Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community  

Go Back   Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community > Chatter > General Discussion


 
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 07-12-2003, 07:22 AM   #1 (permalink)
Upright
 
Location: WI
Children in public places

<beginning of rant>

Can someone explain to me why parents think that it is acceptable to not supervise or control their children in public places?

My hub and I go out for a nice dinner and we are assaulted by the screaming baby in the booth next to us, have to watch some small child run through the restuarant (almost tripping servers carrying large trays of hot food), etc.

And if - GOD FORBID - I tell the child to stop running around, the parents GLARE at me as if I'm a serial baby-killer.

Do I like kids? Yes - WELL BEHAVED ones.

I'm the youngest of 8. My parents used to take all 8 of us out to restuarants. We were expected to sit at the table quietly, eat our food and then remain at the table until everyone was finished and we were ready to leave.

How hard is that? It's really annoying to be somewhere and know that my DOGS are better behaved than the kids we see - but my dogs arent' allowed there.

<end of rant>
__________________
Balaniki

"Everyone should have something to believe in.
I believe you should keep your beliefs to yourself."
Balaniki is offline  
Old 07-12-2003, 08:05 AM   #2 (permalink)
A boy and his dog
 
Schwan's Avatar
 
Location: EU!
Kids between 3-15 irritate me infinitely. Don't worry, you're not alone in this, a lot of people fall victim to parents' terror. That's when they simply can't come to terms with the fact that their kid is a brat, and a spoiled one, too. I've seen too much of that.
Schwan is offline  
Old 07-12-2003, 08:12 AM   #3 (permalink)
Tilted Cat Head
 
Cynthetiq's Avatar
 
Administrator
Location: Manhattan, NY
i currently am still in Long Island... suburbia filled with children....

soon I'll be living in Manhattan, there are kids that are in the area that I'll be living in, but at least I won't see the misbehaved little things at all the restaurants and such...only movies, museums, and the occassional Broadway show. Thank god they behave at Broadway shows still, ushers there still do their jobs and remove people for behaving badly.
__________________
I don't care if you are black, white, purple, green, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, hippie, cop, bum, admin, user, English, Irish, French, Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, indian, cowboy, tall, short, fat, skinny, emo, punk, mod, rocker, straight, gay, lesbian, jock, nerd, geek, Democrat, Republican, Libertarian, Independent, driver, pedestrian, or bicyclist, either you're an asshole or you're not.
Cynthetiq is offline  
Old 07-12-2003, 08:34 AM   #4 (permalink)
Insane
 
Location: Newcastle-Australia
When I was growing up the old adage was ,children should be seen and not heard.
As you are no longer allowed to disaplin your kids at all now it is almost impossible to control them. I guess that we have brought it on our selves.
monty121052 is offline  
Old 07-12-2003, 09:04 AM   #5 (permalink)
My future is coming on
 
lurkette's Avatar
 
Moderator Emeritus
Location: east of the sun and west of the moon
I think part of the problem is that most parents have no clue how to parent effectively. They think that discipline is either threats, physical punishment, or cajoling and wheedling. I think basic behaviorism should be a prerequisite for all parents. Reward behavior you want to encourage, punish behavior (or remove rewards) you want to extinguish. And be consistent. My dog is more well behaved than most peoples' children.
__________________
"If ten million people believe a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing."

- Anatole France
lurkette is offline  
Old 07-12-2003, 09:13 AM   #6 (permalink)
Junkie
 
Quote:
Originally posted by lurkette
I think part of the problem is that most parents have no clue how to parent effectively. They think that discipline is either threats, physical punishment, or cajoling and wheedling.
Yup. The only problem though is that threats don't work if the parents don't follow through on them. Telling little Johnny that his Xbox is going to get taken away, when he knows through experience that it won't happen, just reinforces the idea that no action will be taken and what the kid is doing is acceptable.

