Death... party pictures... moral dilemna...
 

OK so here's the situation. It's already over and dealt with and everything, I just wanted to give everyone here something to think about for a moment.

I develop people's pictures at a national drug store chain.

The other day, I had a gentleman come in and drop off some film. He explained that the 3 rolls he was handing me were found in his daughter's room, because she's recently passed away, and he wanted to get them developed. He then looked about, with those giant, sad, sunken eyes, and leaned in to me.

He says to me, "She was my only child. She was 18. I know she had friends and things... [trailed off a moment] If you find something in there you think I shouldn't see... just tell me they were blank. No matter how hard I ask you, you just tell me it's blank, ok?"

The man's eyes were welling up with tears, and I very quickly gave him the "I'll take care of it" he'd been looking for, so he could peacefully walk out of the store.

When the negatives came out of the machine, I looked at them.

One was family pictures- mom, dad, her, out and about here and there. No big deal.

The second actually was blank. It really, actually, seriously was blank. I left that one whole and didn't detach it from the leader card (card used to drag it through the chemicals).

The third, however, which looked a bit more weathered than the other two.... the third was a party. It started out as a lot of drinking (21 is the legal age) and her in the arms of various boys, kissing various boys, etc. After a few frames of that, there was some marijuana- both in joint and pipe use (also quite illegal here).......

.......towards the end of the roll was a picture of her flashing the camera, and then, a picture of her giving head to the person holding the camera- sort of a down-shot, like the guy's point of view.

Now i've got one good roll, one REALLY blank roll, and a roll of moral dilemna. It's really not a hard decision to not give him that third party one. But I actually do have a blank one... so he's going to think there are TWO bad ones.

He comes back in the hour, and I present him with the following:

"Here is the first roll. All the pictures came out. [holding up real blank roll- ] This is the second roll, and it's blank, just as it came out of the machine. It's really, actually blank. The last roll has pictures of your daughter having a great time with some friends. It looks as though it was very recent, and she had a big smile in every picture. The pictures themselves would have been a memento to her, but will mean nothing to you."

And then I just stopped talking. He took a moment, almost said something, and then smiled and said, "I understand."

The "thank you" I received from this man after selling him his one good set of pictures, was the most sincere, deep, heartfelt "thank you" I think I have ever received from anyone, for anything, ever. Almost made me cry.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So my question is this- take any position in this story- his or mine, or do both- and tell me what you would have preferred. Would you WANT to know what your daughter's pictures were of, even if it spoiled your "angel" view of them, and were graphic? Would you have even had the film developed at all? And if you were in my shoes, how would YOU have handled it?

Jesus.

Um...

I don't think I would want to know. If my daughter hadn't devoloped them after a long period of time I would think that there was a reason. She didn't want anyone to see. I would respect her by not diving into her life. The father here did the right thing. Just because she is gone doesn't mean you can do that.

You handled it perfectly. A true gentlemen. I would have done the same thing... (Yes, I can be nice to people)

Good call. He didn't need to see his daughter giving head.

I honestly think that you did the right job. That's a hard position to put anyone in, especially a stranger you have never met before.

Wow, that's a real toughie....

If I were the father, I would probably not develope the film to begin with, but he did. I would only want to remember children the way I knew them, not the way they were with their friends or whatever.

I applaude you for the way you handled it.

I don't believe you could have handled it better. Good call.

Yes Analog, I think you deserve praise for preserving the memory the way the father would have wanted to. That was commendable.

Hat's off to you.

You did good, very good.

I don't know how I would have handled that situation, but I would hope it would come close to as well as you did. :)

good job at being a true human being

I think BOTH of you made the right call. I can't imagine being on either side of that counter...but, I think you handled it perfectly.

Better job than I would have done. I would have given him the one roll back, and told him the other two were blank, but your solution was much, much better. Well done.

It sounds like he made a good request and you handled it properly. As has been said, he didn't need to see his little girl giving head.

Um, did you, uh, save the third roll? :D

Wow.....

You did exactly the right thing, good job. You handled it with great forethought and kindness. If I were the father, I wouldn't want to see the graphic pictures, and would be hesitant to even get the film developed without being screened by someone else first. If it were my daughter, I'd know almost certainly that she's done some crazy things, but I wouldn't want to know the details.

