What's the laziest thing you've ever done?
 

I once called my house from my car that was parked at the curb in front of my house to get someone to bring me my car keys, which I had forgotten. They did.
Can anyone beat this, or can I proclaim myself the laziest person ever?

just turn me over and pull out my wallt to see a picture of the laziest thing I've ever done...

My dad raised the laziest kids in the world. At least that's what he says. Have you ever seen that Snickers commercial where the guy is yelling for help and a little girl passing by on the sidewalk hears him and runs into the house to help, and he asks for the TV remote sitting 5 foot away from him? I've done that.

I once watched 2 men throw themselves to the ground because they were too lazy to get up and get a beer out of the fridge. they "fell over" next to the fridge, pulled it open, grabbed a few beers, passed em over to the buddy on the couch, and then got pulled back up. much laughing ensued. :)

I threw myself off the couch so I didn't have to get up to get another beer out of the mini-fridge next to the TV, then had my roommate pull me back up onto the couch.

Got my beer and didn't lift a muscle.

AND WE HAVE THE CONFESSION!

well the laziest thing i've ever done is nothing. I thought that was the idea. You have to appreciate that theres physically lazy and mentally lazy. For example its quite clever how juanvaldes managed to get that beer, but was quite physcially lazy. I try not to be lazy though....

I got my laptop working last night so i brought it to bed and didnt get up till 2 PM because i had no need to, as i could do allmost everything from it.

It once trained my little toe to move on its own so i wouldn't have to keep sitting up to either: a) pick up the remote, or b) Change the channel with my finger...

I once ate a whole apple (I'm talking every last little bit here) just so I didn't have to get up and put the core in the bin or throw it out the open window.

Absolutely nothing...

I sat on #tfp for most of yesterday. that was pretty lazy of me. :D

_

When I used to skip class.

Cause in that example, you were paying lots of money to go - and if you didn't - whatever lazy thing you were doing instead cost dollars. :D

.

No,seriously

I once used my cellphone to call over the waiter, since I would have had to put too much effort in yelling so he'd hear me :D

i used to do that all the time too. i'd yell for my little brother and then when he'd get there i'd be like, can you turn the volume up? or close my door, change the channel, turn off my light, etc. but i don't think i was really being lazy, i was just being an ass. no wonder he hated me until i moved out.

ok, i did this this morning, i was too lazy to reach over to the desktop (4 feet away from my bed), so i took my laptop, which was sitting at the dresser at the top of my bed to remote connect to my desktop.

dorky, but lazy.

LOL!

Cynthetiq wins!!!!!

I've actually not eaten for a whole day because I was too lazy to fix anything worth while...

My Life.

Drank too much and then instead of getting up and going to the bathroom, I just pissed myself...Hey, you asked...

Called my wife's cell phone and asked her to come downstairs when she was just out of vocal range at the top of the stairs.

BAHAHAHAHAHA you win by far, thats a great story, ive done the same but with vomit. that was gross

So many situations where my extreme lazy ways start kicking in. For example when there is a light that is on and I want it off I start grabbing anything near me and throwing it at the lightswitch as opposed to moving up. That goes the same for getting things.

For example the tv remote was on the ground in front of me and me having a towel next to me throw the towel on top fo the remote and drag it towards me as opposed to getting up.

I just bought a wireless keyboard and mouse so I can surf the tfp from bed while watching tv.

Mine just now happened. I was chatting with a friend on MSN Messenger, and I had my right hand on the mouse, and my left hand on my television remote, and my friend said "brb". So instead of moving either hand to the keyboard to type the damn letter K, I swear I highlighted and dragged the letter K from my sign on name to the conversation box and clicked Send. Thats pretty bad.

It wasn't me but it was my brother

He yelled my name from his room upstairs and once I got up there he asked if I could turn off the light for him. Lazy ass.

i bought an Airport base station for that. Nothing like sitting in bed on the internet.

I've skipped meals because I was too lazy to walk less than a block to McDonald's.

...and this doesn't exactly count as lazy, but I've gotten up off the couch to grab a remote control that was sitting on top of the entertainment stand, rather than just pushing the button on the tv while I was there. Of course with our short attentions spans and channel surfing, that probably isn't too uncommon anymore.