Parents need to start taking more responsiblity when it comes to keeping their children from misbehaving.
__________________
"Fuck these chains
No goddamn slave
I will be different"
~ Machine Head
spectre is offline  
Old 07-12-2003, 09:28 AM   #7 (permalink)
Crazy
 
Location: NYC Metro Area
Many parents feel guilty because of the lack of quakity time they spend with thier kids due to work or whatever...I owned a restaurant years ago and would actually have to tell parents to keep thier little monsters seated or we would ask them to leave the restaurant. If a child gets hurt in your restaurant, and the management did nothing to stop the obnoxious little bastard...guess who got sued?
hotdogg is offline  
Old 07-12-2003, 09:39 AM   #8 (permalink)
it's jam
 
splck's Avatar
 
Location: Lowerainland BC
Crying babies are a part of life folks, get used to it.
However, bad behaivior by older kids dosn't have to be accepted.
My kids behave quite well out in public (quiet, no running around, no fighting), but they occasionally have a break down and loose it. I can tell you that the ones that get pissed off tend to be people that don't have kids (I was one of those people too). Now that I have kids and I see a parent having a hard time with their kids I just give them the "I know what you're going through" look as long as they are dealing with the issue. If my kids start acting up, I'll deal with them and or remove them from the room so they don't disturb other people. I also don't take them to places where it's not appropriate to take kids.

The trick is to follow through on all disipline, as much as it pains you to do so.

Just wait till you have children...you might just change you opinion about kids in public. Chances are you'll be getting "the look", no matter if you are the best parent on earth (in your own mind).
__________________
nice line eh?
splck is offline  
Old 07-12-2003, 09:59 AM   #9 (permalink)
Loser
 
Location: SF Bay Area, CA
I'd still like it tested and proven that it's the parents fault 100% of the time.
butthead is offline  
Old 07-12-2003, 10:33 AM   #10 (permalink)
Huggles, sir?
 
seretogis's Avatar
 
Location: Seattle
Quote:
Originally posted by butthead
I'd still like it tested and proven that it's the parents fault 100% of the time.
If a child does something undesirable, it is the parents' fault.
__________________
seretogis - sieg heil
perfect little dream the kind that hurts the most, forgot how it feels well almost
no one to blame always the same, open my eyes wake up in flames
seretogis is offline  
Old 07-12-2003, 10:40 AM   #11 (permalink)
My future is coming on
 
lurkette's Avatar
 
Moderator Emeritus
Location: east of the sun and west of the moon
Quote:
Originally posted by butthead
I'd still like it tested and proven that it's the parents fault 100% of the time.
It may not be the parent's fault that the child is screaming or misbehaving, but it's absolutely the parent's fault if the child is allowed to keep screaming and misbehaving in a public place. If a kid can't behave they should be removed until they can - take them to the restroom or the car or whatever. It's common courtesy to the rest of the people in the public place who don't want to listen to screaming children. It's different if you're in a park, or even in a grocery store, but in a restaurant or a theater or wherever people pay for an experience, that experience should not include a free floorshow of obnoxious brats.
__________________
"If ten million people believe a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing."

- Anatole France
lurkette is offline  
Old 07-12-2003, 11:28 AM   #12 (permalink)
Addict
 
Location: Northeast Ohio
My Friends cannot even go out to dinner or shopping because their kids are brats...Mine, however, I can take anywhere...They listen and they are respectful.

But I do understand you, because I see the same thing happening, but you have to understand that it is the parents fault for not raising the kids right, not the kids fault.
__________________
"Every tomorrow brings new opportunities, challenges we must address...A chance to affirm all our wishes and dreams, to seek beauty and true happiness."
sierra2774 is offline  
Old 07-12-2003, 11:54 AM   #13 (permalink)
The Northern Ward
 
Location: Columbus, Ohio
We always behaved for mom, because she forced us to, with violence. That's what these kids need, if the parents don't respond to threats, then it's time to trip one of their kids.
__________________
"I went shopping last night at like 1am. The place was empty and this old woman just making polite conversation said to me, 'where is everyone??' I replied, 'In bed, same place you and I should be!' Took me ten minutes to figure out why she gave me a dirty look." --Some guy
Phaenx is offline  
Old 07-12-2003, 12:53 PM   #14 (permalink)
Justified
 
Location: West Lafayette, IN
Quote:
Originally posted by splck
Crying babies are a part of life folks, get used to it.
If you have a crying child, you should have the courtesy to go outside or to the bathroom when your child starts screaming at the top of his or her lungs.

