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Honestly I feel most of my adult life I have been trudging through the motions.
I work at a job I like ok, but isnt exactly fulfilling. I come home from work and play video games or watch TV.
Since November when I moved, I dont have any friends were I live, most weekends I dont speak to anyone, or if I do its the guy in the local shop when I go and buy junk food rather than cook.
I dont really know how to get out of this rut, as I am not an outgoing person and I dont really know how to go about making new mates.
But to not go too far off subject, I have always been scared of death (I had to have counselling when I was 19 because I had anxiety attacks based on my fears) - the counseller at the time suggested it might be an expression of my discontent with how my life was... perhaps he was right, but 14 years later I havent figured it out much better.
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"Do not tell lies, and do not do what you hate,
for all things are plain in the sight of Heaven. For nothing
hidden will not become manifest, and nothing covered will remain
without being uncovered."
The Gospel of Thomas
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