mixedmedia

Up until the point that I moved here about 18 months ago, I have always shared a computer with someone - either my husband or my daughters. Even still, my youngest daughter has access to my computer at times even though she has her own. And until I moved my computer just today, it was sitting in the living room where anyone could sit down and start browsing through my files, my emails, my browser history, etc. if they had a mind to. So I've never actually been concerned about the privacy of my files.

That's not to say that I don't have files that are sensitive. I have nude photos of myself and a very large collection of photos of other naked people doing...nakedy things.

The way I see it, if I have a folder that I don't want someone to accidentally run across, I make it so that it is not readily accessible. I put them in folders within folders with innocuous-sounding names. No passwords or hidden files, just 'out of the way.'

But I've noticed for years here on TFP that many people have an idea of computer privacy that is much different than mine. The idea of 'snooping' seems almost tantamount to criminal voyeurism or other similar violations of individual security and/or privacy. Particularly among men which (slow down now) I can understand to a point. I realize that a porn collection belonging to a man is viewed, I guess...differently than a porn collection belonging to a woman. Or rather, it is more sensitive for some reason. Some of that being the approbation of their wives or girlfriends, which is unfortunate, but I can't help but believe there is something more to it than that. Or is there not? I'm just wondering out loud here.

Anyway, what is your own personal opinion on computer privacy? Do you take great measures to keep your files and activity private? And, if so, why?

Note: this is not an attempt to provoke a heated discussion about 'what women do' and 'what men do' so let's try and keep it on point. Thank you.

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Most people go through life dreading they'll have a traumatic experience. Freaks were born with their trauma. They've already passed their test in life. They're aristocrats. - Diane Arbus
PESSIMISM, n. A philosophy forced upon the convictions of the observer by the disheartening prevalence of the optimist with his scarecrow hope and his unsightly smile. - Ambrose Bierce

The_Jazz

Interesting. We have shared computers but certain computers end up being primarily used by individual in the house. Ergo, I have one I view as "mine" even though its the only one in the house that can print.

I do not have a large porn "collection". Actually I have no "collection" beyond what's in my internet cache. But I do have various sensitive material that I'd rather keep out of reach for the casual user of my computer (wife, visitors, etc.). All that stuff is password protected as well as hidden away (mostly in the cloud). If someone is snooping on my machine, they won't stumble across something unless they're really trying to pry.

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"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety." - B. Franklin
"There ought to be limits to freedom." - George W. Bush
"We have met the enemy and he is us." - Pogo

mixedmedia

I just thought of something I need to add.

There was a time in my last marriage during which I had an online relationship of a sexual nature with another man. This was approx. 11 years ago...so hard to believe. At that time I did have a private email box and took measures to keep it secret and was successful at it for almost two years. During that time (and particularly after being 'caught') the nature of the relationship became that of an intimate friendship. And inconceivably enough, we are still friends to this day. That's beside the point though, I guess. I don't think I've ever talked about that here before...

But I mention it to hopefully free up the atmosphere and dispel any illusions that this thread is meant to judge or condemn people for their actions to protect computer privacy. I'm well aware that we are all human. So there.

__________________
Most people go through life dreading they'll have a traumatic experience. Freaks were born with their trauma. They've already passed their test in life. They're aristocrats. - Diane Arbus
PESSIMISM, n. A philosophy forced upon the convictions of the observer by the disheartening prevalence of the optimist with his scarecrow hope and his unsightly smile. - Ambrose Bierce

snowy

We both feel we don't have anything to hide (i.e., we know each others' passwords), but we try to respect the wishes of the other person when we do use what is "their" computer. My husband has had to use "my" computer a lot lately as his kind of died a few months ago. He has his own user account on my computer, but if he's just getting on for a little bit, he usually doesn't log me out and log himself in. Instead, he just uses Chrome and I use Opera to keep our internetty things separate.

I could care less if he has a porn collection, and similarly, he could care less if I have one. He is well aware of the fact I write erotica. That is the one aspect of my computer I prefer to keep private, and he respects that. He doesn't go looking for my writing.

A couple weeks ago, we had some friends over (very good friends) and our guy friend sat down at my laptop and just started using it, without even asking me I told him he was one of the few people in my life who could EVER get away with doing that. Generally, if people are coming over, I hibernate my computer so someone can't get on without my password (and good luck to them if they can figure it out).

