Content with life but ready to die? - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

DRP976 · 05-29-2011, 07:19 PM

Taken from someone's blog:

"Yah…you read it right. I’m ready to die. Now don’t go calling the cops and telling them you have a suicide on your hands…that’s not what I mean by “I’m ready to die”.

Here’s what I mean. I’m content. My life has been full. I’ve loved and lost and loved and lost and if I live long enough, I’ll love again.

I’ve not only been to the mountaintop of life…but I’ve gone storming down the other side…crashing through the canebrake, charging through the jungle until I’ve broken into the clearing and have watched the morning sun burn off the dew.

I’ve been falsely accused of things by people that thought they were “doing God’s will”. I’ve been pestered and bothered by people who never took the time to know the real me…only their perception of me.

I’ve seen Paris at midnight, watched the changing of the guard at Buckingham Palace, thrown coins into Trevi Fountain, and sat out a rainstorm at the amazing Angkor Wat Temple.

I’m 50 something years old, just had quadruple bypass surgery and now I’m looking to ride 1500 miles with the Fuller Center in the north to south bike run this summer. I’m gonna live until I die.

I can talk to anybody about anything. I’ve only been speechless three times in my life: 1) When I first held my baby daughter, 2) When I saw Becky walk down the aisle at our wedding 30+ years ago, and 3) Anytime Elizabeth smiles at me.

I’ve lived in community and I’ve learned to put other people’s thoughts, feelings, desires, hopes, fears and dreams before my own. I’ve learned that war is not the answer; we only have one spaceship Earth, so we’d better take better care of it and injustice to one anywhere is injustice to all everywhere.

I’m not a preppy type guy…never was, never will be. I’ll never be a wimpy attorney who hides behind a woman at the first sign of perceived danger. My outfits will probably never match and I’ll always look more like Grizzly Adams than Dobie Gillis.

But….

I’m ready to die tonight.

I can die happy and content. If Mark Twain was right, I can look back on my life without regrets. Good ol’ Mark said, “In twenty years it’s not the things that you did that you’ll regret…it’s the things you didn’t do”. I’ve done just about everything I’ve wanted to do. If it felt good, tasted good, or smelled good…hell, I probably did it twice."

Now I im 24 and I have not experienced all the stuff this man has but I am ready to die. Not that my life is is bad, as the title states I am content with life. I have great friends, wonderful family, decent health, etc. But thing is im just thinking...if I were to go then whats next? Im just curious to see if there really is a heaven/hell but thats religious talk so we will keep that outta of this. My point is do you think its normal to be content with life but not mind dying/be ready to die? Whats your feelings? Now this doesnt apply to the people who hate their lives and wanna die to "end it all", this is for the people who are content/happy but wouldnt mind dying. Ya know kinda like its time to leave this earth and its been a good run but now its time to see whats next? Discuss.

Jetée · 05-29-2011, 08:15 PM

I'm the dictionary's image insert for normal, and I cannot care less if I live or die.

Longer, Wall-of-Text response click to show

I've known some friends like this. They can go through the daily gauntlet that life serves, and come out with moments of fleeting happiness at the end of the (working) week, but then they also go ahead to state that if it were to end tonight, tomorrow, next week, by way of an unforeseeable tragedy, a home invader, or some marauding shark, they would be 'content' in the knowledge that they die. Die, as in marked death. I'm none too sure of how to expand on this, as I'm just paraphrasing a few pals' remarked thoughts on life's "underworld stage".

I have basically the same mindset, so perhaps it'd serve the better to broaden the ideal of being OK with the "being hit by a bus tomorrow" scenario. I'm a hopeful pessimist, in however you might like to spin that short descriptor of an individual's personality. I haven't accomplished much, I've long abandoned thinking without prompt, and am thoroughly, and merely, trodding in my travels through waking existence. I suppose it wouldn't matter, nor would I curse it, if I, alone, vanished from existence four hours from now. I love life, and would like to continue exploring it, but there's nothing really that frightens me about death (save for examining the countless scenario in which I could go). Life, take it or leave it.

