What do you do to new members?
 

I see quite many new members introducing themselves, but later posting less or not at all.

Do you eat them or sacrifice to some forum Gods?

They wander into Tilted Politics and see a promising thread on Planned Parenthood turn into another Rule #9/11 (GWoT tirade) in less than 20 posts and quickly and quietly leave TFP forever to hit up SomethingAwful or Reddit. I mean, that's just my dumb guess but you gotta admit it makes some sense.

Sheeeit, I'd entertain leaving if there was an easy way to erase all my posts here.

...

And speaking for the Jazz (since this angle never ceases to amuse me):

I'd imagine a few newbies show up thinking there is some amateur porn board and are disappointed that Nekkid Tilted Users doesn't actually exist.

We can't force anyone to post. Even if we couldn't, we wouldn't. A lot of folks register, introduce themselves and never come back.

Do you validate parking?

I give them noogies and underwear wedgies. I'm sorry. The lack of posting has been all my fault.

Then there are those that we can't get to shut the hell up.

Bagatelle,

No, seriously... this is something we're all kinda wondering and want to work on improving. The community has had this discussion before in our annual angsty TFP Nut Up or Shut Up identity crisis thread. Attracting new members is of utmost concern for the community because new raw materials make for such a better discussion forum. TFP's goal is to attract mature adults of all ages and occupations and background. We want wacky hobbies and funny fetishes and cool stories. I can't say why new people show up and leave but many of us "Active Users" have really tried to encourage new members to latch on and suck this magical teat for all its worth. Recent example? Where the hell is CDWonderful's crazy girlfriend? She posted like umpty-million good comments and then disappeared off the radar like a sex-crazed Amelia Earhart. People come and go all the time without warning. That's life, I guess.

I miss Malficent. She used to post so much insightful stuff. :(

Didn't mean this to be taken too seriously. I just thought you might have some secret lair for them... :surprised:

I know from other forums, some people come and go, then there are regulars, who would want new people to join, because they are bored with each other.

I quit saying hello's to new members in another forum, when half of the new users proved to be one permabanned member creating new accounts or staff playing tricks... :rolleyes:

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v1...ents/panic.gif

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v1...ts/ODDBALL.jpg

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v1...ounclephil.jpg

I really like new members...for breakfast.

Aren't you vegan? I thought you were vegan. You can't eat new members... new members are people!

That's why no one would take the post seriously. Oh, and I'm a LOVeggie, not a Vegan. I don't mind eating lactation products and eggs.

Hi Bagatelle :)
I suppose I'm a new member, so I answer to you :) : I try to come here regulary but I have a life and this is most importante than a forum. Before I went to a french forum a lot, a very active forum and I think it's dangerous. I had big problems ! So now, I like a quiet forum, just with few messages (and english isn't my usual language). But maybe, many people would want an other thing, less adult for example or with more messages and after inscription to going to another virtual world. Oh, and you can't eat me.... I have a very hard skin, big teeth and long claws :suave: :p

You shall henceforth be known as: HONEY BADGER.

http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/found-n...ey-badger.html

I track them down through their IP, sometimes easy, sometimes I need to bribe (the nerds are so excited to get a bribe I barely pay them a thing) them. But its easy after that. Router, advanced defense? APG etc.? Not stupid? Doesn't matter. Eventually you'll order something off the internet, and then boom. I know all sorts of personal stuff. And that's assuming worst case to crack. The majority of you are easily led sheep to the slaughter.

Then I make a trip to their homes with a BFG and a chainsaw.

After that's taken care of I assume their identity and post under there names. This is getting a lot to handle.

..wait...what you guys don't hunt them?

Well, that explains the change in my attitude and posting habits.

Not all of them pass the initiation ceremonies.

Oops, was I not supposed to tell?

Three words:

Rum, Sodomy and the Lash.

Take them out back and beat them with rubber hoses.

If they stick around and drink beer with us afterwards, they are in.

Don't think it's all pent-up, malice filled, hazing rituals... some people actually liked it. I know for a fact world's king had a big smile on his face the entire time. Hell, Gucci asked for it a second time out of nothing but shear pleasure.

(... It sucks neither one of those two will actually read this thread.... I miss gluv)

shave his balls with a rusty razor...

tie him to the mast and whack his pee-pee...

Yes, I know the dangers of getting too much involved and too much time spent online.

I've had no work since Christmas, so I have way too much free time. Or I should say unorganized time...

I work at the computer, but I took a habit of not logging into any forums at work. Can't make same rules for myself at home, though. :)

I may need a beating to stay away. :rolleyes:

I knew the disappearances had sumfin to do with the Hobbit out back of the barn.

