Prince

I've heard of parents who do not allow their children to lock the doors of their rooms.

If you have children, do you allow them to lock their doors, or must the doors always be kept unlocked? If you do not have kids yet, but intend to, which way do you suppose you will feel about this?

My parents never installed a lock on my door, so I did that on my own, as did my brother. It sometimes irritated my parents, but they did not insist we remove the locks.

I fully intend to allow my children to lock their doors. It always provided me with a sense of privacy I felt I was otherwise missing.

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Rlyss

I never had a lock on my door when I was a kid. My dad was a volunteer firefighter for a while when I was young and he'd seen way too many tragedies that could have been avoided if doors weren't locked. So for that reason my parents never installed or offered to install locks.

I think you can feel every bit as safe and private if everyone in the house has a mutual respect for closed doors and everyone else's privacy. Teach your kids to treat closed doors as locked ones. Don't bother opening closed doors, just knock and ask if you can come in and wait until you get a positive response before opening.

That's what I'll teach my kids.

phaedrus

I suggest you keep a key to the lock just in case. My sister tried to kill herself once and I had to break down the door to stop her, a key would have come in handy. Otherwise, I see nothing wrong with giving the kids locks.

CS733t

Once they are a certain age, like 8+

Provides the kids with a much greater sense of privacy, which everyone needs.

However everyone should always knock before entering ANYWHERE.

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Outlander36

I always had a lock on my door as a kid. I loved my privacy while I was doing homework.

tenchi069

I had a lock, but it could be opened with a flathead screwdriver from the otherside if need be. Also if an adult really wanted to get in, breaking the door jam was no problem ( i did it when i was 10 and learned how to fix a door jam ). As far as fire goes, we all knew how to get out of the house, and we all had our bedroom windows to go out. If and when I have kids they will have a lock on their door. Whether they choose to use it is their choice.

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World's King

If you don't lock the door how are you supposed to develope a healthy masturbation habit at?

Now, I didn't have a lock on my door but I did keep it closed and my parents never invaded my room without knocking first.

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lurkette

There's no reason for a kid to lock his/her door. Basic etiquette - knocking first, as in TOK's family - should suffice, plus a "do not disturb" sign for when you just want to be left alone. If you need that much privacy you're probably doing something you shouldn't be doing. And I don't mean whacking off.

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Pragma

I've had locks on my doors, and would definitely allow my kids to have the same.

At least in my mind, there's a large difference between "the door is shut and they probably won't come in" and "the door is locked and they can't come in" in terms of privacy. Now, I've never done anything that warranted that kind of privacy, but it was nice to know it was there for me.

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eribrav

I have to agree with lurkette here. There certainly is no "right" to privacy, and children have to realize that certain rights only happen when they grow up, move out, and become adults.
Having said that, close doors should be respected.

Reese

I think it really depends. I used the lock on my door for more than privacy. I had legos, models, Baseball cards, etc in my room and also had alot of youngsters running around(still do.) 3-4 year olds don't care that a door is locked, or that some of the things in my room are worth more than their souls.

We always had generic locks though, the ones you can open with a penny. It wasn't really meant to keep an adult out permenently, just to stop them from walking in on you. Since it was a kids room you didn't have to worry about them losing the key.

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sixate

I never had a lock, and I didn't need it either. I didn't have nosy parents who would would just walk in or look through my shit when I wasn't there.

If I ever have kids they'll never have a lock on the doors of their rooms in a house that I own. They won't need it either.

intecel

I don't think locks should be on children's doors until they do something that would ruin the trust.

galaxygirl

I wouldn't trust my kids to have locks on their doors - they are 6 and 9. I have already had to break into my own bedroom after the little one licked himself in for provacy and fell asleep. He sleeps through anything, lol. I was poking him with a broom handle through the door opening and he didn't wake up. There was a chain lock on it - fortunately I was able to reach in the opening and unscrew the plate. So, basically for safety reasons, I say no locks.

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Kaos

8+ ???

Kids don't have a RIGHT to privacy. It's supposed to be a PRIVILEDGE after years of earning their parents trust.

