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Old 08-26-2003, 05:03 AM   #1 (permalink)
Addict
 
Location: Canada
True Porn Clerk Stories

http://www.improvisation.ws/mb/tpcs1.php

Too many words to copy and paste here. Some of them are really funny. Enjoy.
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Old 08-26-2003, 05:16 AM   #2 (permalink)
Tilted
 
Location: Mandeville, LA
Now that was funny!!!
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Old 08-26-2003, 05:59 AM   #3 (permalink)
On the lam
 
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Location: northern va
interesting shokan--thank god for internet porn.
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Old 08-26-2003, 06:03 AM   #4 (permalink)
Overreactor
 
Location: South Ca'lina
I've seen these before, and they're funny and insightful. I couldn't imagine having that job, knowing the people and *substances* you would encounter.
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Old 08-26-2003, 06:15 AM   #5 (permalink)
Junkie
 
Location: Canada eh?
Funny and just a little sad. All in all it doesn't seem much worse than any other souless minimum wage job like convience store clerk or janitor.
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Old 08-26-2003, 06:40 AM   #6 (permalink)
I and I
 
Location: Stillwater, OK
Funny stuff. That's one job I'd like to steer clear of.
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Old 08-26-2003, 07:03 AM   #7 (permalink)
Bokonist
 
Location: Location, Location, Location...
hilarious....should be a movie
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Old 08-26-2003, 10:28 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Location: Virginia
Interesting and amusing at the same time. .
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Old 08-26-2003, 10:35 AM   #9 (permalink)
A Real American
 
Holo's Avatar
 
Here's my page about my 2 year career as a porn store worker. It's really shitty quality as I knew jack about HTML then, but it's readable. I hated this job's customers with a passion so much of the dialogue is negative. I haven't changed it so I would remember why I left.

There are no ads making me money so it's not spam on my end.


http://www.darksites.com/souls/goth/psd1/index.htm
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Old 08-26-2003, 11:17 AM   #10 (permalink)
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Administrator
Location: Manhattan, NY
haven't read this in a long time...
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Old 08-26-2003, 12:19 PM   #11 (permalink)
Banned
 
Location: shittown, CA
great stories Holo
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Old 08-26-2003, 12:54 PM   #12 (permalink)
Psycho
 
Location: New Orleans
Weird stories - couldn't deal with those folks every day
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Old 08-26-2003, 02:35 PM   #13 (permalink)
Ssssssssss
 
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Location: Ontario
I' ve seen that website before and read through it over a few days. Funny stuff
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Old 08-26-2003, 02:39 PM   #14 (permalink)
Buk
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Location: Seattle, WA
I still have that site bookmarked after reading it a year or 2 ago. Pretty funny and sobering stuff in there, really makes you think about how weird some people are and their hangups.
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Old 08-26-2003, 05:03 PM   #15 (permalink)
He's My Girl
 
Location: The Champagne Douche
Feel sorry for the clerks who need money that desperately to put up with weirdos and sexual deviants on a daily basis.
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Old 08-26-2003, 06:20 PM   #16 (permalink)
Psycho
 
The best story from Shokan's link was Mr. Tint and his "Who's Your Daddy" line.

"He called back: "Who's your daddy?" I hung up again. I mentioned to the other clerks on duty that I'd just fielded two prank calls from the same idiot and when I told them what he'd said they almost strangled me with the phone cord. Apparently that was Mr. Tint's way of saying hello. Once you correctly identified him as your daddy, he'd bring by food.

Lots of food. Enough for everybody to eat dinner and then some."
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Old 08-26-2003, 10:29 PM   #17 (permalink)
Upright
 
Mr. Pig, haha that stuffs gold.
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Old 08-27-2003, 01:02 AM   #18 (permalink)
Tilted
 
Location: Sunny California
saw this posted on fark.com a few months ago...hillarious
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Old 08-27-2003, 01:06 AM   #19 (permalink)
Crazy
 