I have the regular remote for the TV on the couch, and a universal for that TV on the chair 6 feet away. Once I find some batteries, I'll have a third for the other chair

Not only was this lazy, it was damn stupid. i was to lazy to check the oil in my engine for something like a few month. Every day I'd come back home, get out of the car, look at it, and say "naaaaah". I almost killed the engine and it cost me a pretty penny to get it fixed.

Made the bed while I was in it. Or had three kids just in case I lose the remote.

Sat on the computer for 36 hours?

just sit at home and do nothing. maybe watch tv, pc, sleep, food, bathroom.

I'm not sure if this is really lazy, but one time I wanted to turn the sterio on. So I got off the couch, walked over to the sterio, grabbed the remote on top of it and walked back to the couch. Thn I sat down again and turned the sterio on.

mine is similar to juan's... which is brilliant, by the way :)

I wanted across the room.. so I grabbed a friend of mine and told them to walk.. they drug me from the couch and across the room.. I can't remember what I retrieved.. .but then I realized my new problem.. I was now around 20 feet from the couch... I waited for them to walk back by and hitched another ride..

reminded me of those fish that ride on sharks :)

i once called my girlfriend on her mobile phone as she was sitting in my car about 15 metres away and asked her to bring me some documents that were in the glovebox.
but she topped my effort by driving the car over to me and passing them to me from the window.
:lol:

i wanted to masturbate but i was so lazy i couldn't find the energy to do anyrhing. :D

hey, you should join the partnership for a wank free TFP. unless you're too lazy.

I always floss and brush my teeth in the shower, but that's pretty lame compared to everyone else's responses.

i'm definitely too lazy not to masturbate

Hmm, my first year at college was a mix of really really hard work and incredible laziness.

Serious lazy: Did no exercie for most of high school, and wouldn't actually do anything to keep in shape, gained over a hundred pounds.

Good Lazy: Hit college at 300 pounds, but was too lazy/shy to go to the dining hall, and lost 30 pounds in one quarter. Wouldn't eat until I was very tired/weak,and would then find something that could be heated in a microwave in less than 30 seconds (the microwave was broken...didn't get it fixed for 2 quarters).

Most of my laziness is poorly planned, though. It usually makes me work harder in the long run. Example: too lazy to pay for a parking space at college (might have to walk as well!) so I parked in 30 minute parking all day, watching for the parking services to come by, then timing the half hour on my watch, going down, circling the dorm, then pulling into the other 30 min. space.

Now I've used the 30 pounds I lost from total laziness (well about 35, since I got slightly less lazy the last 2 quarters, and ate at least once or twice a day) as a head start to get into a rigorous diet and exercise program.

PS (just remembered this) at college I had a 9x10 single dorm room and wouldn't take the trash all the way to the dumpster (had an elevator even!) until I had over a dozen pizza boxes and 4 or 5 bags of trash in the corner. That may have been one of the laziest things I've ever done.

i woke up and had missed lunch in the cafeteria, so i went back to sleep, and missed dinner. i was too hung over to move besides struggleing to goto pee but i had a good time the night b4

i had to type in a couple of windows and instead of taking my hand off the keyboard to use the mouse, i just used my keyboard with ALT+TAB the whole time.

or...

i was sitting down with my hands on my lap or table while watching a movie or something on my computer and someone instant messaged me. i was so lazy that i only bothered to pick up one hand to respond with a "k"

I`ve done that, but I was sober.

Playing third base one afternoon, a slow grounder was hit right to me. Rather than bend over and field it with my glove, I stuck my left foot out sideways and tried to stop it with my foot. Of course, it bounced right over my foot.

I've never done anything lazy. I'm hyperactive.


Actually, that's a lie.

eh...

Once i was at a party, and i got extremely drunk. I woke up with my head on some guys lap, and he had a boner. I couldn't be bothered moving, so i just fell back to sleep.

i thought this was a thread about the laziest thing you've done, not the gayest. :D

I don't think I'll win for this, but I peed in my closet, five feet from my bed, instead of going to the bathroom, 10 feet from my bed.


I guess I'm lazy.

Well I peed in my bed.

well i .. never mind to lazy

Productive lazy:

As a kid, I setup string and eye-hooks so that I could turn off and on the light switch from my bed.

I rearranged my room so I could watch the tv without having to turn around. it was more work in the short term, but my neck is thanking me in the long run :D

I'm not too bad, but my friend Wil is the laziest person ever.
I got pissed off at him for not parking the car when we found a space at university. He told me it wasn't close enough to our building. He claims that driving for 30 extra minutes to find a parking space is okay, if it saves you a 5-minute walk. I gave up. He's done this several times.