I guess what's more important to me is that we trust each other.

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Lindy

Yeah, I hope that we don't have to justify our concerns or steps taken for computer security. The fact that it is MY computer with MY data and other stuff in MY house or office should be in and of itself sufficient reason to keep YOU out of it.

Lindy

mixedmedia

um ok. I'm pretty sure I've never been in YOUR house looking for YOUR data, but hey, thanks for responding.

---------- Post added at 06:17 PM ---------- Previous post was at 06:16 PM ----------

and, for the record, the OP is directed towards computer privacy amongst people who live together. not TFP members who break into your house and start looking at your shit.

---------- Post added at 06:28 PM ---------- Previous post was at 06:17 PM ----------

Well, you see, I've never foreseen someone coming over and hopping on my computer unbidden. My daughters do it but #1 the older girls know mama's into naked pictures and #2 I'm not really a frequenter of highly commercial porn sites with eye-catching names. So if someone starts typing 'coccyx' into my browser's address bar, for instance, they're not going to come up with any autofill variations that start with the word 'cock.' But it's something to think about, I guess...

__________________
Most people go through life dreading they'll have a traumatic experience. Freaks were born with their trauma. They've already passed their test in life. They're aristocrats. - Diane Arbus
PESSIMISM, n. A philosophy forced upon the convictions of the observer by the disheartening prevalence of the optimist with his scarecrow hope and his unsightly smile. - Ambrose Bierce

noodle

You know, if you're sharing a computer, you have to know that something might inadvertently be "found". S has complete access to my computer and my trust. I have some access to his computer (I don't really care what's on there, to be honest) and his trust.

I find this interesting, MM, did you hear about the man charged with felony for reading wife's email?
If a computer is shared property, you gotta have some trust, or take steps, as Jazz and MM have mentioned. I think the argument in this particular news story is going to be that the computer was shared property, not the email account... which in itself is a little different that the OP, so in an attempt to keep from derailing the thread, I'll shut up, but it was interesting.

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amonkie

I am a pretty private person while also being quite open, as contradictory as that may sound. A lot of my personal interactions and my life is housed online simply for practicality due to distance and living a very mobile life. So, my computer and emails, by extension, carry a lot of sensitive information.

When I was living with my ex, we both had our own computers and it was an unspoken hands off without due cause, such as using the printer. I really don't care whats on the computer, if its truly of any importance I expect to have open communication about it.

I am not one to handle overbearing and inquisitive SO's well. While I don't have anything to hide, I am extremely used to having complete autonomy and privacy. Things are where they make sense to me. If I foresee computer use by a guest being neccessary, I'll just log out entirely ahead of time and prompt the guest account, or else say "sorry, no i really would prefer you not use my computer".

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mixedmedia

I'm the same way. I'm not at all curious about the content of my (former) bf's computer, but at the same time he was never possessive or secretive about it, either. There were times when he was at work and needed me to look for things on his computer so I would start it up, find what he needed and shut it back down. I do think that when there is an understanding that there is porn your spouse's computer and you have no qualms about the porn then you are, in general, less curious about the content of your spouse's computer. Unless of course there is something you are suspicious of such as infidelity or crime.

That is interesting. And I can't say that I agree with those charges...but I suppose if the circumstances were different I might be persuaded to see it differently.

---------- Post added at 07:14 PM ---------- Previous post was at 07:12 PM ----------

me, either.

__________________
Most people go through life dreading they'll have a traumatic experience. Freaks were born with their trauma. They've already passed their test in life. They're aristocrats. - Diane Arbus
PESSIMISM, n. A philosophy forced upon the convictions of the observer by the disheartening prevalence of the optimist with his scarecrow hope and his unsightly smile. - Ambrose Bierce

Charlatan

We each have our own laptop(s). In my case, I have it password protected and that password kicks in within a couple of minutes of it being idle.

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The_Jazz

Now shush before you give away all my plans for 2011. I told you that in confidence!

I read about that last week. It's complete and utter horseshit.