Actually, I try to make them feel welcome by responding to their posts in-thread and sending them PMs encouraging them to write more when I see they've made an exceptionally well-thought-out post. It's pretty disappointing when the people I've contacted directly never return to write more.

You shut your dirty mouth, mustache man. Don't make me banish you to tilted nonsense again.

I smell Waffles..........wait, what were we talking about????


..

..




.

Oh man, I just realized they weren't posting anymore. Did they give a reason why they left? I didn't super duper like them but I miss their posts now that I think of it.

Wk is around, he pops in every once in awhile. I've taken on the role of "Dead Hooker" commenter. If there is a way I can talk about dead hookers, I do.

Gluv? It's not my place to say why he left, I'm pretty sure it's one of those, "If you don't know now, you don't need to know things." That's how one mod explained it to me.

....as a somewhat new member I guess it takes a while to get the vibe of everyone. I try and read the threads as often as I can and even started a new thread last week. But alot of the regulars here are very saavy at this and I guess it is somewhat entertaining just to watch the exchange between them.

Lot's of old, abandoned mines in the neighborhood and I own a wood chipper ... just sayin'

There isn't enough man love. Gluv is gone, POA barely posts, WK is only here half the time, Fugly only lurks and silently fumes at Tpolitics. Oldfag needs to come back, no one has called me newfag in so long.

All I have left is Jazz and Plan9.

*Tear*

Quick lets make a lot of jokes about how gay you are, throw some 4chan insults out there, and talk about being drunk. It will make me feel like they are still there.

the hobbit lives...

I tend to try not to eat them... they get stuck in my teeth.
I'm running out of duct tape and room in the basement.

Noodle... tooth floss.

I'm a newfag and idk if I'm gonna post alot here because you all seem gay.

srs

I know, Charlie, but they're kinda like popcorn kernels... they get up under the gums sometimes.

Srsly, I cannot stand when that happens. But I lurves popcorn.

I check their profile to see if they're selling computer parts, penis pills or anything else. Then I report them with a one-liner like "FIRE ZEE MISSILES!"

...

I'm still going strong, brother. Not great distance nor extreme heat nor explosive diarrhea will keep me away from entertaining/nauseating this fine board with my absolutely mediocre argument for every major (and pointless) life topic. I too like POA and I dislike World's King and Gucci enough to miss them because they supplied all the bad life choices I've ever needed to feel better about whatever tiny fumble I make in my own adventures. And Fugly was a real contender for the Snarky McSnarkums suspenders I've bedazzled and hid away from that special occasion. All are missed greatly. If possible, I would commission an '80s band, perhaps the Fine Young Cannibals, to dedicate a love song specifically to them that urges them to come back home.

remind them...

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v1...2/google-1.jpg

hopefully not since i am new!

I follow them around and try to get them to post more than one sentence.

Do you think the ones are easier to catch, who don't use proper punctuation?

No, but the ones who then post spam make them fun to taunt and ban.

seriouzly, new shooz fer sales at mine webiste, holla holla, cum check uz owt! www. banmejazz. now

Is a wedgie the same thing as a snuggy?

They post stupid threads in Tilted Sexuality then disappear once they find out we're not here to validate their paranoia.
Quite the opposite, with a Snuggie your butt hangs out.

:lol:

You guys are hilarious.

we're still waiting for jazz's kid to answer his thread in MP...

He won't. Just out of sheer defiance. What's funny is that two of the new ones have just gotten banned. Man, I wish we could start a behind-the-scenes look at how Jazz stalks the spammers and trollers and what they're posting before they get caught. ;)

Cause I'm bored tonight and you all are here merely to entertain me. Now, DANCE! Ddance, I say!.

That would be awesome. I want to watch that.

You guys are assuming again that he can see it.

I assume there's some pleasure to be taken...

and why shouldn't he be able to see it?

Reread that thread, Phil.

i'm obviously missing something...

...but you're cuddly as hell?

Treating new members as fellows until they prove otherwise by disappearing has not been known to be unproductive.

No, a snuggy is an acacia berry that's been forcefully jammed up a spammer's ass.

Urbandictionary tells me snuggy is condom. You all knew it, I guess, I always have to check these...

This gives me a mental image (association?) of a Finnish saying "pyörii kuin puolukka perseessä", when someone is being a nuisance everywhere, or doesn't know where to go. "Rotates like a lingonberry in the ass."

Just don't confuse Snuggy with a Snuggie.

<slap> "Men like you are the reason I left Finland!"
(Yeah, yeah. I know you aren't a man. But how often do you get to pull out a Rebecca Bloomwood quote?)