16+ would be much more reasonable.

shakran

I wonder if Dyllan Kliebold had a lock on his door.

Nope, my kid won't have a lock on the door. It's a parent's job to be active in the raising of his kid, and that includes having the ability to know what he's up to. I intend to do my job as a parent.

Finchie

I was finally allowed to have a lock on my door once I was 13. I think that once kids hit middle school, they should be given that right. Kids need privacy and a lock gives them a sense of security. I never did anything bad and was a pretty good kid, but I just *needed* to have the door locked. Just like I like to have my house locked, my car in the garage locked, etc. Sometimes you just need to be alone and left to yourself. Of course, my parents had an extra key somewhere, but they never needed to use it. The only reasons I can think of for not letting your pre-teen/teen have a lock are if the kid has mental problems, ie. suicidal, depression, etc. or if he stays in his room all day to the point where you need to bring dinner up to him.

papermachesatan

I went for nearly a year without a locked door once I moved back in with my parents. I had to get a child safety lock for the door(the type you would use to lock cabinet doors) because I couldn't find a lock for the french doors I have. There were just too many uncomfortable incidents revolving around me masturbating/surfing porn and being walked in on.

guthmund

I say if they're old enough or smart enough to install an honest to goodness real locking doorknob, then they've earned the right to lock their doors. Locking doorknobs only all other cheap ass screw it in on the frame crap will not be allowed.

That being said, I had a job at 14-15 and a real busybody sister. My mother couldn't watch her all the time, I couldn't watch her all the time and I couldn't beat her till she learned, but a good quality lock kept her out well enough.

So, you want to take some initiative and install one with your own time and money, then I say go right ahead bucko. If I want in your room bad enough, I know where the axe is.

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BigGov

Hmm, I never really thought about this.

From personal experience I have a few different views. When I was growing up every single door had a lock, but it was a cheap push-and-twist kind of lock. I never would have felt secure locking any of those locks because A) The lock could be easily picked, and B) By the time I was 10 I could have easily punch/kicked through the door itself. This wasn't a problem though because if I ever wanted to be left alone, I closed the door and my family respected that, as I did for them.

Now one of my friends on the other hand, that's completely opposite. He had three locks on his door at one time. The original lock in the knob, a homemade lock that was the type you find in restroom stalls, and a deadbolt. Now, there were numerous reasons why he had all of these, he wanted to piss of his mom, he wanted to keep his mom and his annoying little brother out of his stuff, and he needed the security of knowing that his stuff would either be safe, or know that someone took something.

If you do allow them to have a lock, it would be good to teach them how to kick down a door. Sounds strange, but if you have locks on the doors, you should teach your family how to get around them in an emergency.

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Snakebyt

if my kids are anything like i was growing up, they lock that door, i KNOW there up to no good... but seriously, i dont think ill allow locks, but i will respect there privacy and always knock and wait for a response before entering

Ashton

mattevil

i grew up with locks on my doors and honestly i think i'd never been able to whack off with my parents room being right next door. I agree kocking is a good thing for a parent to do but it always scared the beejesus out of me when i had my pants down and the ensuing scramble was treacherous(watch the zipper)

amonkie

I've had a lock on my door since I've had my room, only time I used it was when my brother would chase me down the hall, and I wanted to keep him out. The general rule of Knock and wait was the standard in our house.

However, locks can be a good thing, if on the OUTSIDE of the door. One 3 yr old kid I watched managed to lock the door on the inside, and his dad couldn't get in without breaking the door. But move the lock to the outside, and viola, you've got a way to keep the kids in the room during naptime!

Me personally, I would hope to teach my kids to have enough respect for each other, so they don't feel the need to lock their doors for privacy or security reasons.

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shakran

Yeah, you'll think that's a REAL good idea when the fire starts.

Why can't you just tell the kid to stay in his room, and then if he disobeys you there are consequences. Sure, that's a little more work than locking him in (which btw most likely violates your local fire codes) but parenting isn't supposed to be easy.

