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-   -   Does it bother you to be called a "girl"? (https://thetfp.com/tfp/ladies-lounge/89526-does-bother-you-called-girl.html)

raeanna74 05-26-2005 01:51 PM

I think it all depends on the setting and tone of the speaker. At college there was one Hall Monitor who was a couple years younger than I was but if she disapproved of ANYTHING, (like innocent goofing off but "too" unladylike laughter) and she'd say "GIRLS! You really should be acting more like ladies." in this prissy voice that made me want to smash a pie in her face. Ug

Otherwise I've had girlfriends say "Hey girl. What's up." and such things and it doesn't bother me at all. They're not saying it in a condescending way.

Normally though I get called Ma'am. In fact I've only been carded once in my life. I must just look older than I am. I hope not though.

iamabanana 05-30-2005 08:15 PM

I'm 25. I think the only thing that bothers me is when people call me "little girl". Usually it's people that are younger than me, when it's annoying. I especially hate being called "hon" by an 18 year old waitress. ;)

eMOTIONal20 05-31-2005 01:30 AM

It's a little interesting... if a female calls me a girl, it doesn't bother me at all; however, when a male calls me a girl, it seems to irritate me... at least a little. I guess I'm in agreement that as long as it isn't said in a derogatory manner than it's more acceptable.

I bet when I'm 40 I'll appreciate such a word used to describe me. Right now, I want to be a woman. So there.

nickynicole 06-06-2005 05:33 PM

I'm 22, and would probably be offended more if I were called "woman" than "girl." I'm recently married and can hardly stomach calling my husband a man! I think i'm having a really hard time with the whole "growing up" thing.

ChrystalRainne 06-09-2005 01:52 PM

Somewhat; I'd notice and be a little annoyed.

but that's becuse i am almost 20 and i can easly pass for fourteen or fifteen.

Minx 07-06-2005 07:10 AM

My boss refers to me as "his girl" all the time but it doesn't bother me at all. I'm 38 so I don't view it as an insult in any way but I could definitely see how someone younger could feel slighted. It gives one the impression (IMO) that you are immature.

As a side note - I much prefer "girl" over Ma'am. Yuck! That just makes me feel ancient!

Sultana 07-06-2005 07:47 AM

Funny...when I voted, the first thing that sprang into my mind was a work environment. I most certainly do not appreciate being called girl there (part of it may be due to looking younger than my age, and always having to "realign" people's preconceived notions).

Whenever a male at works calls me "girl", I often respond by calling him "boy" in the exact same tone, which *surprise*, they don't much care for. I say if they don't care for the same treatment, then they should refrain from giving it.

BugLover 07-06-2005 08:16 AM

I've been known to respond to "girl" by calling the man a "boy" when responding. Makes them think about it a little more. I've done more in my life than most men I know and to be honest, I don't get "girl" very often from them. But those people who don't know me well are more inclined to use the term and that's where I gently correct them with a "boy" in my response, accompanied by a small grin and a piercing gaze. What bothers me even more are terms of endearment used by strangers "honey", "sweetie", etc. that should be reserved for someone they know or a child. But that's a different topic.

BugLover 07-06-2005 08:18 AM

Ha! I just read the previous post! Someone else does the boy thing too! Cool!

noodle 07-06-2005 04:03 PM

it really depends on who's saying it, for me. i Can't Stand when anyone says "woman" or "female" as a one word expletive. i love it when my boyfriend refers to me as "his girl". "girlfriend" is too cheesy, but he's not usually my "man". mostly "my boy".

and i'm so with everyone on the "honey, baby, sweetie" issue. it took me months and a few "girlie" nicknames for my boy to break him of the "honey". we now stick to "babe" which, for me, is a tolerable medium.

Janey 07-07-2005 08:40 AM

i don't care at what age, I don't mind to be called a girl. As long as the person calling me that is in my peer group.

there are more important things to worry about, but i really hate the condescending terms woman or lady.

maleficent 07-07-2005 08:49 AM

How exactly is woman condescending? A woman is a grown up girl. an adult, a sexual being. A girl is the complete opposite of that.

snowy 07-07-2005 11:39 AM

You know, I said I wasn't bothered by it but then a waiter in a restaurant kept referring to me and my dining companion as "girls." It did bug me then. I'd rather be called a "lady" in that kind of circumstance. "Ladies" or "ma'am" makes me feel better and more adult than "girl." It makes me feel like I'm sixteen, evidently, when someone calls me "girl."

Ralli 07-09-2005 11:51 PM

To be honest, I hate being called woman!!! I know it sounds weird, but I hate it. I hate being called a lady too. Weird!!!!! I prefer to be called girl, but on the other hand, I cant stand when someone says "good girl" to me. :)
I am just not satisfied am I .!!!!!! :crazy:

Janey 07-13-2005 09:33 AM

my feelings exactly. I don't know, woman just seems artificial, and a term to use for the lack of another. usually used towards me by men, or other females in a 'talk down' or condescending manner. Girl, on the other hand is lively, natural and pleasant.

