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Old 10-08-2007, 06:53 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Do you keep count?

I only ask this out amusement.


Awhile ago I didnt want to know the number of guys I slept with. And now I am trying to remember. whats your thought on the subject? Do you have a number you are ashamed of, proud of, or just dont remember. Discuss.
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Old 10-08-2007, 08:12 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Um, I would be ashamed if I had a number too high to remember.

Are there seriously women who had sex with too many to remember?

I think my number is just fine, give or take a couple.
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Old 10-08-2007, 08:59 PM   #3 (permalink)
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since I can honestly keep count of the number on one hand, it doesn't really matter, I guess. Is it supposed to be some sort of purity-o-meter? Slut-o-meter? I like slutometer better.

Do guys care about such things at all? I don't mean for the wimmins, I mean for themselves.
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Old 10-08-2007, 09:13 PM   #4 (permalink)
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I couldn't imagine not keeping track. Although, I'll never forget a conversation I had with my cousin. She was about 16 I think...I was 12. We were floating on a raft in the ocean when she was telling me about sex. I asked her how many guys she had been with...she couldn't remember. I don't think she was making it up either. She would be quite high on Sultana's slutometer.

As fot me, I can count on one hand the number of people I've been with in the past. Life is too short to feel ashamed. I think ashamed could be for too many or too few.
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Old 10-08-2007, 09:20 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Like Sultana and shesus, I can count my number of partners on one hand, so it's hard not to know, and I can't imagine not knowing.

I am reminded of the SATC episode where Miranda got chlamydia. Her number was quite high--but considering my age and relative number of sex partners, if I stayed single until I was 38, I would have a number equal to that of Miranda's, and I certainly don't think of myself as a slut.

I had a friend I never thought of as a slut until she did something slutty. She had slept with a lot of guys, and that never bothered me, until she slept with a guy I had had a friends with benefits relationship with. What bothered me was that she had sworn up and down she would never sleep with him (she has kind of gotten around with our group of guys) out of all of our guy friends, yet she did. I just can't imagine disrespecting myself so much that I would let myself become the group bicycle.
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Old 10-09-2007, 05:16 AM   #6 (permalink)
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by *Nikki*
Um, I would be ashamed if I had a number too high to remember.
Hey, if guys can get away with forgetting how many people they've slept with, why shouldn't women be allowed to do the same?

I mean, personally, I don't think it's a good idea for either men or women to sleep with a lot of people (mostly from a health perspective), but I apply that rule equally. I think it's unfair to expect someone to sleep with more (or fewer) people just because of what kind of genitalia they happen to have.

As for me, I can't really help but keep track, since the number is so low... for a long time, I only intended it to be 1 for the rest of my life. It ended up being 2, though not by my choice. And I'm really quite grateful for it being so low, for my own emotional and physical health.
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Old 10-09-2007, 05:33 AM   #7 (permalink)
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I don't 'keep' count, but I just counted them.

Nine.
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Old 10-09-2007, 05:43 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Cripes, I'm 42 years old and haven't had too many long term relationships -I know an approximate number but names and faces - you've got to be kidding...

I just know in the past few years - it's not been nearly enough...

NOT NEARLY ENOUGH!!! WAAAAAH!!!
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Old 10-09-2007, 06:13 AM   #9 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by *Nikki*
Um, I would be ashamed if I had a number too high to remember.

Are there seriously women who had sex with too many to remember?

I think my number is just fine, give or take a couple.

nope not one bit ashamed that I cant remember exactly. I was quite active 19-22 years ago....I enjoyed sex immensely

So yes, there are seriously women with too many to remember (20 years later), and its nothing to be ashamed of
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Old 10-09-2007, 04:09 PM   #10 (permalink)
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I just counted...13. oops....14...guess I can't remember them all
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Old 10-09-2007, 04:32 PM   #11 (permalink)
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sure.

1.

it's not too hard to remember.
for myself, it's the perfect number.
i don't think anyone should really feel ashamed.
the number is what it is.
high, low, even, odd, prime...
whatever.
it's the number that you could have slept with and chose not to that counts more sometimes....
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Old 10-09-2007, 11:39 PM   #12 (permalink)
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My number is relatively easy to remember because my boyfriend right now was my first. And since we have both been faithful to eachother, so the number remains the same.

