serlindsipity

I only ask this out amusement.


Awhile ago I didnt want to know the number of guys I slept with. And now I am trying to remember. whats your thought on the subject? Do you have a number you are ashamed of, proud of, or just dont remember. Discuss.

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My third eye is my camera's lens.

*Nikki*

Um, I would be ashamed if I had a number too high to remember.

Are there seriously women who had sex with too many to remember?

I think my number is just fine, give or take a couple.

Sultana

since I can honestly keep count of the number on one hand, it doesn't really matter, I guess. Is it supposed to be some sort of purity-o-meter? Slut-o-meter? I like slutometer better.

Do guys care about such things at all? I don't mean for the wimmins, I mean for themselves.

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"Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath.
At night, the ice weasels come." -

Matt Groening

My goal? To fulfill my potential.

shesus

I couldn't imagine not keeping track. Although, I'll never forget a conversation I had with my cousin. She was about 16 I think...I was 12. We were floating on a raft in the ocean when she was telling me about sex. I asked her how many guys she had been with...she couldn't remember. I don't think she was making it up either. She would be quite high on Sultana's slutometer.

As fot me, I can count on one hand the number of people I've been with in the past. Life is too short to feel ashamed. I think ashamed could be for too many or too few.

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snowy

Like Sultana and shesus, I can count my number of partners on one hand, so it's hard not to know, and I can't imagine not knowing.

I am reminded of the SATC episode where Miranda got chlamydia. Her number was quite high--but considering my age and relative number of sex partners, if I stayed single until I was 38, I would have a number equal to that of Miranda's, and I certainly don't think of myself as a slut.

I had a friend I never thought of as a slut until she did something slutty. She had slept with a lot of guys, and that never bothered me, until she slept with a guy I had had a friends with benefits relationship with. What bothered me was that she had sworn up and down she would never sleep with him (she has kind of gotten around with our group of guys) out of all of our guy friends, yet she did. I just can't imagine disrespecting myself so much that I would let myself become the group bicycle.

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If I am not better, at least I am different. --Jean-Jacques Rousseau

abaya

Hey, if guys can get away with forgetting how many people they've slept with, why shouldn't women be allowed to do the same?

I mean, personally, I don't think it's a good idea for either men or women to sleep with a lot of people (mostly from a health perspective), but I apply that rule equally. I think it's unfair to expect someone to sleep with more (or fewer) people just because of what kind of genitalia they happen to have.

As for me, I can't really help but keep track, since the number is so low... for a long time, I only intended it to be 1 for the rest of my life. It ended up being 2, though not by my choice. And I'm really quite grateful for it being so low, for my own emotional and physical health.

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And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran

mixedmedia

I don't 'keep' count, but I just counted them.

Nine.

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maleficent

Cripes, I'm 42 years old and haven't had too many long term relationships -I know an approximate number but names and faces - you've got to be kidding...

I just know in the past few years - it's not been nearly enough...

NOT NEARLY ENOUGH!!! WAAAAAH!!!

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ShaniFaye

nope not one bit ashamed that I cant remember exactly. I was quite active 19-22 years ago....I enjoyed sex immensely

So yes, there are seriously women with too many to remember (20 years later), and its nothing to be ashamed of

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I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!!

ngdawg

I just counted...13. oops....14...guess I can't remember them all

noodle

sure.

1.

it's not too hard to remember.
for myself, it's the perfect number.
i don't think anyone should really feel ashamed.
the number is what it is.
high, low, even, odd, prime...
whatever.
it's the number that you could have slept with and chose not to that counts more sometimes....

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creepysusie

My number is relatively easy to remember because my boyfriend right now was my first. And since we have both been faithful to eachother, so the number remains the same.

I do have a friend that does take her "count" seriously because she claims that she has had too many for her age (i think her count is around the mid teens and she's 22). But in all honesty, she thought she was pursuing a real, long term relationship with each guy that did end up using her for sex.
One guy was such a bastard that didn't tell her that he was fooling around behind her back and gave her a sti (cured, but still).

Everyone makes poor judgements on people, but a count is arbitrary. I don't think a "slut-o-meter" is determined by the number of people you sleep with but rather, how does one use sex. If someone uses sex for reasons of power and manipulation, that's something completely different.

abaya

Nice one. Yeah, that definitely counts more for me. Especially considering the diseases I could have contracted from those fellows, ick.

__________________
And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran

Sultana

I like this thought.

__________________
"Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath.
At night, the ice weasels come." -

Matt Groening

My goal? To fulfill my potential.

little_tippler

i also can count on one hand. nuff said

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Whether we write or speak or do but look
We are ever unapparent. What we are
Cannot be transfused into word or book.
Our soul from us is infinitely far.
However much we give our thoughts the will
To be our soul and gesture it abroad,
Our hearts are incommunicable still.
In what we show ourselves we are ignored.
The abyss from soul to soul cannot be bridged
By any skill of thought or trick of seeming.
Unto our very selves we are abridged
When we would utter to our thought our being.
We are our dreams of ourselves, souls by gleams,
And each to each other dreams of others' dreams.

Fernando Pessoa, 1918

ShaniFaye

I am the female version of World's King lol

I think as long as you enjoy it....who cares how many it is?

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I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!!

abaya

And as long as you are staying safe, mentally and physically. I think that's my only concern for people (men and women) having a lot of partners. But I have no moral qualms about it, whatsoever. Go forth and fuck!

