Do you ever take one for the team? - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

*Nikki* · 11-19-2007, 08:11 PM

This is an expression I use when my husband wants to have sex and I don't

I still want him to be satisfied, but I am just not in the mood. So I allow him to have his way without worrying about pleasuring me, just himself.

So when this happens I tell him "I am just going to take one for the team tonight."

Any other team players?

Jenna · 11-19-2007, 08:43 PM

Yeah, occasionally. But I slowly get into usually.

*Nikki* · 11-19-2007, 09:10 PM

Yes, for the most part that USUALLY happens for me also. However there are times when I just can't get into it for whatever reason.

snowy · 11-19-2007, 10:01 PM

Yeah, typically I get into it though.

abaya · 11-20-2007, 04:04 AM

My sex drive appears to be higher and less variable than ktspktsp's, so I "take one" whenever I can, even if I'm not in the mood. I don't generally orgasm with him unless it's during oral sex (fairly rare), so basically, when he feels like doing it, we have sex and he comes. So I guess it's always "one for the team," though I do feel pleasure just from the act of being intimate with him.

Jenna · 11-20-2007, 05:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by *Nikki*

Yes, for the most part that USUALLY happens for me also. However there are times when I just can't get into it for whatever reason.

Yeah, I can only say I've done that a FEW times. I can specifically only remember once.

If I'm not into it, he can tell, which makes him not into it.

CaliLivChick · 11-20-2007, 07:53 PM

If I could get into the mood, but it would take some effort, I say "I'm convincible". Otherwise, enh...

*Nikki* · 11-21-2007, 12:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jennaboo4u

Yeah, I can only say I've done that a FEW times. I can specifically only remember once.

If I'm not into it, he can tell, which makes him not into it.

Ha! That doesn't effect my husband at all.

Starkizzer · 11-22-2007, 12:21 AM

I have to say that I do "take one for the team" from time to time. I'm a team player especially in the morning when I'm not quite awake but he's looking for some. Sometimes I'm so tired it all just seems like a dream and other times it wakes me up and gets my engine going.

BlueEyes · 11-24-2007, 06:57 PM

I don't ever find myself "taking one for the team." Even if I'm not in the mood, it isn't hard to get me there.

sibylable · 11-25-2007, 09:13 PM

just be yourself

Sweetpea · 11-26-2007, 08:51 PM

I'm almost always up for sex 99.9 percent of the time and on the rare occasion I am not into sex because I might be feeling tired, we usually masturbate together to porn or a shared fantasy...
Since we also share a girlfriend, We have sex so often either with her or together that he doesn't mind a day off here or there on the rare occasion I am really not feeling sexual.

I think whatever works for you, works for you, I don't see any problem with taking it for the team... if he is also interested in doing so by getting you off when he may not be feeling sexual himself.

surferlove007 · 11-26-2007, 10:49 PM

On occasion, although I ended up having a UTI over the thanksgiving break and that was killing my sex drive.
Those things are a real mood-killer.

So sometimes I will when I'm not in the mood. Although like many of you ladies, once we start I enjoy myself, not always getting to the finish line but pretty close.

Juley · 11-27-2007, 06:30 PM

I'm a team player about 20% of the time. Sounds like a lot, but it doesn't really bother me.....As long as he comes through for me every time I'm NOT taking one for the team!

silvrdark · 12-06-2007, 07:58 PM

Complicated question. I suppose I do "take one for the team" occasionally. My problem is one of timing, though. Here's what I mean:

By 10 PM, I'm ready for sex... to be followed by bed. The problem is, my boyfriend has become a bit of an insomniac lately. He is in the middle of something at this point, and no amount of sexy coaxing on my part can pull him away.

Eventually, as the hours roll past, I get so tired and HAVE to go to sleep. Sometime between 2 and 4, my boyfriend rolls up in bed and is finally in the mood. Meanwhile, I'm just drifting into deep sleep. I might be able to roll over and accommodate him, but at this point I rarely have the energy for anything really great.

mixedmedia · 12-07-2007, 02:49 AM

Generally, I am always up for sex. Granted, I am not in a live-in relationship right now, but...

