genuinegirly

Wow! You guys dug up my old thread. That's an odd feeling.

Maybird - Hmmmm. Raunchy. Maybe that's why many women are reserved when it comes to discussing sex - they fear any discussion will make them appear indecent.

Meditrina - No one to talk to IRL? Oh, honey you've found the jackpot here at TFP. I do hope you pick up the skills necesssary to openly discuss things with your family. Seems a very worthy goal.

Jewels - So sad that your mother didn't realize you weren't comfortable speaking with her on that kind of level. I wonder what else she missed out on.

Velvet - It's true! Guys (usually) don't have any shame. I wonder why their culture is so open to sex talk but among women it's not so much.

__________________
"Sometimes I have to remember that things are brought to me for a reason, either for my own lessons or for the benefit of others." Cynthetiq

"violence is no more or less real than non-violence." roachboy

velvet

It's just that we are brought up as not sexual beings, specially at a young age. Like you don't get to hear it from parents that much. Some parents don't tell you anything, they're not open about it. So you feel it's best not talk about it with people around you or parents. It makes things uncomfortable because you never been open to the topic, so you don't know how it feels. It's like a taboo for us women sometimes to talk about sexuality, which I think is a shame. With guys it's like a whole different thing, they get to hear at a young age from parents and peer groups. Plus society tells them it's an ok thing. If a women is sexually active she might be considered a slut or whore and some females believe that.

redjello

What do you consider to be rational?

jewels

Doesn't the preceding sentence make it clear?
Not uncomfortably or distorted would seem to be rational. Don't you agree that lots of women are hung up about sex?

__________________
We are always more anxious to be distinguished for a talent which we do not possess, than to be praised for the fifteen which we do possess.
Mark Twain

redjello

The people who "opened the floodgates" were perceived by the OP to give too much information, but candidness is required for sexual discussion if one wants to learn. What is taboo to one is not taboo to another, especially when another has more sexual experience. Inevitably, sex is connected to one's personal life.

This is what threw me about the "rational" part.

I admire the post WWII scientist, Alfred Kinsey, who surveyed hundreds of men and women for his own clinical research about human sexual behavior. He had to be open to all attitudes about sex in order to learn about it. This taboo subject (for 1948) had never been explored in American science, and in that conservative era, it caused enormous outrage and controversy, but it revolutionized the knowledge of human sexuality as we know it today.

Falconclaw240

Oh well i wasn't going to either till i saw you say this, it just seemed like i didn't have much to add being a virgin. Though on that topic, it is just the way life has panned out thus far. my mom was always very open and scientific about explaining everything, and it was as non awkward talking to her on the subject as it can possibly be with one's parents.
I talk about the subject quite openly though, in Rl too, as best i can without pretending past my sphere of knowledge. I want to know all i can, because when i finally do i damn well want to be good at it

anti fishstick

i have a new group of friends in their mid thirties and they all love discussing sex! I am not offended by these discussions but I don't tend to join in. I still feel too inhibited, either socially, or just think i don't have as much experience as them, or both. but they all say i should look forward to sex in my thirties cos it gets better

i haven't had sex in over a month... I miss it, but I know lack of sex is just a symptom of something, and not the actual problem in a relationship. other than feeling inhibited to contribute, I love talking/hearing about sex! It's fun. I also love to masturbate. But it's interesting, for all of the sex talk i hear from other women, I have NEVER heard discussion of masturbation. Has anyone else noticed this or is it just me? I think it seems more taboo among women to pleasure oneself, or to admit to it...

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And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.
~Anais Nin

abaya

As is often the case, I think it depends on the woman. I have girl friends with whom I can talk very openly about masturbation--hey, I gave one of my best friends a vibrator for Christmas one year, since she was painfully single after a bad break-up that fall. She was overjoyed, and we joked about how she wore it out within a few months.

I have another good friend with whom I would never, ever discuss anything remotely close to the subject... she was alarmed enough to learn that I was having sex before marriage (she's very conservative in those aspects), so I didn't say anything more than that. I've been tempted to get her a vibrator, too... since god knows she needs to loosen up!... but have resisted temptation thus far, because it would make her so profoundly uncomfortable, she would probably never speak to me again.

__________________
And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran

unacceptablyme

I was a virgin until 23, but I'm glad that I have educated myself about my sexuality well before that. I'm open about sex. My gal friends know they can talk to me about it although I don't really initiate sex conversations. My parents have never talked about sex with me, maybe they trust that I'll find out for myself. But I'm determined not to let my younger sister find out all by herself. Sisterly sex talks will be informative and fun!

genuinegirly

I wonder how much younger your little sister is. Do you think she'll be receptive to the conversation?

I've never had much of a coversation with my older sister about sex. She has always been shy about the topic among family members.

__________________
"Sometimes I have to remember that things are brought to me for a reason, either for my own lessons or for the benefit of others." Cynthetiq

"violence is no more or less real than non-violence." roachboy