Well... wearing either one of those two will prevent pregnancy (or in the case of the latter, prevent a woman from ever wanting to touch you).

I'm afraid you have to explain... I don't know Rebecca.

Bagatelle,

Movie: Confessions of a Shopaholic

The lead character, Rebecca Bloomwood, has a strange obsession with Finland. You'll have to watch the movie.

Eden,

I have a snuggie. It's a brilliant invention, with a stupid name. My wife hates it because she doesn't like the fabric. So, she doesn't come near me when I am wearing it. So, yes, it does temporarily prevent pregancy. Did I mention my wife is pregant? :)

Thanks for the movie tip. It's always nice, when they mention one odd Nordic country in a movie. :)

btw - Finland is always referred to as a country, they never actually show any Finns or talk to them, but Swedes are movies often in movies as persons. Hot blondes, mostly...

They can wilt in the sauna, though. It's hard for them to talk then.

Do tell, bagatelle: What's this forum done to you?

Yikes... confession time?

It's been relaxing to post without censor beeping all the time, like in kids' forums, gaming etc. People here are actually my age and older, much smarter/educated though, so I can't take much part in any serious conversation, but I enjoy "listening" like I do at work. :D Butt in with few uneducated comments. :P

Do you do something here then...? *heh*

I just state my opinion. I'm half-Finn. I asked to reassure myself that you don't feel maltreated. What do I do here? I mostly enjoy the civility, also.

That's cool to know. You have some ties to our country then?

We also have distant cousins in USA. Many Finns left to America in the beginning of previous century. My first cousins still keep in touch with them.

Watch Earth Girls are Easy - totally fun stuff, references to Finland/Finnish folk, and with some young actors who've since done better known work.

I can't help but notice that noobs rhymes with boobs. Is that realization worthy of a post in this thead?

Probably because people end up getting told their threads will be deleted for things like:

- Being critical of a character a moderator likes in a fictional TV show
- Expressing valid opinions about MMA
- Having an opinion about guns or dogs
- Playing World of Warcraft but not playing in "the Horde" and thinking that the Orcs are the best

Stuff like that.

Maybe I am expressing certain cases a somewhat unfairly... but every time something like that happens I stop coming here for a while because it annoys me.

thy kinda hafta grow at their own speed, don't they...

and, they're molded only if they allow it..

If they desire it they get molded faster...

I consider myself a "newbie"......I try to live my life to the fullest so I don't have a lot of down time....when I do have the free time this is one of my favorite places to check out. I do comment on things when I feel I can add to the discussion..

i've since learnt it seems forum newbies are generally ignored, regardless of a requested introductory post

hell one forum i joined, it took me 2yrs before the establishment finally replied to my posts - regardless of the fact the forum owners were/are close friends of mine :mad:

i've since left that forum :p

as for the forums like TFP that do have an 'Introduction' thread, considering online communication can impersonal as an automatically generated email, the Introduction thread is a waste of bandwidth - to me - given those that DO introduce themselves as i did, newbies are only generally ignored anyway :shakehead: granted forums generally have a vast number of members, getting to know newbies can be somewhat difficult, however, intentional ignorance of those newbies who do take the time to introduce themselves is hardly encouraging to participate more actively

given the whole idea of a forum in the first place is also to voice yer own thoughts, ideas and/or interpretation of something posted in a civil manner, it's hardly civil when one's dissenting personal belief is shot down in flames purely because the newbie may have offended regular members simply by disagreeing with someone is it

I really beg to differ. People have differing levels of how they participate and interact with strangers. Sometimes they dive right in and other times they stay aloof and at arms length.

The best example are the people here. While you may think that we are old friends some of use are but many if us are not. But each of us here who have become food friends in real life started out here as a newbie.

Right now I'm at a mixer where I am not mixing. I just don't feel like socializing and schmoozing today.

yes we all interact differently Cynthetiq but more fool the newbies who choose to stay aloof in that they are only encouraging ignorance with their lurking because how does one 'socialize' with a voiceless member?????

however for those of us who do 'dive right in', our honesty can only encourage the ignorance so in some situations, i guess you just can't win

love yer propic btw but i never assumed regular TFPers were 'old friends'

:oogle: Not sure I get what you're saying here, but maybe things are sometimes taken too personally. Sometimes you say what you feel and may not get a response; sometimes you can start a thread and get no response. A community like this mimics life in most ways, so hopefully no one takes anything that personally.

Sometimes newbies don't get immediate responses to posts simply because no one's around and the post may get buried, depending on how members do their viewing. And sometimes, people disagree. Just like real life. Don't take those things to heart. We're just getting to know you in our own way ...