...and I don't want to be a bummer. But I used to 'take one for the team' when I was in a very unhappy marriage...only to get him to shut up...and it always made me feel like shit.

Moral of this story, ladies...if you are unhappy with your relationship and you don't feel like having sex? Don't, don't, don't do it.

jen71au · 12-08-2007, 01:56 AM

I am with mixed media here.

The only time I have "taken one for the team" was when I was in an unhappy relationship.

*Nikki* · 12-08-2007, 12:30 PM

Sorry but there are times when I have absolutely no interest in sex and there is nothing that will get me there, but I still want to please my husband. So that is when we have sex for his sake.

Our marriage is VERY happy and he is my best friend.

jen71au · 12-08-2007, 02:49 PM

I always had a great sex drive, I wasn't suggesting you were unhappy.

I do have to say though, sometimes I wanted to make love, and other times I just wanted to fuck. Though I don't think that is what you were talking about in your first post.

Sometimes it is hard for two people to have the same sex drive. Which is when I suppose, you would find the need to "take one for the team"

IdolGirl · 12-09-2007, 05:19 AM

I was in a relationship for 9 years, and constantly took one for the team. He wanted it 24/7, and I simply did not. Well, he didn't really get the hints of "I'm not in the mood", so I tried telling him point blank that I didn't want to have sex. So he says "ok, I'll leave you alone." Then, right on the heels of saying that, he would start spooning, rubbing my chest, etc..all the typical actions that are FAR from leaving me alone. It got to the point where we would get in a big, wicked fight over his inconsideration and selfishness, me sleeping on the couch, or just have sex and get it over with so he would leave me alone about it.

It got to the point where I resented him for it, and that really put me out of 'the mood'. Our relationship had a lot of issues, so there were other stressors involved, but our sex life went to the toilet. We broke up about a year ago, but I have sworn that I will NEVER 'take one for the team' again.

silvrdark · 12-09-2007, 10:06 PM

I completely understand you. Although my situation is sort of reversed (as in usually I am the one wanting sex), I totally empathize with the selfish assertion you were experiencing.

My guy does that sort of thing in other ways, whether it has to do with where he wants to eat dinner, or how he thinks I should feel about some issue.

mixedmedia · 12-10-2007, 02:26 AM

Just for the record, I did not mean to suggest that anyone not 'take it for the team' at any time. Just not to be pressured into sex if you don't want it in an unhappy relationship.

ItWasMe · 12-11-2007, 08:58 AM

I am willing to 'take one for the team' once in a while, if I am not in the mood. However, if I don't manage to get into the mood, hubby can tell. And that makes him not into it. He says there is more to sex than just the physical part.

CaliLivChick · 08-01-2010, 09:46 PM

Daddy wants sex at least once a day, and as of late, with all the crap that's been going on in my life, i just haven't been into it. But i take one for the team, because making Daddy happy makes me happy, and i end up getting into it. Along the lines of my previous answer of "I'm convincable", I suppose. It's just that Daddy doesn't ask. The joys of His being Master/Owner, He doesn't have to ask what i want, because it's about Him and His pleasure, so it takes one decision off my plate. =)

cadre · 08-02-2010, 07:40 PM

After I was raped I spent about a year 'taking one for the team' hoping I would end up getting into it. That didn't really work but at this point I'm doing a lot better, now it's my fiancé who need some persuading at times. On occasion I just won't be fully there but I am in the mood to please so I suppose that could be taking one for the team.

Sue · 08-02-2010, 08:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BlueEyes

I don't ever find myself "taking one for the team." Even if I'm not in the mood, it isn't hard to get me there.

This

But I'm actually never not in the mood

And, the BF is a "sufferer" of Sexomnia... so sometimes I can get in the mood in the middle of the night upon being awakened by... well, you know.

Lindy · 08-04-2010, 08:35 PM

Yeah, I've taken one for the team a time or two. And, although "the team" is nearly always willing, I've, on a few occasions, taken one from the team.

Although, with most guys, it's not that hard. I mean... uh.... There must be a better way to say that.

