Andy Rooney - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

krwlz · 05-18-2003, 07:14 PM

dont even know if its completely for real, but i got it inmy e-mail, and i liked it.

-----------------------------------------

Andy Rooney said on 60 minutes a few weeks back: (for those of you that don't know Andy Rooney, he is a 82 year old US TV commentator)

I like big cars, big boats, big motorcycles, big houses and big
campfires.

I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not some governmental stooge with a bad comb-over who wants to give it away to crack addicts for squirting out babies.

Guns do not make you a killer. I think killing makes you a killer.
You can kill someone with a baseball bat or a car, but no one is trying to ban you from driving to the ball game.

I believe they are called the Boy Scouts for a reason, that is why
there are no girls allowed. Girls belong in the Girl Scouts! ARE YOU LISTENING MARTHA BURKE?

I think that if you feel homosexuality is wrong, it is not a
phobia, it is an opinion.

I don't think being a minority makes you a victim of anything except numbers. The only things I can think of that are truly
discriminatory are things like the United Negro College Fund, Jet Magazine, Black Entertainment Television, and Miss Black America. Try to have things like the United Caucasian College Fund, Cloud Magazine, White
Entertainment Television, or Miss White America; and see what happens. Jesse Jackson will be knocking down your door.

I have the right "NOT" to be tolerant of others because they are different, weird, or tick me off.

When 70% of the people who get arrested are black, in cities where 70% of the population is black, that is not racial profiling, it is the
Law of probability.

I know what sex is, and there are not varying degrees of it. If I
received sex from one of my subordinates in my office, it wouldn't be a private matter or my personal business. I would be "FIRED" immediately!

I believe that if you are selling me a milk shake, a pack of cigarettes,
a newspaper or a hotel room, you must do it in English! As a matter of fact, if you want to be an American citizen, you should have to speak English!

My father and grandfather didn't die in vain so you can leave the countries you were born in to come over and disrespect ours.

I think the police should have every right to shoot your sorry self if you threaten
them after they tell you to stop. If you can't understand the word "freeze" or
"stop" in English, see the above lines.

I feel much safer letting a machine with no political affiliation
recount votes when needed. I know what the definition of lying is.

I don't think just because you were not born in this country, you
are qualified for any special loan programs, government sponsored bank loans or tax breaks, etc., so you can open a hotel, coffee shop, trinket store, or any other business.

We did not go to the aid of certain foreign countries and risk our
lives in wars to defend their freedoms, so that decades later they could come over here and tell us our constitution is a living document; and open to their interpretations.

I don't hate the rich. I don't pity the poor. I know pro wrestling
is fake, but so are movies and television. That doesn't stop you from watching them.

I believe a self-righteous liberal or conservative with a cause is
more dangerous than a Hell's Angel with an attitude.

I think Bill Gates has every right to keep every penny he made and continue to make more. If it ticks you off, go and invent the next operating system that's better, and put your name on the building. Ask your buddy that invented the Internet to help you.

It doesn't take a whole village to raise a child right, but it does
take a parent to stand up to the kid; and smack their little behinds when necessary, and say "NO!"

"I think tattoos and piercing are fine if you want them, but please
don't pretend they are a political statement. And, please, stay home until that new lip ring heals. I don't want to look at your ugly infected mouth as you serve me french fries!

I am sick of "Political Correctness." I know a lot of black people,
and not a single one of them was born in Africa; so how can they be "African-Americans"? Besides, Africa is a continent. I don't go
around saying I am a European-American because my great, great, great, great, great, great grandfather was from Europe. I am proud to be from America and nowhere else.

-------------
well agree? disagree? i personaly think he summed the world in which we live in up fairly nicely.

pangavan · 05-18-2003, 07:24 PM

Man I just WISH I wrote that. Its like common sense delivered with a baseball bat

redravin40 · 05-18-2003, 07:57 PM

This is the same simplistic stuff that has been making the rounds for the past couple of years.
It has been attributed to Ted Nugent, George Carlin, Bill Mahr, etc. etc.
It's one of those rants that has just enough truth that the jingoism and self centered silliness is easy to ignore.

