Jealous boyfriends - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

AngelHands · 10-03-2003, 05:48 PM

Okay girls, anyone have any interesting experiences with semi-jealous or jealous boyfriends? Mine shows some jealous tendencies sometimes, and I bet it'd make me feel better if I could get some insight/stories from other ladies.

collide · 10-03-2003, 09:25 PM

I think we've all been there before... but then again, sometimes I behave the same way. I find that the more I learn to trust him, the less I have to worry or feel jealous about anything. Jealousy is just a symptom of suspicion and insecurity. Once you build that foundation of trust, it's really not an issue.

SiN · 10-04-2003, 12:39 AM

more info perhaps?

why/what situations does he get jealous in, and is there any past history either in your relation with him or his past relations or hell even his childhood to cause such things?

AngelHands · 10-04-2003, 08:28 AM

There was some shit a couple months ago. We weren't technically together then, though. We've had an interesting relationship the whole time.

Most of my friends are guys. It seems to be that when I talk to them, he gets upset with me. It doesn't matter if it's a good friend from years ago or if it's a friend I've only had a few months. This has been since we first started seeing each other, even before we became exclusive. He just never said anything about it until then. Like, the day we decided to become exclusive, the first conversation we had was how it would help him a lot if I wasn't such good friends with guys. I've never had too many girl friends, and he knew most of my friends were guys from the beginning, because I don't get along with most girls.

I can see how building trust would help... but.... I mean, if I'm not at work and he's not at school, we're with each other. And he knows I love him and don't wanna be with anyone else.

*boy I'm gonna hear it when he reads this.....*

sexymama · 10-04-2003, 02:21 PM

AngelHands, Lebell has a number of female friends and we live in two different locations (very long distance relationship.) Sometimes it is easy for me to get jealous. (Distance, mixed with the fact that my ex had affairs.) What helps me feel better is our open communication. He always tells me when he went out with a female friend and what they did. I trust him and appreciate that he doesn't hide the truth from me. If he did, I would feel like he was sneaking. This way, I may get a jealous pang; but then I'm able to remind myself that he is friends with them and in love with me and that I'm his best friend.

So, my suggestion with you is to be completely honest and upfront as well as reassuring when those jealous pangs hit your bf. Remind him that he is the one you choose to love! Whatever you do, don't give up your friendships for him -- you will resent him in the long run if you do.

lafemmefatale · 10-04-2003, 10:55 PM

o man. i had a friend who dated this guy i knew who seemed soooo laid back usually but when they went out he was so jealous of EVERYTHING! if she talked to guy friends, hung out with guy friends or even made sexual jokes with other GIRLS he'd get upset with her. If she had a problem with him, whenever they argued, he'd use the argument that she doesn't love him as much as he does her or something equally as lame. Thank god they broke up [not soon enough though].

mew · 10-10-2003, 07:32 PM

my bf gets so jealouse when i say im going out with the gang and asks a whole bunch of questions like "whos going" and"oh all the guys are gonna hit on you" and mostly blaming me for "having guys hit on me"-which they dont. We have a long distance relationship and it drives him nuts. If i want to go for coffee with a guy friend since highschool he basically asks..who the guys is and is only"ok" with it if he met the guy and knows the guy well. I tell him im going without his acceptance. Im not gonna ask if I can go out when I want to or ask to hang with certain people. Im not a matt and Im not his slave. Im too Independant for that.

SiN · 10-11-2003, 03:45 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by AngelHands
There was some shit a couple months ago.

i think you hit the head on the nail.

cruisergirl · 10-12-2003, 12:10 PM

My husband of five years was a very jeleous person, but then so am I, because of relationships in the past. For the longest time it was just the two of us, we didn't have any freinds and only spent time with each other. NEVER DO THAT!! If you have to cut yourself off from the rest of the world to trust each other, it's not worth the trust, ya dig? I always had guy freinds, and now that I'm divorcing I get to see them all alot, and it's good for me. So, you need your own life as well as your lives together to be in a truly healthy relationship, and if anyone tries to keep you from your freinds and/or family, run the other way as fast as you can!!

