I'm sorry, but just because someone's new doesn't mean that they're right. Honestly, I find disagreement much more interesting than agreement. It's how I adjust my own opinions with new information and with new approaches to the same old information.

I find it difficult to accurately convey my true emotions in print. I've had numerous interactions where the other person thinks I'm "short" or "pissy" or "aggressive" or "being an asshole" when I'm aiming for the opposite. I've also dabbled in enough online communities to know that a new person that makes a statement and then listens to dissent and replies rationally is a needle in a haystack. Honestly, I can't remember the last time that I saw a TFP member fire away a newbie. I've seen them ignored, but that's usually because they aren't adding anything to the conversation. That's hard for us to fix, to be honest.

I'd love to have more new folks show up and make statements that I don't agree with. I joined TFP in the first place to use it as a sounding board for my own beliefs. You can't do that in an echo chamber. That's why TFP Politics is such a shame, to be honest - too many liberals, not enough conservatives, no moderates at all.

Vodka, I try to make a point to greet every newbie whenever I see one. I'm not perfect, so I miss some here and there. We do as much as we can to encourage folks to interact, but I don't know what much else we can do.

If they're mean, we send them into thedeepest, darkest woods with no shoes and just a penlight. Or to Plan9's house... 'cause Buddha gets hongry sometimes. I hear he likes toes.
Otherwise, we engage 'em like we do everyone else, I thought.
I smell pancakes.

Here's some raw footage of a couple of newbies a few years back who took a wrong turn among our subforums.


Needless to say, they didn't stick around.

Just be careful out there and follow the rules.

'.........I find it difficult to accurately convey my true emotions in print. I've had numerous interactions where the other person thinks I'm "short" or "pissy" or "aggressive" or "being an asshole" when I'm aiming for the opposite. '

while i don't find it difficult to convey anything Jazz, i am usually perceived to be rude, opininated or hard

so be it but if they took the time to get to know me properly, they'ld realise that tak (yes) i am opininated, but i'm not rude or hard - i'm simply honest and direct

given facial expressions can't be seen and voice tone can't be heard in forums, as mentioned above, online communication is difficult. moreso if the over-sensitive receiptents or those that fly of the handle without giving the other the opportunity to explain themselves don't use emoticons

gawd one board i tried, they didn't even like emoticons so even on my very first post, i was hauled over the coals for using them :shakehead: i may be clever, i'm not THAT clever

i'm not a mind reader but i am a visual soul so shoot me

Then I don't get the point of your rant, Vodka. Are you irritated about TFP or just the web in general?

neither of the above Jazz

the thread's title is "what do you do new members' and i'm simply replying

not ranting Jazz, just replying and sharing forum observations - in general - in the process

if you want a 'rant', then yer accusing the wrong person

Just throwing this out there as a newcomer, if someone posts a few times and quits because they feel ignored, then this board doesn't need such thin-skinned types.

If they want attention, they just have to keep at it. Not every post is going to warrant a reply; especially not in a thread where one can post whatever music one is currently listening to, for example.

:thumbsup:!!

...sometimes I give them a smiley thumbs up! & some exclamations point!!!

As a new person here at TFP, I find this thread utterly fascinating. I've been reading it for over an hour, looking at the profiles of the members who've posted here (that's enough fun all by itself!).

So if I may, I'll offer a humble newbie's opinion on what it's been like to be here and still be wet behind the ears (2 days) in light of what I've learned so far (granted, not much--long way to go).

I made the requested intro post in two places. In one thread [New & Improved Intro Thread] my intro was ignored (or maybe one person responded), but in the forum called (New Users Visit Here FIRST), I started a thread.

But rather than just introduce myself egotistically like "Hi, it's ME" or some other non-commentable (or flameable) statement about myself, I asked a question about TFP.

And I got answers! Quickly!

So I asked more. My thread now has 15 or so posts in it.

So I just suggest that new folks be told to introduce themselves, ask a question about TFP and give veteren members a reason to respond.

[chopped out some]

If that is indeed the case, and I simply lucked into posting on a good day, then maybe my suggestion will help. When I signed up, there was no "required reading" but maybe there should be? I did find the guidelines and info on my own. Those sticky notes might be put in bold red type or something. They're kind of easy to overlook and they are important.

Of course, since I write training material for a living, I know that you can lead a horse to water, but not make him drink. Most folks don't read anything more than about 100 words anymore.

But maybe just in that intro forum say: Introduce yourself and ask us a question about TFP

You're going to get some seemingly dumb questions and obvious questions and the same questions over and over, but that's because the people asking them are new.

