Are you downsizing your Holidays? - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Cynthetiq · 11-30-2008, 04:08 PM

Quote:

View: The Holidays Downsized: No Job and Fewer Gifts
Source: Nytimes
posted with the TFP thread generator

The Holidays Downsized: No Job and Fewer Gifts
November 30, 2008
The Holidays Downsized
No Job and Fewer Gifts
By JAN HOFFMAN
SUSAN McCABE liked to go all out for Christmas. Presents for friends and 17 relatives: high-end cameras for adults, Nintendo Wii for the children. On Christmas Eve, she proudly treated the immediate family to dinner at romantic white tablecloth restaurants in Manhattan. Sticker shock? Ms. McCabe, who sold eco-friendly technology, wouldn’t blink twice.

But in September, the start-up company she worked for went belly up.

A restaurant dinner? All those presents?

“Out of the question,” said Ms. McCabe, who is scrambling to make the rent on her Manhattan apartment. “And that really bothers me.”

In solidarity, Ms. McCabe’s sister, Robin, a lawyer, suggested a familywide ban on gifts for the adults. Then, to strike a tone more seemly for the times and her little sister’s circumstances, Robin reshaped her annual Brooklyn Heights holiday party: the sparkly, dressy affair will be a potluck gathering with a charitable component. It will feature clothing from Goods of Conscience, a new line sewn by Bronx seamstresses using fabric woven by Guatemalan women, who share in the profit.

Many people have a narrative about their holiday rituals: the worship, the setting, the food, the gifts, the personae, the drama. But this year, the economy is rudely tearing apart those yellowed scripts.

For millions, this is the first time they are compelled to scale back and reframe their holiday traditions.

Many must do so out of unaccustomed need and shame, some out of prudent apprehension. Others, like Robin McCabe, are retooling their annual blowouts in deference to those harder hit. The negotiations can be painful. At what cost preserving holiday magic for the children? The conversations are awkward not only for those who have lost their jobs but also for friends and relatives as they trip on that fine line between sensitive and patronizing.

But Hanukkah, Christmas, Kwanzaa and New Year’s all honor light in a dark season. Perhaps that is why people around the country, in describing how they are adjusting celebrations this year, speak of finding the upbeat in the downbeat — at least until the last scrap of wrapping paper is tossed.

Throughout middle-class Delaware County in suburban Columbus, Ohio, members of Liberty Presbyterian Church who once donated generously at Christmas now find themselves in the devastating position of having to receive, said Rev. Rebecca Hart, a pastor at the church. It was no accident that the Christmas recollections submitted for this year’s Advent calendar almost all speak to simpler, less extravagant times: The shoebox from home for a lonely sailor, filled with chocolates, a music cassette and a miniature Nativity scene; a father’s homemade carving of outdoor, life-size carolers; the year a defiant 10-year-old daughter refused the role of Mary in the Sunday School pageant, preferring Gabriel instead. (Bigger speaking part.)

“If you say, ‘We can’t afford to do the big Christmas this year,’ ” Ms. Hart said, “that makes you feel like you failed. But if you say you’re returning to your roots, to the Christmas of your grandparents, that’s powerful, that’s positive. That’s face-saving.”

Certainly many are recasting these pared-down celebrations as a return to the true meaning of the holidays. And although railing about commercialism has been a fine American tradition since at least 1965, when Charlie Brown first rescued that flimsy little evergreen, this is the year that hand- wringing and reality may finally meet.

Telling others that gifts, of necessity, will be modest is a ticklish business. Ellen Wachtel, a family therapist in Manhattan, said one-upmanship around presents is often frontloaded with unspoken tension, but the economy now gives cover to a blunt conversation. “You can say, ‘Please don’t give my kid such an elaborate gift because I can’t reciprocate.’ ”

Many of the newly affected choose to maintain their game faces by saying that simpler is not necessarily better. Just temporary.

In past years, the Christmases of Carl Sartori, a marketing and advertising manager from Bloomfield, N.J., had been joyously over-the-top celebrations. On Christmas morning, hordes would descend on his home to open presents. Mr. Sartori himself bought gifts for nearly 30 children.

But in October, Mr. Sartori was laid off.

