your age - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Nancy · 12-13-2005, 05:21 AM

I've been trying to figure out for years what the deal with women and their age is - why are there some women who won't admit their real age? And why is it considered as ungentlemanlike manner when a man asks about it?

Do any of you ladies refrain from telling your age when someone asks you?

ngdawg · 12-13-2005, 05:31 AM

I tell if I'm asked or if age is a discussion subject. I prefer the 'guess' approach because it's a great source of ego-boosting and entertainment for me.

I don't know of anyone who lies about it though.

Sultana · 12-13-2005, 07:45 AM

I don't like to give my age because I really feel that people have preconceived notions of certain ages/numbers...ideas they wouldn't have if they didn't have a number to assign to me.

I can't tell you how many times I've gotten a really surprised, then knowing look and an, "Ahhh, ok" once I've shared my age. I know I look younger, and that's all well and good (didn't much appreciate it in my 20's, lol, looking like a teen). But I'd much rather folks base their perception of me on how I *am*, rather than on a collection of preconceived notions based on a generalization of statistics. It seems that women have this applied much more strongly to them than men. I think it goes to the percieved attractiveness thing. Similar to asking questions about weight and natural hair color, lol (I can't believe how many men at work have asked me if I color my hair!?! WTF happened to manners?).

Another part of this is that as a performer, I get jobs based on my appearance. That's just how it is. Sadly, most prospective employers are way more influenced by how I may look in costume than the 12+ years I've spent studying dance and everything that goes with it. If in their mind a woman being over 30 is a negative, I may not get that job, even if to them and to the general public I don't "look" like that.

However, I'm not ashamed of my age, and I have been more likely to tell my age specifically, because I know I appreciate it when I see a lovely woman and know that attractiveness does not end at 29, 39, or 49. I like to imagine that it could go a little tiny way in ending the idea that as a woman you have to be in your very early 20s to be at the peak of your game, whatever your game may be.

maleficent · 12-13-2005, 12:55 PM

I honestly dont care about my age.. (wow i said tht with a straight face too ) I dont understand why the question gets asked... and why it's relavant in many situations....

OK, so I'm in a pissy mood today, and wasn't in the mood for an little twit on IM.. but it proves my point - first thing he asks is my age... Why was it relavant? I can understand if my doctor asks... but why is it the business of anyone else to know how old I am...

Cut me open and count the rings if you wanna know... but just asking the question.... Why does it matter?

Sweetpea · 12-13-2005, 01:23 PM

Well, the reason why so many women feel they have to lie about their age is, i think, because society (american society at least) focuses on the 'fact' that "youth= power, intelligence and beauty" and that 'getting older' is somehow something to be avoided. Probably just a ploy to sell all their surgeries, creams and products to avoid that 'pesky' thing called aging... it keeps the beauty market pulling in billions a year doesn't it??

Personally, i think getting older is a good thing, because that means i lived another year and had another year of experiences.... and anyone who feels they have to lie about their age, is in an essence lying about who they are and not embracing themselves. however, if a woman wants to lie about her age... that's her perogative and i'm not going to hold it against her, allot of people cave to society ideals in weight, appearance and career, it's only natural that many people cave to and want to reflect the ideal in age too....

However, i think getting older is a beautiful thing and something to be proud of.

Sweetpea

Gilda · 12-13-2005, 05:44 PM

I think for most it's probably a matter of curiosity and a way to test your perceptions. We all make certain judgements about others upon first meeting them. We tend to determine what sex, age, and often ethnicity a person is as a way of determining how to interact with them. In most cases, age is a pretty general category such as child, young woman, etc.

Knowing age may in some cases cement the perception of a person being in the desired category. Perhaps not providing an age or lying about it helps to project the perception that one is younger than one's actual age, which, as ngdawg points out, can be flattering.

I do find it amusing when people try to guess my age, as they very often are very low. I still occasionally get carded when entering a club, though Grace, more than five years younger, never does.

Gilda

genuinegirly · 12-13-2005, 10:57 PM

I have been guilty of just letting people guess my age, rather than telling them straight out. For a good many years there, it seemed like a private matter. Mainly because I was living in a strange sort of denial. An example of this mentality: at age 19, I dated a man who was 27. We related very well, and the age question didn't come up for some time. When he did find out my age, he was scared away. Also, potential employers tend to offer less pay when they know my age, as opposed to just looking at my qualifications. I find a great deal of age discrimination toward my friends as well. It is as though 40-something adults have some sort of hidden belief that anyone under the age of 32 is an irresponsible imbicile that isn't worth their time or energy.

So there you go.
I prefer, under most situations, to keep my age to myself and let people decide for themselves how they will treat me.

la petite moi · 12-15-2005, 09:32 PM

I could care less if people asked how old I am. It's slightly irritating when someone says, "WOW 19!! You're such a youngin'!" and then treats me like a 15 year old from then on, though.

snowy · 12-16-2005, 03:19 AM

The only thing that irritates me about age is that people regularly assume (people who do not know me very well) that I am younger than I am (though this bodes well for the future). I practically have a streak of gray hair already at 23; surely anyone can see that.