BoCo · 05-18-2003, 08:29 PM

Ted Nugent said it. Andy Rooney isn't bright enough to come up with anything like that.

buffto · 05-18-2003, 11:05 PM

i don't doubt that ted nugent said that, but andy rooney is much, MUCH more intelligent than the motor city madman's crazy ass.

rs8001 · 05-19-2003, 12:05 AM

On the surface I agree with much of it. It is entertaining but over-generalized. It is just a statement of beliefs with no arguements of any kind as to why he (or you) should also feel the same way. Maybe the point is: everything is just F'd up. Nothing new about screaming that though is there?

I've seen this before so it must have been around a while.
snopes.com claims: http://www.snopes.com/language/document/carlin.htm

Reese · 05-19-2003, 02:52 AM

I think this is just a collection of different statements all thrown together. I've heard one or two of the comments from different comedians like george carlin and dennis leary but niether of these guys said all that was written.

sbscout · 05-19-2003, 05:37 AM

a little truth is a very dangerous thing...

BBtB · 05-19-2003, 09:29 AM

I don't care who wrote it. I agree with about 95% of it. Of course its all an over simplification but really.. things are just as complex as we make them.

krwlz · 05-19-2003, 06:02 PM

i agree that it isnt the be all end all, but it stills rings surprisingly true for the most part. I made the disclaimer that i didnt know who said it, but i still liked it, especialy the part about the homophobes...

GuttersnipeXL · 05-19-2003, 06:14 PM

Pro wrestling isn't fake!!! What is this crazy ol' codger talkin' about?! I like the rest though.

05-18-2003, 07:14 PM	#1 (permalink)
krwlz Fledgling Dead Head Location: Clarkson U.	Andy Rooney dont even know if its completely for real, but i got it inmy e-mail, and i liked it. ----------------------------------------- Andy Rooney said on 60 minutes a few weeks back: (for those of you that don't know Andy Rooney, he is a 82 year old US TV commentator) I like big cars, big boats, big motorcycles, big houses and big campfires. I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not some governmental stooge with a bad comb-over who wants to give it away to crack addicts for squirting out babies. Guns do not make you a killer. I think killing makes you a killer. You can kill someone with a baseball bat or a car, but no one is trying to ban you from driving to the ball game. I believe they are called the Boy Scouts for a reason, that is why there are no girls allowed. Girls belong in the Girl Scouts! ARE YOU LISTENING MARTHA BURKE? I think that if you feel homosexuality is wrong, it is not a phobia, it is an opinion. I don't think being a minority makes you a victim of anything except numbers. The only things I can think of that are truly discriminatory are things like the United Negro College Fund, Jet Magazine, Black Entertainment Television, and Miss Black America. Try to have things like the United Caucasian College Fund, Cloud Magazine, White Entertainment Television, or Miss White America; and see what happens. Jesse Jackson will be knocking down your door. I have the right "NOT" to be tolerant of others because they are different, weird, or tick me off. When 70% of the people who get arrested are black, in cities where 70% of the population is black, that is not racial profiling, it is the Law of probability. I know what sex is, and there are not varying degrees of it. If I received sex from one of my subordinates in my office, it wouldn't be a private matter or my personal business. I would be "FIRED" immediately! I believe that if you are selling me a milk shake, a pack of cigarettes, a newspaper or a hotel room, you must do it in English! As a matter of fact, if you want to be an American citizen, you should have to speak English! My father and grandfather didn't die in vain so you can leave the countries you were born in to come over and disrespect ours. I think the police should have every right to shoot your sorry self if you threaten them after they tell you to stop. If you can't understand the word "freeze" or "stop" in English, see the above lines. I feel much safer letting a machine with no political affiliation recount votes when needed. I know what the definition of lying is. I don't think just because you were not born in this country, you are qualified for any special loan programs, government sponsored bank loans or tax breaks, etc., so you can open a hotel, coffee shop, trinket store, or any other business. We did not go to the aid of certain foreign countries and risk our lives in wars to defend their freedoms, so that decades later they could come over here and tell us our constitution is a living document; and open to their interpretations. I don't hate the rich. I don't pity the poor. I know pro wrestling is fake, but so are movies and television. That doesn't stop you from watching them. I believe a self-righteous liberal or conservative with a cause is more dangerous than a Hell's Angel with an attitude. I think Bill Gates has every right to keep every penny he made and continue to make more. If it ticks you off, go and invent the next operating system that's better, and put your name on the building. Ask your buddy that invented the Internet to help you. It doesn't take a whole village to raise a child right, but it does take a parent to stand up to the kid; and smack their little behinds when necessary, and say "NO!" "I think tattoos and piercing are fine if you want them, but please don't pretend they are a political statement. And, please, stay home until that new lip ring heals. I don't want to look at your ugly infected mouth as you serve me french fries! I am sick of "Political Correctness." I know a lot of black people, and not a single one of them was born in Africa; so how can they be "African-Americans"? Besides, Africa is a continent. I don't go around saying I am a European-American because my great, great, great, great, great, great grandfather was from Europe. I am proud to be from America and nowhere else. ------------- well agree? disagree? i personaly think he summed the world in which we live in up fairly nicely.

