Comebacks..just for the girls! - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

KinkyKiwi · 11-19-2004, 10:08 AM

theres a thread of mens pickup lines in humor..so i figured i shoudl post funny comebacks just for women

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.

Man: So, wanna go back to my place ?
Woman: Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?

Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine.

Man: I'd like to call you. What's your number?
Woman: It's in the phone book.
Man: But I don't know your name.
Woman: That's in the phone book too.

Man: So what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.

Man: What sign were you born under?
Woman: No Parking.

Man: Hey, baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not Enter

Man: I know how to please a woman.
Woman: Then please leave me alone.

Man: I want to give myself to you.
Woman: Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts.

Man: I can tell that you want me.
Woman: Ohhhh. You're so right. I want you.....to leave.

Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy:
Woman: Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I'd probably die
laughing.

Man: Hey cutie, how 'bout you and I hitting the hot spots?
Woman: Sorry, I don't date outside my species.

Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

Man: I'd go through anything for you.
Woman: Good! Let's start with your bank account.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: Yes, but would you stay there?**

Man: Do you believe in sex before the first date?
Woman: You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.

Woman: And your name is....?* Man:My name is INCREDIBLE, but you can call me *blank*.
Woman: You sound reasonable......time to up my medication.

Man: Hey baby, what’s your sign?
Women: Stop, Do Not Enter and Detour to the left.

Lizzy · 11-19-2004, 12:06 PM

KinkyKiwi · 11-19-2004, 12:49 PM

hahaha, well at least someone else liked them

xxSquirtxx · 11-19-2004, 01:54 PM

Those are funny.

Grasshopper Green · 11-19-2004, 04:13 PM

Hehe, they were good!

KinkyKiwi · 11-19-2004, 04:24 PM

i know ..hehehe thats why i posted them

i've only gotten to use a few tho ...

sapphire · 11-19-2004, 08:00 PM

LOL those really are funny, I think I'll use some of them!!

KinkyKiwi · 11-19-2004, 09:39 PM

btw..the other variation on the first one..havent i seen you someplace before..and you respnd with yes i'm the receptionist at your VD clinic

amonkie · 11-20-2004, 12:58 AM

The body as a temple is an awesome one..., I'll have to remember that!

Thanks Kiwi...

KinkyKiwi · 11-20-2004, 09:58 AM

welcome

jillian · 11-20-2004, 08:08 PM

hahahaha... ive used a couple of those before

Tira_Lee · 11-21-2004, 05:35 PM

hee hee

nice

good job

anti fishstick · 11-22-2004, 01:25 AM

this reminds me of a girl I saw on public transport that a guy tried to hit on. She simply said "no" and gestured her hand in that "no thanks, don't go there" HALT manner and he said "i know" [I knew I never had a chance!] and started reading a paper instead. I thought that was the greatest thing

KinkyKiwi · 11-23-2004, 04:22 PM

hahaha anti..thats great! i love when women stand up for thenselves like that!!

11-19-2004, 10:08 AM	#1 (permalink)
KinkyKiwi "Without the fuzz" Location: ..too close for comfort..	Comebacks..just for the girls! theres a thread of mens pickup lines in humor..so i figured i shoudl post funny comebacks just for women Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Woman: Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore. Man: Is this seat empty? Woman: Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down. Man: So, wanna go back to my place ? Woman: Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock? Man: Your place or mine? Woman: Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine. Man: I'd like to call you. What's your number? Woman: It's in the phone book. Man: But I don't know your name. Woman: That's in the phone book too. Man: So what do you do for a living? Woman: I'm a female impersonator. Man: What sign were you born under? Woman: No Parking. Man: Hey, baby, what's your sign? Woman: Do not Enter Man: I know how to please a woman. Woman: Then please leave me alone. Man: I want to give myself to you. Woman: Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts. Man: I can tell that you want me. Woman: Ohhhh. You're so right. I want you.....to leave. Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy: Woman: Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing. Man: Hey cutie, how 'bout you and I hitting the hot spots? Woman: Sorry, I don't date outside my species. Man: Your body is like a temple. Woman: Sorry, there are no services today. Man: I'd go through anything for you. Woman: Good! Let's start with your bank account. Man: I would go to the end of the world for you. Woman: Yes, but would you stay there?** Man: Do you believe in sex before the first date? Woman: You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers. Woman: And your name is....?* Man:My name is INCREDIBLE, but you can call me blank. Woman: You sound reasonable......time to up my medication. Man: Hey baby, what’s your sign? Women: Stop, Do Not Enter and Detour to the left. __________________ Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps. Play with each other. Play with yourselves. Just don't play with the squirrels, they bite.

