grayman

I once called my house from my car that was parked at the curb in front of my house to get someone to bring me my car keys, which I had forgotten. They did.
Can anyone beat this, or can I proclaim myself the laziest person ever?

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That's right - I'm a guy in a suit eating a Blizzard. F U.

aus5tin

just turn me over and pull out my wallt to see a picture of the laziest thing I've ever done...

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You cannot trick a bear... he knows a meal when he sees one.

Reese

My dad raised the laziest kids in the world. At least that's what he says. Have you ever seen that Snickers commercial where the guy is yelling for help and a little girl passing by on the sidewalk hears him and runs into the house to help, and he asks for the TV remote sitting 5 foot away from him? I've done that.

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“It is better to be rich and healthy than poor and sick” - Dave Barry

cheerios

I once watched 2 men throw themselves to the ground because they were too lazy to get up and get a beer out of the fridge. they "fell over" next to the fridge, pulled it open, grabbed a few beers, passed em over to the buddy on the couch, and then got pulled back up. much laughing ensued.

juanvaldes

I threw myself off the couch so I didn't have to get up to get another beer out of the mini-fridge next to the TV, then had my roommate pull me back up onto the couch.

Got my beer and didn't lift a muscle.

cheerios

AND WE HAVE THE CONFESSION!

Sleepyjack

well the laziest thing i've ever done is nothing. I thought that was the idea. You have to appreciate that theres physically lazy and mentally lazy. For example its quite clever how juanvaldes managed to get that beer, but was quite physcially lazy. I try not to be lazy though....

-Anders

I got my laptop working last night so i brought it to bed and didnt get up till 2 PM because i had no need to, as i could do allmost everything from it.

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Signature 101

Meridae'n

It once trained my little toe to move on its own so i wouldn't have to keep sitting up to either: a) pick up the remote, or b) Change the channel with my finger...

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What's easier to believe: that a guy was born without sex in the manner of several Greek demigods and grew up to be able to transmute liquids and alter his body density yet couldn't escape government execution, or that three freemasons in a vehicle made with aluminum foil in an era before digital technology escaped our atmosphere, landing on the moon, broadcasted from there, and then flew back without burning up?

MrFlux

I once ate a whole apple (I'm talking every last little bit here) just so I didn't have to get up and put the core in the bin or throw it out the open window.

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flux (n.)
Medicine. The discharge of large quantities of fluid material from the body, especially the discharge of watery feces from the intestines.

Dragonlich

Absolutely nothing...

tikki

I sat on #tfp for most of yesterday. that was pretty lazy of me.

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Take notice. Take interest. Take me with you.

Cynthetiq

_

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I don't care if you are black, white, purple, green, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, hippie, cop, bum, admin, user, English, Irish, French, Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, indian, cowboy, tall, short, fat, skinny, emo, punk, mod, rocker, straight, gay, lesbian, jock, nerd, geek, Democrat, Republican, Libertarian, Independent, driver, pedestrian, or bicyclist, either you're an asshole or you're not.

gov135

When I used to skip class.

Cause in that example, you were paying lots of money to go - and if you didn't - whatever lazy thing you were doing instead cost dollars.

cchris

.

No,seriously

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There's a fine line between participation and mockery

Nisses

I once used my cellphone to call over the waiter, since I would have had to put too much effort in yelling so he'd hear me

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Moderation should be moderately moderated.

Mael

i used to do that all the time too. i'd yell for my little brother and then when he'd get there i'd be like, can you turn the volume up? or close my door, change the channel, turn off my light, etc. but i don't think i was really being lazy, i was just being an ass. no wonder he hated me until i moved out.

dci

ok, i did this this morning, i was too lazy to reach over to the desktop (4 feet away from my bed), so i took my laptop, which was sitting at the dresser at the top of my bed to remote connect to my desktop.

dorky, but lazy.

clavus

LOL!

Cynthetiq wins!!!!!

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Ass, gas or grass. Nobody rides for free.

Gortexfogg

I've actually not eaten for a whole day because I was too lazy to fix anything worth while...