Kids running around doesn't really bother me that much, as long as they aren't screaming.
__________________
Take notice. Take interest. Take me with you.
tikki is offline  
Old 07-12-2003, 01:09 PM   #15 (permalink)
Loser
 
Location: SF Bay Area, CA
Quote:
If a child does something undesirable, it is the parents' fault.
This seems unreasonable.

Quote:
It may not be the parent's fault that the child is screaming or misbehaving, but it's absolutely the parent's fault if the child is allowed to keep screaming and misbehaving in a public place. If a kid can't behave they should be removed until they can - take them to the restroom or the car or whatever. It's common courtesy to the rest of the people in the public place who don't want to listen to screaming children. It's different if you're in a park, or even in a grocery store, but in a restaurant or a theater or wherever people pay for an experience, that experience should not include a free floorshow of obnoxious brats.
This, however, is much more agreeable.

Last edited by butthead; 07-12-2003 at 01:41 PM..
butthead is offline  
Old 07-12-2003, 01:35 PM   #16 (permalink)
My future is coming on
 
lurkette's Avatar
 
Moderator Emeritus
Location: east of the sun and west of the moon
Quote:
Originally posted by splck
Crying babies are a part of life folks, get used to it.
They're not part of my life, and I like it that way. Parents can't help it if a baby is crying but they can take the baby elsewhere if it is really loud or long-lasting. And crying babies just don't belong some places, like theaters, restaurants, etc.

Quote:
Just wait till you have children...you might just change you opinion about kids in public.
I find this a little condescending. Brats are brats regardless of whether you have kids or not. I'm perfectly willing to cut people some slack if their kids are just being a little rambunctious and loud, but it's not okay with me and would never be okay if the parents aren't making any effort to curb truly obnoxious behavior.
__________________
"If ten million people believe a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing."

- Anatole France
lurkette is offline  
Old 07-12-2003, 02:03 PM   #17 (permalink)
Fledgling Dead Head
 
krwlz's Avatar
 
Location: Clarkson U.
Damn, if I misbehaved, I got taken away from the place, wherever it happened to be, and got a stern scolding....It usually got worse when I got home, I soon figured it out, and was as polite as I could be.
krwlz is offline  
Old 07-12-2003, 02:18 PM   #18 (permalink)
Banned
 
Location: St. Paul, MN
I am completely reminded of Brodie's rant about esclatators and small children in Mallrats...

The sad thing is that parents really do impose on other people. The solution might be to have some businesses, etc...be child unfriendly to attract non-parents, and others chase the little hellions and their parents.
chavos is offline  
Old 07-12-2003, 02:49 PM   #19 (permalink)
Banned
 
I feel it's only the parents fault when the child acts up and they disregard it and don't do anything to control them.

The majority of parents do what they can to raise their kids properly and teach them the difference between right and wrong. But some kids, no matter how well you treat them or raise them, are just all out brats.
LittleOralAnnie is offline  
Old 07-12-2003, 04:35 PM   #20 (permalink)
Go Ninja, Go Ninja Go!!
 
Location: IN, USA
i remember once when I was in best buy.. some little girl was having a temper tantrum, and she got mad and just laid down on the floor, to prove she wasn't going anywhere.. mind you she wasn't staying all that quiet. The mother was mad and said FINE! YOU JUST STAY THERE! and let her stay there. That pissed me off. Her husband was smart and got his daughter and brought her outside.. only to have his wife give him that evil glare. Yes, she was a smart one, "Lets just let the kid stay here and make an Ass out of my parenting skills.. If I have any.."

Sure this is a part of life, but so are the parents, they should do soemthing about it. I don't mind a crying child, if the parent cant get them to quiet down... well darn, as long as they are trying. I understand that youcan't always bring them outside... but when they cry and the parent just sits there with the, "Just cry then!" look... oh man, I wanna hurt somone..


Oh.. you can raise them so they aren't just brats... Its tough but it works. My half sister appeared in my life only but a few years ago.... Well her kids didn't see me as anyone, and her son always would just piss me off, and when I asked him to stop, he wouldn't, when I'd get angry, he'd just laugh. That annoyed me for a long time, but eventually I was able to get him to not be so annoying. Sure he can still be a brat... So can I The difference is that he isn't always one. When one method doesn't work, try another.

