Double Standards *WARNING : VENT* - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

amonkie · 02-07-2005, 03:16 PM

OK ladies, Please tell me I'm not completely blowing this out of the water!! If I am, I'll blame it on PMS eventually

The whole online dating thing is the current craze, and while I myself have not participated, all of my single friends - both guy/girl, straight/gay have been opening accounts, and then conferring with me about the "potentials" they see. What is REALLY getting my goat is the guys ( the only ones I've seen guilty of this thus far), while they are not the model "in shape, non couch potato" build as can be seen by their profile pictures, turn right around and in their ad they list their "ideal" as a pretty much a supermodel. The kicker is when I end up hearing from some of the guys about how they're not getting any responses, the smart aleck in me wants to say " You know why? Because there just NO SUCH THING as the "perfect" woman you are looking for! She Doesn't exist!"

Because I personally am NOT a 110 lb 5'7 blond bombshell, and I don't care to be, I focus so much more on a person's personality than their looks because I know that I would hope someone would do the same for me, instead of glancing over just because I happen to be comfortable with myself and not try to fit the so called "mold". If these people who are posting ads of themselves expect people to focus solely on their personality because according to current societal standards they might be viewed as "less than attractive" for whatever reason, they need to return the favor.

/ rant

I don't know if it's just me today, or if just seeing something today sparked this in me, but I dunno. I haven't dated in over 2 and a half years, and haven't really had a desire to because I haven't met anybody who's sparked my mind and my interest enough to make me interested. What I wouldn't give right now for an available friend, oh well.

maleficent · 02-07-2005, 03:42 PM

/me high fives amonkie

(this is where I get called a bitter old shrew)

I couldn't agree more.

Years back, I coined the term "Rock Star Syndrome". Perfectly ordinary, average (or less than average looking guys, if we're going on the supermode scale) who have this sense of entitlement to supermodels (Think Ric Ocasek and Billy Joel). If someone who looks like Ric Ocasek can land himself a babe, well then Joe Schmoe down the street thinks he's entitled to the same babe, and ignores the perfectly nice girl, who will will never be on a magazine cover, across the street.

You, Miss Amonkie, are an absolutely beautiful young woman. You are intelligent, kind, caring, have a great personality, and sense of humor ( I could go on and on and on and on), and guy who can't see that, is clearly a moron and is not worth your time.

I get so sick and tired of the premium being placed on what a person looks like rather than who the person is.

la petite moi · 02-07-2005, 04:29 PM

Girls do it too, though.

I know many shallow young ladies that only go for guys with six-packs and a shiny bright smile. It's pathetic, and in the end, all shallow people like that will get what's coming to them- a bad reputation.

amonkie · 02-07-2005, 04:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by la petite moi

Girls do it too, though.

I know many shallow young ladies that only go for guys with six-packs and a shiny bright smile. It's pathetic, and in the end, all shallow people like that will get what's coming to them- a bad reputation.

I'm not saying that girls don't do it too, but I was specifically going off the way the personal ads were being phrased, hence my "only ones I've seen so far"

Glad to see though I'm not out of my mind, I've felt that way today.

maleficent · 02-07-2005, 04:54 PM

I honestly wish I could say that it was a phase and it was grown out of either... but .... sadly...

Squishor · 02-07-2005, 06:33 PM

It's so true.

I've particularly noticed this in internet forums, actually - the ones I fled from to come here in fact. You have a bunch of guys online talking about hot chicks and how they'd like to bone them, or not, as the case may be. Someone posts a picture of a perfectly good-looking young women, and all these guys come out of the woodwork and criticize her looks because she's not perfect enough. "Nose too long," "thighs too fat," "fugly," "what's with the mole on her chest," etc. etc. Yet, when you see the thread where they post pictures of themselves, guess what? They're all a bunch of chubby, mundane-looking dorks with skin problems! Who the hell do they think they are?

shesus · 02-07-2005, 06:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Squishor

I've particularly noticed this in internet forums, actually - the ones I fled from to come here in fact. You have a bunch of guys online talking about hot chicks and how they'd like to bone them, or not, as the case may be. Someone posts a picture of a perfectly good-looking young women, and all these guys come out of the woodwork and criticize her looks because she's not perfect enough.