Taking the time to answer them might just make all the difference and draw more members into interacting with the new folks.

And I am proof that introducing myself and asking a question about TFP works. Really.

On the downside, I noticed that it was mostly just the same 3 or 4 members who were responding to the newbie intros. Again, you can't make veteren members go do "grunt" work so to speak. There's more members posting in this thread than in the new member thread.

Like most gnarly problems--no straight, easy answers. Anyway, my humble 2 cents.

OK, flame away. I'm made of asbestos.

Absolutely, HD, giving people something to respond to will get you more responses. The intros give newbies a place to lose their virginity and generally don't get much conversation. Someone says "hi, I'm X and this site looks interesting" usually gets one or two obligatory "welcome" posts, along with a subtle begging for something to clue us in on who they are. I used to greet newbies more often, but don't always have the time I once did.

Since there are always newbies posting in those threads, we don't know what it is they like or want from TFP. From my tilted perspective, the way to become a true part of TFP is by posting. We want to get to know newbies, but they have to give us a chance to know them by sharing ideas, knowledge and opinions on the Boards. Or even, like you said, ask a question. A lot of us love to help. :hyper:

So although I didn't greet you in your Intro thread, you've begun to dig in a little, so I can respect you and feel more genuine and comfortable when I say: Welcome to TFP! I do believe you'll enjoy it here.

Hi jewels! Thank you! Glad to meet you. I paged through your blog earlier today and will leave a message for you on your profile.

I think your suggestion is right on. As I new member, I would find it encouraging:

Introduce yourself and ask us a question about TFP! A lot of us love to help. :hyper:

Of course, being new and giving opinions out of hand can get a person flamed. Maybe that's why newbies are trepidatious about adding more? Maybe in the newbie forum, set a guideline for milder or no flaming to give them a chance to feel more comfortable?

HMD, we don't tolerate flaming here. There's mantra - "debate the topic, not the individual" - that we've found leads to respectful disagreement. We will absolutely not agree with every opinion you have, but that would be boring, wouldn't it? That's something that holds true across the board, not just in "Get Tilted".

I know how other boards work but we're not other boards. If you can't handle someone telling you that you're wrong about something with some good reasons why, then you don't belong on a discussion board. That's not to say that you are wrong, but if you're going to state an opinion, you should be prepared to have it challenged. We're not an echo chamber, but we're also not going to allow someone to make personal attacks.

Hopefully that allays your fears (and those of any lurkers, present or future).

Ok, wrong word that: flame

Thanks for the correction.

Guess I need to get with the nomenclature here at TFP. I was basing it on this use of the word "fire":

But I get your point. Shooting something down immediately, overly sarcastically, etc.

I am glad to hear "flaming" is not allowed here! I can throw away this abestos bra!

Keep the bra..........really, no flaming but underhanded, seemingly clever insults wrapped in velvet lined sarcasm are allowed.

Hello & GoodBye

Not a flame just an observation.........well, more of a prediction I suppose.

And just another note.. We rely on the community to help us keep the standards up on this place.

If ever you see something out of bounds.. the "Report Post" icon lets all the staff know there's something we need to look at.

Passive Aggressive folks don't often find this place comfortable. Part of that is because we ALL need to have a bit of a thicker skin from time to time.

There are any number of neuroses present here at any given time including, OCD, PTSD, a slew of phobias, bipolar, passive aggressive & the occasional schizophrenic (psychosis), so I wouldnt be to judgmental.

I've actually pushed the boundaries just to see what it took to get a warning & it must be a direct insult such as, "Hey you're a fucking sack of shit you motherfucking bastard" , any other indirect comment is acceptable as far as I know.

Just ask Lady Sage or Xerxys or...............................

Ummm...& then I usually apologize for not understanding right away.

What's cool is that this forum is so spread out that you really get a lot of different perspectives. If TFP were just devoted to one hobby or interest group in particular it would be a lot less interesting to read the replies.

I spent a few years here wondering if I was really contributing because I didn't get all that many responses to my posts and threads. Then they made me a mod. Don't take it personally if you don't get too many direct responses, people still appreciate your contributions.
I tend to give tough love, no-holds-barred responses, especially in sexuality and especially when someone asks a dumb question or just won't listen to advice. Overall, though, even if people disagree with you you're more than welcome to disagree right back. You might be scrutinized more because if you're not a familiar face we all want to grill you until we get an idea of where you generally stand on stuff, but the only thing that I would say favors established members is if they break the rules and we can use their history with us to determine whether it's something out of character for them that isn't likely to be a repeat problem.