Minx · 10-12-2003, 02:18 PM

Trust and communication is the key. My ex used to be very jealous and that just didn't fly too well as most of my friends are male. Jealousy turned into a control thing and that is just something I will not tolerate.
When you care very deeply for someone it's hard not to get jealous over them, at least it is for me, but it is one of the "bad" emotions as far as I'm concerned. If I am with someone I love then that means I trust them 100% so I give them all the freedom they wish and as long as the respect/trust I give is returned then there is never ever any problem.
And...the best thing to do if you ever get jealous if some girl hits on your guy when you are out, just wander over and whisper in his ear what you want to do to him when you get home. See how quickly your "nemesis" ends up out of the picture!

wannabenakid247 · 10-17-2003, 02:14 AM

This is really interesting because i thought men were more laid back than women about this sort of stuff. Everything that everyones said is just like my girlfriend (I am female). She doesnt like me seeing my ex girlfriend even though we are still friends. I have even told her (which i dont agree with) that i wont see her any more. However she still accuses me of having contact with her and says that she is totally insecure. She says that she trusts me but not other people. Doesnt that just mean that she dosnt trust me though? How does she think that anything could happen if she trusts me? It does my head in!!!!!

collide · 10-17-2003, 02:22 AM

That's because jealousy and insecurity are human conditions, non-exclusive to gender.

gabshu · 10-28-2003, 01:58 PM

My boyfriend isn't at all jealous of anything, or at least he doesn't show it or doesn't tell me. It kinda bothers me sometimes that I feel he SHOULD get jealous of some things, so I don't know you can never have the perfect relationship

I'm really jealous, and I used to give my boyfriend (unjustified) crap about hanging out with this one girl, but one day the three of us hung out and I realized she was a totally cool girl and that I shouldn't feel threatened by her. So maybe if you hang out with your friends and your boyfriend at the same time that might help.

Forever · 10-31-2003, 06:41 PM

I hate to hijack the thread, but if the thread I was just reading in Tilted Sexuality really is your boyfriend, it seems to be two very different sides of one story..

AngelHands · 11-01-2003, 07:25 AM

Umm, for the record, the reason I let this thread drop in the first place was because if I was going to tell the story, I was going to tell the WHOLE story, which he has not done there, and which I realized would cause more pain and frustration to both of us than what we needed. AND, he has admitted that he did not post the REAL version of the story. Not even close to a realistic version of the story. If you really want a more realistic view of the story, feel free to PM me and we'll chat about it...

txgirl · 11-02-2003, 07:18 AM

Ditto Cruisergirl. I now have a bf who is the furthest thing from jealous, and funny, I don't have those tendencies either...my main friends are guys and if the person that I'm with can't deal with it...walk on...don't have time for bulls....in my life!

gabshu · 11-03-2003, 07:12 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Forever
I hate to hijack the thread, but if the thread I was just reading in Tilted Sexuality really is your boyfriend, it seems to be two very different sides of one story..

What thread is this, I've been trying to look for it but have not succeded. If the answer is obvious please don't be too harsh on me

AngelHands · 11-04-2003, 09:30 AM

http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/showthr...threadid=30759

Go to town

10-03-2003, 05:48 PM	#1 (permalink)
AngelHands Upright Location: Arizona, the devil's homeland	Jealous boyfriends Okay girls, anyone have any interesting experiences with semi-jealous or jealous boyfriends? Mine shows some jealous tendencies sometimes, and I bet it'd make me feel better if I could get some insight/stories from other ladies. __________________ lost and broken

10-03-2003, 09:25 PM	#2 (permalink)
collide Turn off your TV. Location: ... .- -. ..-. .-. .- -. -.-. .. ... -.-. --- --..-- -.-. .-	I think we've all been there before... but then again, sometimes I behave the same way. I find that the more I learn to trust him, the less I have to worry or feel jealous about anything. Jealousy is just a symptom of suspicion and insecurity. Once you build that foundation of trust, it's really not an issue. __________________ "inhuman fiery goat worship" is an anagram for "information superhighway" -kingvolc

