Don't know how to handle situation and need advice really bad - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

mattevil · 11-13-2004, 03:02 PM

This last Friday I went out with a couple of girls for one of their birthday parties(she just turned 21)
I don't personally drink so I was just really trying to look out for these girls since they were just getting trashed(that and I feel obliged since they've been very welcoming to me after just transferring to school).
Anyways I'm with this one girl and she needs to get back to her room because she's passed out on me once and needs to hold on to me to keep her balance. Her roommate all of a sudden at the end of the night picks up some guy and decides to take him back to the dorm. So anyways we get back to their room and lo and behold my roommate shows up who's consumed a whole bottle of apple vodka. The rest of the night I'm wearing myself out either trying to cockblock her roommate's would be rapist(the girl is all but passed out and he's all over her) and also trying to keep the other girl from going outside (she keeps complaining she's dizzy if she sits down) so she doesn't break her head open. The girl I can't keep in the room is also freaked out by the guy in the room with her roommate so I'm trying to talk her down to all the while acting as a human bean bag when she loses her balance(still sore) or try to takes the elevator or stairs.
Eventually I get my roommate to go to bed and their suitemate(who's also sober thank god) comes over to watch after the girl that keeps running off.
She takes care of that girl while I'm watching over the girl making sure she doesn't choke on her vomit, has a trashcan, doesn't get raped by the guy who seems to be falling asleep,etc.
After about 30 min the suitemate comes back with the other girl.
My roommate has tried to rape her.
According to the suitemate he dragged her from the stairs and put her on his bed as she was drifting in and out of consciousness. All the while my roommate is trying to get rid of the suitmate who's found her as he gets on the bed with the girl. Luckily the suitemate is smart enough to get the girl out of there as soon as she can.

I spent the rest of the night (literally sunup) looking after the girl my roommate attacked in the suitemate's room while the suitemate makes sure the other guy stays asleep.

I'm just been upset all week over this. I literally want to kill my roommate but I obviously know that's not the right option.I've been sleeping on the suitemate's floor becuase I can't even to stand to be around the guy. I mean not only does he try to rape a girl in my room but it's a close friend of mine he did it to!

I'm also having trouble getting the girl to talk about this because she really can't remeber the event and the suitemate and unfortunately my roomate are the only ones who remember anything. She confronted him the other day and he's been playing it off like a total son of a bitch.

I want to move out of my room but there really isn't any place to go that won't take weeks to get into by which the semester will be over. It's almost looking like my roommate won't be here next semester(about three weeks from now) because he's had to take out a loan.
I'm asking anybody here what is the best course of action. oh and sorry for the long post.

slimsam1 · 11-13-2004, 03:17 PM

This is why it's not a good idea to get smashed.

Get a new room/roommate. If you want, let the folks who assign rooms to roommates know why you need to move.

The girl who was almost raped should file a police report, but if she doesn't want to then it's her prerogative.

meembo · 11-13-2004, 03:32 PM

new roommate. no other option

steer clear of this behavior, as a rule

slimcr · 11-13-2004, 03:40 PM

I had a hell of a time following all the characters in the story *lol* but whatever happened should be reported to the police. I dont care if its a friend, a mate, a roommate or whatever it is.

thingstodo · 11-13-2004, 03:51 PM

I agree with everyone regarding calling the police and getting another roommate. Even if she can't remember, witnesses can. This guy is just a predator and he'll do it again if he's not stopped this time. Do the right thing!

Zeraph · 11-13-2004, 04:07 PM

Immediate physical violence would have been my option, but ya, tell the police/head of dorm person.

shakran · 11-13-2004, 04:42 PM

hopefully this will teach her why it's not a good idea to get piss drunk.

Irishsean · 11-13-2004, 05:01 PM

Sounds like your roomate needs a severe ass-kicking to me. I'd go for the kind that would preclude him ever coming back to your room.

avhg1 · 11-13-2004, 06:33 PM

Bar soap in a pillow case. Personally, I would confront him and if he tried to deny it I would fuck him up. I would make sure he was afraid to sleep any where near me. Sounds like you're a much nicer guy than me though. In which case, I agree with everyone about reporting it to the police. You need to make things at school as hard as possible for this guy. If you ever see him with another woman, make sure you let them know what kind of person he is.