That said, I'm in no hurry to get older, simply because I want to enjoy every minute I'm alive. I've got enough responsibility, and I don't need more right now. Wisdom would be nice, but one has to work up to it. Once I get older, I certainly won't feel badly for it. No, I think I'll appreciate that too. One has to appreciate every season they go through; otherwise life is a waste of time.

Atropos4 · 01-07-2006, 02:37 PM

I usually don't mind when asked. Unless I can tell they are asking because I look to young, then it bugs me. I sometimes am pretty blunt and aske Why, if they can give me a good enough reason I'll tell them or make them guess first because ngdawg is right, it's fun. I'm 25 by the way

sexymama · 01-08-2006, 08:41 PM

I'm 43 and proud of it! I declare my age with pride when asked and only play the guessing game with my students. The reason I play with them is to help them narrow it down with less then that and more then that answers. I like that I'm old enough to have some "wisdom" and young enough to have a 7 month old child. I feel sexier now then I ever have in my life. Why would I not be proud of who I am? Phweuh on society!

(Off topic -- when I saw your avatar Gilda I wondered if the same artist did it that did Sweetpea's. Then I read your custom title -- very cool!)

Lead543 · 01-09-2006, 01:05 AM

I think women who won't admit their age have issues with aging. My mom tells people her age, she doesn't had it, but she also doesn't dye her hair to cover up greys and she doesn't use "age defying" creams. I think a woman's desire to tell how old she is is dependent on her attitude towards aging.

I think asking someones age is better than assuming. We've all seen 10 years younger I'm sure and the way the participants feel when they're mistaken for being 20 years older than they are.

Guinevere · 01-19-2006, 09:12 AM

I didn't hesitate to tell my age until...........I turned 50. No one believes me anyway since I look years younger but honestly, when I say 50, people act differently towards me (shocked, pleasantly surprised, whatever). I've been called a MILF for years which is a great ego boost too and yes, I dye my hair to color the gray and use moisturisers to keep my skin looking younger. Do I have trouble with aging? Only physically. Honestly, who wouldn't? It's damn easy to say you don't worry about aging when you're in your 20s, 30s and 40s. I'm trying to relax about the whole age thing but it's funny how that attitude creeps up on ya and bites you in the not so firm ass when you least expect it.

raeanna74 · 01-19-2006, 09:26 AM

I don't know why it's supposed to be ungentlemanly to ask a woman's age. I don't lie about my age, never have, even when I was younger and wanted to be older. Now I'm 31 (will be 32 in a month) and still I tell the truth. I figure that if the person is enjoying talking to me then they like me. If they stop talking to me simply because of a number than they're not worth my time. My age has nothing to do with my relation to others. It's a similar level of maturity and our common interests that should encourage our relationship. When I was 19 I was engaged to a man who was 29. What caused us to break up had nothing to do with age and everything to do with his lack of relationship skills. He was a control freak and felt a woman should not call the man or initiate any contact herself. I am independant and unafraid of making even the first move. We didn't click but not because of age.

Last year was hard on my physically and I saw rapid changes and aging in my body that have been a stuggle emotionally to deal with. Just last week I noticed frown wrinkles. That bothered me but not the fact that I had wrinkles so much as the fact that they were FROWN lines instead of crows feet or something that you tend to get more with smiling.

I don't want to grow old, not because of people's perception of it but because I'm seeing less and less time to do the things I want and to enjoy life. I'm afraid of being crippled and frail before I'm done doing those things. I'm afraid of becoming so fat that I'm like my mother, needing blood pressure meds and in pain just walking. I'm not afraid of being older, I'm afraid of ailments that are more age related. I'm not ready to stop doing. I've got time but I see that time is waning.

serlindsipity · 01-19-2006, 01:30 PM

i think to lie about your age is to fear how many years you have lived and perhaps how lttle you have to show for it?

Nancy · 01-20-2006, 12:58 AM

^^ Thoughtful answers everybody!

Hmm I can understand why some refrain from revealing their age in fear of being treated differently.

Do you suppose that is has something to do with vanity too? I don't think I've ever encountered a man who had second thoughts about revealing his age.. Do you think that us women have more problems about the aging part than men?

Sultana · 01-20-2006, 07:37 AM

In this day and age when in a movie they'll pair Sean Connery and Catherine Zeta Jones (and that movie is at least 5 years old) and no one says "boo", yet if Susan Sarandon is paired with someone like, I don't know, Brad Pitt or Keanu Reeves, the movie is suddenly ALL ABOUT May-December romance....
Look at TV sitcoms (granted, neither TV not movies accurately reflect real life, but still), how many fat, not attractive TV hubbies are there paired with hot, attractive, bodies-to-die-for TV wives?

Overall and in general, I don't think women judge men as highly on their appearance/age as men judge women. And age is a huge part of that.

maleficent · 01-20-2006, 08:39 AM

Not all that long ago, Excellence hair color (A hair color that advertises how good it is for coloring gray) had an had print ad campaign with Andie McDowell in it (I beleive the ad campain still runs). The ad had a close up on Andie's face, and around her eyes were very very visible wrinkles... It honestly amazed me that they weren't retouched - the wrinkles didn't make her look old, or haggard or ugly - -they added just a little bit of character to her face - she's not 25 anymore - why does she need to look like it (she's more beautiful now than she was at 25)

But it seems that's not the norm in advertising... it's all young beautiful women who've never had a wrinkle in their life advertising anti-aging creams...