__________________
And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran

Searcher

I agree with creepysusie - why are women judged by the amount of sexual partners they may or may not have had? Surely as long as its safe - concensual and clean it should be all irrelevent....in todays modern world I find it fasinating how we still have so many double standards! Would a man ever get called a bike if he had lots of different partners??.....personally I dont think so! Everyones attitude towards sex and sexual matters vastly differ, its all in the persons perception, and perception is that persons reality...I know my perception on this matter and I personally would never judge a woman on her sexual practice or history unless it was putting her in danger....thereby possibly putting others in danger!!

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Carpe Diem.....an unexamined life is not worth living!

snowy

Quoted for truth.

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If I am not better, at least I am different. --Jean-Jacques Rousseau

cadre

Haha, I always thought that was me. I too cannot remember nor do I care.

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My life is one of those 'you had to be there' jokes.

mandy

well, i would be lying if i said i didnt care about the number...i do however feel that the "mistakes" i made in the past (yes...some of them were mistakes, unfortunately. And however enjoyable ) led me to not make them twice.

i dont feel ashamed of the amount of guys i've been with, i just sometimes feel sorry that i didn't wait for healer, like he did for me.

but the number will always remain one below ten from now on

wait, lets not discount the threesome i plan to have, with healer ofcourse

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The Imagination equips us to see a reality we have yet to create

creepysusie

EXACTLY!!! All these preconceptions of sex and our idea of the slut are complete social constructions from a European Victorian gender standard.

A woman is supposed to be good and pure, while a man can act as he pleases. A woman that has experienced sex for pleasure with someone other than her husband is a "fallen woman" and can never attain a label other than that of a prostitute.

If we look through history, European Christian ideas are the only ones that take sexuality to such a harsh level. Other cultures, such as indigenous ones of North America, are very open to sexuality. In some tribes, women exchanged sex for goods to gain economic freedom and power that is independant from her husband that was NOT considered prostitution. And isn't it ironic that in Indigenous cultures that women were considered to be the man's equal, if not greater?

The term slut is only used by people to disenfranchise them from sexual freedom and equality.

Jezzabelle

My number is 27 and I'm 24. Sure that may seem like a lot but I'm sure there are several of you out there that have had more than me.... Do what you enjoy as long as you're safe about it. If men can have several partners and talk about it and compare and high-five with their buddies so can women! A number shouldn't have any factor on whether or not you're a slut, it's all in how you act and represent yourself.

Jenna

Not sure if you mean sexual intercourse, if so, yes, I keep count. Only 3. But I think the only reason is because it's a small number, if it gets higher, probably not.

If you're talking about oral sex, and other sexual activities... then no, I don't keep count. I don't have a clue.

AllyM

Not nearly enough!
right now..... 7?

LadySin

I think this sums up what many have said, and I agree. I admit my number being more than I can count on one hand, and you know what? I dont care. I had fun, and was safe about what I did. So no biggie...

CaliLivChick

Are we counting men AND women? Because I was around 15 guys before I started swinging... now I think I'm around 45 or 50 men and women.

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Don't trust anything that can bleed for a week and not die. Oh wait, that's me... nevermind... you can trust me.

creepysusie

I agree that men are judged by women, but there is a greater stigma around the "slut" than there is around the "player"

Example, look at ads for VD in the 50s. This isn't a new phenomenon

Sweetpea

I think everyone keeps count to some extent. I know I do, but I think of my former partners as experiences not just a number.

3 men and one beautiful woman is my 'count' for sexual experiences. Currently I have both my husband and my girlfriend.

I do have to agree that there is a stigma attatched to people, men and women with high counts... but I think if safety was used during all experiences it doesn't really matter the number... you can have had unsafe sex with just one person your whole life and get an std. That does not change society's stigma though...

sweetpea

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"I am the Type of Person Who Can Get Away With A lot, Simply Because I Don't Ask Permission for the Privilege of Being Myself"

jewels

I used to keep count before my first marriage.

I kept a journal about every relationship and encounter I had which I planned on sharing with my daughters when I got older (about NOW!).

Unfortunately, my psycho ex destroyed it years ago.

Since my first marriage, I don't need to count. I'm a lot more selective these days.

TotalMILF

Four, lol. It may go up if xepherys and I have a threesome (a fantasy for both of us). I'm sure my count would be higher if I hadn't found xeph when I was 20.

I agree with most women on here: if you're safe about it, who cares what your count is?

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"I'm sorry, all I heard was blah blah blah, I'm a dirty tramp."

genuinegirly

I like this sentiment.

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"Sometimes I have to remember that things are brought to me for a reason, either for my own lessons or for the benefit of others." Cynthetiq

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silvrdark

Hmm.. Less than 20... more than 10... If I had to try and count, I'd say 16? Half of those were encounters in my young/stupid phase. Those encounters taught me something, though, and I wouldn't change a thing.

It does amaze me, to this day, the double standard. I couldn't tell anyone I personally know (Even my boyfriend of 5 years) about the number of partners I've had... not without being judged.

It makes me so angry that society makes women feel guilty about sex. It is unhealthy and unfair.

Eowyn_Vala

One not including the threesome incident, but that was with my husband. He was my first.

Although there have been a few times I wished the number was higher. Not excessively so, but there are days when I wonder if I'm missing anything since I've really only had the one partner. Possibly I am the only one who feels like this. I know waiting is very important to some people. But I have to echo that being a slut is in how you act and treat others, how you view sex.

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