'Sometimes newbies don't get immediate responses to posts simply because no one's around ...........'

ni the time difference sure as hell doesn't help any Jewels :lol:

I'm sorry, but just because someone's new doesn't mean that they're right. Honestly, I find disagreement much more interesting than agreement. It's how I adjust my own opinions with new information and with new approaches to the same old information.

I find it difficult to accurately convey my true emotions in print. I've had numerous interactions where the other person thinks I'm "short" or "pissy" or "aggressive" or "being an asshole" when I'm aiming for the opposite. I've also dabbled in enough online communities to know that a new person that makes a statement and then listens to dissent and replies rationally is a needle in a haystack. Honestly, I can't remember the last time that I saw a TFP member fire away a newbie. I've seen them ignored, but that's usually because they aren't adding anything to the conversation. That's hard for us to fix, to be honest.

I'd love to have more new folks show up and make statements that I don't agree with. I joined TFP in the first place to use it as a sounding board for my own beliefs. You can't do that in an echo chamber. That's why TFP Politics is such a shame, to be honest - too many liberals, not enough conservatives, no moderates at all.

Vodka, I try to make a point to greet every newbie whenever I see one. I'm not perfect, so I miss some here and there. We do as much as we can to encourage folks to interact, but I don't know what much else we can do.

If they're mean, we send them into thedeepest, darkest woods with no shoes and just a penlight. Or to Plan9's house... 'cause Buddha gets hongry sometimes. I hear he likes toes.
Otherwise, we engage 'em like we do everyone else, I thought.
I smell pancakes.

Here's some raw footage of a couple of newbies a few years back who took a wrong turn among our subforums.


Needless to say, they didn't stick around.

Just be careful out there and follow the rules.

'.........I find it difficult to accurately convey my true emotions in print. I've had numerous interactions where the other person thinks I'm "short" or "pissy" or "aggressive" or "being an asshole" when I'm aiming for the opposite. '

while i don't find it difficult to convey anything Jazz, i am usually perceived to be rude, opininated or hard

so be it but if they took the time to get to know me properly, they'ld realise that tak (yes) i am opininated, but i'm not rude or hard - i'm simply honest and direct

given facial expressions can't be seen and voice tone can't be heard in forums, as mentioned above, online communication is difficult. moreso if the over-sensitive receiptents or those that fly of the handle without giving the other the opportunity to explain themselves don't use emoticons

gawd one board i tried, they didn't even like emoticons so even on my very first post, i was hauled over the coals for using them :shakehead: i may be clever, i'm not THAT clever

i'm not a mind reader but i am a visual soul so shoot me

Then I don't get the point of your rant, Vodka. Are you irritated about TFP or just the web in general?

neither of the above Jazz

the thread's title is "what do you do new members' and i'm simply replying

not ranting Jazz, just replying and sharing forum observations - in general - in the process

if you want a 'rant', then yer accusing the wrong person

Just throwing this out there as a newcomer, if someone posts a few times and quits because they feel ignored, then this board doesn't need such thin-skinned types.

If they want attention, they just have to keep at it. Not every post is going to warrant a reply; especially not in a thread where one can post whatever music one is currently listening to, for example.

:thumbsup:!!

...sometimes I give them a smiley thumbs up! & some exclamations point!!!

As a new person here at TFP, I find this thread utterly fascinating. I've been reading it for over an hour, looking at the profiles of the members who've posted here (that's enough fun all by itself!).

So if I may, I'll offer a humble newbie's opinion on what it's been like to be here and still be wet behind the ears (2 days) in light of what I've learned so far (granted, not much--long way to go).

I made the requested intro post in two places. In one thread [New & Improved Intro Thread] my intro was ignored (or maybe one person responded), but in the forum called (New Users Visit Here FIRST), I started a thread.

But rather than just introduce myself egotistically like "Hi, it's ME" or some other non-commentable (or flameable) statement about myself, I asked a question about TFP.

And I got answers! Quickly!

So I asked more. My thread now has 15 or so posts in it.

So I just suggest that new folks be told to introduce themselves, ask a question about TFP and give veteren members a reason to respond.

[chopped out some]

If that is indeed the case, and I simply lucked into posting on a good day, then maybe my suggestion will help. When I signed up, there was no "required reading" but maybe there should be? I did find the guidelines and info on my own. Those sticky notes might be put in bold red type or something. They're kind of easy to overlook and they are important.

Of course, since I write training material for a living, I know that you can lead a horse to water, but not make him drink. Most folks don't read anything more than about 100 words anymore.

But maybe just in that intro forum say: Introduce yourself and ask us a question about TFP

You're going to get some seemingly dumb questions and obvious questions and the same questions over and over, but that's because the people asking them are new.