05-18-2003, 07:24 PM	#2 (permalink)
pangavan Insane Location: cleveland, OH	Man I just WISH I wrote that. Its like common sense delivered with a baseball bat __________________ He is, moreover, a frequent drunkard, a glutton, and a patron of ladies who are no better than they should be.

05-18-2003, 08:29 PM	#4 (permalink)
BoCo Fear the bunny Location: Hanging off the tip of the Right Wing	Ted Nugent said it. Andy Rooney isn't bright enough to come up with anything like that. __________________ Activism is a way for useless people to feel important.

05-19-2003, 12:05 AM	#6 (permalink)
rs8001 Crazy Location: Indiana	On the surface I agree with much of it. It is entertaining but over-generalized. It is just a statement of beliefs with no arguements of any kind as to why he (or you) should also feel the same way. Maybe the point is: everything is just F'd up. Nothing new about screaming that though is there? I've seen this before so it must have been around a while. snopes.com claims: http://www.snopes.com/language/document/carlin.htm Last edited by rs8001; 05-19-2003 at 12:21 AM..

05-19-2003, 02:52 AM	#7 (permalink)
Reese Delicious	I think this is just a collection of different statements all thrown together. I've heard one or two of the comments from different comedians like george carlin and dennis leary but niether of these guys said all that was written. __________________ “It is better to be rich and healthy than poor and sick” - Dave Barry

05-18-2003, 07:57 PM	#3 (permalink)
redravin40 Loser Location: With Jadzia	This is the same simplistic stuff that has been making the rounds for the past couple of years. It has been attributed to Ted Nugent, George Carlin, Bill Mahr, etc. etc. It's one of those rants that has just enough truth that the jingoism and self centered silliness is easy to ignore.

05-18-2003, 11:05 PM	#5 (permalink)
buffto Crazy Location: Missouri	i don't doubt that ted nugent said that, but andy rooney is much, MUCH more intelligent than the motor city madman's crazy ass.

05-19-2003, 05:37 AM	#8 (permalink)
sbscout Disorganized Location: back home again...	a little truth is a very dangerous thing... __________________ Always question authority... it'll keep the bastards on their toes!

05-19-2003, 09:29 AM	#9 (permalink)
BBtB ClerkMan! Location: Tulsa, Ok.	I don't care who wrote it. I agree with about 95% of it. Of course its all an over simplification but really.. things are just as complex as we make them. __________________ Meridae'n once played "death" at a game of chess that lasted for over two years. He finally beat death in a best 34 out of 67 match. At that time he could ask for any one thing and he could wish for the hope of all mankind... he looked death right in the eye and said ... "I would like about three fiddy"

05-19-2003, 06:02 PM	#10 (permalink)
krwlz Fledgling Dead Head Location: Clarkson U.	i agree that it isnt the be all end all, but it stills rings surprisingly true for the most part. I made the disclaimer that i didnt know who said it, but i still liked it, especialy the part about the homophobes...

05-19-2003, 06:14 PM	#11 (permalink)
GuttersnipeXL Giggity Giggity!! Location: N'York	Pro wrestling isn't fake!!! What is this crazy ol' codger talkin' about?! I like the rest though. __________________ When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro. HST