Besides if they are gonna be brats, that just means lots of timeout without any electronics in the room.. heh.

Side Rant: Why do parents send children to THEIR room. "Go to you room where your X-Box, PS2, Nintendo, computer, and toys are! And you BETTER BE IN THERE IN THREE SECONDS!!" Wow, They're in trouble if they don't go where all there toys are.. thats some rough punishment. Personally If I had a son and a daughter, I think it'd be punishment if you sent them to each other's rooms, and then took away privledges and such for anything out of order..
__________________
RoboBlaster:
Welcome to the club! Not that I'm in the club. And there really isn'a a club in the first place. But if there was a club and if I was in it, I would definitely welcome you to it.

Last edited by GakFace; 07-12-2003 at 04:40 PM..
GakFace is offline  
Old 07-12-2003, 04:49 PM   #21 (permalink)
Huggles, sir?
 
seretogis's Avatar
 
Location: Seattle
Quote:
Originally posted by butthead
This seems unreasonable.
If responsibility for your kids' actions seems that unreasonable to you, please don't have kids.

I'm almost 22, and when I went to restaurants or the grocery store with my parents I knew that I had better not run around destroying things or otherwise misbehaving or there would be consequences. Though not the best parents in some respects, they taught me to behave in public at a young age, and that people who let their kids run around screaming in a restaurant are bad parents.

Everything that your kids do until the day they turn 18 is a reflection of your abilities as a parent.
__________________
seretogis - sieg heil
perfect little dream the kind that hurts the most, forgot how it feels well almost
no one to blame always the same, open my eyes wake up in flames
seretogis is offline  
Old 07-12-2003, 04:49 PM   #22 (permalink)
I and I
 
Location: Stillwater, OK
Quote:
Originally posted by chavos
The solution might be to have some businesses, etc...be child unfriendly to attract non-parents, and others chase the little hellions and their parents.
If rambuncious kids really bother someone, they can always go to places parents wouldn't take kids or where kids weren't allowed. Bars and really nice resturaunts would be exempt from all the little ones. Smaller resturaunts and other places are less likely to have a crying/angry child (smaller max capacity=less number of alloted tantrums).

Of course, no one should give up their favorite gathering place in spite of a wild kids.
Gortexfogg is offline  
Old 07-12-2003, 04:53 PM   #23 (permalink)
Huggles, sir?
 
seretogis's Avatar
 
Location: Seattle
Quote:
Originally posted by GakFace
Side Rant: Why do parents send children to THEIR room. "Go to you room where your X-Box, PS2, Nintendo, computer, and toys are! And you BETTER BE IN THERE IN THREE SECONDS!!" Wow, They're in trouble if they don't go where all there toys are.. thats some rough punishment. Personally If I had a son and a daughter, I think it'd be punishment if you sent them to each other's rooms, and then took away privledges and such for anything out of order..
Yeah that's pretty silly. One thing that the parents of a friend of mine did was have a lockable "den"-like room which contained the TV, radio, console system, computer, etc. So all that really needed to be done for punishment or to ensure that homework gets done, is to lock one room.
__________________
seretogis - sieg heil
perfect little dream the kind that hurts the most, forgot how it feels well almost
no one to blame always the same, open my eyes wake up in flames
seretogis is offline  
Old 07-12-2003, 05:20 PM   #24 (permalink)
Upright
 
Location: WI
I understand that kids have their moments - and I'll cut ANY parent slack as long as they are TRYING to deal with it. BUT - how many time have you been there when the kid is going "Mom Mom Mom Mom MOM! MOM! MOM!MOMOMOMOMOMOMOMOM!!!!" and the parent just talks louder over them. I want to get right in the parents face and scream "ANSWER THEM!!!!!!!!"

The problem is that most parents have no follow through. If you say the dreaded "Or Else" words to a kid you BETTER have an "Else" to back it up with! And something better happen when you get to FIVE if you say "I'm going to count to five".

When my sister went through a rough period in her life I went to live with her and take care of her 3 kids. They were totally out of control. She didn't have the mental energy to deal with them and so they got their way all the time. The first time I took them out to a restuarant (ok, McDonalds - but it still counted) and they startet o act up I told them to stop of we'd leave. When they didn't stop you know what happened? WE LEFT! I picked up their half-eaten food, dumped it in the garbage and took them home. And they got no snacks or anything until the next meal.