Well.. The laziest thing i have ever done was when my sister and her boyfriend where humpin away in her room that is just bellow mine. I was trying to get some sleep but her moaning and his grunting was disturbing me... so i picked up my cellphone (witch i also use as a wakeup timer) and called her cell and told her to keep it down...

http://www.veeblefetzer.pwp.blueyond...attachment.jpg
I took the escalator.

I had a bunk bed when i was younger and the tv was at the foot of it so id watch movies at night when the movie was over the screen would go blue and youd have to turn it off. the remote fell between the wall and the bed and i didnt want to reach down and find it so i grabbed a towel from the floor and covered the spot where the light would be by hanging it from the top bunch so i could sleep.

I've been meaning to do that for months, but I've been too lazy to go the computer store in the mall that I cut through daily on my way to and from work. I'm too lazy to enhance my Laziness Quotient.....


That's so lazy it defies reason.

Used the on screen keyboard with my wireless mouse on my leg to type stuff so I wouldn't have to slide the keyoard out or sit up in my chair.

absolutely nothing!!! thats fukin lazy

ive done that at my cousins house, we never found a way to lazily turn the lights back on though..

This was from my second year in college, and actually was posted on the college forums. Part of it was posted by my roommate and I updated it later. This is multiple posts combined and edited to make sense...


I went to bed at 5am after reading a book (leisure reading, not for a class) for hours. I woke up at 9, turned my alarm off, slept through my 10 and 11 classes, woke up again at 3pm. As soon as I woke up I picked up my book, same one, I've been reading it since, read right through dinner and 5pm class... still haven't left the bed. Oh, I skipped my tutoring session as well, I'm not leaving my bed today.

After my 5pm class(which I didn't attend) I continued to lie in bed, and eat the occasional Pepperoni Roll. Which, thank goodness, were within reaching distance from my bed. I continued reading for a few hours until about 8pm, when [roommate] and his girlfriend decided to watch a movie. I was the closest person to the VCR, so naturally I was supposed to push the video in. Being the lazy ass that I am, I figured my feet were closer than my hands so they should do the work. I deftly pushed the video in and started the movie. Emboldened by the success of this maneuver I decided that I could probably open the fridge and get myself a Mt. Dew with my feet too. Unfortunately [roommate] had failed to mention the half full Dew he had left there. Which I inevitably spilled all over the floor. Less than 2 minutes later I had cleaned that up and was back in my bed. Where I stayed (for the most part) until midnight. All told, it was a wonderful day

During the past 24 hours I've spent less than 15 minutes out of my bed. And, I will most likely be there until noon tomorrow.

[roommate posted this]:
StuckShut update, he just said (at 1:45 pm) "ah, I think it's time to get dressed for the first time in two days, maybe that'll make some of the stink go away."

All told, I was in bed for around 52 hours straight. It was truly a wonderful experience.

pooped next to a port-o-potty.

I've had days where i slept 14 hours and sat the other 10 (not doing anything productive). that count as lazy?

almost every night I lie on my bed out cold for hours......fucking lazy bastard I am

I peed in an empty soda bottle next to my bed because I was too lazy to go to the bathroom. The thing is that the bottle was starting to fill up and I still had to pee, so I had to get up and go to the bathroom anyway.

I was hungry and did not feel like walking the 1/2 block to McDonalds, so I drove.

On another occasion I was to lazy to walk the 5 feet to the bathroom so I opened the sliding door and pissed on my neighbors car:D

When i was at uni i couldn't be bothered to get out of bed to change the tv channel, so i used half a pool cue to jab the buttons with.
i didnt always get the right button but it was better than getting out of bed!

not reply to a good post

what you call laziness, I call extreme energy efficiency

i set up two different lines leading from my bed to my bedroom door so i could open it for someone without getting up, and close it behind them.

I have a little 17 Inch tv in the basement with no remote. So I use a yard stick to switch channels.

Funny thing is I have a new 55 inch HDTV upstairs in our media room but we don't smoke upstairs so there I sit in the basement with my smokes, cold beer, and yard stick.