I hate coming back here and seeing that nothing has been maintained/changed and/or noticed, but that's not putting the fault on anyone. Everyone has their own and unique burden to bear, and while I segment my life into oblivion, I will state that my one true goal here, at the TFP, is to proliferate and dispense knowledge, and have it stick (re: I'd like anything/everything I share to be catalogued into the archives, so I can forget about it tomorrow, yet remind myself when I need to, years from now). It's not much, but I give this community a special metaphorical totem of my own existence, in totality. There are stages, places, friends, strangers, awkward situations, fond / sad memories, and milestones, but if it were all to end, the only thing that would have me upset in my passing would have everything I worked in / towards portraying, being swept away with me.

I'll be darned. If the above blog post was written in the TFP, (recently) I wonder if some one else here finally found out that I, too, was quoting Twain as the bridge between life, death, and the bridge that connnects the two, through memories / dreams. .../my own random aside

I suppose if this thread gets axed / reincarnated into a slashed point of contention, I could offer up the scenario that, say if you, the reader, were to contract a vicious, horribly-agonizing and terminal cancer, then given only ~1-4 months to live, (make up your own timeline of expiration here) how would you handle the news? I think I've misread something up until this point.

Anyway: I'm only happy occasionally, I've at least got something to eat everyday, I've loved others but not had much love meet me in return, and I'm pretty much planning out my life as if I had ~20-infinite-years left, but... yeah. OK. I'd be content with dying any day now, if it comes to it. I wouldn't haunt the living for what-if were to occur, unless to see if it is possible (to haunt). It gets easier to let go once you've established / lost the reasons that hold you in place.

As a quick reply: (to the OP)
Did you seek to ask the permission of posting the above blog entry, as the starting point to this discussion? I'm not playing the stickler today, but I'm none too sure that some others in higher places than I, might have an issue with using another member's immediate thoughts as a jumping-off point for a hypothetical in which any one of us has to analyse un-/foreseeable death, and how to handle it. I can easily infer and understand that this may be a truly sensitive thing to point out, as it could easily read as one person's "farewell" writtance, it doesn't inherently mean that [un]said person is in the wrong/right/insane. It may just mean you and I misinterpreted the key phrase being: "I'm ready to die tonight". This just sounds as though one is openly inviting death to come to them, instead of better phrasing their mind's thought of If I were to die tonight, I would die happy, without regrets, and in peace.

GreyWolf · 05-30-2011, 06:18 AM

I was ready to die when I was 30. Well, not ready, but it wouldn't have bothered me that much. Then came my kids. They are still young, and at home, and I simply cannot die. I have responsibilities that I absolutely must attend to. Dying holds little fear for me, but whereas it would have only been an inconvenience/annoyance when I was 30, now it is something I MUST avoid until I have made certain that my children can fend for themselves.

As for the blogger in the OP, I understand completely what he's saying, but I'm 10 years away from that point right now.

Craven Morehead · 05-30-2011, 06:53 AM

I'll be 59 in a few months and completely understand this man's feelings. While I'm not ready to die but if death came for me I would not feel cheated, not one bit. Life is an experience or more accurately a collection of experiences, some so very personal that I wouldn't think of even sharing them here anonymously. By the time you reach reach your late 50s you realize the moments in your life that have given your life the most meaning have passed and due to age won't ever be repeated, mainly family. His speechless moments are all family related. So are mine and they come only during a period in your life that can't be recreated later on. There will be other significant moments yet to come but none will compare to what I experienced in the past 30. So when I look at my life, I don't feel cheated. If it were to end now, it's been full. Maybe when a person comes to that realization they are ready to die, not that I want to, but yeah, maybe I am ready.

MeltedMetalGlob · 05-30-2011, 07:18 AM

I'm not ready yet- every time I scratch something off my "bucket list", I add something else. I always want something to look forward to- it keeps me from getting stagnant.

So, in short I don't think I'll ever be ready. But that's just me.

Ourcrazymodern? · 05-31-2011, 09:39 AM

Jetee, I'm more than content to know you're not dead yet.

flat5 · 05-31-2011, 09:40 AM

I'm ready but if someone offered me ice cream I'd want to live a little longer.

Cynthetiq · 05-31-2011, 10:10 AM

I thought I was ready when I was in my 20's. Every time I go someplace in the world, I'm awed by something new and exciting. I'm filled with many memories of places, faces, and flavors.

I try to believe that I'm ready everyday. Today is a good day to die. I just don't want today to be that day.