__________________
"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety." - B. Franklin
"There ought to be limits to freedom." - George W. Bush
"We have met the enemy and he is us." - Pogo

GreyWolf

I have teenage children, so I'm careful not to keep anything sensitive unprotected (that includes my financials, as well as anything else I deem age-inappropriate). All our computers are shared, as are the network drives, so sensitive materials are protected at the file level, not the account/machine level. That means I keep very little that would invite prying eyes simply by the filename on a local machine.

That said, EVERYONE needs a place to have private thoughts and ideas. It isn't a reflection on a relationship, it's part of human nature. Openness is great, but we all have dark recesses that should not really be shared. I respect this absolutely and do not pry into anyone else's files. I enforce that on others by encryption or not keeping local copies of the files.

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Craven Morehead

If our OS will allow it, set up an account for you that is password protected. Move all of your files into this account. Set up a guest account for others to use when they want to use your PC. This will at least provide a level of security (minimal, but its a start) that would provide some file protection but more importantly it would eliminate someone from sitting down at your PC and logging on to your bank account or PayPal or some other site that is ecommerce related.

Daniel_

I don't like people messing with my "stuff" - be it digital or real. It's just part of how I am.

It's not even about trust - I don't like someone moving my shoes in the hallway. As a consequence, my PC locks itself down if idle for 2minutes, at home and at work. Ditto my phone. I've never caught anyone trying it on, and I think that if my wife wanted to look through my PC I'd let her, but as a matter of course, the only person I want using my PC is me.

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Overhead, the Albatross hangs motionless upon the air,
And deep beneath the rolling waves,
In labyrinths of Coral Caves,
The Echo of a distant time
Comes willowing across the sand;
And everthing is Green and Submarine
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Grasshopper Green

We share a computer and each have our own profile. He does not know my password, but I know his. The only reason we have separate profiles is because my work files are on my profile and while I don't think he'd do anything to them, my son could accidentally erase or alter something. Our son has his own profile as well with limits on what websites he can access and when he can be on it.

I really don't know if hubby has actual porn images on his profile - I know he looks at porn, it's not an issue with us. I don't think he has anything to hide, I know I certainly don't.

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Formerly Medusa

ARTelevision

I must say the words "computer privacy" strike me as oxymoronic...as a subset of the master oxymoron, known as "computer security" Did you ever wonder why OS makers don't give us easy ways to password protect folders?

That being said, the issue is trust, really. Trust is what binds us together... We have love and caring and desire for each other, but trust is the bottom line, I think. There are no absolutes, of course. So - no easy answers in this regard.

We don't do so well with relationships...witness all the miserable ones. We have our hidden places by virtue of the way we're made. We have little pockets of what we like to think of as "privacy" But we do the best we can, I hope.

Ultimately the problem with our relationships is ourselves, after all. So how good can they ever really be? we're not going to find external solutions that somehow fix the broken parts within ourselves.

Some rambling thoughts on the last day of the old year...

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mixedmedia

yes, even though I have my one episode of real, deliberate deception, I depend on the trust of my loved ones. I presume it even, and find it intolerable to be treated otherwise because I go to great lengths to remain available and transparent with the people who are close to me - as is appropriate, of course, depending on whether you are my child, my lover, my parent, sibling, etc. etc. Therefore this idea of my 'privacy' is something vague and illusive. It exists until it doesn't anymore, and that's fine.

---------- Post added at 03:11 PM ---------- Previous post was at 03:05 PM ----------

I think that coming out of a ten year marriage that was full of secrets and deception of a heartbreakingly enormous magnitude has shaped my attitude toward privacy today.

__________________
Most people go through life dreading they'll have a traumatic experience. Freaks were born with their trauma. They've already passed their test in life. They're aristocrats. - Diane Arbus
PESSIMISM, n. A philosophy forced upon the convictions of the observer by the disheartening prevalence of the optimist with his scarecrow hope and his unsightly smile. - Ambrose Bierce

ARTelevision

Yes, exactly. Everything you say here is in the spirit of my response. I think complex notions that do justice to the depth of our actual experience can be discussed. It's just our collective desire for easy answers that trips us up, it seems. And we often find our simple statements (of belief, perhaps) don't really end up illuminating our way...

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ring

Kinda like Deborah Kerr singing a veiled scarf version of "Getting to Know You."