Oatmeal container( plain 100% rolled oats)
Spoon
Cup of water

Use spoon to mix water and oatmeal in mouth because your to lazy to get up and use the microwave, because you just caused enough friction to start a fire in a super wank that left you drained and dehydrated.

laziest thing I have ever done??? Exactly what I am doing right now

i gotta have one of those! where can you get them...? can you get me one?

I'll get back to you when I finally do something . . . was gonna do something yesterday but hey I was too friggin lazy . .

this one isn't mine, but i was a victim of someone else's laziness:

my friend and i were sitting on the couch, watching television and smoking (cigarettes) with the ashtray on the coffee table not two feet away. my friend asked me to hand him the ash tray, all the while keeping his hand resting on the couch at his side. he coaxed me along until i had the ashtray directly under his burning cigarette. he flicked it with the smallest motion of his thumb, said thanks, and turned back to the television. i could not believe it.

Getting prepared to go to visit the mother in-law.

My turn signals in front were stolen off my car (after market clear signals) several months ago, I immediately ordered replacements off of ebay, and have been staring at the unopened box on my computer desk for the past 2 months just because I don't want to go out and buy the bulbs (just ordered the covers)

i havent watched tv in several months because im too lazy to turn it on, and the removes been sitting on top of the tv for about that long.

4325
 

sleep on someone's lawn that i did not know because I was too lazy to walk anymore

i've rearranged my entire room to be able to watch tv, use the phone, reach the fridge, and use my computer, all from bed.

and i did this in two separate rooms, on two separate occassions.

more recently, instead of simply bending over to pick up my keyboard off the floor, i've typed huge responses to things using the on screen keyboard in windows... and set it so that i didn't have to click on each letter, just hover over it.

and back in february, my little brother (12 years old) was hanging out with me at my apartment. i was sitting on the couch and had no ashtray, so he held out his hands, jokingly.

worked for me. i ashed my entire cigarette into his hands with him periodically walking to the trash can to empty them. sucker.

i rearranged my dorm room so I could do everything (use the computer, get food, watch tv, talk on the phone, get dressed, do homework) from my bed

I slept for 20 hours

Honestly, I do this all of the time at work - though I rationalize it as wanting to continue listening to my music, etc.

We've got a bunch of servers with an attached console (through a KVM switch) about a good 5 or 6 feet from my cube (around the corner on a large "build station" table setup. Rather than walk to them and do some pithy task (ie: edit one line in a configuration file and log back out), I'll Remote Desktop in, make the change, and log out. It ends up taking longer to RDP in than it would to walk there. But I got lazy.

Whats this thread about? I was too lazy to read the title & ensuing posts

If I'm watching TV and lose the remote, I say to whoever's there "Uhh, can you come in here for a minute?" followed by "Can you turn the volume down a notch?"

A coworker and I have a system of taking trash from the office to the dumpster, since walking 70 feet is too much work. We hop in my car, he holds it out the passenger door, then I drive up to the dumpster close enough that he can chuck it in there without getting out.

My kitchen is about 5 feet closer to my living room than the bathroom is, plus walking to it involves less twisting and turning around obstacles. So after a few drinks I just take a leak in the sink.

not something i did but something i just witnessed this morning...

my neighbor (an asian lady) and myself both live on ground floor apartments about 50 yards from the dumpster in the parkinglot.

i watched her leave her apartment to take out the trash. she put the small sac of trash on the hood of her car and drove about 100 feet or so, not quite to the dumpster. she stopped the car, got out, retrieved the sac of trash, threw it about 50 feet into the dumpster, got back in her car, parked back in her spot and returned to her apartment...

i posted this before i read the above post, btw...

I once. Never mind, it's a long story.....

pissed in a bottle because i was too lazy to go to the toilet....

Caved a notch in the end of a broom handle so that I could turn the air conditioner on and off without sitting up

once i lost the remote control for the tv so i got two big sticks and taped them together and just poked at the tv controls

These are all genius. I've never really done anything lazy though.

Nevermind, I just thought of something. Once I was in bed and my alarm went off (across the room) so I grabbed my stereo remote and cranked it loud enough to drown out the alarm and went back to sleep. Heh.

I lost my TV remote and consequently stopped watching T.V. until I found it (about 2 weeks later).

slept for 15 hours

i've not checked this thread since the last time i posted in it

I've slept all day before then I got up at like nine PM, ate, then went back to bed untill noon the next day. I had no reason to be awake. I seriously slept the whole time too, no t.v., p.c... anything.