World's King

My Life.

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heavy is the head that wears the crown

cub4life78

Drank too much and then instead of getting up and going to the bathroom, I just pissed myself...Hey, you asked...

mrquackers

Called my wife's cell phone and asked her to come downstairs when she was just out of vocal range at the top of the stairs.

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"If you're walking on thin ice, you may as well go ahead and dance."

YourNeverThere

BAHAHAHAHAHA you win by far, thats a great story, ive done the same but with vomit. that was gross

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The Above post is a direct quote from Shakespeare

Soggybagel

So many situations where my extreme lazy ways start kicking in. For example when there is a light that is on and I want it off I start grabbing anything near me and throwing it at the lightswitch as opposed to moving up. That goes the same for getting things.

For example the tv remote was on the ground in front of me and me having a towel next to me throw the towel on top fo the remote and drag it towards me as opposed to getting up.

spectre

I just bought a wireless keyboard and mouse so I can surf the tfp from bed while watching tv.

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"Fuck these chains
No goddamn slave
I will be different" ~ Machine Head

crow_daw

Mine just now happened. I was chatting with a friend on MSN Messenger, and I had my right hand on the mouse, and my left hand on my television remote, and my friend said "brb". So instead of moving either hand to the keyboard to type the damn letter K, I swear I highlighted and dragged the letter K from my sign on name to the conversation box and clicked Send. Thats pretty bad.

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"We each have a star, all we have to do is find it. Once you do, everyone who sees it will be blinded." - Earl Simmons

stickyrice

It wasn't me but it was my brother

He yelled my name from his room upstairs and once I got up there he asked if I could turn off the light for him. Lazy ass.

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Can't think of anything to say....

tikki

i bought an Airport base station for that. Nothing like sitting in bed on the internet.

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Take notice. Take interest. Take me with you.

Batman976

I've skipped meals because I was too lazy to walk less than a block to McDonald's.

...and this doesn't exactly count as lazy, but I've gotten up off the couch to grab a remote control that was sitting on top of the entertainment stand, rather than just pushing the button on the tv while I was there. Of course with our short attentions spans and channel surfing, that probably isn't too uncommon anymore.

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The following statement is true.
The preceding statement was false.

MSD

I have the regular remote for the TV on the couch, and a universal for that TV on the chair 6 feet away. Once I find some batteries, I'll have a third for the other chair

Schwan

Not only was this lazy, it was damn stupid. i was to lazy to check the oil in my engine for something like a few month. Every day I'd come back home, get out of the car, look at it, and say "naaaaah". I almost killed the engine and it cost me a pretty penny to get it fixed.

Mongolguy

Made the bed while I was in it. Or had three kids just in case I lose the remote.

Fake Alias

Sat on the computer for 36 hours?

The_Dude

just sit at home and do nothing. maybe watch tv, pc, sleep, food, bathroom.

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"Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity." - Darrel K Royal

mirevolver

I'm not sure if this is really lazy, but one time I wanted to turn the sterio on. So I got off the couch, walked over to the sterio, grabbed the remote on top of it and walked back to the couch. Thn I sat down again and turned the sterio on.

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Aside from my great plans to become the future dictator of the moon, I have little interest in political discussions.

oblar

mine is similar to juan's... which is brilliant, by the way

I wanted across the room.. so I grabbed a friend of mine and told them to walk.. they drug me from the couch and across the room.. I can't remember what I retrieved.. .but then I realized my new problem.. I was now around 20 feet from the couch... I waited for them to walk back by and hitched another ride..

reminded me of those fish that ride on sharks

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"All that we can do is just survive.
.All that we can do to help ourselves is stay alive." - Rush

OROIT

i once called my girlfriend on her mobile phone as she was sitting in my car about 15 metres away and asked her to bring me some documents that were in the glovebox.
but she topped my effort by driving the car over to me and passing them to me from the window.

bigC

i wanted to masturbate but i was so lazy i couldn't find the energy to do anyrhing.

Mael

hey, you should join the partnership for a wank free TFP. unless you're too lazy.