Gilda 07-13-2005 11:46 PM

Interesting. This brings up the issue of usage.

When used in the third person, girl or woman bother me not at all.

I don't like any gender specific noun as a form of direct address; I want to be called [Title][Lastname] unless you are a casual aquaintance.

As a pre-nominative modifier, if you must identify a person's sex, I like "female" best.

la petite moi 07-14-2005 11:31 AM

Good lord, it's just a word. The only time I care is when someone is insulting me.

maleficent 07-14-2005 11:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by la petite moi
Good lord, it's just a word. The only time I care is when someone is insulting me.

I know you hate it when people say this... but I have to.. and I don't mean any thing insulting by it.... :icare:

There's a big difference between being called a girl at age 19 -- though you really arent a girl anymore, you are out on your own so you should be referring to yourself as a young woman.. give yourself the respect you are earning. BUT to be called a girl at my age... a lifetime of experience is being taken away from me and it's demeaning. I am not a girl, no one should be mistaking me for a girl. I don't act like a girl, don't call me a girl.

Maybe you won't feel different when you are older, maybe you will...

Words have meaning. Words have power. It's not just a word.

genuinegirly 07-15-2005 07:19 AM

I really don't notice what people refer to me as... Girl, woman, lady, whatever. I figure that it's understood that I'm a woman.

I do take offense on occasion when someone doesn't acknowledge that I'm female. For instance, working with a bunch of men and the manager says, "men, come with me" or what-not. I hate having to clarify. Especially since it tends to annoy them becuase "of course I meant you too!" ::sigh::

bad jane 07-15-2005 12:14 PM

depends on the context. from someone in my peer group, used in a casual and friendly way--wouldn't bother me. though i don't think any of my friends use "girl," we tend to say "hey woman" instead *shrug* in this sense, i'd view girl as the female equivalent of guy.

and i don't care what word someone uses, i don't like being talked down to period.

i despise terms of endearment from strangers--hun, sweetie, baby take your pick there are tons available. when someone uses girl in that sense, i will correct them. i get this a lot from people at work (not coworkers, but patients) and i do tell them i'd appreciate it if they called me by my name. i don't refer to them that way, i expect the same respect.

the only time i actually smile when being called girl is when it comes from my dad. not often, but sometimes he'll refer to me as his girl, his little girl or his baby girl and i gotta admit, the child in me loves it :) though generally this occurs during those moments when he reflects back on how much i've grown up. i think it's nice. he respects me as a woman, but in his heart's eye, he will forever see me as his child. to me, it's a bonding phrase.

Munchkin 07-18-2005 07:05 AM

I am 32, but most of the time I still feel like I am 16. I do not care to be referred to as girl, especially by males. I think my dad sneering "little girl" at me as I was growing up is largely responsible for this. Ma'am and lady are out as well. I do not feel quite old enough to be called ma'am and a lady, to me, is someone who is prim and proper (neither of which describes me). I prefer woman to anything else. Having said all of this, I find myself referring to other women as girls or ladies. I am a full time student atm and I refer to the ladies in my summer class as girls. When I was was working, I called those women ladies. Strange how I use terms for others that I do not care to be used on me.

At the end of the day, girl IS just a word. However, so are the racial slurs that people so carelessly toss around. I believe, like many of the other women here, that the context in which girl is used will determine how a woman reacts to the word.

Starlene 07-20-2005 10:48 AM

I love being called a grrl, and have loved being called it my whole life. I've always been the girly grrl. The one in all the pink you see running around the mall. ~luv it~ Thats just me though.
I actually just bought a shirt :D that says 100% grrl. I LUV it.

Well thats my 2 cents.

Thx
~Star~

Sugarmouse 07-20-2005 11:46 AM

yes it bothers me.i seemyself as very much a woman-althoughi can act 'girly 'at times. :lol: gues i would need definition to explain better :)

CaliGirl 07-21-2005 08:45 PM

I see nothing wrong with girl. Its better than broad or a few other choice and crude names. Besides, I am a girl..at heart!

Sugarmouse 07-22-2005 04:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by maleficent
How exactly is woman condescending? A woman is a grown up girl. an adult, a sexual being. A girl is the complete opposite of that.

my sentiment exactly!! lol i iam very sexual..inthat way i am far from a gurl.lol

nickynicole 07-25-2005 01:21 PM

I work for a small business run by two women, both in ther sixties. They have a client who just turned 93 years old, and when he calls, he asks if "the girls are in today," and it always makes me smile. In this specific context, and man in his 90s speaking to someone much younger, it seems appropriate and endearing. Besides, what 65 year old woman wouldn't mind being called "girl?"

prizm 07-25-2005 02:55 PM

it only bothers me when other women refer to a bunch of other women as "girls." As in, "Hey girls, look at this." It feels rather condescending.


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