I've lost my train of thought and will start ranting in a moment - so I'll stop...

There's definitely a bias between men getting older and women getting older... Distinguished is a word often used to describe an older man... I'm not so sure that there's an equivelent for women... it seems that women are either sexy or they are nothing... and older women aren't always seen as sexy...

Beccarain · 01-21-2006, 08:39 PM

I really enjoyed reading everyone's posts on this topic!

I have always been honest about my age but I admit to letting people guess because they always guess lots younger than I truly am (and yeah, that is a bit of a boost!) The only time being honest about my age has met with somewhat negative reactions is that younger people do tend to treat me differently once they know my true age (I just turned 40 last week but I look mid-20's).

Unfortunately, there does seem to be a bias in society against "older" women, which is really silly.

I look and feel better now than I did in my 20's; I am more sure of myself than at any other time in my life. To me, though, "age" really is a state of mind; that is far more important than any chronological number of years a person has been on this planet.

Sharon · 03-25-2006, 01:14 PM

I don't mind being asked my age per se, I just don't like being asked my age when it's obvious that I'm being sized up based on it. If someone is just curious, that's cool with me. It's a bit like someone asking how much you make... ask it the wrong way and I'll get offended, if it's in context (for example, a friend who's looking to find another place to work), it doesn't even occur to me that it might be offensive.

TivaBella · 03-28-2006, 09:28 PM

If someone asks me how old I am, I tell them. I'm 39. Anyone who will judge me based soley on my age, is not someone whos opinion I would concern myself with.

Besides, it's really nice when people say "You're kidding, I thought you were, like, 33 or something". (it happens occasionally)

I think I just contradicted myself a bit there on some level. Sorry, I'm old - I get confused easily.

maleficent · 03-29-2006, 04:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sharon

a bit like someone asking how much you make... .

People actually would have the nerve to ask that question? And actually expect an answer?

TotalMILF · 03-29-2006, 12:00 PM

I make people guess how old I am first, hehe. I'm 23, for all those who care

Babes · 03-29-2006, 02:44 PM

HAHAHA!!! I used to care because I was 15 and I didn't want the older more mature guys to ignore me because I was too young.

I always told the truth though because I've looked 20 since I turned 12. I didn't want to get anyone in trouble, but I didn't want to get ignored. I know it's childish, but I was a child.

It's not only an issue for girls though. I know a guy who wouldn't reveal his age at all. My dad is a highschool teacher and he's told his students that he's 53 since he was 26. Only now he'll have to move it back because it's getting close to the truth.

Sharon · 03-29-2006, 04:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by maleficent

People actually would have the nerve to ask that question? And actually expect an answer?

I'm constantly amazed at some of the questions people have the gall to ask or say. Some of the classics include:

But what do you look like without makeup? (jealous partner of a customer who had started a conversation with me)
Wow, you've gained weight haven't you? (ex boyfriend's mother)
So what kind of underwear are you wearing? (perfectly sober guy who had just asked me what my name was)
How did your last boyfriend break up with you? (the same guy as the previous example)

Sometimes I have to think a moment - did I really just hear that?

dd3953 · 06-23-2006, 10:05 AM

I have seen it in movies, read it in books, watched it happen while I sat at work, or a park, or a bus.
A woman would be asked her age & she would refuse to tell.

I am only 24, so I don't have a problem telling my age. But I guess if I was older would be able to understand the reason for it. But I don't wanna wait until I am older . . . . . So do you tell your age? Why or why not?

I looked for any posts that may be similar & didn't find one, if there is one out there, let me know, thanks.

water_bug · 06-23-2006, 10:22 AM

I am 26...I guess when I am older telling my age will be a problem, I don't know. But for now, I don't care. I'm 26, I'm 26, I'm 26!!! Yeah, it is a stereotype that women refuse to tell their age, but I have no problem.

MySexyAssJ · 06-23-2006, 10:58 AM

i am 23 years old. i tell my age because right now it doesn't really matter to me if people know or not. a lot of the time people don't believe me when i tell them how old i am.. they all think i'm 16 or 17. maybe when i'm older.. i might lie, but only because i'll hopefully look younger than i am... like by the time i'm 45, i can lie and say i'm 35

noodle · 06-23-2006, 01:40 PM

I'll be thirty in two months. I chose the last option, only because sometimes it comes up without a direct question. I could care less. I still get carded for lottery tickets and alcohol.

raeanna74 · 06-23-2006, 03:38 PM

I'm 32 and it's begun to matter a little more to me. Most of the time though I am willing to tell how old I am. Often the conversation that leads up to it is about something that a younger person would not do or say that makes them question my age.