Excellent way you put the response.

How sad.

You did a very noble thing though. You handled it better then I would have.

Forget about just telling us... that should go in your company policy manual on "how to handle difficult situations". Nice work.

Wow. I am impressed, there is no way I could have handled that as well, or even close.

Surely you are to be likend to a god in customer service.

everyone else has said already what i would...

i definitely admire you for this.

thanks for the post.

I think if I was in your shoes seeing that the pictures arent numbered I would have pulled out the ones that were discriminating against her (ie her going down on some guy , and flashing the camera) and just tossed them as well as the negatives and made up some excuess that the negatives were so tough to expose and in the processe they got destroyed, hand him the pictures and tell him that only a half dozen or so showed up. Hes to upset to think of trivial details of negatives number of pictures on a roll. If he just picked them up out of his daughters room and they were still in the tubes then he wouldnt know one way or the other if it was 12 24 or 36 exposure. Not to mention shes going to have other pictures in photo albums that im sure one day they are going to discover, it would be better for them to find them at a later date in private if there were any disturbing ones then to see them standing in the store in front of a complete stranger.

Damn, that's a good story. Well, not good, but still.
Good for you for handling it so well, and good of the dad to know to say something to you so that you'd screen her pictures.
Well done.

Yeah, you handled that better than I think anyone had hoped for. You did a perfect job--dont feel bad about it. I really admire how you handled the situation.

Dude! I'd like to shake your hand. You handled that situation about as well as anyone could have handled it. C'mon...I'll buy you a drink.

He's lucky I didn't develope the pics because I woulda given them to him. I don't believe that the truth should be hidden in a situation like that.

I give you credit for being nicer then I could ever be.

If I was him I probably would've thrown them away without ever being developed.

Karma smiles down on you. You did a great service to a human being who was hurting.

Man.

I've gotta say, analog, I already had a lot of respect for you. Now I've got more.

I hope I could have handled it with the grace you demonstrated.

Yup, you did good :icare:

The way you handled it was the only way I could imagine any decent person handling it.

Thanks. I don't know what for precisely, but thanks.

If I were that man...

I probably would have asked for what he asked for.

I would have hoped to have been treated exactly as you treated him.

What, am I going to have to be the first to ask for the pictures?

j/k, of course :)

You did the right thing.

Wow.

I must say that you displayed a lot of tact and grace in your manner of speech, not just leaving him to wonder about the second roll, and relaying the information about the third roll in about the best way possible.

I've always enjoyed your posts, and this puts you very high on the list of posters that I have true respect for.

Thank you for your decency as a human being, a trait that few possess to the level that you showed in that situation.

no need to worsen a shitty situation for the guy, you did a good thing. no one ever needs to see those pics and I totally agree with how you handled it. Imagine her folks having to deal with the death alone and then have that come creeping up from down deep too, no thanks!

Wow.

You truely are a good person.

I commend you both!

Damn that takes some guts...hats off to you....you did the best thing you could ever do for a father.

That was really good of you. I don't think I would have been able to handle as delicate a situationa s that.

. But I wonder where he got the idea that something.... err... innappropriate might be on those rolls.

Good Job...very well done.

Aside: How often do you develop pictures of people giving head and flashing the camera? Do you print these without questions or do you ever censor rolls? Was always curious about this...

He was young once, too. We all were. He said he knew she hung out with friends, etc. There could be a million things, but it was definitely more of a "just in case".


Giving head- maybe once a month or so, flashing- maybe once every week or two. There's no censorship where I work. I print everything- except child porn, of course. Child porn is taken care of by the proper people.

Awesome job...

Wow, where I work, Kodak is basically a vendor that rents space in our store. I swear the folks there would have never done what you did. You totally did a great deed for the year...You actually Cared!

If I was the father, I would appreciate what you did since I wouldn't want to remember my daughter as being anything other than my innocent and sweet princess.

Thank you for sharing this with us all.
The Father walked out with a little less pain,and that is a good thing.

wow. that was a very emotional read. i don't think you could have handled the situation better. and the heartfelt thank you from the man just adds that much more appreciation for what you did.