That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard.

hahah 2bit that's a funny chop

1. Your friends can't even get racial slurs right: Asians are not a "rare race of humans."
2. Take a human sexuality class.
3. Doesn't this thread belong in Tilted Sexuality?

Even vagina dentata are vertical!

rofl, holy resurrected thread Batman!!!

I'm sure The_Dude will appreciate this one ;)

.......aahh! those were the days of ignorance.

I'm actually taking pride in this thread and this is my new "Flagship Thread".

:P

I really hate to be the bucket of cold water for this thread, but it appears that someone must be.

The rumor originated during WWII among the American officers in an attempt to keep the enlisted out of the Chinese and Polynesian brothels. The officers told them that they were just wasting their money going into those brothels because the women had "horizontal pussies" that only the local men could mate with. Needless to say, it didn't take long for someone to figure out the Brass was lying, and the enlisted were in the brothels in no time.

One American GI supposed asked one of the house girls, "Is true that Asian women have horizontal pussies?" Her reply was, "Why? Are you a harmonica player?"

This joke is still told, 60 years later. It was reprinted in late 80s-early 90s in Blanche Knott's Truly Tasteless Military Jokes and Truly Tasteless Anatomy Jokes. And apparently some people haven't seen even porn to know any better, so it'll still be around in 60 years from now.

this is borderline racist

this reminds me of that snl sketch with alec baldwin as the lone general wanting to escape after the spy plane went down in China "I don't pretend to know who these Chinese people are. I know they're small, maybe one or two feet high. I know they sound funny when they talk. I know the womenfolk have sideways vaginas. But underneath their scales, they're just like you and me."

To be fair there are a bunch of weird cases of genitalia out there the weirdest probably being the 'Guevedoces' of the Dominican Republic.
http://www.usrf.org/news/010308-guevedoces.html NSFW

It makes me feel like a newbie to know that I missed this thread originally. Damn, that was funny, and the slide thing too.

I don't know, Dude. I think the "how long until I can pee on my girlfriend" thread in sexuality has this one beat.

I don't know about the pee one .. I think the comment on the slide and the sound effects "thbthbthbthbthbthbbbbt" has anything I have read so far beat. Damn .. I am feeling pains in places that pains should never be felt just imagining it. I had rugs burns on my "yeah" (no not where your mind just went either ty) but never slide burns on my puss. Now I am curious as to know how many women may go out and slide down a slide sideways just to see if the sound effect inserted is right or not. Scientific studies never seem to cease. Or would that be considered social study?

Oh God. . . . I can't help it, it must be bumped. . . phred, thank you for another moment of mirth!

I'm new here, and I just want to say - thanks for the slide joke phred.

It's a doozy.

:D

Why has a discussion about non-existent horizontal pussies gone on for three pages already? :lol:
It's simple:

Woman on top/bottom: vertical
Woman on side in Bamboo position: horizontal.
:thumbsup:

And I can't get the slide thing out of my head... you've traumatised me. :eek:

Not only 3 pages long, but spanning over 2 years now.

Oh my god, this thread is only second to Clavus' stories, especially the "locked out naked" one. I cant believe i missed it before.

Well I stumbled upon this thread from mention of it from another thread in the Sexuality forum in regards to "Female vagina augmentation" (basically)

I kinda chuckled to see this thread. I also noticed (or didn't) that now one did make a silly ps example. If anyone is interested...
it is here. NSFW!!! Its really bad but I think pretty funny.

Cheers!

lol I do believe I lost a few IQ points reading this =p

I can't believe that I didn't post something on this back on '03 -- man, I had way too much patience... :)

I think I laughed at phred's joke about 6 times I saw it quoted. What a horrible feeling for the girl. you'd feel like a water balloon.

I like how it seems like his friend actually believes that. Maybe your friend needs to have sex.

No. Freakin. Way.

LOVE it! ROFLMFAO

One of the classic geniuses of TFP.

Hey, someone should go to a plastic surgeon and then be the first to post pictures of their own horizontal vagina. Enough talk damnit, act on it!!!!!

Here you go:

http://www.salagram.net/walk-on-water-saintly-cat.jpg

my girlfriends got a horizontal pussy but it's on her face...

If you can't find it on the internet, it just ain't so....

period.

thats just it

Okay...Here is some interesting facts for you...

There is such a thing as double vagina, as there is "the horizontal vagina syndrome."

Now the claims its some remote village with a race or even a tribe of horizontal vagina's did make me giggle some.

You can actually find this all over the net if you look, or know what you are looking for...

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/sites/en...&dopt=Abstract

Also if you look up...

"Dorsocaudal dislocation of the vagina".

Its very unpleasant for the woman and its sorted by an operation...

Now you know also that women can have tilted wombs don't you? which if you have ever had intercourse with a woman and she finds it uncomfortable ontop, 9/10 shes not making it up, its cos her womb is tilted! not rare at all!