Location: CA
that was worth a click
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Old 08-27-2003, 09:17 AM   #20 (permalink)
shit faced cockmaster
 
legolas's Avatar
 
Location: CT
Hahahaha, that was great. Too much to read now but it's on favs.
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Old 08-27-2003, 03:39 PM   #21 (permalink)
don't ignore this-->
 
bermuDa's Avatar
 
Location: CA
over the past few days I read all four pages. She's quite a talented writer (and definitely wasn't lacking in interesting subject matter), and I'd be happy to read more of her work

and I have a few video clerk friends... they say the splooge-on-the-tape thing is unbelievably common.
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Old 08-27-2003, 07:38 PM   #22 (permalink)
Addict
 
That was some good reading.
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Old 08-27-2003, 08:28 PM   #23 (permalink)
Insane
 
Location: San Diego, CA
How would you get splooge on the tape. You would have to put it in, start whackin, and then right before you blow, you eject the tape and spew on it.

Unless you meant on the covers, that makes sense.
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Old 08-27-2003, 09:39 PM   #24 (permalink)
You + Me = Us
 
Location: California dreaming...
Nah. You spooge on your hand and then take out the tape before cleaning up. Pretty damn nasty if you ask me.
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Old 08-27-2003, 10:02 PM   #25 (permalink)
Crazy
 
Location: INCONUS
These are some good reads man.
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Old 08-28-2003, 03:33 AM   #26 (permalink)
Loser
 
Yay Ali! I'd read TPCS every day (and still have it as one of my few 'link' buttons) since she had just started page 2. Was so sad when she quit....now I read Trials of Chastity on the same message board.
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Old 08-28-2003, 03:45 AM   #27 (permalink)
Insane
 
Location: USA
Fascinating........particularly the 'polite fiction' theory.
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Old 08-28-2003, 08:22 AM   #28 (permalink)
Vyk
Insane
 
Location: Dayton, Ohio
pretty darn funny. thanks for sharing that. She's a good writer.
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Old 08-28-2003, 11:59 AM   #29 (permalink)
Upright
 
Location: Australia
very entertaining and well written.

thanks for posting it.
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Old 08-28-2003, 12:40 PM   #30 (permalink)
Tilted
 
Good stuff. I don't think I'd ever get into that business though... as good as porn is.
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Old 08-28-2003, 01:59 PM   #31 (permalink)
Archangel of Change
 
Good stuff, funny.
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Old 08-28-2003, 02:00 PM   #32 (permalink)
Insane
 
Location: San Diego, CA
poor guy...
Quote:
He had snaked his right arm up underneath his coat and it was moving rhythmically.-snip-

PUT IT AWAY AND GET OUT!

He dropped the box he'd been holding and whipped around, eyes huge with astonishment.

He had been scratching his stomach.
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Old 08-28-2003, 06:48 PM   #33 (permalink)
Insane
 
Location: New York, NY
That job really sucks.
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Old 08-28-2003, 06:58 PM   #34 (permalink)
Loser
 
Yes!!! I think CONSTANTLY of the topic of 'polite fiction'...like, my parents know I drink on weekends (I'm 20) but they don't ask and I don't say, and we both pretend that none of the parties I go to have alcohol...it's just easier that way.
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Old 08-28-2003, 08:01 PM   #35 (permalink)
Flailing White Boy
 
Location: Cincinnati
Very entertaining, and suprisingly well-written for what it is. Great find!!
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Old 08-28-2003, 10:00 PM   #36 (permalink)
Insane
 
Location: Alaska
Very funny stories, thanks for the link!
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Old 08-28-2003, 10:52 PM   #37 (permalink)
Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men?
 
Speed_Gibson's Avatar
 
Location: right here of course
gives me new appreciation for my job - much more physical but I would prefer working with developmentally disabled people over over that kind of retail CU anyday
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Old 08-28-2003, 11:12 PM   #38 (permalink)
Pasture Bedtime
 
That's a great site. It's too bad she stopped writing. She's a phenomenal writer.
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Old 08-29-2003, 08:49 PM   #39 (permalink)
Crazy
 
interesting and funny, although the author sounds like a guy!
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Old 08-30-2003, 09:59 AM   #40 (permalink)
Insane
 
Location: Calgary, AB
hahahhaha gold
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