---------- Post added at 02:10 PM ---------- Previous post was at 02:08 PM ----------

Here's the original blog link:

I’m Ready to Die JourneyAmerica

Baraka_Guru · 05-31-2011, 10:37 AM

Being ready to die includes getting over the delusion that we have ownership over our bodies. We don't. We are basically borrowing our physical existence, and we have to give it up when we're done with it, which, for most of us, is fewer than 80 or so years.

Another aspect of this is getting over our clinging to being, to experiences, to things. Being ready to die means letting go of a lot of things.

I don't know whether I've reached that point yet. I don't think so. I still have too much craving regarding things I think I should do, should have done, or things I want to do.

No, I don't think I'm ready. I still have some work to do.

Strange Famous · 05-31-2011, 12:53 PM

Honestly I feel most of my adult life I have been trudging through the motions.

I work at a job I like ok, but isnt exactly fulfilling. I come home from work and play video games or watch TV.

Since November when I moved, I dont have any friends were I live, most weekends I dont speak to anyone, or if I do its the guy in the local shop when I go and buy junk food rather than cook.

I dont really know how to get out of this rut, as I am not an outgoing person and I dont really know how to go about making new mates.

But to not go too far off subject, I have always been scared of death (I had to have counselling when I was 19 because I had anxiety attacks based on my fears) - the counseller at the time suggested it might be an expression of my discontent with how my life was... perhaps he was right, but 14 years later I havent figured it out much better.

05-29-2011, 07:19 PM	#1 (permalink)
DRP976 Tilted Location: California	Content with life but ready to die? Taken from someone's blog: "Yah…you read it right. I’m ready to die. Now don’t go calling the cops and telling them you have a suicide on your hands…that’s not what I mean by “I’m ready to die”. Here’s what I mean. I’m content. My life has been full. I’ve loved and lost and loved and lost and if I live long enough, I’ll love again. I’ve not only been to the mountaintop of life…but I’ve gone storming down the other side…crashing through the canebrake, charging through the jungle until I’ve broken into the clearing and have watched the morning sun burn off the dew. I’ve been falsely accused of things by people that thought they were “doing God’s will”. I’ve been pestered and bothered by people who never took the time to know the real me…only their perception of me. I’ve seen Paris at midnight, watched the changing of the guard at Buckingham Palace, thrown coins into Trevi Fountain, and sat out a rainstorm at the amazing Angkor Wat Temple. I’m 50 something years old, just had quadruple bypass surgery and now I’m looking to ride 1500 miles with the Fuller Center in the north to south bike run this summer. I’m gonna live until I die. I can talk to anybody about anything. I’ve only been speechless three times in my life: 1) When I first held my baby daughter, 2) When I saw Becky walk down the aisle at our wedding 30+ years ago, and 3) Anytime Elizabeth smiles at me. I’ve lived in community and I’ve learned to put other people’s thoughts, feelings, desires, hopes, fears and dreams before my own. I’ve learned that war is not the answer; we only have one spaceship Earth, so we’d better take better care of it and injustice to one anywhere is injustice to all everywhere. I’m not a preppy type guy…never was, never will be. I’ll never be a wimpy attorney who hides behind a woman at the first sign of perceived danger. My outfits will probably never match and I’ll always look more like Grizzly Adams than Dobie Gillis. But…. I’m ready to die tonight. I can die happy and content. If Mark Twain was right, I can look back on my life without regrets. Good ol’ Mark said, “In twenty years it’s not the things that you did that you’ll regret…it’s the things you didn’t do”. I’ve done just about everything I’ve wanted to do. If it felt good, tasted good, or smelled good…hell, I probably did it twice." Now I im 24 and I have not experienced all the stuff this man has but I am ready to die. Not that my life is is bad, as the title states I am content with life. I have great friends, wonderful family, decent health, etc. But thing is im just thinking...if I were to go then whats next? Im just curious to see if there really is a heaven/hell but thats religious talk so we will keep that outta of this. My point is do you think its normal to be content with life but not mind dying/be ready to die? Whats your feelings? Now this doesnt apply to the people who hate their lives and wanna die to "end it all", this is for the people who are content/happy but wouldnt mind dying. Ya know kinda like its time to leave this earth and its been a good run but now its time to see whats next? Discuss.