10-04-2003, 12:39 AM	#3 (permalink)
SiN strangelove Location: ...more here than there...	more info perhaps? why/what situations does he get jealous in, and is there any past history either in your relation with him or his past relations or hell even his childhood to cause such things? __________________ - + - ° GiRLie GeeK ° - + - ° 01110010011011110110111101110100001000000110110101100101 Therell be days/When Ill stray/I may appear to be/Constantly out of reach/I give in to sin/Because I like to practise what I preach

10-04-2003, 08:28 AM	#4 (permalink)
AngelHands Upright Location: Arizona, the devil's homeland	There was some shit a couple months ago. We weren't technically together then, though. We've had an interesting relationship the whole time. Most of my friends are guys. It seems to be that when I talk to them, he gets upset with me. It doesn't matter if it's a good friend from years ago or if it's a friend I've only had a few months. This has been since we first started seeing each other, even before we became exclusive. He just never said anything about it until then. Like, the day we decided to become exclusive, the first conversation we had was how it would help him a lot if I wasn't such good friends with guys. I've never had too many girl friends, and he knew most of my friends were guys from the beginning, because I don't get along with most girls. I can see how building trust would help... but.... I mean, if I'm not at work and he's not at school, we're with each other. And he knows I love him and don't wanna be with anyone else. boy I'm gonna hear it when he reads this..... __________________ lost and broken

10-04-2003, 02:21 PM	#5 (permalink)
sexymama My own person -- his by choice Location: Lebell's arms	AngelHands, Lebell has a number of female friends and we live in two different locations (very long distance relationship.) Sometimes it is easy for me to get jealous. (Distance, mixed with the fact that my ex had affairs.) What helps me feel better is our open communication. He always tells me when he went out with a female friend and what they did. I trust him and appreciate that he doesn't hide the truth from me. If he did, I would feel like he was sneaking. This way, I may get a jealous pang; but then I'm able to remind myself that he is friends with them and in love with me and that I'm his best friend. So, my suggestion with you is to be completely honest and upfront as well as reassuring when those jealous pangs hit your bf. Remind him that he is the one you choose to love! Whatever you do, don't give up your friendships for him -- you will resent him in the long run if you do. __________________ If you can go deeply into lovemaking, the ego disappears. That is the beauty of lovemaking, that it is another source of a glimpse of god It's not about being perfect; it's about developing some skill at managing imperfection.

10-04-2003, 10:55 PM	#6 (permalink)
lafemmefatale Insane Location: Vancouver	o man. i had a friend who dated this guy i knew who seemed soooo laid back usually but when they went out he was so jealous of EVERYTHING! if she talked to guy friends, hung out with guy friends or even made sexual jokes with other GIRLS he'd get upset with her. If she had a problem with him, whenever they argued, he'd use the argument that she doesn't love him as much as he does her or something equally as lame. Thank god they broke up [not soon enough though]. __________________ -poor is the man whose pleasure depends on the permission of another-

10-10-2003, 07:32 PM	#7 (permalink)
mew Psycho Location: Canada	my bf gets so jealouse when i say im going out with the gang and asks a whole bunch of questions like "whos going" and"oh all the guys are gonna hit on you" and mostly blaming me for "having guys hit on me"-which they dont. We have a long distance relationship and it drives him nuts. If i want to go for coffee with a guy friend since highschool he basically asks..who the guys is and is only"ok" with it if he met the guy and knows the guy well. I tell him im going without his acceptance. Im not gonna ask if I can go out when I want to or ask to hang with certain people. Im not a matt and Im not his slave. Im too Independant for that.

10-12-2003, 12:10 PM	#9 (permalink)
cruisergirl Upright Location: Mesa	My husband of five years was a very jeleous person, but then so am I, because of relationships in the past. For the longest time it was just the two of us, we didn't have any freinds and only spent time with each other. NEVER DO THAT!! If you have to cut yourself off from the rest of the world to trust each other, it's not worth the trust, ya dig? I always had guy freinds, and now that I'm divorcing I get to see them all alot, and it's good for me. So, you need your own life as well as your lives together to be in a truly healthy relationship, and if anyone tries to keep you from your freinds and/or family, run the other way as fast as you can!! __________________ If your going to ride my ass, at least pull my hair. Love, Cruisergirl.