For example, I was at Hardees last weekend and one of the guys there knew me. Another guy, the one who was a cashier said a phrase and I said to the other guy Iis that a new thing they want you to say now?" The fellow I knew laughed and said, "Yeah they didn't make us say as many stupid stuff when you worked here." The cashier did a double take at me then and almost stared, then he said, "You worked here?? When?" When I answered about 8 years ago he said - "Wooh, So you must be?! Nevermind, whatever it is I wouldn't have guessed it." I said "32" and his response was - "Nope, wouldn't have guessed." His incredulous expression said that I did not look 32 to him so me actually BEING that age did not bother me. It's LOOKING that age that would bother more.

snowy · 06-23-2006, 03:40 PM

I'll be 24 in about a week's time.

My age doesn't matter to me, and I doubt that it ever will. And that is why I wear sunscreen

Meditrina · 06-23-2006, 03:43 PM

I tell people my age if they ask. Age is only a number, what matters is how old you feel.

Lady Sage · 06-23-2006, 04:16 PM

I will be getting older soon... one of those ZERO bdays... yet I still get carded for things as simple as purchasing a rated "R" movie.

genuinegirly · 06-23-2006, 04:22 PM

In actual life, if they harass me enough, they learn my age.
usually i just leave it up to them.
i look 16. conversation of a 28-30-year-old. if someone has interacted with me for any length of time, they assume I am older. If it's a fresh aquaintance, they're usually confused.

Gilda · 06-23-2006, 05:11 PM

I get the question a lot, because I'm usually assumed to be in my early 20's, usually in the form of "I didn't think you were old enough for _____________ ." Online, people routinely think I'm older, though I'm not sure why.

However, I've recently become very sensitive about it, probably because I'm about to turn 30. Last year, when I was 28, I didn't worry about it, but now that I'm just a few months short of turning 30, I've decided to keep it a secret.

I'm also, like most women, quite sensitive about people knowing that I weigh 115 pounds, so I never talk about my weight either.

Gilda

Grasshopper Green · 06-23-2006, 05:39 PM

I always answer truthfully. People usually think I'm in my early 20's and are astounded when I tell them I'm nearly 29. I still get carded. It's just not a big deal to me.

HoneyPot · 06-23-2006, 07:01 PM

Usually my answer to this question is 'old'. HAHA But I'm only 22. I feel like I am almost 30 and that probably isn't a good thing. I just have had some huge life experiences such as the death of my mother, who was just 44 and also moving and going to a University. So these have made me feel a little more mature and older.

dd3953 · 06-23-2006, 07:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gilda

I'm also, like most women, quite sensitive about people knowing that I weigh 115 pounds, so I never talk about my weight either.

& this could be where some of my confusion comes in. i don't think it matters if someone knows that i weight 220lbs. i look in the mirror and know that that is the right for me & smile to see myself naked.

i don't see it as people are sensitive, i can't help but see it as people are happy or "okay" with who they are. from reading the posts, its okay to be older as long as you don't look like it. & i don't see or understand what is wrong with looking old. it is just your life showing on your face . . . .

but please, contiune the conversation, even if i can't relate to it I may be able to understand it.

Gilda, why did you chose to keep your age a sercet? What does it mean to be sensitive in that way? (That last question is not just for Gilda.)

Sweetpea · 06-23-2006, 08:33 PM

People always think i'm younger than my age, so if they ask, i make a point to let them know. I've had this come up in professional situations because other therapists will assume i'm still in college/studying and not someone graduated and working in the field.

Maybe when i get older, I won't want to tell my age... we live in a youth obsessed culture.

sweetpea

StormBerlin · 06-23-2006, 10:44 PM

It might be because i'm only 21, but I have no problem telling people how old I am. People tend to start out with "If you don't mind my asking..." and I never really understood why people wouldn't want to disclose their age in casual conversation.

View Poll Results: to tell or not to tell
i don't tell my age	1	1.10%
i tell few people my age	3	3.30%
i tell only close friends my age	1	1.10%
i tell anyone who asks my age	76	83.52%
i tell people my age, even if they don't ask	10	10.99%
Voters: 91. You may not vote on this poll

12-13-2005, 05:21 AM	#1 (permalink)
Nancy Femme Fatale Location: Elysium	Women and their age I've been trying to figure out for years what the deal with women and their age is - why are there some women who won't admit their real age? And why is it considered as ungentlemanlike manner when a man asks about it? Do any of you ladies refrain from telling your age when someone asks you? __________________ I have all the characteristics of a human being: blood, flesh, skin, hair; but not a single, clear, identifiable emotion, except for greed and disgust. Something horrible is happening inside of me and I don't know why. My nightly bloodlust has overflown into my days. I feel lethal, on the verge of frenzy. I think my mask of sanity is about to slip.

12-13-2005, 05:31 AM	#2 (permalink)
ngdawg peekaboo Location: on the back, bitch	I tell if I'm asked or if age is a discussion subject. I prefer the 'guess' approach because it's a great source of ego-boosting and entertainment for me. I don't know of anyone who lies about it though. __________________ Don't blame me. I didn't vote for either of'em.

