rockzilla

Have you ever had a job you hated? Have your most satisfying times of the day ever been when you were fantasizing about how you could quit your crappy job in the most memorable way possible? Have you ever actually followed through on any of these fantasies?

I used to work at Red Lobster, towards my last few months, I was getting more and more jaded. I had already begun looking for a new job, and was looking forward to the day when I could shove my fish-stanked apron in my boss' face.

My original plan was to use a plastic squeeze bottle full of bleach to decorate the dining room floor with a few of my favorite profanities, but instead decided on a game of 'Hide and go Shrimp' in which I discreetly placed shrimp about kitchen, the manager's office in particular. I imagine it got pretty funky until someone found days-old shrimp behind the desk. It was a few years later that I heard of taking apart a swiveling chair and hiding shrimp in the chair, failing to think of that is my biggest regret in life.

Cynthetiq

I have never sunk that low. IMHO it's cowardly. If I'm going to do something, I'm going to stick around and see the aftermath.... I play pranks on my friends and family instead.

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I don't care if you are black, white, purple, green, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, hippie, cop, bum, admin, user, English, Irish, French, Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, indian, cowboy, tall, short, fat, skinny, emo, punk, mod, rocker, straight, gay, lesbian, jock, nerd, geek, Democrat, Republican, Libertarian, Independent, driver, pedestrian, or bicyclist, either you're an asshole or you're not.

JumpinJesus

I've had a few crappy jobs, but I'm too much of a chicken to burn any bridges. I did have a friend, however, who quit in a funny manner.

She worked in the bakery of a grocery store working midnights. Her boss was a real jerk to her. One night, she had enough. She was supposed to have 4 birthday cakes decorated by the time the morning shift came on. she wrote "I quit" in icing on each cake, then left.

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"I can normally tell how intelligent a man is by how stupid he thinks I am" - Cormac McCarthy, All The Pretty Horses

Slims

Shrimp? I imagine a live lobster or two would yield much better results.

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"Socialism is a philosophy of failure, the creed of ignorance, and the gospel of envy, its inherent virtue is the equal sharing of misery." - Winston Churchill

"All men dream: but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find that it was vanity: but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act out their dream with open eyes, to make it possible." Seven Pillars of Wisdom, T.E. Lawrence

MSD

I constantly thought of burning down my old workplace, asbotaging merchandise, stuff like that. I didn't do it, but it made me feel a lot better to think about it.

obediah

I worked at a saw mill for a few days as an under 18 year old teen. It was nasty work in a 120F+ envronment, and my eployment was completely illegal and bringing me minimum wage.
I got stuck on detail at the "masher" machine which basically turned poor quality cuts of wood into wood chips. It was a row of semi tires filled with cement and metal studs to grind up the wood into chips. Sometimes it would get stuck, and you were supposed to jump down into the rending pit and poke at the stuck wood while dodging the incoming wood (stopping the conveyor belt was a big no-no). My time came to unstick the wood, and my response was "Fuck that, I have goals in life" The machine broke and everyone got layed off for a week until it was fixed (without me). Best decision of my life.

bundy

i worked at a cafe once, which was run by people who couldn´t organise a piss-up in a brewery.
to make it worse, every week (i only stuck around for 3 of them), they changed my rate of pay... each time using new and sad excuses.
and it wasn´t just me they were trying to screw... it was pretty much everyone else.
a few other people who left before i did used to hang around out the front of the place and tell customers (loudly) about how shit the place was.
morons.
after three weeks, i just walked.
sad thing is, they´re still operating, and probably still screwing workers.

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Ohayo!!!

Soggybagel

Basically I've always considered totally screwing stuff up. Stealing, figuring out ways to ruin the business and what not. I have never followed through though....unfortunatly.

laxative

i backed into my boss's car and drove off once. i consistently manipulate the times on orders and shit on the computers at work so it looks like everything's really running like horribly.

Destrox

If it fucks over your fellow employee's which did nothing to you; why hurt them? Otherwise your just an asshole for doing somthing.

Personal acts against the boss, manager or whatever; those are fine by me.

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You bore me.... next.

LittleOralAnnie

I worked at a fast food joint once. I didn't want to harm anyone, damage property or anything like that. That would not only cause harm to others but would also make you look like a total idiot.

What I did was tame. I already had another job I had just gotten and within a month I was offered a full time position with them. I kept complaining at the manager how lazy I felt they were and that I could run circles around them. I told her I was tired of having to do all the work myself. She asked if I wanted to leave and I said.. "Yes as a matter of fact I do. I have a better job, with good people who aren't lazy. I'm not leaving because you asked, I am leaving because I QUIT!"

I threw my nametag and apron on the counter and gathered my belongings. Just as I opened the door in a huff, I turned around and the second the door shut, I yelled "FUCK YOU!" hehe

Mael

exactly. that's why when someone you work with that is a bit disgruntled quits, pull the prank, and it's a double whammy because you pull the prank, and everyone thinks that person did it.

fearofmear

I take the adult way out of things and don't play elaborate pranks before I quit. I quit with two weeks notice with adult, keeping my dignity.

Ralvek

if office space has taught us anything it's that you can just show up and fuck around all day without getting fired!

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Ban country music, it promotes inbreeding.

World's King

I've never like a single one of my fucking jobs.


I've just never cared enough to get that pissed about it.

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heavy is the head that wears the crown

Looften

If I'm lazy enough to put so little effort into my work, it'd hardly make sense bothering to form some elaborate plot.

The_Jazz

I had a job as an estimator for a landscaping company once. The company really screwed me over by telling me that it was a sales position with a great training program, etc., but then they just kept me out in the field and wouldn't let me sell.

I was friendly with the national sales manager and finally got fed up. I decided to move back east and got out of my lease, found a new place here, etc. The day before I moved, I went to work like nothing was any different. I called the sales manager, told him that I'd decided to make a change and thanked him for his support (he's pretty cool, and we still talk from time to time). I went into my boss's office right after lunch (she was a major bitch) and told her that I was giving my 2 weeks notice. She tried to talk me out of it until I told her that I was also taking 2 weeks vacation starting the next day. I walked out of her office and went home. They even paid me for the 2 weeks.

The two things that I learned from this story is to cultivate friends in high places and that if you're never going to walk over the bridge again, there's no harm burning it. I moved to another timezone and changed industries. Anything that Harriett has to say about me can't hurt me, and that still brings a smile to my face.

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"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety." - B. Franklin
"There ought to be limits to freedom." - George W. Bush
"We have met the enemy and he is us." - Pogo