Lindy

Magnolia · 08-15-2010, 06:16 PM

sighhhhhh. my boyfriend hardly ever wants it and hardly ever asks for it .
I have quite the collection in my drawer . sighhhhh.

snowy · 08-17-2010, 07:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lindy

Yeah, I've taken one for the team a time or two. And, although "the team" is nearly always willing, I've, on a few occasions, taken one from the team.

Although, with most guys, it's not that hard. I mean... uh.... There must be a better way to say that.

Lindy

I asked my SO the question in the OP this morning, and he said, "Sure, sometimes."

"Really? Because I said I was convinceable."

"Oh. Yeah, that's probably a better way of putting it."

ZombieSquirrel · 08-17-2010, 08:21 PM

It's been a while since I've been in a live in relationship, but when I was, I wasn't the one who needed to be convinced.

creepysusie · 09-07-2010, 10:13 PM

All the time! I do because the times that my beau "takes one for the team" many more times than I have to for myself.

Sammalev · 09-07-2010, 11:32 PM

Hmm perhaps I am a rare case, but I think he normally takes one for the team more than I do..we have a very active sex life haha

MarionAP · 09-08-2010, 02:29 PM

I was the one with the higher sexual desires, I usually had to convince him. Men don't really 'take one for the team' very effectively though. Only works for us gals.

11-19-2007, 08:11 PM	#1 (permalink)
Nikki ~~~~~~~ Location: Charleston, SC	Do you ever take one for the team? This is an expression I use when my husband wants to have sex and I don't I still want him to be satisfied, but I am just not in the mood. So I allow him to have his way without worrying about pleasuring me, just himself. So when this happens I tell him "I am just going to take one for the team tonight." Any other team players?

11-19-2007, 10:01 PM	#4 (permalink)
snowy Kick Ass Kunoichi Location: Oregon	Yeah, typically I get into it though. __________________ If I am not better, at least I am different. --Jean-Jacques Rousseau

11-20-2007, 04:04 AM	#5 (permalink)
abaya Location: Iceland	My sex drive appears to be higher and less variable than ktspktsp's, so I "take one" whenever I can, even if I'm not in the mood. I don't generally orgasm with him unless it's during oral sex (fairly rare), so basically, when he feels like doing it, we have sex and he comes. So I guess it's always "one for the team," though I do feel pleasure just from the act of being intimate with him. __________________ And think not you can direct the course of Love; for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course. --Khalil Gibran

11-20-2007, 07:53 PM	#7 (permalink)
CaliLivChick In Transition Location: Sanford, FL (between Daytona and Orlando)	If I could get into the mood, but it would take some effort, I say "I'm convincible". Otherwise, enh... __________________ Don't trust anything that can bleed for a week and not die. Oh wait, that's me... nevermind... you can trust me.

11-22-2007, 12:21 AM	#9 (permalink)
Starkizzer Hi floor! Make me a samwich. Location: Ontario (in the stray cat complex)	I have to say that I do "take one for the team" from time to time. I'm a team player especially in the morning when I'm not quite awake but he's looking for some. Sometimes I'm so tired it all just seems like a dream and other times it wakes me up and gets my engine going. __________________ Frivolity, at the edge of a Moral Swamp, hears Hymn-Singing in the Distance and dons the Galoshes of Remorse. ~Edward Gorey

11-19-2007, 08:43 PM	#2 (permalink)
Jenna Psycho Location: Wisconsin	Yeah, occasionally. But I slowly get into usually.

11-19-2007, 09:10 PM	#3 (permalink)
Nikki ~~~~~~~ Location: Charleston, SC	Yes, for the most part that USUALLY happens for me also. However there are times when I just can't get into it for whatever reason.

11-24-2007, 06:57 PM	#10 (permalink)
BlueEyes Upright	I don't ever find myself "taking one for the team." Even if I'm not in the mood, it isn't hard to get me there.