12-13-2005, 07:45 AM	#3 (permalink)
Sultana Falling Angel Location: L.A. L.A. land	I don't like to give my age because I really feel that people have preconceived notions of certain ages/numbers...ideas they wouldn't have if they didn't have a number to assign to me. I can't tell you how many times I've gotten a really surprised, then knowing look and an, "Ahhh, ok" once I've shared my age. I know I look younger, and that's all well and good (didn't much appreciate it in my 20's, lol, looking like a teen). But I'd much rather folks base their perception of me on how I am, rather than on a collection of preconceived notions based on a generalization of statistics. It seems that women have this applied much more strongly to them than men. I think it goes to the percieved attractiveness thing. Similar to asking questions about weight and natural hair color, lol (I can't believe how many men at work have asked me if I color my hair!?! WTF happened to manners?). Another part of this is that as a performer, I get jobs based on my appearance. That's just how it is. Sadly, most prospective employers are way more influenced by how I may look in costume than the 12+ years I've spent studying dance and everything that goes with it. If in their mind a woman being over 30 is a negative, I may not get that job, even if to them and to the general public I don't "look" like that. However, I'm not ashamed of my age, and I have been more likely to tell my age specifically, because I know I appreciate it when I see a lovely woman and know that attractiveness does not end at 29, 39, or 49. I like to imagine that it could go a little tiny way in ending the idea that as a woman you have to be in your very early 20s to be at the peak of your game, whatever your game may be. __________________ "Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come." - Matt Groening My goal? To fulfill my potential.

12-13-2005, 12:55 PM	#4 (permalink)
maleficent Junkie Moderator Emeritus Location: Chicago	I honestly dont care about my age.. (wow i said tht with a straight face too ) I dont understand why the question gets asked... and why it's relavant in many situations.... OK, so I'm in a pissy mood today, and wasn't in the mood for an little twit on IM.. but it proves my point - first thing he asks is my age... Why was it relavant? I can understand if my doctor asks... but why is it the business of anyone else to know how old I am... Cut me open and count the rings if you wanna know... but just asking the question.... Why does it matter? __________________ Free your heart from hatred. Free your mind from worries. Live simply. Give more. Expect less.

12-13-2005, 01:23 PM	#5 (permalink)
Sweetpea Fade out Location: in love	Well, the reason why so many women feel they have to lie about their age is, i think, because society (american society at least) focuses on the 'fact' that "youth= power, intelligence and beauty" and that 'getting older' is somehow something to be avoided. Probably just a ploy to sell all their surgeries, creams and products to avoid that 'pesky' thing called aging... it keeps the beauty market pulling in billions a year doesn't it?? Personally, i think getting older is a good thing, because that means i lived another year and had another year of experiences.... and anyone who feels they have to lie about their age, is in an essence lying about who they are and not embracing themselves. however, if a woman wants to lie about her age... that's her perogative and i'm not going to hold it against her, allot of people cave to society ideals in weight, appearance and career, it's only natural that many people cave to and want to reflect the ideal in age too.... However, i think getting older is a beautiful thing and something to be proud of. Sweetpea __________________ Having a Pet Will Change Your Life! Looking for a great pet?! Click Here! "I am the Type of Person Who Can Get Away With A lot, Simply Because I Don't Ask Permission for the Privilege of Being Myself"

12-13-2005, 05:44 PM	#6 (permalink)
Gilda 32 flavors and then some Location: Out on a wire.	I think for most it's probably a matter of curiosity and a way to test your perceptions. We all make certain judgements about others upon first meeting them. We tend to determine what sex, age, and often ethnicity a person is as a way of determining how to interact with them. In most cases, age is a pretty general category such as child, young woman, etc. Knowing age may in some cases cement the perception of a person being in the desired category. Perhaps not providing an age or lying about it helps to project the perception that one is younger than one's actual age, which, as ngdawg points out, can be flattering. I do find it amusing when people try to guess my age, as they very often are very low. I still occasionally get carded when entering a club, though Grace, more than five years younger, never does. Gilda __________________ I'm against ending blackness. I believe that everyone has a right to be black, it's a choice, and I support that. ~Steven Colbert

12-13-2005, 10:57 PM	#7 (permalink)
genuinegirly Eat your vegetables Super Moderator Location: Arabidopsis-ville	I have been guilty of just letting people guess my age, rather than telling them straight out. For a good many years there, it seemed like a private matter. Mainly because I was living in a strange sort of denial. An example of this mentality: at age 19, I dated a man who was 27. We related very well, and the age question didn't come up for some time. When he did find out my age, he was scared away. Also, potential employers tend to offer less pay when they know my age, as opposed to just looking at my qualifications. I find a great deal of age discrimination toward my friends as well. It is as though 40-something adults have some sort of hidden belief that anyone under the age of 32 is an irresponsible imbicile that isn't worth their time or energy. So there you go. I prefer, under most situations, to keep my age to myself and let people decide for themselves how they will treat me. __________________ "Sometimes I have to remember that things are brought to me for a reason, either for my own lessons or for the benefit of others." Cynthetiq "violence is no more or less real than non-violence." roachboy

12-15-2005, 09:32 PM	#8 (permalink)
la petite moi Filling the Void. Location: California	I could care less if people asked how old I am. It's slightly irritating when someone says, "WOW 19!! You're such a youngin'!" and then treats me like a 15 year old from then on, though.