05-29-2011, 08:15 PM	#2 (permalink)
Jetée The Reforms Location: Rarely, if ever, here or there, but always in transition	I'm the dictionary's image insert for normal, and I cannot care less if I live or die. Longer, Wall-of-Text response click to show I've known some friends like this. They can go through the daily gauntlet that life serves, and come out with moments of fleeting happiness at the end of the (working) week, but then they also go ahead to state that if it were to end tonight, tomorrow, next week, by way of an unforeseeable tragedy, a home invader, or some marauding shark, they would be 'content' in the knowledge that they die. Die, as in marked death. I'm none too sure of how to expand on this, as I'm just paraphrasing a few pals' remarked thoughts on life's "underworld stage". I have basically the same mindset, so perhaps it'd serve the better to broaden the ideal of being OK with the "being hit by a bus tomorrow" scenario. I'm a hopeful pessimist, in however you might like to spin that short descriptor of an individual's personality. I haven't accomplished much, I've long abandoned thinking without prompt, and am thoroughly, and merely, trodding in my travels through waking existence. I suppose it wouldn't matter, nor would I curse it, if I, alone, vanished from existence four hours from now. I love life, and would like to continue exploring it, but there's nothing really that frightens me about death (save for examining the countless scenario in which I could go). Life, take it or leave it. I hate coming back here and seeing that nothing has been maintained/changed and/or noticed, but that's not putting the fault on anyone. Everyone has their own and unique burden to bear, and while I segment my life into oblivion, I will state that my one true goal here, at the TFP, is to proliferate and dispense knowledge, and have it stick (re: I'd like anything/everything I share to be catalogued into the archives, so I can forget about it tomorrow, yet remind myself when I need to, years from now). It's not much, but I give this community a special metaphorical totem of my own existence, in totality. There are stages, places, friends, strangers, awkward situations, fond / sad memories, and milestones, but if it were all to end, the only thing that would have me upset in my passing would have everything I worked in / towards portraying, being swept away with me. I'll be darned. If the above blog post was written in the TFP, (recently) I wonder if some one else here finally found out that I, too, was quoting Twain as the bridge between life, death, and the bridge that connnects the two, through memories / dreams. .../my own random aside I suppose if this thread gets axed / reincarnated into a slashed point of contention, I could offer up the scenario that, say if you, the reader, were to contract a vicious, horribly-agonizing and terminal cancer, then given only ~1-4 months to live, (make up your own timeline of expiration here) how would you handle the news? I think I've misread something up until this point. Anyway: I'm only happy occasionally, I've at least got something to eat everyday, I've loved others but not had much love meet me in return, and I'm pretty much planning out my life as if I had ~20-infinite-years left, but... yeah. OK. I'd be content with dying any day now, if it comes to it. I wouldn't haunt the living for what-if were to occur, unless to see if it is possible (to haunt). It gets easier to let go once you've established / lost the reasons that hold you in place. As a quick reply: (to the OP) Did you seek to ask the permission of posting the above blog entry, as the starting point to this discussion? I'm not playing the stickler today, but I'm none too sure that some others in higher places than I, might have an issue with using another member's immediate thoughts as a jumping-off point for a hypothetical in which any one of us has to analyse un-/foreseeable death, and how to handle it. I can easily infer and understand that this may be a truly sensitive thing to point out, as it could easily read as one person's "farewell" writtance, it doesn't inherently mean that [un]said person is in the wrong/right/insane. It may just mean you and I misinterpreted the key phrase being: "I'm ready to die tonight". This just sounds as though one is openly inviting death to come to them, instead of better phrasing their mind's thought of If I were to die tonight, I would die happy, without regrets, and in peace. __________________ As human beings, our greatness lies not so much in being able to remake the world (that is the myth of the Atomic Age) as in being able to remake ourselves. —Mohandas K. Gandhi

05-30-2011, 06:18 AM	#3 (permalink)
GreyWolf Sober Location: Eastern Canada	I *was* ready to die when I was 30. Well, not ready, but it wouldn't have bothered me that much. Then came my kids. They are still young, and at home, and I simply cannot die. I have responsibilities that I absolutely must attend to. Dying holds little fear for me, but whereas it would have only been an inconvenience/annoyance when I was 30, now it is something I MUST avoid until I have made certain that my children can fend for themselves. As for the blogger in the OP, I understand completely what he's saying, but I'm 10 years away from that point right now. __________________ *The secret to great marksmanship is deciding what the target was AFTER you've shot.*

05-30-2011, 07:18 AM	#5 (permalink)
MeltedMetalGlob Crazy Location: San Huevos, USA	I'm not ready yet- every time I scratch something off my "bucket list", I add something else. I always want something to look forward to- it keeps me from getting stagnant. So, in short I don't think I'll ever be ready. But that's just me. __________________ How's your mom, Ed?