11-25-2007, 09:13 PM	#11 (permalink)
sibylable Banned	just be yourself

11-26-2007, 08:51 PM	#12 (permalink)
Sweetpea Fade out Location: in love	I'm almost always up for sex 99.9 percent of the time and on the rare occasion I am not into sex because I might be feeling tired, we usually masturbate together to porn or a shared fantasy... Since we also share a girlfriend, We have sex so often either with her or together that he doesn't mind a day off here or there on the rare occasion I am really not feeling sexual. I think whatever works for you, works for you, I don't see any problem with taking it for the team... if he is also interested in doing so by getting you off when he may not be feeling sexual himself. __________________ Having a Pet Will Change Your Life! Looking for a great pet?! Click Here! "I am the Type of Person Who Can Get Away With A lot, Simply Because I Don't Ask Permission for the Privilege of Being Myself"

11-26-2007, 10:49 PM	#13 (permalink)
surferlove007 Junkie	On occasion, although I ended up having a UTI over the thanksgiving break and that was killing my sex drive. Those things are a real mood-killer. So sometimes I will when I'm not in the mood. Although like many of you ladies, once we start I enjoy myself, not always getting to the finish line but pretty close.

11-27-2007, 06:30 PM	#14 (permalink)
Juley Upright Location: Southeastern US	I'm a team player about 20% of the time. Sounds like a lot, but it doesn't really bother me.....As long as he comes through for me every time I'm NOT taking one for the team!

12-06-2007, 07:58 PM	#15 (permalink)
silvrdark Upright	Complicated question. I suppose I do "take one for the team" occasionally. My problem is one of timing, though. Here's what I mean: By 10 PM, I'm ready for sex... to be followed by bed. The problem is, my boyfriend has become a bit of an insomniac lately. He is in the middle of something at this point, and no amount of sexy coaxing on my part can pull him away. Eventually, as the hours roll past, I get so tired and HAVE to go to sleep. Sometime between 2 and 4, my boyfriend rolls up in bed and is finally in the mood. Meanwhile, I'm just drifting into deep sleep. I might be able to roll over and accommodate him, but at this point I rarely have the energy for anything really great.

12-07-2007, 02:49 AM	#16 (permalink)
mixedmedia has all her shots. Location: Florida	Generally, I am always up for sex. Granted, I am not in a live-in relationship right now, but... ...and I don't want to be a bummer. But I used to 'take one for the team' when I was in a very unhappy marriage...only to get him to shut up...and it always made me feel like shit. Moral of this story, ladies...if you are unhappy with your relationship and you don't feel like having sex? Don't, don't, don't do it. __________________ Most people go through life dreading they'll have a traumatic experience. Freaks were born with their trauma. They've already passed their test in life. They're aristocrats. - Diane Arbus PESSIMISM, n. A philosophy forced upon the convictions of the observer by the disheartening prevalence of the optimist with his scarecrow hope and his unsightly smile. - Ambrose Bierce

12-08-2007, 01:56 AM	#17 (permalink)
jen71au Upright Location: Australia	I am with mixed media here. The only time I have "taken one for the team" was when I was in an unhappy relationship.

12-08-2007, 12:30 PM	#18 (permalink)
Nikki ~~~~~~~ Location: Charleston, SC	Sorry but there are times when I have absolutely no interest in sex and there is nothing that will get me there, but I still want to please my husband. So that is when we have sex for his sake. Our marriage is VERY happy and he is my best friend.

12-08-2007, 02:49 PM	#19 (permalink)
jen71au Upright Location: Australia	I always had a great sex drive, I wasn't suggesting you were unhappy. I do have to say though, sometimes I wanted to make love, and other times I just wanted to fuck. Though I don't think that is what you were talking about in your first post. Sometimes it is hard for two people to have the same sex drive. Which is when I suppose, you would find the need to "take one for the team"

12-09-2007, 05:19 AM	#20 (permalink)
IdolGirl Tilted Location: Florida	I was in a relationship for 9 years, and constantly took one for the team. He wanted it 24/7, and I simply did not. Well, he didn't really get the hints of "I'm not in the mood", so I tried telling him point blank that I didn't want to have sex. So he says "ok, I'll leave you alone." Then, right on the heels of saying that, he would start spooning, rubbing my chest, etc..all the typical actions that are FAR from leaving me alone. It got to the point where we would get in a big, wicked fight over his inconsideration and selfishness, me sleeping on the couch, or just have sex and get it over with so he would leave me alone about it. It got to the point where I resented him for it, and that really put me out of 'the mood'. Our relationship had a lot of issues, so there were other stressors involved, but our sex life went to the toilet. We broke up about a year ago, but I have sworn that I will NEVER 'take one for the team' again.