12-16-2005, 03:19 AM	#9 (permalink)
snowy Kick Ass Kunoichi Location: Oregon	The only thing that irritates me about age is that people regularly assume (people who do not know me very well) that I am younger than I am (though this bodes well for the future). I practically have a streak of gray hair already at 23; surely anyone can see that. That said, I'm in no hurry to get older, simply because I want to enjoy every minute I'm alive. I've got enough responsibility, and I don't need more right now. Wisdom would be nice, but one has to work up to it. Once I get older, I certainly won't feel badly for it. No, I think I'll appreciate that too. One has to appreciate every season they go through; otherwise life is a waste of time. __________________ If I am not better, at least I am different. --Jean-Jacques Rousseau

01-07-2006, 02:37 PM	#10 (permalink)
Atropos4 Think about it Location: North Carolina	I usually don't mind when asked. Unless I can tell they are asking because I look to young, then it bugs me. I sometimes am pretty blunt and aske Why, if they can give me a good enough reason I'll tell them or make them guess first because ngdawg is right, it's fun. I'm 25 by the way __________________ Minds are like parachutes. They work better open. "If I were Hermione, I would have licked his pantleg."

01-08-2006, 08:41 PM	#11 (permalink)
sexymama My own person -- his by choice Location: Lebell's arms	I'm 43 and proud of it! I declare my age with pride when asked and only play the guessing game with my students. The reason I play with them is to help them narrow it down with less then that and more then that answers. I like that I'm old enough to have some "wisdom" and young enough to have a 7 month old child. I feel sexier now then I ever have in my life. Why would I not be proud of who I am? Phweuh on society! (Off topic -- when I saw your avatar Gilda I wondered if the same artist did it that did Sweetpea's. Then I read your custom title -- very cool!) __________________ If you can go deeply into lovemaking, the ego disappears. That is the beauty of lovemaking, that it is another source of a glimpse of god It's not about being perfect; it's about developing some skill at managing imperfection.

01-09-2006, 01:05 AM	#12 (permalink)
Lead543 Registered User Location: Calgary	I think women who won't admit their age have issues with aging. My mom tells people her age, she doesn't had it, but she also doesn't dye her hair to cover up greys and she doesn't use "age defying" creams. I think a woman's desire to tell how old she is is dependent on her attitude towards aging. I think asking someones age is better than assuming. We've all seen 10 years younger I'm sure and the way the participants feel when they're mistaken for being 20 years older than they are.

01-19-2006, 09:12 AM	#13 (permalink)
Guinevere Upright Location: in a lovely place	I didn't hesitate to tell my age until...........I turned 50. No one believes me anyway since I look years younger but honestly, when I say 50, people act differently towards me (shocked, pleasantly surprised, whatever). I've been called a MILF for years which is a great ego boost too and yes, I dye my hair to color the gray and use moisturisers to keep my skin looking younger. Do I have trouble with aging? Only physically. Honestly, who wouldn't? It's damn easy to say you don't worry about aging when you're in your 20s, 30s and 40s. I'm trying to relax about the whole age thing but it's funny how that attitude creeps up on ya and bites you in the not so firm ass when you least expect it.

01-19-2006, 09:26 AM	#14 (permalink)
raeanna74 I'm not a blonde! I'm knot! I'm knot! I'm knot! Location: Upper Michigan	I don't know why it's supposed to be ungentlemanly to ask a woman's age. I don't lie about my age, never have, even when I was younger and wanted to be older. Now I'm 31 (will be 32 in a month) and still I tell the truth. I figure that if the person is enjoying talking to me then they like me. If they stop talking to me simply because of a number than they're not worth my time. My age has nothing to do with my relation to others. It's a similar level of maturity and our common interests that should encourage our relationship. When I was 19 I was engaged to a man who was 29. What caused us to break up had nothing to do with age and everything to do with his lack of relationship skills. He was a control freak and felt a woman should not call the man or initiate any contact herself. I am independant and unafraid of making even the first move. We didn't click but not because of age. Last year was hard on my physically and I saw rapid changes and aging in my body that have been a stuggle emotionally to deal with. Just last week I noticed frown wrinkles. That bothered me but not the fact that I had wrinkles so much as the fact that they were FROWN lines instead of crows feet or something that you tend to get more with smiling. I don't want to grow old, not because of people's perception of it but because I'm seeing less and less time to do the things I want and to enjoy life. I'm afraid of being crippled and frail before I'm done doing those things. I'm afraid of becoming so fat that I'm like my mother, needing blood pressure meds and in pain just walking. I'm not afraid of being older, I'm afraid of ailments that are more age related. I'm not ready to stop doing. I've got time but I see that time is waning. __________________ "Always learn the rules so that you can break them properly." Dalai Lama My Karma just ran over your Dogma.

01-19-2006, 01:30 PM	#15 (permalink)
serlindsipity Psycho Location: Boulder Baby!	i think to lie about your age is to fear how many years you have lived and perhaps how lttle you have to show for it? __________________ My third eye is my camera's lens.

