bagatelle

This term coined by urbandictionary is what I like to use now:

Some-sex marriage

It only works for me in English, but describes very well the marital status of a working couple with teenage children, not having much time for the relationship.

Do people often want to know your marital status?

What kind of replies you have in stock, if you want to describe your status with some humour?

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Charlatan

I don't really joke about my marriage. My wife would kill me if I did.

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"My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars."
- Old Man Luedecke

bagatelle

Those two sentences tell me a lot already.

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Plan9

I usually tell women that I'm "pre-owned."

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Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

noodle

S summed it up for me a few years ago: heterosexual life partner.

Until we find a better reason (most likely financial) to be married than to not be, we'll remain heterosexual life partners.

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Charlatan

Married for 18... together for 23. Pragmatic to the end.

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"My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars."
- Old Man Luedecke

genuinegirly

Madly in love (with my spouse).

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"Sometimes I have to remember that things are brought to me for a reason, either for my own lessons or for the benefit of others." Cynthetiq

"violence is no more or less real than non-violence." roachboy

Baraka_Guru

Common law (or indefinitely engaged)

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Knowing that death is certain and that the time of death is uncertain, what's the most important thing?
—Bhikkhuni Pema Chödrön

Humankind cannot bear very much reality.
—From "Burnt Norton," Four Quartets (1936), T. S. Eliot

mixedmedia

I am single.
But on certain government applications I am sometimes forced to check 'divorced.'
But that's fatalistic thinking to me.

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Most people go through life dreading they'll have a traumatic experience. Freaks were born with their trauma. They've already passed their test in life. They're aristocrats. - Diane Arbus
PESSIMISM, n. A philosophy forced upon the convictions of the observer by the disheartening prevalence of the optimist with his scarecrow hope and his unsightly smile. - Ambrose Bierce

The_Jazz

I'm married and I'll sometimes joke about it, depending on the audience. Sometimes even in front of her, again depending on the audience. Close friends, yes; priest who married us, no.

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"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety." - B. Franklin
"There ought to be limits to freedom." - George W. Bush
"We have met the enemy and he is us." - Pogo

Plan9

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Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

The_Jazz

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"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety." - B. Franklin
"There ought to be limits to freedom." - George W. Bush
"We have met the enemy and he is us." - Pogo

kramus

The forms get filled out with "common-law" for me, and my Lady fills them out "separated" because her ex just won't sign divorce papers. Not sure why - I think it has to do with his fear of having to ante up child support. meh Sometimes he comes over to do the kid thing and we're still in bed. "My husband's here" she says. I think she likes having a husband and a lover at the same time

We refer to each other husband/wife in casual conversation dealing with whatnot when out and about. We think of each other as lover, friend, partner, that special someone that managed somehow to happen in spite of it all.

She's my Lady. I'm her Love. Not funny in the sense that the OP talks about, but it is what it is.

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And now to disengage the clutch of the forebrain ...
I'm going with this - if you like artwork visit http://markfineart.ca

snowy

Married. We've been together for 5 years, married for almost 6 mos. So far, marriage isn't that different from living together, other than I get to call him "my husband." I like that. Also, I got to do our taxes together, and that was a nice timesaver.

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If I am not better, at least I am different. --Jean-Jacques Rousseau

bobby

After 43 years of marrage I introduce "My Old Lady' as my first wife....xoxoxoo

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"Life goes on,within you,and...with out you !" xoxoxoo

Fotzlid

Indefinitely engaged...I think I'll start using that...

dlish

im still single until i marry the 4th one.

any takers for this luckless brother?

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An injustice anywhere, is an injustice everywhere

I always sign my facebook comments with ()()===========(}. Does that make me gay?
- Filthy

Cimarron29414

Dude, you look like you are about 26 to 28. You really have three "D"s under your belt? I'm missing something, clearly.

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Gives a man a halo, does mead.

"Here lies The_Jazz: Killed by an ambitious, sparkly, pink butterfly."

G~man

I am currently "between wives"....

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☻/ G~man.........
/▌ "Life may not be the party we hoped for----
/ \ but while we're here, we might as well dance ! ! ! "

samcol

lol marriage.

maybe someday but haven't found the right victim yet

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It's time for the president to hand over his nobel peace prize.

uncle phil

aunt phil is the last one...

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"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
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"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
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never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.

spindles

I think he means he is allowed 4 wives before his religion sees him as 'married'

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who hid my keyboard's PANIC button?

dlish

exactly. once i realise the 4th wife, im officially off the market

3 more to go...yeah right!

oh, and im much older than 26-28 that you think i am Cim!

__________________
An injustice anywhere, is an injustice everywhere

I always sign my facebook comments with ()()===========(}. Does that make me gay?
- Filthy

Plan9

Yeah, Dlish is old enough to be my other father.

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Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

Starkizzer

Married 10 months, together for 8 years. Its been fun and I am with snowy, being married is no different than living together. We are best friends, we have grown up together, we fight like cats and dogs and we make up like bunnies.

My best friend calls him Love Muffin, so I sometimes call him that. I still forget we are married sometimes and slip and call him my fiance or bf.

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Frivolity, at the edge of a Moral Swamp, hears Hymn-Singing in the Distance and dons the Galoshes of Remorse. ~Edward Gorey

dlish

sorry to break it to you, but i am your father.

so what did you think of your little brother that you met last month? are you happy there's going to be 3 of you now?

__________________
An injustice anywhere, is an injustice everywhere

I always sign my facebook comments with ()()===========(}. Does that make me gay?
- Filthy

bagatelle

I was going to say: well recycled.

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dlish

talking about recycling, if i reach the 4th one, and decide to get a divorce from one of those four, i'd be officially back on the market again.

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An injustice anywhere, is an injustice everywhere

I always sign my facebook comments with ()()===========(}. Does that make me gay?
- Filthy

Cimarron29414

Of course! Sorry, dlish. I knew that, it just didn't come to the surface before I posted. Apologies.

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Gives a man a halo, does mead.

"Here lies The_Jazz: Killed by an ambitious, sparkly, pink butterfly."

MSD

Single and not putting any effort into changing that. I'm just lazy.

Anormalguy

24th wedding anniversary is rapidly approaching.

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In a society where the individual is not free to pursue the truth...there is neither progress, stability nor security.--Edward R. Murrow

levite

I love telling people I'm married. I have been looking forward to being married for half my life, and I just fuckin' love it.

Not only do I proudly say that I'm married, but Mrs. Levite and I sometimes affectionately address one another as "Wife" and "Husband."

And lest ye crack jokes, as did one of my single friends, about me being whipped, I will note that I said to him, "Maybe, but if you weren't in my living room, I'd be having sex right now."

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Dull sublunary lovers love,
Whose soul is sense, cannot admit
Absence, because it doth remove
That thing which elemented it.

(From "A Valediction: Forbidding Mourning" by John Donne)

Plan9

Dude. Dude. If I ever get married again, I want you to do the ceremony. I'd want your blessing.

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Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."