I do have a friend that does take her "count" seriously because she claims that she has had too many for her age (i think her count is around the mid teens and she's 22). But in all honesty, she thought she was pursuing a real, long term relationship with each guy that did end up using her for sex.
One guy was such a bastard that didn't tell her that he was fooling around behind her back and gave her a sti (cured, but still).

Everyone makes poor judgements on people, but a count is arbitrary. I don't think a "slut-o-meter" is determined by the number of people you sleep with but rather, how does one use sex. If someone uses sex for reasons of power and manipulation, that's something completely different.
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Old 10-10-2007, 01:25 AM   #13 (permalink)
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fredweena
it's the number that you could have slept with and chose not to that counts more sometimes....
Nice one. Yeah, that definitely counts more for me. Especially considering the diseases I could have contracted from those fellows, ick.
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Old 10-10-2007, 04:45 AM   #14 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by creepysusie

Everyone makes poor judgements on people, but a count is arbitrary. I don't think a "slut-o-meter" is determined by the number of people you sleep with but rather, how does one use sex. If someone uses sex for reasons of power and manipulation, that's something completely different.
I like this thought.
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Old 10-10-2007, 05:29 AM   #15 (permalink)
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i also can count on one hand. nuff said
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Old 10-10-2007, 08:08 AM   #16 (permalink)
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I am the female version of World's King lol

I think as long as you enjoy it....who cares how many it is?
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Old 10-10-2007, 08:09 AM   #17 (permalink)
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ShaniFaye
I think as long as you enjoy it....who cares how many it is?
And as long as you are staying safe, mentally and physically. I think that's my only concern for people (men and women) having a lot of partners. But I have no moral qualms about it, whatsoever. Go forth and fuck!
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Old 10-11-2007, 08:34 AM   #18 (permalink)
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I agree with creepysusie - why are women judged by the amount of sexual partners they may or may not have had? Surely as long as its safe - concensual and clean it should be all irrelevent....in todays modern world I find it fasinating how we still have so many double standards! Would a man ever get called a bike if he had lots of different partners??.....personally I dont think so! Everyones attitude towards sex and sexual matters vastly differ, its all in the persons perception, and perception is that persons reality...I know my perception on this matter and I personally would never judge a woman on her sexual practice or history unless it was putting her in danger....thereby possibly putting others in danger!!
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Old 10-11-2007, 09:54 AM   #19 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by abaya
And as long as you are staying safe, mentally and physically. I think that's my only concern for people (men and women) having a lot of partners. But I have no moral qualms about it, whatsoever. Go forth and fuck!
Quoted for truth.
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Old 10-11-2007, 04:34 PM   #20 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ShaniFaye
I am the female version of World's King lol

I think as long as you enjoy it....who cares how many it is?
Haha, I always thought that was me. I too cannot remember nor do I care.
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Old 10-12-2007, 04:33 AM   #21 (permalink)
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well, i would be lying if i said i didnt care about the number...i do however feel that the "mistakes" i made in the past (yes...some of them were mistakes, unfortunately. And however enjoyable ) led me to not make them twice.

i dont feel ashamed of the amount of guys i've been with, i just sometimes feel sorry that i didn't wait for healer, like he did for me.

but the number will always remain one below ten from now on

wait, lets not discount the threesome i plan to have, with healer ofcourse
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Old 10-12-2007, 10:36 AM   #22 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Searcher
why are women judged by the amount of sexual partners they may or may not have had? Surely as long as its safe - concensual and clean it should be all irrelevent....in todays modern world I find it fasinating how we still have so many double standards! Would a man ever get called a bike if he had lots of different partners??
EXACTLY!!! All these preconceptions of sex and our idea of the slut are complete social constructions from a European Victorian gender standard.

A woman is supposed to be good and pure, while a man can act as he pleases. A woman that has experienced sex for pleasure with someone other than her husband is a "fallen woman" and can never attain a label other than that of a prostitute.

If we look through history, European Christian ideas are the only ones that take sexuality to such a harsh level. Other cultures, such as indigenous ones of North America, are very open to sexuality. In some tribes, women exchanged sex for goods to gain economic freedom and power that is independant from her husband that was NOT considered prostitution. And isn't it ironic that in Indigenous cultures that women were considered to be the man's equal, if not greater?