The Thanksgiving dinner that Mr. Sartori hosts was trimmed back. The family’s supermarket savings card yielded a free turkey and ham. Relatives were asked to bring side dishes.

On Christmas morning, the horde of in-laws, as usual, will arrive for the great unwrapping. But only a scant few boxes in the pile will be from Mr. Sartori.

For now, Mr. Sartori, who will still appear at his daughter’s school and charity events as Santa’s rep in New Jersey, presents himself as an upbeat guy. This year is just a stumble, he says. His inability to buy gifts for children will not spoil his holiday. Wretched excess will make a comeback, he promised: “I’ll double up next year.”

Many others interviewed thought that the changes they were making this year were not detours, but new roads. Jean Craciun, who owns a market research firm in Anchorage, did well this year, but her partner’s Body Shop franchise faltered. Their family of four could not afford to fly to Minnesota to spend Thanksgiving with her partner’s extended clan, where adults typically pick names out of a hat for Christmas gift exchanges.

“Thanksgiving is becoming more about what we’re thankful for and what we can give,” said Ms. Craciun, who planned to stay in Alaska and volunteer with their young children at community programs.

They will send presents to nieces and nephews in Cleveland, whose parents are struggling. Adult-to-adult gifts won’t happen. “Once there’s a family member who can’t afford it, the tradition of the big family gift exchange has to go away,” she said. “The conversation has to be, ‘Let’s chip in together to pay attention to family members who are hardest hit and make sure the kids get gifts.’ ”

Ah, the children. Much of these holiday-related anxieties spring from fears that this special time will be blackened with the coal of gift deprivation. Daniel Cook, who teaches childhood studies at Rutgers, said: “In the last 20 years, not having an overabundant Christmas somehow became a sign of bad parenting.”

Most parents would prefer to sacrifice their own niceties, he said, to preserve the holidays as childhood’s signature magical sphere. But the children can handle a reduced holiday, psychologists say. Evan Imber-Black, a therapist in New York who writes about family rituals, said, “You can give children a sense of plentifulness in a different way than gifts under the tree.”

By giving a daughter earrings that her own mother gave her at that age, a mother reinforces family connections, Dr. Imber-Black said. By making a gift list and paring it down to one choice, children learn decision-making.

And even for the recently empty-handed, there can be positives.

The big Hanukkah parties always used to be at Randi Simko’s home in Farmington Hills, Mich., a comfortable suburb of Detroit: hundreds of latkes, dreidel hot pads, the house decked with blue-and-white dreidel lights, Star of David pasta and, of course, gifts all eight nights for the three children.

That was before the divorce and long before the house Ms. Simko bought from her ex-husband was lost to foreclosure. Two Hanukkahs ago, she had to turn to her congregation’s “No Temple Family Without Hanukkah” program.

“It was horrid for me,” recalled Ms. Simko, who now works three jobs. “I was embarrassed.” Needy members of Temple Israel in West Bloomfield, Mich., submit a minimal gift list for their children, purchased anonymously by other congregants. “I didn’t tell my kids where it came from,” Ms. Simko said.

But like so many whose holiday traditions have been shredded recently, Ms. Simko, who has again applied to the program, realigned her attitude. “I had to stop pretending,” she said. “Last year I told the kids: I want them to understand there are good people out there doing good things.”

Many families will cling to their holiday traditions, because of, and in spite of, the year’s upheavals. Certainly, a Sioux Falls, S.D., grandmother has had her share: she and her husband lost weeks of wages, after both had strokes. Their towering medical bills perch atop a mountain range of debt. No Christmas gifts for the five grandchildren.

“They’re good kids,” said the woman, who did not want to be identified because she is mortified. “It hurts.”

But she will again make Grandma’s oyster stew. She will unpack all 40 of her Santas and put them on tabletops around the house.

And this year she expects a new ritual that she hopes will last. “At least we won’t be going into debt for Christmas,” she said. Having signed up for InCharge, a nonprofit debt management program, she no longer uses a credit card.

“This year when we see a plain white envelope in the mail box, it won’t be a late bill,” she said. “Maybe it will just be a late Christmas card.”

Are you planning on downsizing your spending this holiday season?

I gave up Christmas many years ago. I don't give gifts to friends or family on a regular basis, with the exception of children who cannot understand differently.

