This can't possibly be true...no f'n way!! haHA!! - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

K-Wise · 11-14-2004, 06:22 PM

http://www.zurichlabs.com/id_sem_wm.htm

<center>Study: Fellatio may significantly decrease the risk of breast cancer in women</center> *
*
*
Thursday, October 2, 2003 Posted: 9:19 AM EDT (1319 GMT)

(AP) --Women who perform the act of fellatio and swallow semen on a regular basis, one to two times a week, may reduce their risk of breast cancer by up to 40 percent, a North Carolina State University study found.

Doctors had never suspected a link between the act of fellatio and breast cancer, but new research being performed at North Carolina State University is starting to suggest that there could be an important link between the two.

In a study of over 15,000 women suspected of having performed regular fellatio and swallowed the ejaculatory fluid, over the past ten years, the researchers found that those actually having performed the act regularly, one to two times a week, had a lower occurance of breast cancer than those who had not. There was no increased risk, however, for those who did not regularly perform.

"I think it removes the last shade of doubt that fellatio is actually a healthy act," said Dr. A.J. Kramer of Johns Hopkins School of Medicine, who was not involved in the research. "I am surprised by these findings, but am also excited that the researchers may have discovered a relatively easy way to lower the occurance of breast cancer in women."

The University researchers stressed that, though breast cancer is relatively uncommon, any steps taken to reduce the risk would be a wise decision.

"Only with regular occurance will your chances be reduced, so I encourage all women out there to make fellatio an important part of their daily routine," said Dr. Helena Shifteer, one of the researchers at the University. "Since the emergence of the research, I try to fellate at least once every other night to reduce my chances."

The study is reported in Friday's Journal of Medical Research.

In 1991, 43,582 women died of breast cancer, as reported by the National Cancer Institute.

Dr. Len Lictepeen, deputy chief medical officer for the American Cancer Society, said women should not overlook or "play down" these findings.

"This will hopefully change women's practice and patterns, resulting in a severe drop in the future number of cases," Lictepeen said.

Sooner said the research shows no increase in the risk of breast cancer in those who are, for whatever reason, not able to fellate regularly.

"There's definitely fertile ground for more research. Many have stepped forward to volunteer for related research now in the planning stages," he said.

Almost every woman is, at some point, going to perform the act of fellatio, but it is the frequency at which this event occurs that makes the difference, say researchers. Also key seems to be the protein and enzyme count in the semen, but researchers are again waiting for more test data.

The research consisted of two groups, 6,246 women ages 25 to 45 who had performed fellatio and swallowed on a regular basis over the past five to ten years, and 9,728 women who had not or did not swallow. The group of women who had performed and swallowed had a breast cancer rate of 1.9 percent and the group who had not had a breast cancer rate of 10.4 percent.

"The findings do suggest that there are other causes for breast cancer besides the absence of regular fellatio," Shafteer said. "It's a cause, not THE cause."

This opens ground for one hell of a line eh? "Go ahead baby, it'll lower your risk of breast cancer and I care about you so much I'd hate for you to catch it." "I think we should do this every day."

Well we already know what the men think about this...what about you ladies???

Asta!!
P.S. - Yeah..I guess I'm a pig

Sorry

Coppertop · 11-14-2004, 06:24 PM

"Oh dear, I've something for you to read..."

Ydde · 11-14-2004, 06:31 PM

Haha, that was hilarious. As I read it, I was laughing so hard that I began to doubt the authencity of the report. Then, I went to site and it seem real enough!

"Only with regular occurance will your chances be reduced, so I encourage all women out there to make fellatio an important part of their daily routine," said Dr. Helena Shifteer, one of the researchers at the University. "Since the emergence of the research, I try to fellate at least once every other night to reduce my chances."

*sent link to the girlfriend"

maleficent · 11-14-2004, 06:33 PM

Fellatio and BReast Cancer
No,
this wasn't a real CNN page (or Associated Press article), nor did North Carolina State University perform a study on the connection between fellatio and breast cancer. (If nothing else, the names of the doctors cited in the article — "Dr. B.J. Sooner," "Dr. Inserta Shafteer," "Dr. Len Lictepeen" — should have given it away as a hoax.)