The term slut is only used by people to disenfranchise them from sexual freedom and equality.
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Old 10-19-2007, 10:52 PM   #23 (permalink)
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My number is 27 and I'm 24. Sure that may seem like a lot but I'm sure there are several of you out there that have had more than me.... Do what you enjoy as long as you're safe about it. If men can have several partners and talk about it and compare and high-five with their buddies so can women! A number shouldn't have any factor on whether or not you're a slut, it's all in how you act and represent yourself.
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Old 10-22-2007, 06:21 PM   #24 (permalink)
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Not sure if you mean sexual intercourse, if so, yes, I keep count. Only 3. But I think the only reason is because it's a small number, if it gets higher, probably not.

If you're talking about oral sex, and other sexual activities... then no, I don't keep count. I don't have a clue.
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Old 10-23-2007, 04:06 PM   #25 (permalink)
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Not nearly enough!
right now..... 7?
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Old 10-23-2007, 07:27 PM   #26 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jezzabelle
My number is 27 and I'm 24. Sure that may seem like a lot but I'm sure there are several of you out there that have had more than me.... Do what you enjoy as long as you're safe about it. If men can have several partners and talk about it and compare and high-five with their buddies so can women! A number shouldn't have any factor on whether or not you're a slut, it's all in how you act and represent yourself.

I think this sums up what many have said, and I agree. I admit my number being more than I can count on one hand, and you know what? I dont care. I had fun, and was safe about what I did. So no biggie...
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Old 11-20-2007, 07:58 PM   #27 (permalink)
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Are we counting men AND women? Because I was around 15 guys before I started swinging... now I think I'm around 45 or 50 men and women.
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Old 11-20-2007, 11:54 PM   #28 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by analog
You say that like men aren't also judged for it- especially by women.

And believe me, for every 1 guy who calls "slut" on a chick's number, there are 2 chicks doing the same thing. Women are way worse about judging other women than men are, in my experience.
I agree that men are judged by women, but there is a greater stigma around the "slut" than there is around the "player"

Example, look at ads for VD in the 50s. This isn't a new phenomenon

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Old 11-21-2007, 12:12 PM   #29 (permalink)
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I think everyone keeps count to some extent. I know I do, but I think of my former partners as experiences not just a number.

3 men and one beautiful woman is my 'count' for sexual experiences. Currently I have both my husband and my girlfriend.

I do have to agree that there is a stigma attatched to people, men and women with high counts... but I think if safety was used during all experiences it doesn't really matter the number... you can have had unsafe sex with just one person your whole life and get an std. That does not change society's stigma though...

sweetpea
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Old 12-02-2007, 10:44 AM   #30 (permalink)
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I used to keep count before my first marriage.

I kept a journal about every relationship and encounter I had which I planned on sharing with my daughters when I got older (about NOW!).

Unfortunately, my psycho ex destroyed it years ago.

Since my first marriage, I don't need to count. I'm a lot more selective these days.
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Old 12-03-2007, 03:04 PM   #31 (permalink)
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Four, lol. It may go up if xepherys and I have a threesome (a fantasy for both of us). I'm sure my count would be higher if I hadn't found xeph when I was 20.

I agree with most women on here: if you're safe about it, who cares what your count is?
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Old 12-03-2007, 05:18 PM   #32 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fredweena
it's the number that you could have slept with and chose not to that counts more sometimes....
I like this sentiment.
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Old 12-03-2007, 09:21 PM   #33 (permalink)
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Hmm.. Less than 20... more than 10... If I had to try and count, I'd say 16? Half of those were encounters in my young/stupid phase. Those encounters taught me something, though, and I wouldn't change a thing.

It does amaze me, to this day, the double standard. I couldn't tell anyone I personally know (Even my boyfriend of 5 years) about the number of partners I've had... not without being judged.

It makes me so angry that society makes women feel guilty about sex. It is unhealthy and unfair.
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Old 12-06-2007, 04:59 PM   #34 (permalink)
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One not including the threesome incident, but that was with my husband. He was my first.

Although there have been a few times I wished the number was higher. Not excessively so, but there are days when I wonder if I'm missing anything since I've really only had the one partner. Possibly I am the only one who feels like this. I know waiting is very important to some people. But I have to echo that being a slut is in how you act and treat others, how you view sex.
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