Irishsean · 11-13-2004, 07:05 PM

When I was in college, I came back to my room one day to find my roomate drunk and passed out, with an underage girl in his bed, and some mushrooms and liquor scattered on the floor. I had found out a week or so before hand that he was on parole after killing a woman while driving drunk and was not supposed to be anywhere near alcohol. I invited his PO, girlfriend, and the RA and RD from the dorms over for a chat. He left with the parole officer and a few men in blue, the girl was picked up by her parents, and I didn't have a roomate for the rest of the semester.

mattevil · 11-17-2004, 05:52 PM

well good news the guy moved out today(they kicked him out for not paying) and the girls i stuck by with want me to come with them for spring break. I may just buy out my room as a single this next semester(even though it's exspensive as hell) since this was way too much for me to take(lots of stress this week).

mattevil · 11-17-2004, 05:53 PM

oops double post

SiNai · 11-17-2004, 06:04 PM

I'm glad it turned out well for you! Tough choice on your room situation, but in that position I would probably opt for the single room too. Now that those girls know you are a good guy, you can make your move with the one who has the hots for ya

woohoo!

11-13-2004, 03:02 PM	#1 (permalink)
mattevil Addict Location: Virginia	Don't know how to handle situation and need advice really bad This last Friday I went out with a couple of girls for one of their birthday parties(she just turned 21) I don't personally drink so I was just really trying to look out for these girls since they were just getting trashed(that and I feel obliged since they've been very welcoming to me after just transferring to school). Anyways I'm with this one girl and she needs to get back to her room because she's passed out on me once and needs to hold on to me to keep her balance. Her roommate all of a sudden at the end of the night picks up some guy and decides to take him back to the dorm. So anyways we get back to their room and lo and behold my roommate shows up who's consumed a whole bottle of apple vodka. The rest of the night I'm wearing myself out either trying to cockblock her roommate's would be rapist(the girl is all but passed out and he's all over her) and also trying to keep the other girl from going outside (she keeps complaining she's dizzy if she sits down) so she doesn't break her head open. The girl I can't keep in the room is also freaked out by the guy in the room with her roommate so I'm trying to talk her down to all the while acting as a human bean bag when she loses her balance(still sore) or try to takes the elevator or stairs. Eventually I get my roommate to go to bed and their suitemate(who's also sober thank god) comes over to watch after the girl that keeps running off. She takes care of that girl while I'm watching over the girl making sure she doesn't choke on her vomit, has a trashcan, doesn't get raped by the guy who seems to be falling asleep,etc. After about 30 min the suitemate comes back with the other girl. My roommate has tried to rape her. According to the suitemate he dragged her from the stairs and put her on his bed as she was drifting in and out of consciousness. All the while my roommate is trying to get rid of the suitmate who's found her as he gets on the bed with the girl. Luckily the suitemate is smart enough to get the girl out of there as soon as she can. I spent the rest of the night (literally sunup) looking after the girl my roommate attacked in the suitemate's room while the suitemate makes sure the other guy stays asleep. I'm just been upset all week over this. I literally want to kill my roommate but I obviously know that's not the right option.I've been sleeping on the suitemate's floor becuase I can't even to stand to be around the guy. I mean not only does he try to rape a girl in my room but it's a close friend of mine he did it to! I'm also having trouble getting the girl to talk about this because she really can't remeber the event and the suitemate and unfortunately my roomate are the only ones who remember anything. She confronted him the other day and he's been playing it off like a total son of a bitch. I want to move out of my room but there really isn't any place to go that won't take weeks to get into by which the semester will be over. It's almost looking like my roommate won't be here next semester(about three weeks from now) because he's had to take out a loan. I'm asking anybody here what is the best course of action. oh and sorry for the long post.