This article was a spoof by Brandon Williamson, a junior at North Carolina State University (NCSU), who mocked it up to look like a genuine CNN.com article and made it available on the web through his NCSU account in September 2003.

After the article was popularized on the web in October 2003, reaching the inboxes of many people who failed to realize it was a spoof (and fooling some foreign newspapers, who apparently ran the article as a genuine news story), CNN and the Associated Press (AP) claimed it constituted an infringment of their intellectual property rights. Accordingly, Mr. Williamson eventually removed the graphical and textual references to CNN, AP, and NCSU from his article and posted an editorial explaining the reasons behind the changes. (The original version of the article can still be found on various web sites.)

According to Michele DeCamp, who interviewed the spoof's author, "for anyone that might be confused about the validity of the article, Williamson maintains his own naivete. 'I have no proof whatsoever that the two [fellatio and breast cancer] have anything to do with each other.'"

Averett · 11-14-2004, 06:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by maleficent

(If nothing else, the names of the doctors cited in the article — "Dr. B.J. Sooner," "Dr. Inserta Shafteer," "Dr. Len Lictepeen" — should have given it away as a hoax.)

Bwahahahahahah! Spit take!

K-Wise · 11-14-2004, 06:43 PM

Ahahaha I knew it was too good to be true!

Asta!!

Kalnaur · 11-14-2004, 08:20 PM

Now that is one of the funniest things I've ever read. Bravo to a person who can fool even the foreign media.

Paradise Lost · 11-14-2004, 08:26 PM

Read it before and didn't even start to think for a moment that it wasn't a real CNN page that
I was looking at. Either way, guys, keep experimenting with your women and see if it actually is true!

pimpercrobian · 11-14-2004, 10:53 PM

bahahahahahahaha!

thats just great.

rfra3645 · 11-15-2004, 07:41 AM

i love it....

im gonna send to my wife....

she bought septic cleaner

were on f'in city sewer.....

lmao

shell never know...

Ydde · 11-15-2004, 07:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by maleficent

Fellatio and BReast Cancer
No,
this wasn't a real CNN page (or Associated Press article), nor did North Carolina State University perform a study on the connection between fellatio and breast cancer. (If nothing else, the names of the doctors cited in the article — "Dr. B.J. Sooner," "Dr. Inserta Shafteer," "Dr. Len Lictepeen" — should have given it away as a hoax.)

This article was a spoof by Brandon Williamson, a junior at North Carolina State University (NCSU), who mocked it up to look like a genuine CNN.com article and made it available on the web through his NCSU account in September 2003.

After the article was popularized on the web in October 2003, reaching the inboxes of many people who failed to realize it was a spoof (and fooling some foreign newspapers, who apparently ran the article as a genuine news story), CNN and the Associated Press (AP) claimed it constituted an infringment of their intellectual property rights. Accordingly, Mr. Williamson eventually removed the graphical and textual references to CNN, AP, and NCSU from his article and posted an editorial explaining the reasons behind the changes. (The original version of the article can still be found on various web sites.)

According to Michele DeCamp, who interviewed the spoof's author, "for anyone that might be confused about the validity of the article, Williamson maintains his own naivete. 'I have no proof whatsoever that the two [fellatio and breast cancer] have anything to do with each other.'"

Damn! I should have spotted it. Can't blame me, my mind was clouded by visions of regular fellatio

KinkyKiwi · 11-15-2004, 12:16 PM

*whew* i'm so glad this isnt real before i ....never mind.

wow..i feel like a dumbass for not spotting the funny names and such...

FatherTed · 11-15-2004, 12:46 PM

Great - very funny !
Of course, I've been telling my wife that semen is a natural breast enlarger, so this will sit well alongside that 1.

(not sure we will believe this any more than the other, but no harm in trying!)

BoltedDown · 11-15-2004, 05:09 PM

Damn.... foiled again...