Taking the time to answer them might just make all the difference and draw more members into interacting with the new folks.

And I am proof that introducing myself and asking a question about TFP works. Really.

On the downside, I noticed that it was mostly just the same 3 or 4 members who were responding to the newbie intros. Again, you can't make veteren members go do "grunt" work so to speak. There's more members posting in this thread than in the new member thread.

Like most gnarly problems--no straight, easy answers. Anyway, my humble 2 cents.

OK, flame away. I'm made of asbestos.

Absolutely, HD, giving people something to respond to will get you more responses. The intros give newbies a place to lose their virginity and generally don't get much conversation. Someone says "hi, I'm X and this site looks interesting" usually gets one or two obligatory "welcome" posts, along with a subtle begging for something to clue us in on who they are. I used to greet newbies more often, but don't always have the time I once did.

Since there are always newbies posting in those threads, we don't know what it is they like or want from TFP. From my tilted perspective, the way to become a true part of TFP is by posting. We want to get to know newbies, but they have to give us a chance to know them by sharing ideas, knowledge and opinions on the Boards. Or even, like you said, ask a question. A lot of us love to help. :hyper:

So although I didn't greet you in your Intro thread, you've begun to dig in a little, so I can respect you and feel more genuine and comfortable when I say: Welcome to TFP! I do believe you'll enjoy it here.

Hi jewels! Thank you! Glad to meet you. I paged through your blog earlier today and will leave a message for you on your profile.

I think your suggestion is right on. As I new member, I would find it encouraging:

Introduce yourself and ask us a question about TFP! A lot of us love to help. :hyper:

Of course, being new and giving opinions out of hand can get a person flamed. Maybe that's why newbies are trepidatious about adding more? Maybe in the newbie forum, set a guideline for milder or no flaming to give them a chance to feel more comfortable?

HMD, we don't tolerate flaming here. There's mantra - "debate the topic, not the individual" - that we've found leads to respectful disagreement. We will absolutely not agree with every opinion you have, but that would be boring, wouldn't it? That's something that holds true across the board, not just in "Get Tilted".

I know how other boards work but we're not other boards. If you can't handle someone telling you that you're wrong about something with some good reasons why, then you don't belong on a discussion board. That's not to say that you are wrong, but if you're going to state an opinion, you should be prepared to have it challenged. We're not an echo chamber, but we're also not going to allow someone to make personal attacks.

Hopefully that allays your fears (and those of any lurkers, present or future).

Ok, wrong word that: flame

Thanks for the correction.

Guess I need to get with the nomenclature here at TFP. I was basing it on this use of the word "fire":

But I get your point. Shooting something down immediately, overly sarcastically, etc.

I am glad to hear "flaming" is not allowed here! I can throw away this abestos bra!

Keep the bra..........really, no flaming but underhanded, seemingly clever insults wrapped in velvet lined sarcasm are allowed.

Hello & GoodBye

Not a flame just an observation.........well, more of a prediction I suppose.

And just another note.. We rely on the community to help us keep the standards up on this place.

If ever you see something out of bounds.. the "Report Post" icon lets all the staff know there's something we need to look at.

Passive Aggressive folks don't often find this place comfortable. Part of that is because we ALL need to have a bit of a thicker skin from time to time.

There are any number of neuroses present here at any given time including, OCD, PTSD, a slew of phobias, bipolar, passive aggressive & the occasional schizophrenic (psychosis), so I wouldnt be to judgmental.

I've actually pushed the boundaries just to see what it took to get a warning & it must be a direct insult such as, "Hey you're a fucking sack of shit you motherfucking bastard" , any other indirect comment is acceptable as far as I know.

Just ask Lady Sage or Xerxys or...............................

Ummm...& then I usually apologize for not understanding right away.

What's cool is that this forum is so spread out that you really get a lot of different perspectives. If TFP were just devoted to one hobby or interest group in particular it would be a lot less interesting to read the replies.

I spent a few years here wondering if I was really contributing because I didn't get all that many responses to my posts and threads. Then they made me a mod. Don't take it personally if you don't get too many direct responses, people still appreciate your contributions.
I tend to give tough love, no-holds-barred responses, especially in sexuality and especially when someone asks a dumb question or just won't listen to advice. Overall, though, even if people disagree with you you're more than welcome to disagree right back. You might be scrutinized more because if you're not a familiar face we all want to grill you until we get an idea of where you generally stand on stuff, but the only thing that I would say favors established members is if they break the rules and we can use their history with us to determine whether it's something out of character for them that isn't likely to be a repeat problem.