The only difference we've done is that we're not travelling this season. We didn't go away for Thanksgiving which is our normal travelling week overseas. Christmas we'll be in NYC as well, another change for us.

ngdawg · 11-30-2008, 04:26 PM

We downsized many years ago. Our gift list had grown to over 30 and when the kids came, that was impossible, so we no longer buy for our siblings and friends, only our parents and nieces and nephews.
I downsized further about two years ago by giving what I do-photographs or art. The parents got portraits of our kids; I did portraits for two of our nephews and their families, then gave them prints.
I design my own cards every year and print them at home.
The gift that got the best reaction was when I was out of work-I couldn't afford anything so I made cookies, got tins at the dollar store then filled them with the cookies and some random candy bars and gave those to the nephews and niece. You'd think they'd gotten a fistful of cash!
From the very first Christmas, my kids have gotten no more than three gifts and a few "practical" stocking stuffers. Some called us cheapskates over that, but my kids have never minded it and what they got was special(like Daniel's piano last year). I have a real issue with kids getting so many things that nothing matters except how many gifts they got.

PonyPotato · 11-30-2008, 04:27 PM

My gift-giving was downsized when I got out of high school. Those acquaintances I used to get small gifts or cards for weren't a part of my life anymore, so I downsized to gifting just to my best friend, whoever I was dating at the time (if anyone) and my family.

This year, my gift-giving circle is increased by nearly double. The ladies at the barn here all give gifts to each other, so I'm trying to do that as well. I was planning charcoal drawings for everyone (to save some cash since I don't have a lot) but I've only gotten model photos for two drawings so far and I doubt I'm going to get the others. I suppose I can either go for other gifts for the ones without drawings or just give them a gift certificate for a drawing when they find a photo they like? Not sure if that's appropriate. Other than them, my family, my best friend, and Crompsin will be receiving gifts. I will be sending my own cards to my family overseas since I no longer live at home and cannot sign the cards my mother sends to them.

The celebratory aspect of Christmas is going to be essentially non-existent for me this year. I don't get to go home to Ohio (as dysfunctional as my family is, the place IS home and I miss it dearly), instead I will be having laser eye surgery on the 19th and will probably be blind until right before Christmas. Crompsin's family may come over again, but I don't know that I'll be ready to cook for them and will probably just feel sorry for myself for being unable to go home and unable to see my best friend and my parents.

SabrinaFair · 11-30-2008, 04:47 PM

Like others have said, I've been on the downsizing bandwagon for a couple of years now. When I started law school, I decided to limit my gift-buying to immediate family (parents and brother). I used to go all out in college--expensive gifts for various friends, extended family, and whatnot, plus hours of baking to fill countless tins and boxes of Christmas goodies. And of course, decorating. I've downsized in all aspects--I buy fewer gifts, make fewer goodies, and don't even put up a tree.

Some of my considerations are financial. I'm in law school, and have to make do with limited financial resources. But there are also lifestyle considerations....I like Christmas well enough, but the things that make Christmas special aren't really in my day-to-day life right now. I'm single, I live alone, and I don't have any children in my life save a couple of distant cousins. I'm hardly a grinch, but Christmas doesn't mean that much to me right now. I enjoy spending time with my immediate family--there are only a few times a year we're all together, since my brother lives in St. Louis. I have fun at holiday parties. I put up a few decorations. But going "all out" for the holidays....not for me. Not right now.

Ayashe · 11-30-2008, 05:12 PM

I will definitely be downsizing as I have been over the past few years. Last year I made gift baskets of homemade soap. This year I will be making jars of homemade do-it-yourself mixes of soups, cookies etc. along with some homemade mustards and sauces. My list has also been whittled down dramatically.