-BD

11-14-2004, 06:22 PM	#1 (permalink)
K-Wise It's All About The Ass!! Location: In a pool of mayonnaise!!	This can't possibly be true...no f'n way!! haHA!! http://www.zurichlabs.com/id_sem_wm.htm <i><center><font size=4>Study: Fellatio may significantly decrease the risk of breast cancer in women</font></center> * * * Thursday, October 2, 2003 Posted: 9:19 AM EDT (1319 GMT) <b>(AP) --Women who perform the act of fellatio and swallow semen on a regular basis, one to two times a week, may reduce their risk of breast cancer by up to 40 percent, a North Carolina State University study found.</b> Doctors had never suspected a link between the act of fellatio and breast cancer, but new research being performed at North Carolina State University is starting to suggest that there could be an important link between the two. In a study of over 15,000 women suspected of having performed regular fellatio and swallowed the ejaculatory fluid, over the past ten years, the researchers found that those actually having performed the act regularly, one to two times a week, had a lower occurance of breast cancer than those who had not. There was no increased risk, however, for those who did not regularly perform. "I think it removes the last shade of doubt that fellatio is actually a healthy act," said Dr. A.J. Kramer of Johns Hopkins School of Medicine, who was not involved in the research. "I am surprised by these findings, but am also excited that the researchers may have discovered a relatively easy way to lower the occurance of breast cancer in women." The University researchers stressed that, though breast cancer is relatively uncommon, any steps taken to reduce the risk would be a wise decision. "Only with regular occurance will your chances be reduced, so I encourage all women out there to make fellatio an important part of their daily routine," said Dr. Helena Shifteer, one of the researchers at the University. "Since the emergence of the research, I try to fellate at least once every other night to reduce my chances." The study is reported in Friday's Journal of Medical Research. In 1991, 43,582 women died of breast cancer, as reported by the National Cancer Institute. Dr. Len Lictepeen, deputy chief medical officer for the American Cancer Society, said women should not overlook or "play down" these findings. "This will hopefully change women's practice and patterns, resulting in a severe drop in the future number of cases," Lictepeen said. Sooner said the research shows no increase in the risk of breast cancer in those who are, for whatever reason, not able to fellate regularly. <b>"There's definitely fertile ground for more research. Many have stepped forward to volunteer for related research now in the planning stages," he said.</b> Almost every woman is, at some point, going to perform the act of fellatio, but it is the frequency at which this event occurs that makes the difference, say researchers. Also key seems to be the protein and enzyme count in the semen, but researchers are again waiting for more test data. The research consisted of two groups, 6,246 women ages 25 to 45 who had performed fellatio and swallowed on a regular basis over the past five to ten years, and 9,728 women who had not or did not swallow. The group of women who had performed and swallowed had a breast cancer rate of 1.9 percent and the group who had not had a breast cancer rate of 10.4 percent. "The findings do suggest that there are other causes for breast cancer besides the absence of regular fellatio," Shafteer said. "It's a cause, not THE cause."</i> This opens ground for one hell of a line eh? "Go ahead baby, it'll lower your risk of breast cancer and I care about you so much I'd hate for you to catch it." "I think we should do this every day." Well we already know what the men think about this...what about you ladies??? Asta!! <font size=1>P.S. - Yeah..I guess I'm a pig Sorry</font> __________________ "I love music and it's my parents fault (closing statement)." - Me..quoting myself...from when I said that...On TFP..thats here...Tilted Forum Project *It ain't goodbye, it's see ya later! I'll miss you guys!* - Asta!!

11-14-2004, 06:33 PM	#4 (permalink)
maleficent Junkie Moderator Emeritus Location: Chicago	Fellatio and BReast Cancer No, this wasn't a real CNN page (or Associated Press article), nor did North Carolina State University perform a study on the connection between fellatio and breast cancer. (If nothing else, the names of the doctors cited in the article — "Dr. B.J. Sooner," "Dr. Inserta Shafteer," "Dr. Len Lictepeen" — should have given it away as a hoax.) This article was a spoof by Brandon Williamson, a junior at North Carolina State University (NCSU), who mocked it up to look like a genuine CNN.com article and made it available on the web through his NCSU account in September 2003. After the article was popularized on the web in October 2003, reaching the inboxes of many people who failed to realize it was a spoof (and fooling some foreign newspapers, who apparently ran the article as a genuine news story), CNN and the Associated Press (AP) claimed it constituted an infringment of their intellectual property rights. Accordingly, Mr. Williamson eventually removed the graphical and textual references to CNN, AP, and NCSU from his article and posted an editorial explaining the reasons behind the changes. (The original version of the article can still be found on various web sites.) According to Michele DeCamp, who interviewed the spoof's author, "for anyone that might be confused about the validity of the article, Williamson maintains his own naivete. 'I have no proof whatsoever that the two [fellatio and breast cancer] have anything to do with each other.'" __________________ Free your heart from hatred. Free your mind from worries. Live simply. Give more. Expect less.