01-20-2006, 12:58 AM	#16 (permalink)
Nancy Femme Fatale Location: Elysium	^^ Thoughtful answers everybody! Hmm I can understand why some refrain from revealing their age in fear of being treated differently. Do you suppose that is has something to do with vanity too? I don't think I've ever encountered a man who had second thoughts about revealing his age.. Do you think that us women have more problems about the aging part than men? __________________ I have all the characteristics of a human being: blood, flesh, skin, hair; but not a single, clear, identifiable emotion, except for greed and disgust. Something horrible is happening inside of me and I don't know why. My nightly bloodlust has overflown into my days. I feel lethal, on the verge of frenzy. I think my mask of sanity is about to slip.

01-20-2006, 07:37 AM	#17 (permalink)
Sultana Falling Angel Location: L.A. L.A. land	In this day and age when in a movie they'll pair Sean Connery and Catherine Zeta Jones (and that movie is at least 5 years old) and no one says "boo", yet if Susan Sarandon is paired with someone like, I don't know, Brad Pitt or Keanu Reeves, the movie is suddenly ALL ABOUT May-December romance.... Look at TV sitcoms (granted, neither TV not movies accurately reflect real life, but still), how many fat, not attractive TV hubbies are there paired with hot, attractive, bodies-to-die-for TV wives? Overall and in general, I don't think women judge men as highly on their appearance/age as men judge women. And age is a huge part of that. __________________ "Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come." - Matt Groening My goal? To fulfill my potential.

01-20-2006, 08:39 AM	#18 (permalink)
maleficent Junkie Moderator Emeritus Location: Chicago	Not all that long ago, Excellence hair color (A hair color that advertises how good it is for coloring gray) had an had print ad campaign with Andie McDowell in it (I beleive the ad campain still runs). The ad had a close up on Andie's face, and around her eyes were very very visible wrinkles... It honestly amazed me that they weren't retouched - the wrinkles didn't make her look old, or haggard or ugly - -they added just a little bit of character to her face - she's not 25 anymore - why does she need to look like it (she's more beautiful now than she was at 25) But it seems that's not the norm in advertising... it's all young beautiful women who've never had a wrinkle in their life advertising anti-aging creams... I've lost my train of thought and will start ranting in a moment - so I'll stop... There's definitely a bias between men getting older and women getting older... Distinguished is a word often used to describe an older man... I'm not so sure that there's an equivelent for women... it seems that women are either sexy or they are nothing... and older women aren't always seen as sexy... __________________ Free your heart from hatred. Free your mind from worries. Live simply. Give more. Expect less.

01-21-2006, 08:39 PM	#19 (permalink)
Beccarain Upright Location: Right here, right now	I really enjoyed reading everyone's posts on this topic! I have always been honest about my age but I admit to letting people guess because they always guess lots younger than I truly am (and yeah, that is a bit of a boost!) The only time being honest about my age has met with somewhat negative reactions is that younger people do tend to treat me differently once they know my true age (I just turned 40 last week but I look mid-20's). Unfortunately, there does seem to be a bias in society against "older" women, which is really silly. I look and feel better now than I did in my 20's; I am more sure of myself than at any other time in my life. To me, though, "age" really is a state of mind; that is far more important than any chronological number of years a person has been on this planet. __________________ Onward, through the fog . . .

03-25-2006, 01:14 PM	#20 (permalink)
Sharon Coy, sultry and... naughty! Location: Across the way	I don't mind being asked my age per se, I just don't like being asked my age when it's obvious that I'm being sized up based on it. If someone is just curious, that's cool with me. It's a bit like someone asking how much you make... ask it the wrong way and I'll get offended, if it's in context (for example, a friend who's looking to find another place to work), it doesn't even occur to me that it might be offensive.

03-28-2006, 09:28 PM	#21 (permalink)
TivaBella Tilted	If someone asks me how old I am, I tell them. I'm 39. Anyone who will judge me based soley on my age, is not someone whos opinion I would concern myself with. Besides, it's really nice when people say "You're kidding, I thought you were, like, 33 or something". (it happens occasionally) I think I just contradicted myself a bit there on some level. Sorry, I'm old - I get confused easily. __________________ It's all falling into place. Of course that place is nowhere near this place. Buffy - "Gingerbread"

03-29-2006, 12:00 PM	#23 (permalink)
TotalMILF Delusional... but in a funny way Location: deeee-TROIT!!!	I make people guess how old I am first, hehe. I'm 23, for all those who care

03-29-2006, 02:44 PM	#24 (permalink)
Babes Upright Location: 10 miles north of La la land	HAHAHA!!! I used to care because I was 15 and I didn't want the older more mature guys to ignore me because I was too young. I always told the truth though because I've looked 20 since I turned 12. I didn't want to get anyone in trouble, but I didn't want to get ignored. I know it's childish, but I was a child. It's not only an issue for girls though. I know a guy who wouldn't reveal his age at all. My dad is a highschool teacher and he's told his students that he's 53 since he was 26. Only now he'll have to move it back because it's getting close to the truth. __________________ Sorry, I got a lot of woman to sling around.