noodle · 11-30-2008, 05:29 PM

My family shifted Christmas to January a few years ago since my sister and I could not get both Thanksgiving and Christmas off work and the former was always more important to us as an extended family. Around the time Fake Christmas evolved (and, yes, our family is That White Trash Family with The Lights Still Up), we downsized. Now we draw names and keep it under $30 to avoid a ton of little crappy gifts and to be able to choose one nice thing for someone. It's always something we need, not want. Like the iron and the towel set I got.
I don't do gifts with friends.
I don't do holiday cards. Not for years now.
I can't even remember thank you notes, much less Christmas/holiday cards.
Plus, I hate forcing those things on people and can't stand the thought of how many cards end up in the landfills or as firehazards in Great Aunt Ozmerelda's attic.
My SO and I don't do gifts either.
Rarely for any occasion.
We prefer to purchase something we need for the house together if we need something, and consider that as a gift to each other.
And we do a "nice" dinner for birthdays, anniversaries, holidays.
We get to enjoy each other's company without anyone else and spend quality time together.
Instead of some object I may or may not have wanted/needed/thought I'd use.
Cookies and the like got really expensive last year.
So I was very glad when the office party turned into true White Elephant style.
I've got a bottle of real Fountain of Youth water for the old farts.

ratbastid · 11-30-2008, 05:37 PM

This year we're doing Piggy Bank Christmas.

We dumped the piggy bank and my other cup of change and rolled it up, and it came to about $125. That's what we're spending on Christmas.

genuinegirly · 11-30-2008, 06:36 PM

Christmas card list has increased while the gift circle has decreased. Rather than purchasing a combined two gifts for every mutual friend between my husband and I, we can get each person one nicer gift. We aren't in any position to host holiday parties, so there goes that expense. Our recent marriage has more impact on our situation this holiday season than the current economic situation.

Tully Mars · 11-30-2008, 06:44 PM

I quit doing commercial Christmas about 15 years ago. My daughter was still young and wouldn't understand so she still got presents. Everyone else got a card for a few more years and then nada, I just stopped completely. I still visit friends and family, call them etc... just don't go out and buy stuff. Ask others not to buy me anything as well and let everyone know my thoughts on what the season's become. Honestly most of it's crap no one wants anyway. For a while I used to give what I would have spent to a couple local charities. Then about 8-10 years ago I started halving that at Christmas then sending the other half in June. I saw a news story that said everyone tends to give during Nov. and Dec. and food programs etc... experience short falls at mid year. Last year I gave some to a couple charities down here and sent a check to one back in the states. I'll be doing the same this year, just in a lesser amount.

Vigilante · 11-30-2008, 07:14 PM

I guess if I was single I might not do much with christmas. The holiday bustle generally annoys me as it does many men. Being married though, we do christmas as usual every year, it's just the amount of cash we spend that varies. My sister-in-law is kind of out of the loop because of her own doing, so we generally share presents with my wife's parents and they share with us. It's fun; we hang out, laugh and do whatever families do on the holidays.

Willravel · 11-30-2008, 08:23 PM

My gifts get bigger and more elaborate every year. It's a blast. I won't downsize Christmas until I'm dead.

Vigilante · 11-30-2008, 08:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Willravel

My gifts get bigger and more elaborate every year. It's a blast. I won't downsize Christmas until I'm dead.

Amen brother

We've had to budget, but we don't change who gets presents.

Randerolf · 11-30-2008, 08:49 PM

No Christmas Gifts This Year

Dear TFP,
This year, the economy has made it tough, so instead of doing our usual gift exchange and Roman orgy, let's do something more meaningful together like:

Play in the park
Volunteer at the soup kitchen

Cheers,
Randerolf

I like this idea of canceling gift giving and simply enjoy the holidays -- especially with money crunch that so many people facing. My best friend and I don't buy each other anything for our birthday; it's very casual and has nothing to do with money. We simply find it more enjoyable that way.

Since I'm overseas, Christmas will be less complicated (oddly enough) this year, and most people I know don't want anything from me since I'm so far away.

snowy · 11-30-2008, 09:35 PM

We give cookie plates. Everyone loves them, I enjoy baking them, and they're not spendy. I can please a lot of people for very little money, and my mother is always touched that all of the cookies are ones I learned from her.

genuinegirly · 11-30-2008, 10:08 PM

What a great family tradition, Snowy. Sounds like considerably less hassle.

Willravel · 12-01-2008, 11:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by luciferase75

Amen brother

I gave Ch'i motorcycle lessons last year. My mom got one of those lcd picture frames with tons and tons of scanned pictures of our family. A few years back I gave my dad Babylon 5 (his favorite show) seasons 1-4 on DVD. Giving personal and meaningful (and occasionally extravagant) gifts make the season what it is for me. It's about giving.