It didn't take them long to understand that I meant business. And then they learned that the more they behaved, the more fun places we went. Amusement parks, malls, movies, etc.

Kids aren't stupid - in fact I truely believe that most times they are smarter than their parents! They quickly learn whether a parent will or will not follow through on a threat of punishment and they act on that knowledge.
__________________
Balaniki

"Everyone should have something to believe in.
I believe you should keep your beliefs to yourself."
Balaniki is offline  
Old 07-12-2003, 10:25 PM   #25 (permalink)
Insane
 
Locke's Avatar
 
Location: The reddest state ever. :(
I work at a toy store and have many wonderful (sarcasm) stories of childern and parents. What I find most disturbing is that some parents will just drop off their kids so that they can go shopping. And they expect us to be responsible if the kid gets hurt. Hello, bad parent of the week award. Kids screaming.... I've goten pretty used to, but when that kid is screaming the second they come in and is continuing for a good half hour, in the line at the checkout, thats it. I think part of the problem is you cant whip the kid anymore without someone screaming child abuse. maybe some parents are afraid. Dont blame em, who wants their child taken away. What are they supposed to do?
__________________
CUBS WIN, CUBS WIN!!!! - Pat Hughes
"Don't surround yourself with yourself." Yes
Locke is offline  
Old 07-12-2003, 11:01 PM   #26 (permalink)
Idolator
 
crow_daw's Avatar
 
Location: Vol Country
I'm from the South, and I guess its just a helluva lot more common down here for kids to get whipped. And I think thats the way it should be. And yes, I got whipped too. I got whipped ONCE by my mother before I learned to not back talk her EVER, and that was when I was three years old, and I swear before God, I still remember that. But my grandmother and babysitter on the other hand, used to whip me senseless, and they believed in mental torture too, because they would make me go out to a tree and PICK MY OWN SWITCH! That's insane sounding, but thats what they did. And I turned out fine. I'm sorry, but I'm of the opinion that most of these little brats today need only one thing, and that is one vicious ass thumping.
__________________
"We each have a star, all we have to do is find it. Once you do, everyone who sees it will be blinded." - Earl Simmons
crow_daw is offline  
Old 07-12-2003, 11:03 PM   #27 (permalink)
pow!
 
clavus's Avatar
 
Location: NorCal
Quote:
Originally posted by lurkette
I find this a little condescending. Brats are brats regardless of whether you have kids or not. I'm perfectly willing to cut people some slack if their kids are just being a little rambunctious and loud, but it's not okay with me and would never be okay if the parents aren't making any effort to curb truly obnoxious behavior.
lurkette speaks TRUTH regardless of her child-bearing situation. I have kids. I totally agree with her.
__________________
Ass, gas or grass. Nobody rides for free.
clavus is offline  
Old 07-13-2003, 02:56 AM   #28 (permalink)
Delicious
 
Reese's Avatar
 
Maybe it's time for a POV from someone with Very bratty kids in the family. I have a half-sister who is older than me, and 2 step-sisters who are 4 and 3 years old. My older sister was controllable and minded but she did get into alot of trouble when left alone. I was the perfect child My youngest sister is a little angel and doesn't do anything bad until you turn your head. The 4 year old however is the Devil. She is uncontrollable, hateful, destructive, and dangerous. I don't think it's right to blame the parents because they really do everything they can to try to keep the kid under control. You can give her a whipping every time she did something but about that would equal about 900 whippings an hours which is useless so why keep doing it. I understand the problems people have with kids, but remember the problem child is giving the parents a much harder time than they will ever give you in the 20 minutes you set beside them in Mcdonalds.