That is one thing that I really like about this forum. I am new, but my husband has been a member for over a year now. He has posted some pictures of me in the exhibition site. While looking through that forum, it was nice to see people complimenting people on their bodies. I think that people, men especially, need to realize that real women are not on rigorous physical training, do not have a private dietician, do not have plastic surgery, and are not airbrushed.
I went to a beauty salon and was talking to one of the stylists. One of her friends in a Victoria Secret model. She said that the pictures of her don't even look like her because of all the airbrushing.
Anyway, now I am on a roll...I think that media needs to start showing real people. Marilyn Monroe and Grace Kelly were not stick thin, yet they were considered very sexy and beautiful.
A few years ago, I was teaching 3rd grade and one of my girls was already turning anorexic because of media influences. Her mom caught her searching for diet pills on-line and hiding her lunches in her backpack. I had to sit with her and make sure that she ate her lunch. It is sad to see how society is corrupting the image of people. I know that I am not fat at 5'7" and 127 lbs. However, I sometimes feel overweight after watching certain television shows and looking at the magazines in the grocery aisle. The only thing that makes me happy is that although I don't have a perfect complexion, large breasts, blonde hair, and a sculpted body, I do have a brain and a personality (not always a good one, but it is there

).
Sorry if that went off in 20 different directions, it always hits a sore spot.

02-07-2005, 03:16 PM	#1 (permalink)
amonkie Drifting Administrator Location: Windy City	Double Standards WARNING : VENT OK ladies, Please tell me I'm not completely blowing this out of the water!! If I am, I'll blame it on PMS eventually The whole online dating thing is the current craze, and while I myself have not participated, all of my single friends - both guy/girl, straight/gay have been opening accounts, and then conferring with me about the "potentials" they see. What is REALLY getting my goat is the guys ( the only ones I've seen guilty of this thus far), while they are not the model "in shape, non couch potato" build as can be seen by their profile pictures, turn right around and in their ad they list their "ideal" as a pretty much a supermodel. The kicker is when I end up hearing from some of the guys about how they're not getting any responses, the smart aleck in me wants to say " You know why? Because there just NO SUCH THING as the "perfect" woman you are looking for! She Doesn't exist!" Because I personally am NOT a 110 lb 5'7 blond bombshell, and I don't care to be, I focus so much more on a person's personality than their looks because I know that I would hope someone would do the same for me, instead of glancing over just because I happen to be comfortable with myself and not try to fit the so called "mold". If these people who are posting ads of themselves expect people to focus solely on their personality because according to current societal standards they might be viewed as "less than attractive" for whatever reason, they need to return the favor. / rant I don't know if it's just me today, or if just seeing something today sparked this in me, but I dunno. I haven't dated in over 2 and a half years, and haven't really had a desire to because I haven't met anybody who's sparked my mind and my interest enough to make me interested. What I wouldn't give right now for an available friend, oh well. __________________ Calling from deep in the heart, from where the eyes can't see and the ears can't hear, from where the mountain trails end and only love can go... ~~~ Three Rivers Hare Krishna

02-07-2005, 03:42 PM	#2 (permalink)
maleficent Junkie Moderator Emeritus Location: Chicago	/me high fives amonkie (this is where I get called a bitter old shrew) I couldn't agree more. Years back, I coined the term "Rock Star Syndrome". Perfectly ordinary, average (or less than average looking guys, if we're going on the supermode scale) who have this sense of entitlement to supermodels (Think Ric Ocasek and Billy Joel). If someone who looks like Ric Ocasek can land himself a babe, well then Joe Schmoe down the street thinks he's entitled to the same babe, and ignores the perfectly nice girl, who will will never be on a magazine cover, across the street. You, Miss Amonkie, are an absolutely beautiful young woman. You are intelligent, kind, caring, have a great personality, and sense of humor ( I could go on and on and on and on), and guy who can't see that, is clearly a moron and is not worth your time. I get so sick and tired of the premium being placed on what a person looks like rather than who the person is. __________________ Free your heart from hatred. Free your mind from worries. Live simply. Give more. Expect less.

02-07-2005, 04:54 PM	#5 (permalink)
maleficent Junkie Moderator Emeritus Location: Chicago	I honestly wish I could say that it was a phase and it was grown out of either... but .... sadly... __________________ Free your heart from hatred. Free your mind from worries. Live simply. Give more. Expect less.

02-07-2005, 04:29 PM	#3 (permalink)
la petite moi Filling the Void. Location: California	Girls do it too, though. I know many shallow young ladies that only go for guys with six-packs and a shiny bright smile. It's pathetic, and in the end, all shallow people like that will get what's coming to them- a bad reputation.

02-07-2005, 06:33 PM	#6 (permalink)
Squishor Frontal Lobe Location: California	It's so true. I've particularly noticed this in internet forums, actually - the ones I fled from to come here in fact. You have a bunch of guys online talking about hot chicks and how they'd like to bone them, or not, as the case may be. Someone posts a picture of a perfectly good-looking young women, and all these guys come out of the woodwork and criticize her looks because she's not perfect enough. "Nose too long," "thighs too fat," "fugly," "what's with the mole on her chest," etc. etc. Yet, when you see the thread where they post pictures of themselves, guess what? They're all a bunch of chubby, mundane-looking dorks with skin problems! Who the hell do they think they are?