BlueBongo

I do not currently have children and do not have plans to any time in the near to far future.. but who knows. Growing up with a child molester in my home... I made my mother not only put a lock on the door but also a chain because I did not want anyone coming into my room other than me..... well, when I was home. And that was when I was in 5th grade. Mind you if my children ever told me someone molested them I would believe them instead of continuing to let the children cohabitate with the bastard..... but my mother is a weak individual, so in essence, when I do have children I will not prohibit them from having a lock on their door if they ask, but I have no idea if that will ever be an issue... time will tell I suppose.

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grumpyolddude

BlueBongo's case is tragic and is one example of a lock being a neccessity, not just a priviledge.

That said, however, I must take the position that, in general, children should not be able to lock their rooms. I agree with Lurkette's comments:

"There's no reason for a kid to lock his/her door. Basic etiquette - knocking first, as in TOK's family - should suffice, plus a "do not disturb" sign for when you just want to be left alone. If you need that much privacy you're probably doing something you shouldn't be doing. And I don't mean whacking off."

are right on point. A parent has the responsibility to create a safe and loving environment for their children. I believe that this includes being aware of what your children are doing and being satisfied that what they are doing is personally and socially appropriate (no, I don't care if my 15 year old is jerking off, but I would be disturbed to find he was building pipe bombs while locked in his room).

By letting a child lock his room, you are surrendering your decision-making authority to them. With a few execptions, such as in BlueBongo's situation, children are not qualified to decide when to lock or not lock the door. In a healthy home, they should never have to.

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moonstrucksoul

i guess the point is raise children who don't feel the need to lock the doors of their bedroom. but at somepoint, everyone feels they need a little privacy, so you would have to make them feel secure about the privacy of their room from a earlier age.

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torn lace

I was always sternly told to NOT lock my door, though the door had a lock. My mom would get severely upset with me if she tried to open it and it was locked.

I agree that children should not have locks on doors, for safety purposes, which was my mom's reason for being upset, however, my mom also had the tendency to knock, and then just open the door anyway without giving me the chance to give any sort of response what so ever. I always get furious about that. even thinking about it now is getting me upset!!

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Smoky

I have locks on my kids doors. When they are well behaved, I unlock the door and let them out.

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Halx

I think I put a lock on my door finally when I was 18. My mom wasn't too thrilled, but I left a key on top of the door frame just in case. The luck simply prevented the casual intrusion that my mom was so careless about.

Now, in our new house, I'm starting to feel the need to lock my door again. Either that, or move out.

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rockzilla

My brother used to steal from me, a lot. After countless beatings didn't discourage this, I bought a lock for my room, I was about 17 at the time, and he was 12. The lock didn't really do anything, it just made him work a little harder to get at my stuff. So I moved out. That was the only reason I've ever felt I've needed to lock my room.

A friend of mine has parents who loved to snoop around though, they were shameless about it too. Not a week went by where "the dog" didn't find something that was stuck on a high shelf, or between some books. "The dog" once found some 'magic love powder' left over from when my friend went through a wiccan phase, her parents freaked out, thinking it was cocaine.

I guess the point I'm making here is, if you're a parent, don't snoop or your children will never trust you. And if you're a child, and want your privacy, get your own place, it's the only way to make sure.

skysooner

Locks are bad just from the firefighting aspect, but if I had parents who snooped when I was living with them, I might have felt differently. We have a lock on our bedroom door just for the simple sake of keeping the kids (4 and 7) out while we have sex. They also know when the lock goes on they are to stay away. Our 7 year old wanted privacy, so we give him a "Do Not Disturb" sign which he puts on the door. That is the signal for the 4 year old not to bother him and for us to knock.

krwlz

Nosey parents just breed better hiding spots/skills. A skill that everyone ought to have.

Ive never had a lock on my door, and I wish that I had. Never got in trouble per say, but it would have been nice at times.