10-12-2003, 02:18 PM	#10 (permalink)
Minx Junkie Location: Up yonder	Trust and communication is the key. My ex used to be very jealous and that just didn't fly too well as most of my friends are male. Jealousy turned into a control thing and that is just something I will not tolerate. When you care very deeply for someone it's hard not to get jealous over them, at least it is for me, but it is one of the "bad" emotions as far as I'm concerned. If I am with someone I love then that means I trust them 100% so I give them all the freedom they wish and as long as the respect/trust I give is returned then there is never ever any problem. And...the best thing to do if you ever get jealous if some girl hits on your guy when you are out, just wander over and whisper in his ear what you want to do to him when you get home. See how quickly your "nemesis" ends up out of the picture! __________________ You've been a naughty boy....go to my room!

10-17-2003, 02:14 AM	#11 (permalink)
wannabenakid247 Registered User Location: Wales, UK	This is really interesting because i thought men were more laid back than women about this sort of stuff. Everything that everyones said is just like my girlfriend (I am female). She doesnt like me seeing my ex girlfriend even though we are still friends. I have even told her (which i dont agree with) that i wont see her any more. However she still accuses me of having contact with her and says that she is totally insecure. She says that she trusts me but not other people. Doesnt that just mean that she dosnt trust me though? How does she think that anything could happen if she trusts me? It does my head in!!!!! Last edited by wannabenakid247; 10-30-2003 at 08:20 AM..

10-17-2003, 02:22 AM	#12 (permalink)
collide Turn off your TV. Location: ... .- -. ..-. .-. .- -. -.-. .. ... -.-. --- --..-- -.-. .-	That's because jealousy and insecurity are human conditions, non-exclusive to gender. __________________ "inhuman fiery goat worship" is an anagram for "information superhighway" -kingvolc

10-28-2003, 01:58 PM	#13 (permalink)
gabshu Psycho Location: The capital of the free world??	My boyfriend isn't at all jealous of anything, or at least he doesn't show it or doesn't tell me. It kinda bothers me sometimes that I feel he SHOULD get jealous of some things, so I don't know you can never have the perfect relationship I'm really jealous, and I used to give my boyfriend (unjustified) crap about hanging out with this one girl, but one day the three of us hung out and I realized she was a totally cool girl and that I shouldn't feel threatened by her. So maybe if you hang out with your friends and your boyfriend at the same time that might help. __________________ Go Kool Aid. OH YEAAHH http://www.retrocrush.com/archive2003/koolaid/

10-31-2003, 06:41 PM	#14 (permalink)
Forever Upright Location: Orlando, FL	I hate to hijack the thread, but if the thread I was just reading in Tilted Sexuality really is your boyfriend, it seems to be two very different sides of one story..

11-01-2003, 07:25 AM	#15 (permalink)
AngelHands Upright Location: Arizona, the devil's homeland	Umm, for the record, the reason I let this thread drop in the first place was because if I was going to tell the story, I was going to tell the WHOLE story, which he has not done there, and which I realized would cause more pain and frustration to both of us than what we needed. AND, he has admitted that he did not post the REAL version of the story. Not even close to a realistic version of the story. If you really want a more realistic view of the story, feel free to PM me and we'll chat about it... __________________ lost and broken

11-02-2003, 07:18 AM	#16 (permalink)
txgirl so many men...so little time. Location: Bellingham	Ditto Cruisergirl. I now have a bf who is the furthest thing from jealous, and funny, I don't have those tendencies either...my main friends are guys and if the person that I'm with can't deal with it...walk on...don't have time for bulls....in my life!

11-04-2003, 09:30 AM	#18 (permalink)
AngelHands Upright Location: Arizona, the devil's homeland	http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/showthr...threadid=30759 Go to town __________________ lost and broken