05-31-2011, 09:39 AM	#6 (permalink)
Ourcrazymodern? still, wondering. Location: South Minneapolis, somewhere near the gorgeous gorge	Jetee, I'm more than content to know you're not dead yet. __________________ BE JUST AND FEAR NOT

05-30-2011, 06:53 AM	#4 (permalink)
Craven Morehead Custom User Title	I'll be 59 in a few months and completely understand this man's feelings. While I'm not ready to die but if death came for me I would not feel cheated, not one bit. Life is an experience or more accurately a collection of experiences, some so very personal that I wouldn't think of even sharing them here anonymously. By the time you reach reach your late 50s you realize the moments in your life that have given your life the most meaning have passed and due to age won't ever be repeated, mainly family. His speechless moments are all family related. So are mine and they come only during a period in your life that can't be recreated later on. There will be other significant moments yet to come but none will compare to what I experienced in the past 30. So when I look at my life, I don't feel cheated. If it were to end now, it's been full. Maybe when a person comes to that realization they are ready to die, not that I want to, but yeah, maybe I am ready.

05-31-2011, 09:40 AM	#7 (permalink)
flat5 Very Insignificant Pawn Location: Amsterdam, NL	I'm ready but if someone offered me ice cream I'd want to live a little longer.

05-31-2011, 10:10 AM	#8 (permalink)
Cynthetiq Tilted Cat Head Administrator Location: Manhattan, NY	I thought I was ready when I was in my 20's. Every time I go someplace in the world, I'm awed by something new and exciting. I'm filled with many memories of places, faces, and flavors. I try to believe that I'm ready everyday. Today is a good day to die. I just don't want today to be that day. ---------- Post added at 02:10 PM ---------- Previous post was at 02:08 PM ---------- Here's the original blog link: I’m Ready to Die JourneyAmerica __________________ I don't care if you are black, white, purple, green, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, hippie, cop, bum, admin, user, English, Irish, French, Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, indian, cowboy, tall, short, fat, skinny, emo, punk, mod, rocker, straight, gay, lesbian, jock, nerd, geek, Democrat, Republican, Libertarian, Independent, driver, pedestrian, or bicyclist, either you're an asshole or you're not. What's the best nation in the world? DO-NATION!

05-31-2011, 10:37 AM	#9 (permalink)
Baraka_Guru warrior bodhisattva Super Moderator Location: East-central Canada	Being ready to die includes getting over the delusion that we have ownership over our bodies. We don't. We are basically borrowing our physical existence, and we have to give it up when we're done with it, which, for most of us, is fewer than 80 or so years. Another aspect of this is getting over our clinging to being, to experiences, to things. Being ready to die means letting go of a lot of things. I don't know whether I've reached that point yet. I don't think so. I still have too much craving regarding things I think I should do, should have done, or things I want to do. No, I don't think I'm ready. I still have some work to do. __________________ Knowing that death is certain and that the time of death is uncertain, what's the most important thing? —Bhikkhuni Pema Chödrön Humankind cannot bear very much reality. —From "Burnt Norton," Four Quartets (1936), T. S. Eliot

05-31-2011, 12:53 PM	#10 (permalink)
Strange Famous follower of the child's crusade?	Honestly I feel most of my adult life I have been trudging through the motions. I work at a job I like ok, but isnt exactly fulfilling. I come home from work and play video games or watch TV. Since November when I moved, I dont have any friends were I live, most weekends I dont speak to anyone, or if I do its the guy in the local shop when I go and buy junk food rather than cook. I dont really know how to get out of this rut, as I am not an outgoing person and I dont really know how to go about making new mates. But to not go too far off subject, I have always been scared of death (I had to have counselling when I was 19 because I had anxiety attacks based on my fears) - the counseller at the time suggested it might be an expression of my discontent with how my life was... perhaps he was right, but 14 years later I havent figured it out much better. __________________ "Do not tell lies, and do not do what you hate, for all things are plain in the sight of Heaven. For nothing hidden will not become manifest, and nothing covered will remain without being uncovered." The Gospel of Thomas