12-09-2007, 10:06 PM	#21 (permalink)
silvrdark Upright	I completely understand you. Although my situation is sort of reversed (as in usually I am the one wanting sex), I totally empathize with the selfish assertion you were experiencing. My guy does that sort of thing in other ways, whether it has to do with where he wants to eat dinner, or how he thinks I should feel about some issue.

12-10-2007, 02:26 AM	#22 (permalink)
mixedmedia has all her shots. Location: Florida	Just for the record, I did not mean to suggest that anyone not 'take it for the team' at any time. Just not to be pressured into sex if you don't want it in an unhappy relationship. __________________ Most people go through life dreading they'll have a traumatic experience. Freaks were born with their trauma. They've already passed their test in life. They're aristocrats. - Diane Arbus PESSIMISM, n. A philosophy forced upon the convictions of the observer by the disheartening prevalence of the optimist with his scarecrow hope and his unsightly smile. - Ambrose Bierce

12-11-2007, 08:58 AM	#23 (permalink)
ItWasMe But You'll Never Prove It. Location: under your bed	I am willing to 'take one for the team' once in a while, if I am not in the mood. However, if I don't manage to get into the mood, hubby can tell. And that makes him not into it. He says there is more to sex than just the physical part. __________________ . . . . . . . . . . . . . . "Ok, no more truth-or-dare until somebody returns my underwear" ~ George Lopez I bake cookies just so I can lick the bowl. ~ ItWasMe

08-01-2010, 09:46 PM	#24 (permalink)
CaliLivChick In Transition Location: Sanford, FL (between Daytona and Orlando)	Daddy wants sex at least once a day, and as of late, with all the crap that's been going on in my life, i just haven't been into it. But i take one for the team, because making Daddy happy makes me happy, and i end up getting into it. Along the lines of my previous answer of "I'm convincable", I suppose. It's just that Daddy doesn't ask. The joys of His being Master/Owner, He doesn't have to ask what i want, because it's about Him and His pleasure, so it takes one decision off my plate. =) __________________ Don't trust anything that can bleed for a week and not die. Oh wait, that's me... nevermind... you can trust me.

08-02-2010, 07:40 PM	#25 (permalink)
cadre The Worst Influence Location: Arizona	After I was raped I spent about a year 'taking one for the team' hoping I would end up getting into it. That didn't really work but at this point I'm doing a lot better, now it's my fiancé who need some persuading at times. On occasion I just won't be fully there but I am in the mood to please so I suppose that could be taking one for the team. __________________ My life is one of those 'you had to be there' jokes.

08-04-2010, 08:35 PM	#27 (permalink)
Lindy Junkie	Yeah, I've taken one for the team a time or two. And, although "the team" is nearly always willing, I've, on a few occasions, taken one from the team. Although, with most guys, it's not that hard. I mean... uh.... There must be a better way to say that. Lindy

08-15-2010, 06:16 PM	#28 (permalink)
Magnolia Upright	sighhhhhh. my boyfriend hardly ever wants it and hardly ever asks for it . I have quite the collection in my drawer . sighhhhh.

09-07-2010, 10:13 PM	#31 (permalink)
creepysusie Tilted	All the time! I do because the times that my beau "takes one for the team" many more times than I have to for myself.

09-07-2010, 11:32 PM	#32 (permalink)
Sammalev Upright Location: Missouri	Hmm perhaps I am a rare case, but I think he normally takes one for the team more than I do..we have a very active sex life haha

09-08-2010, 02:29 PM	#33 (permalink)
MarionAP Upright Location: Ottawa, Canada	I was the one with the higher sexual desires, I usually had to convince him. Men don't really 'take one for the team' very effectively though. Only works for us gals.