Some kids are just uncontrollable. I wonder if kids in the 1950's and earlier had ADHD... never heard of them.. but then again there wouldn't be saying like "a child should be seen, not heard" if there wasn't a problem child among them.
__________________
“It is better to be rich and healthy than poor and sick” - Dave Barry
Reese is offline  
Old 07-13-2003, 03:46 AM   #29 (permalink)
Crazy
 
Location: Jersey
I totally agree. I think parents today say things but then never follow through with what they say. Therefore, the children know they can get away with things or that their parents will eventually give in to them. I mean, when I was brought up, I knew not to misbehave out in public. And if I did something to get in trouble I was repremanded then without threats or physical abuse.
yoshi is offline  
Old 07-13-2003, 04:08 AM   #30 (permalink)
pinche vato
 
warrrreagl's Avatar
 
Location: backwater, Third World, land of cotton
For more discussion on this topic, check out an earlier thread:

http://tfproject.org/tfp/showthread....&threadid=7861
__________________
Living is easy with eyes closed.
warrrreagl is offline  
Old 07-13-2003, 04:22 AM   #31 (permalink)
Upright
 
Location: WI
Quote:
Originally posted by cybermike
Some kids are just uncontrollable.
Fine. I have no problem with that - it's life.

But don't take them out in public and allow them to bother other people!

That just seems to be such a foreign concept to people.

I'm now to the point where I'll say NO if they try to seat us next to a table with kids.

Look at it this way - if you had a drunk sitting at the table next to you, being all loud and obnoxious would you just take it or complain to the management?

If the kids are obnoxious and the parents aren't even TRYING to control them - call over the management and COMPLAIN!!!

Maybe if more people complained restuarants would get the idea!
__________________
Balaniki

"Everyone should have something to believe in.
I believe you should keep your beliefs to yourself."
Balaniki is offline  
Old 07-13-2003, 04:48 AM   #32 (permalink)
Crazy
 
cybermike: My knowledge of psychology/behaviorism is lacking, and I hope that if I become a parent that I will learn far more about those fields. Regardless, I strongly suspect that the parents <b>were</b> heavily responsible for how their kids act. Even if they appear to be trying really hard, trying really hard != results. If a child misbehaves that badly, I think it is not because the child is intrinsically bad, but because the child is not properly taught/reinforced how to behave.

Balaniki: That reminds me of an article in my microeconomics book discussing the possibility of parents with children being forced to pay more to compensate for the negative externalities produced by their children. It makes sense, since if you, who has no loud children, must pay the same amount as someone who has multiple obnoxious children, then the obnoxious children are not being taken into account. It is rather surprising that some places will let young children get in for less when they should be paying more than the average. An addition to this would be the possiblity of using the increased cost to children to subsidise cheaper costs for people who have to deal with the children (such as the people nearby).

Last edited by nulltype; 07-13-2003 at 04:52 AM..
nulltype is offline  
Old 07-13-2003, 01:28 PM   #33 (permalink)
Loser
 
Location: SF Bay Area, CA
Quote:
If responsibility for your kids' actions seems that unreasonable to you, please don't have kids.
Living by dumbfuck philosophies like believing I can totally control a person is something I don't do.
butthead is offline  
Old 07-13-2003, 01:34 PM   #34 (permalink)
The Northern Ward
 
Location: Columbus, Ohio
You can totally control someone with a muzzle and chains, if all else fails.
__________________
"I went shopping last night at like 1am. The place was empty and this old woman just making polite conversation said to me, 'where is everyone??' I replied, 'In bed, same place you and I should be!' Took me ten minutes to figure out why she gave me a dirty look." --Some guy
Phaenx is offline  
Old 07-13-2003, 01:50 PM   #35 (permalink)
Junkie
 
gov135's Avatar
 
Location: Midwest
I don't have kids. I wish alot of kids were better behaved.

But there is nothing you can do about - so why do I get the impression that lot of people in this thread let other people's kids disrupt their experiences? You are correct - their parents need to be shot and the kids need to control themselves. But when you let them affect your good time, you are the idiot.
gov135 is offline  
Old 07-13-2003, 02:08 PM   #36 (permalink)
Huggles, sir?
 
seretogis's Avatar
 
Location: Seattle
Quote:
Originally posted by butthead
Living by dumbfuck philosophies like believing I can totally control a person is something I don't do.
If you think that raising your children with respect for others is a "dumbfuck philosophy", please don't have kids.
__________________
seretogis - sieg heil
perfect little dream the kind that hurts the most, forgot how it feels well almost
no one to blame always the same, open my eyes wake up in flames
seretogis is offline  
Old 07-13-2003, 04:31 PM   #37 (permalink)
My own person -- his by choice
 
Location: Lebell's arms
I do have kids -- 5 of them. One was a real "brat." He was not allowed to disturb others in public! We used consequences, not punishement, to "control" his behavior. (I have never spanked!) Sorry J, but you have two choices, sit politely in the restaurant and visit or sit in the car while we eat. There were several meals he watched us eat from the car. The other 4 children and restaurant patrons appreciated the calm. It only took a couple of times of waiting in the car, for J to learn that I was serious and to "correct his behavior."