11-13-2004, 03:32 PM	#3 (permalink)
meembo Junkie Location: Connecticut	new roommate. no other option steer clear of this behavior, as a rule __________________ less I say, smarter I am

11-13-2004, 03:51 PM	#5 (permalink)
thingstodo A Storm Is Coming Location: The Great White North	I agree with everyone regarding calling the police and getting another roommate. Even if she can't remember, witnesses can. This guy is just a predator and he'll do it again if he's not stopped this time. Do the right thing! __________________ If you're wringing your hands you can't roll up your shirt sleeves. Stangers have the best candy.

11-13-2004, 05:01 PM	#8 (permalink)
Irishsean edited for content Location: Austin, TX	Sounds like your roomate needs a severe ass-kicking to me. I'd go for the kind that would preclude him ever coming back to your room. __________________ There are no absolute rules of conduct, either in peace or war. Everything depends on circumstances. Leon Trotsky

11-13-2004, 06:33 PM	#9 (permalink)
avhg1 Insane Location: MD	Bar soap in a pillow case. Personally, I would confront him and if he tried to deny it I would fuck him up. I would make sure he was afraid to sleep any where near me. Sounds like you're a much nicer guy than me though. In which case, I agree with everyone about reporting it to the police. You need to make things at school as hard as possible for this guy. If you ever see him with another woman, make sure you let them know what kind of person he is. __________________ I shake the devil's hand daily... I'd do it hourly, but my hand gets tired.

11-13-2004, 03:17 PM	#2 (permalink)
slimsam1 Crazy	This is why it's not a good idea to get smashed. Get a new room/roommate. If you want, let the folks who assign rooms to roommates know why you need to move. The girl who was almost raped should file a police report, but if she doesn't want to then it's her prerogative.

11-13-2004, 03:40 PM	#4 (permalink)
slimcr Insane	I had a hell of a time following all the characters in the story lol but whatever happened should be reported to the police. I dont care if its a friend, a mate, a roommate or whatever it is.

11-13-2004, 04:07 PM	#6 (permalink)
Zeraph Banned Location: The Cosmos	Immediate physical violence would have been my option, but ya, tell the police/head of dorm person.

11-13-2004, 04:42 PM	#7 (permalink)
shakran Tone.	hopefully this will teach her why it's not a good idea to get piss drunk.

11-13-2004, 07:05 PM	#10 (permalink)
Irishsean edited for content Location: Austin, TX	When I was in college, I came back to my room one day to find my roomate drunk and passed out, with an underage girl in his bed, and some mushrooms and liquor scattered on the floor. I had found out a week or so before hand that he was on parole after killing a woman while driving drunk and was not supposed to be anywhere near alcohol. I invited his PO, girlfriend, and the RA and RD from the dorms over for a chat. He left with the parole officer and a few men in blue, the girl was picked up by her parents, and I didn't have a roomate for the rest of the semester. __________________ There are no absolute rules of conduct, either in peace or war. Everything depends on circumstances. Leon Trotsky

11-17-2004, 05:52 PM	#11 (permalink)
mattevil Addict Location: Virginia	well good news the guy moved out today(they kicked him out for not paying) and the girls i stuck by with want me to come with them for spring break. I may just buy out my room as a single this next semester(even though it's exspensive as hell) since this was way too much for me to take(lots of stress this week). Last edited by mattevil; 02-15-2005 at 01:59 PM..

11-17-2004, 05:53 PM	#12 (permalink)
mattevil Addict Location: Virginia	oops double post Last edited by mattevil; 11-17-2004 at 06:20 PM..

11-17-2004, 06:04 PM	#13 (permalink)
SiNai Dreams In Digital Location: Iowa	I'm glad it turned out well for you! Tough choice on your room situation, but in that position I would probably opt for the single room too. Now that those girls know you are a good guy, you can make your move with the one who has the hots for ya woohoo! __________________ I can't seem to remember now What it was like- to live life, before you.. symbiont