11-14-2004, 06:43 PM	#6 (permalink)
K-Wise It's All About The Ass!! Location: In a pool of mayonnaise!!	Ahahaha I knew it was too good to be true! Asta!! __________________ "I love music and it's my parents fault (closing statement)." - Me..quoting myself...from when I said that...On TFP..thats here...Tilted Forum Project *It ain't goodbye, it's see ya later! I'll miss you guys!* - Asta!!

11-14-2004, 08:20 PM	#7 (permalink)
Kalnaur Psycho Location: Portland, Oregon	Now that is one of the funniest things I've ever read. Bravo to a person who can fool even the foreign media. __________________ PC: Can you help me out here HK? HK-47: I'm 98% percent sure this miniature organic meatbag wants you to help find his fellow miniature organic meatbags. PC: And the other 2 percent? HK-47: The other 2 percent is that he is just looking for trouble and needs to be blasted, but that might be wishful thinking on my part.

11-14-2004, 08:26 PM	#8 (permalink)
Paradise Lost "Afternoon everybody." "NORM!" Location: Poland, Ohio // Clarion University of PA.	Read it before and didn't even start to think for a moment that it wasn't a real CNN page that I was looking at. Either way, guys, keep experimenting with your women and see if it actually is true! __________________ "Marino could do it."

11-14-2004, 06:24 PM	#2 (permalink)
Coppertop Getting Medieval on your ass Location: 13th century Europe	"Oh dear, I've something for you to read..."

11-14-2004, 06:31 PM	#3 (permalink)
Ydde Tilted Location: Singapore	Haha, that was hilarious. As I read it, I was laughing so hard that I began to doubt the authencity of the report. Then, I went to site and it seem real enough! "Only with regular occurance will your chances be reduced, so I encourage all women out there to make fellatio an important part of their daily routine," said Dr. Helena Shifteer, one of the researchers at the University. "Since the emergence of the research, I try to fellate at least once every other night to reduce my chances." *sent link to the girlfriend"

11-14-2004, 10:53 PM	#9 (permalink)
pimpercrobian Tilted Location: Arizona	bahahahahahahaha! thats just great. __________________ So you thing ur kung-fu is pretty good uh... I want to fight ur sister, her verses me... Lets kung-fu!!!!! Arizona Cardinals: 4-7 Phoenix Suns: 13-3 Denver Broncos: 7-4

11-15-2004, 07:41 AM	#10 (permalink)
rfra3645 Crazy Location: geff il	i love it.... im gonna send to my wife.... she bought septic cleaner were on f'in city sewer..... lmao shell never know... __________________ this post is a natural product made from recycled electrons. the slight variations in spelling, grammar and punctuation enhance its individual character and individuality and are in no way to be considered flaws or defects. if you cant read my post i dont want to hear about it move on. thanks

11-15-2004, 12:16 PM	#12 (permalink)
KinkyKiwi "Without the fuzz" Location: ..too close for comfort..	whew i'm so glad this isnt real before i ....never mind. wow..i feel like a dumbass for not spotting the funny names and such... __________________ Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps. Play with each other. Play with yourselves. Just don't play with the squirrels, they bite.

11-15-2004, 12:46 PM	#13 (permalink)
FatherTed Crazy Location: Ireland	Great - very funny ! Of course, I've been telling my wife that semen is a natural breast enlarger, so this will sit well alongside that 1. (not sure we will believe this any more than the other, but no harm in trying!)

11-15-2004, 05:09 PM	#14 (permalink)
BoltedDown Crazy	Damn.... foiled again... -BD