Good parenting is hard work! There is no such thing as the perfect parent, nor the perfect child. But it can be done and the only one to blame if misbehavior is allowed to continue is the parent.
__________________
If you can go deeply into lovemaking, the ego disappears. That is the beauty of lovemaking, that it is another source of a glimpse of god

It's not about being perfect; it's about developing some skill at managing imperfection.
sexymama is offline  
Old 07-13-2003, 05:22 PM   #38 (permalink)
Loser
 
Location: SF Bay Area, CA
Quote:
If you think that raising your children with respect for others is a "dumbfuck philosophy", please don't have kids.
Who said anything about raising kids to have respect for others?! I would do what I could to correct disruptive behavior, of course, but I can't be in total control of my kids actions, if that were true I would have no need to correct disruptive behavior and may as well buy a robot assembly kit.

How would you totally control your kids actions?

Good parenting is hard work, but I think there are, to a certain degree, things you cannot control or anticipate at all times.
butthead is offline  
Old 07-14-2003, 03:09 AM   #39 (permalink)
Squid
 
MikeyChalupa's Avatar
 
Location: USS George Washington
We were indoor kids growing up, and my brothers and I spent lots of time in our rooms with the phone, TV, stereo, computer, Atari, and so on. My parents very quickly learned that grounding us was not an effective deterrent. Unlike my brothers though, my problems weren't disciplinary, they were school-related. Anyway, they'd remove item by item from our rooms until it was not fun in there anymore and my dad's room looked like a friggin' Radio Shack.

As far as kids in public, I've heard that in China it is legal (and encouraged) to physically discipline other people's children in public. I have yet to visit China though. Can anyone confirm this?

-Mikey
MikeyChalupa is offline  
Old 07-14-2003, 04:12 AM   #40 (permalink)
Delicious
 
Reese's Avatar
 
Balaniki, I don't take my sister ANYWHERE, and my parents have hardly no life because they do not like causing a scene in public. You cannot say that my parents are bad parents because they have raised 2 respectful children. They have working on raising two more, one of which is out of control, and the other is a perfectly normal child.

I have lost many toys, I've been grounded, I've had to stand in the corner, I've had to sit on the couch for hours with no tv or toys because I've misbebaved and I soon learned, the same tactics do not work with this child.

Nulltype - Tell me, how do think a child should be taught? My parents have tried everything and if you can magically come up with a solution they'd gladly try it, I can guarantee anything you can think of has been tried.

They go to very few places in the first place and have to leave early almost every time.
__________________
“It is better to be rich and healthy than poor and sick” - Dave Barry
Reese is offline  
 

Tags
children, places, public

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 04:38 AM.

Tilted Forum Project

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0 PL2
© 2002-2012 Tilted Forum Project

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 161 162 163 164 165 166 167 168 169 170 171 172 173 174 175 176 177 178 179 180 181 182 183 184 185 186 187 188 189 190 191 192 193 194 195 196 197 198 199 200 201 202 203 204 205 206 207 208 209 210 211 212 213 214 215 216 217 218 219 220 221 222 223 224 225 226 227 228 229 230 231 232 233 234 235 236 237 238 239 240 241 242 243 244 245 246 247 248 249 250 251 252 253 254 255 256 257 258 259 260 261 262 263 264 265 266 267 268 269 270 271 272 273 274 275 276 277 278 279 280 281 282 283 284 285 286 287 288 289 290 291 292 293 294 295 296 297 298 299 300 301 302 303 304 305 306 307 308 309 310 311 312 313 314 315 316 317 318 319 320 321 322 323 324 325 326 327 328 329 330 331 332 333 334 335 336 337 338 339 340 341 342 343 344 345 346 347 348 349 350 351 352 353 354 355 356 357 358 359 360