If you're not able to get extravagant gifts this year, just get something meaningful. Not everyone's been hit by the economic problems, though. I figure it's important for me to continue to give as much as I can now just in case these things do end up hitting me later.

ShaniFaye · 12-01-2008, 11:55 AM

Dave and I have been downsized since we met. We only buy for my daughter, we dont even exchange with each other. We prefer to take a trip to the mountains for new years to hide away for a few days, thats our gift.

mrklixx · 12-01-2008, 01:01 PM

Can't downsize from zero.

LordEden · 12-01-2008, 01:04 PM

My family is downsizing, no one is buying gifts for anyone other than parents/SO/Kids. I'm buying my usual array of gifts for the parents and a bottle of Jack Daniel's Single Barrel for my best friend that we will open and drink that night. I'm not changing my own gift buying but every else is.

Strange Famous · 12-01-2008, 01:23 PM

Most definitely, set myself a budget of 10 sheets or under for each present - and stuck to it in all cases other than my girl (but I saved enough on other people who got something for 8 or whatever to spend 20 sheets on her and stay under budget overall)

World's King · 12-01-2008, 02:57 PM

My mother's salary doubled in the last three months so Christmas is gonna be pretty big this year.

Not that it matters. It's the thought that counts...

(You have any idea how hard it was for me to type that?)

stevie667 · 12-01-2008, 03:16 PM

We've downsized massivly, i'll only be getting 1 ferrari this year.

ItWasMe · 12-01-2008, 03:47 PM

We downsized years ago. The bulk of what we spend is toys for our own children. We put the names of our siblings, and sometimes parents, into a hat and draw. We are a Mystery Santa for the one we draw.

For friends, or for siblings that we don't draw, we can do a variety of things. Bake cookies, banana bread, etc. Print family pictures from our computer, and frame them as gifts (frames come from dollar store or other store, depending on budget). We can include a note about that memory. This year I will probably take most of my pictures on my pc and burn them onto cd's to give along with the printed pictures. Eighteen years ago, we received a few framed photos from a relative ... childhood photos that we hadn't seen in years. That was special to us. One year an older relative went through her jewelry box and gave many old pieces, some "family heirlooms" as Christmas gifts. We have purchased sweatshirts on sale and raided my craft supplies for fabric paint, lace, pearl strings. Homemade play-dough is usually well received by the youngest crowd, especially since I can scent it with my soap/lotion scented oils. Homemade soap and lotions and lip balms usually go to my coworkers, who spend the rest of the year asking me if I have made more recently. Many years ago, I spent a year crocheting afghans with whatever yarn scraps I could get my hands on. And I gave away probably ten of them come Christmas. I still see most of those afghans on sofas, beds, and people when I visit.

stonefaceddog · 12-01-2008, 05:27 PM

We're downsizing this year. It has more to do with life events than the economy. An elderly uncle who was the social glue for the family get togethers passed away recently and my father is recovering from a life threatening stroke so the gift giving thing just seems out of place this year. Instead, everyone in the family agreed to just spend some time together as a family and enjoy that aspect of the holidays without the distractions of shopping and gifts. We'll be fixing some nice meals and just hang ing out.

dc_dux · 12-02-2008, 02:23 PM

I will be continuing a tradition of exchanging names with a group of friends and buying a book that the person would not buy for himself/herself.

One lucky friend might be getting:

Joe The Plumber - Fighting for the American Dream (Hardcover) - $24.95 : PearlGate Bookstore, Things Forgotten

Tully Mars · 12-02-2008, 02:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dc_dux

I will be continuing a tradition of exchanging names with a group of friends and buying a book that the person would not buy for himself/herself.