More info on abnormal vagina's you can go here and read all about it....

http://www.childrenshospital.org/cli...ublevel11.html

Generally its something women are born with...

Hope this helps.

Nell

thanks for the info, we still need a picture.

I doubt you will get a picture, its a medical condition.

If you are so intrigued go buy a medical book and then scan the pictures! surely between you all you can come up with an actual picture!

If you're a nurse, shouldn't you have access to those medical books easier than we would?

Well thats a cop out answer Jazz, and as you feel i am copping out thats upto you, but as a nurse i am not adding pictures so you can all have a laugh at the misfortunately ones.

Nell, we've looked. Believe me, we've looked.

See post #128 for the answer.

I'm not copping out, just mentioning that we've had no luck, and you have in your hands source material.

Besides, this thread hit its peak in #18. That's why it's in the hall of fame.

Well hun i am sorry but its not going to be me adding photographs, diagrams etc etc, i wouldn't be a good nurse if i did.

Horizontal if you think about it, is not going to be where the entrance is, its inside. not as if the entrance is going to be in the thigh, if anyone thought that then i feel sorry for ya all!

So good nurses aren't supposed to educate and inform, just tell stories?

No but well you know I think that people are imagining that the cameltoe would not be north/south but more east/west.

Well, that said some of us are excellent googlers, and now that we know exactly what to be on the lookout for.... I mean this thread has endured for 4 years. We're a patient lot.

Now I don't think we would be laughing at misfortunates, since that's not what this place has ever been about.

When I was a junior in high school I was working on a nice looking Filipina. Anyway, this dude in my English class asked me if she had a sideways pussy. I laughed for a good 20 minutes. Poor guy was embarrassed.

Horizontal pussy = definitely. Happens every time a woman lies down!

omg, there's wrong, there's WRONG, and then there's thbthbthbthbthbthbbbbt... but I can't help but laugh :P

I wonder if he ever found that elusive Horizontal pussy? :rolleyes:

its been what.. 5 years and we're still struggling to get even a single picture!

and here i was thinking that TFP can do anything

Not only did I find a picture of horizontal pussy, but George Bush is eating it!
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http://i177.photobucket.com/albums/w...ny_bush_04.jpg

All I see is a red x (and yeah, I don't expect a woman to have a sideways vagina)

BINGO! we have a winner!

That was not quite as erotic as I was hoping it to be....

Maybe not on Earth...but its very likely to exist on some other planet in some other star system far, far away! I can't wait until we start building star gates to go and check it out!!! Heck...who knows how many different kinds there are???

:thumbsup:

And to be fair to the ladies, well I am at it, its very likely that there are men with many different shape as well...heck thats already the case here on Earth...

Please note...if I make a spelling error or two its because I am dyslexic...

I FOUND IT!!!!!

Entensity.net - Post Images (nude)

Huh.

Entensity.net - Post Images

top link doesn't work anymore

I honestly think someone never found a picture because everyone is avoiding the "click to enlarge" or "click to view" links....................

errr...BUMP!

thanks to one funny monkie, ive had the chance to have a few more giggles here..

any one else have any luck finding the elusive holy grail of pussy?

Personally, I have never cum across a horizontal pussy....

Though I have been known from time to time to simulate one by using a perpendickular approach.

Geez...
 

Guys,

obviously Vampires have square pussies, as all will know who watched the movie "Let the Right One In".

At 1:30:37 in you get a glimpse...

Swedish movies...............

*head assplodes*

this begs to be bumped...

Sometimes you got to attack the pussy from a blind side. A well maneuvered flank attack with catch any pussy by surprise. Easier access to the kill zone.

Blind side = alternate love canal?

3 1/2 years later (for me), it still fuckin' rawks.

---------- Post added at 07:41 PM ---------- Previous post was at 07:32 PM ----------

Link?

I'll admit it took me a few minutes to figure that one out before getting a few giggles. Got a few more when I realised that if such a thing existed that would probably be the noise a weathercunt made.

The Stanford girl's volley ball team. As far away as you can see. On the horizon. Tall pussy.:rolleyes:

wow.... I had no idea that there could be someone ignorant enough to actually believe this joke. It is something I have heard many times, but never heard of anyone actually thinking it's true. Congratulations, you should win some sort of award. Here's your sign.

Welcome to the TFP... where sarcasm runs rampant, m'dear.

Sorry for being so late to the party but......
Isn't a horizontal pussy called a "mouth"?

Well, I'm not a gynecologist, but I would be happy to look into it.

So glad the Op was an old post, my jaw almost hit the floor from the ignorance.

oh my god I remember this post so well. good times!:D

You can't be serious!

People in Australia walk on their hands and hold on hard to clumps of grass and such so that they dont fall off.

So..? If the people from “horizontal pussy Island” were to breed with the rest of the vertical vagina population, would the offspring have cross head pussies and Philips head cocks?