11-19-2004, 12:49 PM	#3 (permalink)
KinkyKiwi "Without the fuzz" Location: ..too close for comfort..	hahaha, well at least someone else liked them __________________ Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps. Play with each other. Play with yourselves. Just don't play with the squirrels, they bite.

11-19-2004, 01:54 PM	#4 (permalink)
xxSquirtxx More anal, less shenanigans Location: Always lurking	Those are funny. __________________ .

11-19-2004, 04:13 PM	#5 (permalink)
Grasshopper Green ...is a comical chap Location: Where morons reign supreme	Hehe, they were good! __________________ "They say that patriotism is the last refuge to which a scoundrel clings; steal a little and they throw you in jail, steal a lot and they make you king" Formerly Medusa

11-19-2004, 04:24 PM	#6 (permalink)
KinkyKiwi "Without the fuzz" Location: ..too close for comfort..	i know ..hehehe thats why i posted them i've only gotten to use a few tho ... __________________ Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps. Play with each other. Play with yourselves. Just don't play with the squirrels, they bite.

11-19-2004, 12:06 PM	#2 (permalink)
Lizzy Upright Location: Memphis, TN

11-19-2004, 08:00 PM	#7 (permalink)
sapphire Tilted	LOL those really are funny, I think I'll use some of them!!

11-19-2004, 09:39 PM	#8 (permalink)
KinkyKiwi "Without the fuzz" Location: ..too close for comfort..	btw..the other variation on the first one..havent i seen you someplace before..and you respnd with yes i'm the receptionist at your VD clinic __________________ Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps. Play with each other. Play with yourselves. Just don't play with the squirrels, they bite.

11-20-2004, 12:58 AM	#9 (permalink)
amonkie Drifting Administrator Location: Windy City	The body as a temple is an awesome one..., I'll have to remember that! Thanks Kiwi... __________________ Calling from deep in the heart, from where the eyes can't see and the ears can't hear, from where the mountain trails end and only love can go... ~~~ Three Rivers Hare Krishna

11-20-2004, 09:58 AM	#10 (permalink)
KinkyKiwi "Without the fuzz" Location: ..too close for comfort..	welcome __________________ Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps. Play with each other. Play with yourselves. Just don't play with the squirrels, they bite.

11-20-2004, 08:08 PM	#11 (permalink)
jillian Crazy Location: indiana	hahahaha... ive used a couple of those before

11-21-2004, 05:35 PM	#12 (permalink)
Tira_Lee Upright Location: PA	hee hee nice good job __________________ http://elfwood.lysator.liu.se/loth/t/i/tiralee/ <--Art http://public.fotki.com/TiraLee/ <--Pics and Art

11-22-2004, 01:25 AM	#13 (permalink)
anti fishstick Post-modernism meets Individualism AKA the Clash Location: oregon	this reminds me of a girl I saw on public transport that a guy tried to hit on. She simply said "no" and gestured her hand in that "no thanks, don't go there" HALT manner and he said "i know" [I knew I never had a chance!] and started reading a paper instead. I thought that was the greatest thing __________________ And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom. ~Anais Nin

11-23-2004, 04:22 PM	#14 (permalink)
KinkyKiwi "Without the fuzz" Location: ..too close for comfort..	hahaha anti..thats great! i love when women stand up for thenselves like that!! __________________ Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps. Play with each other. Play with yourselves. Just don't play with the squirrels, they bite.