06-23-2006, 10:05 AM	#26 (permalink)
dd3953 Psycho: By Choice Location: dd.land	your age I have seen it in movies, read it in books, watched it happen while I sat at work, or a park, or a bus. A woman would be asked her age & she would refuse to tell. I am only 24, so I don't have a problem telling my age. But I guess if I was older would be able to understand the reason for it. But I don't wanna wait until I am older . . . . . So do you tell your age? Why or why not? I looked for any posts that may be similar & didn't find one, if there is one out there, let me know, thanks. __________________ [Technically, I'm not possible, I'm made of exceptions. ]

06-23-2006, 10:22 AM	#27 (permalink)
water_bug Tilted Location: Rhode Island	I am 26...I guess when I am older telling my age will be a problem, I don't know. But for now, I don't care. I'm 26, I'm 26, I'm 26!!! Yeah, it is a stereotype that women refuse to tell their age, but I have no problem.

06-23-2006, 10:58 AM	#28 (permalink)
MySexyAssJ Tilted Location: Los Angeles	i am 23 years old. i tell my age because right now it doesn't really matter to me if people know or not. a lot of the time people don't believe me when i tell them how old i am.. they all think i'm 16 or 17. maybe when i'm older.. i might lie, but only because i'll hopefully look younger than i am... like by the time i'm 45, i can lie and say i'm 35 __________________ Once bitten, Twice shy.

06-23-2006, 03:38 PM	#30 (permalink)
raeanna74 I'm not a blonde! I'm knot! I'm knot! I'm knot! Location: Upper Michigan	I'm 32 and it's begun to matter a little more to me. Most of the time though I am willing to tell how old I am. Often the conversation that leads up to it is about something that a younger person would not do or say that makes them question my age. For example, I was at Hardees last weekend and one of the guys there knew me. Another guy, the one who was a cashier said a phrase and I said to the other guy Iis that a new thing they want you to say now?" The fellow I knew laughed and said, "Yeah they didn't make us say as many stupid stuff when you worked here." The cashier did a double take at me then and almost stared, then he said, "You worked here?? When?" When I answered about 8 years ago he said - "Wooh, So you must be?! Nevermind, whatever it is I wouldn't have guessed it." I said "32" and his response was - "Nope, wouldn't have guessed." His incredulous expression said that I did not look 32 to him so me actually BEING that age did not bother me. It's LOOKING that age that would bother more. __________________ "Always learn the rules so that you can break them properly." Dalai Lama My Karma just ran over your Dogma.

06-23-2006, 03:40 PM	#31 (permalink)
snowy Kick Ass Kunoichi Location: Oregon	I'll be 24 in about a week's time. My age doesn't matter to me, and I doubt that it ever will. And that is why I wear sunscreen __________________ If I am not better, at least I am different. --Jean-Jacques Rousseau

06-23-2006, 03:43 PM	#32 (permalink)
Meditrina Junkie Location: LI,NY	I tell people my age if they ask. Age is only a number, what matters is how old you feel. __________________ "Toughness is in the soul and spirit, not in muscles." ~Alex Karras

06-23-2006, 04:16 PM	#33 (permalink)
Lady Sage Mistress of Mayhem Location: Canton, Ohio	I will be getting older soon... one of those ZERO bdays... yet I still get carded for things as simple as purchasing a rated "R" movie.

06-23-2006, 04:22 PM	#34 (permalink)
genuinegirly Eat your vegetables Super Moderator Location: Arabidopsis-ville	In actual life, if they harass me enough, they learn my age. usually i just leave it up to them. i look 16. conversation of a 28-30-year-old. if someone has interacted with me for any length of time, they assume I am older. If it's a fresh aquaintance, they're usually confused. __________________ "Sometimes I have to remember that things are brought to me for a reason, either for my own lessons or for the benefit of others." Cynthetiq "violence is no more or less real than non-violence." roachboy

06-23-2006, 05:11 PM	#35 (permalink)
Gilda 32 flavors and then some Location: Out on a wire.	I get the question a lot, because I'm usually assumed to be in my early 20's, usually in the form of "I didn't think you were old enough for _____________ ." Online, people routinely think I'm older, though I'm not sure why. However, I've recently become very sensitive about it, probably because I'm about to turn 30. Last year, when I was 28, I didn't worry about it, but now that I'm just a few months short of turning 30, I've decided to keep it a secret. I'm also, like most women, quite sensitive about people knowing that I weigh 115 pounds, so I never talk about my weight either. Gilda

06-23-2006, 05:39 PM	#36 (permalink)
Grasshopper Green ...is a comical chap Location: Where morons reign supreme	I always answer truthfully. People usually think I'm in my early 20's and are astounded when I tell them I'm nearly 29. I still get carded. It's just not a big deal to me. __________________ "They say that patriotism is the last refuge to which a scoundrel clings; steal a little and they throw you in jail, steal a lot and they make you king" Formerly Medusa

06-23-2006, 07:01 PM	#37 (permalink)
HoneyPot Crazy Location: Nunya	Usually my answer to this question is 'old'. HAHA But I'm only 22. I feel like I am almost 30 and that probably isn't a good thing. I just have had some huge life experiences such as the death of my mother, who was just 44 and also moving and going to a University. So these have made me feel a little more mature and older. __________________ Beauty is in the Eye of the Beholder.