Jam

i have no lock, never have.. my mom used to clean my room and like go through everything... for some reason she cleans my brothers from time to time too..

i learn when mine needs to be cleaned up to prevent one of these "inspections"

i hat not having alock... i woke up and my mom was in my room and she just grabbed some dishes and left... i dont like people around me when im sleeping.. its creepy

MSD

I always had a lock. It was one of those stupid ones that can be opened with a penny or fingernail. Not only did my parents and brother not knock, they'd just unlock the door and burst in. Any time I had it locked, someone wanted to come in. My parents both developed the skill of turning the lock with a thumbnail and turning the knob with the same twist o fthe wrist, completely negating teh effect of the lock. It didn't matter what time it was, what I was doing, my mom opened the door whenever she wanted to. My dad rarely did, only when it was really necessary. He would always knock. My mom, on the other hand, finally stopped opening my door without permission a couple of months ago (I'll be 20 next week.) Before that, she always assumed that having my door shut meant that I was doing something I shouldn't. She'd just unlock and open, not enough time to close my e-mail, cover up while getting dressed, stop whatevet I was doing. If it were up to her, I wouldn't have had a door. In fact, my 15-year-old brother doesn't have a door because she broke it down when he wouldn't open it. She doesn't want to put it back up. She still searches my room ("I'm cleaning") and does teh same to my brother. She thinks it's dangerous tho have paintball guns, so I hide those, she doesn't think anyone other than deranged lunatics would own pellet guns, so I hid those, and I won't contemplate what she'd do if she found my crossbow. She treats me like I'm still 10 years old.

This is why I'll never do that to my kids. They'll have locks to keep out siblings, and I'll wait after knocking for them to open the door or tell me to come in.

juanvaldes

let them. I can always break down the door in a emergency.

floydthebarber

I didn't have one and my kids don't have one now. My parents were respectfull of my privacy, so I never had to worry about locking the door. I also moved out when I was 18, not like alot of kids these days living at home till they are in their mid twenties or older.

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GakFace

Never had a lock on my door. Sure, every now and then people don't knock, they like to open the door, and sometimes just to see if i'm doing something they don't like. Sounds like it sucks right? Instead I have developed a keen sense of hearing. Just from the footstep down the hall I know exactly who might come to my room. Mind you the hallway has carpet. There are times they'll barge in and I don't hear, and it sucks... but then again, I'm still living at home right? Well, then thats the price I pay

I always just have my door shut, and people rarely bother me. Sure if I was looking at porn or something I'd want to lock my door, but other than that... I really don't care if people are in my room. (which would lead to the comment from SnakeByt, "they lock that door, i KNOW there up to no good... ") Yeah door locked = something not good in parents eyes. I have a good relationship with one of my sisters, and we just hang out in eachother's rooms sometimes, so its no biggie. Heck, thanks to her she's closed some porn on my computer so that my parents wouldn't see it.. or the time I accidently shared it on the network...... hehe. Cases like that, I'm kinda glad there was no lock. Yeah yeah the lock would stop the parents? When a parent wants to look in a child's room.. they diable the handle to get in. Also, I'm a very deep sleeper, It took me a long time just to hear my alarms... I have three of them going off 5-7 minutes from eachother.. I don't open my eyes till the 2nd now.. used to be the third.... I doubt I'll ever wake to the first. From this.. if there's a Fire, I'm in huge trouble as I'd sleep throught it. My parents could come to my room and pull me off my bed and onto the floor and I'd still continue to sleep probably. I also don't want to be in my room asleep with the door locked and a tornado comes by. Indiana has tornado's every year... One finally hit my city a few years back.... about 4 of them all at once... Room with 2 windows and lots of things that could fly around and kill me.... no thanks I'll risk it without that lock.

The only real use for the lock is if your fucking your g/f or b/f... and if the parents are home, you're already risking a lot right there... now if they want in.. I think you're already screwed.

Just shut the door and let it be known what it means... and then just make sure to leave the door open sometimes to help enforce what a closed door means.

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sailor

I always had a lock, and I was thankful for it--when you have two younger brothers, it can get quite annoying when they decide they need to annoy you some more. It was a lock that was very easy to pick though (and I do mean *very*--you could do it in about 2 seconds, literally, with a pencil), but it served its purpose.

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