One lucky friend might be getting:

Joe The Plumber - Fighting for the American Dream (Hardcover) - $24.95 : PearlGate Bookstore, Things Forgotten

*makes mental note to never give DC my address*

11-30-2008, 04:26 PM	#2 (permalink)
ngdawg peekaboo Location: on the back, bitch	We downsized many years ago. Our gift list had grown to over 30 and when the kids came, that was impossible, so we no longer buy for our siblings and friends, only our parents and nieces and nephews. I downsized further about two years ago by giving what I do-photographs or art. The parents got portraits of our kids; I did portraits for two of our nephews and their families, then gave them prints. I design my own cards every year and print them at home. The gift that got the best reaction was when I was out of work-I couldn't afford anything so I made cookies, got tins at the dollar store then filled them with the cookies and some random candy bars and gave those to the nephews and niece. You'd think they'd gotten a fistful of cash! From the very first Christmas, my kids have gotten no more than three gifts and a few "practical" stocking stuffers. Some called us cheapskates over that, but my kids have never minded it and what they got was special(like Daniel's piano last year). I have a real issue with kids getting so many things that nothing matters except how many gifts they got. __________________ Don't blame me. I didn't vote for either of'em.

11-30-2008, 04:27 PM	#3 (permalink)
PonyPotato Soaring Location: Ohio!	My gift-giving was downsized when I got out of high school. Those acquaintances I used to get small gifts or cards for weren't a part of my life anymore, so I downsized to gifting just to my best friend, whoever I was dating at the time (if anyone) and my family. This year, my gift-giving circle is increased by nearly double. The ladies at the barn here all give gifts to each other, so I'm trying to do that as well. I was planning charcoal drawings for everyone (to save some cash since I don't have a lot) but I've only gotten model photos for two drawings so far and I doubt I'm going to get the others. I suppose I can either go for other gifts for the ones without drawings or just give them a gift certificate for a drawing when they find a photo they like? Not sure if that's appropriate. Other than them, my family, my best friend, and Crompsin will be receiving gifts. I will be sending my own cards to my family overseas since I no longer live at home and cannot sign the cards my mother sends to them. The celebratory aspect of Christmas is going to be essentially non-existent for me this year. I don't get to go home to Ohio (as dysfunctional as my family is, the place IS home and I miss it dearly), instead I will be having laser eye surgery on the 19th and will probably be blind until right before Christmas. Crompsin's family may come over again, but I don't know that I'll be ready to cook for them and will probably just feel sorry for myself for being unable to go home and unable to see my best friend and my parents. __________________ "Without passion man is a mere latent force and possibility, like the flint which awaits the shock of the iron before it can give forth its spark." — Henri-Frédéric Amiel

11-30-2008, 04:47 PM	#4 (permalink)
SabrinaFair Junkie Location: Louisville, KY	Like others have said, I've been on the downsizing bandwagon for a couple of years now. When I started law school, I decided to limit my gift-buying to immediate family (parents and brother). I used to go all out in college--expensive gifts for various friends, extended family, and whatnot, plus hours of baking to fill countless tins and boxes of Christmas goodies. And of course, decorating. I've downsized in all aspects--I buy fewer gifts, make fewer goodies, and don't even put up a tree. Some of my considerations are financial. I'm in law school, and have to make do with limited financial resources. But there are also lifestyle considerations....I like Christmas well enough, but the things that make Christmas special aren't really in my day-to-day life right now. I'm single, I live alone, and I don't have any children in my life save a couple of distant cousins. I'm hardly a grinch, but Christmas doesn't mean that much to me right now. I enjoy spending time with my immediate family--there are only a few times a year we're all together, since my brother lives in St. Louis. I have fun at holiday parties. I put up a few decorations. But going "all out" for the holidays....not for me. Not right now. __________________ "With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy." -Desiderata

11-30-2008, 05:12 PM	#5 (permalink)
Ayashe Psycho	I will definitely be downsizing as I have been over the past few years. Last year I made gift baskets of homemade soap. This year I will be making jars of homemade do-it-yourself mixes of soups, cookies etc. along with some homemade mustards and sauces. My list has also been whittled down dramatically. __________________ I am only a little spoon in a huge world of soup.

11-30-2008, 06:36 PM	#8 (permalink)
genuinegirly Eat your vegetables Super Moderator Location: Arabidopsis-ville	Christmas card list has increased while the gift circle has decreased. Rather than purchasing a combined two gifts for every mutual friend between my husband and I, we can get each person one nicer gift. We aren't in any position to host holiday parties, so there goes that expense. Our recent marriage has more impact on our situation this holiday season than the current economic situation. __________________ "Sometimes I have to remember that things are brought to me for a reason, either for my own lessons or for the benefit of others." Cynthetiq "violence is no more or less real than non-violence." roachboy

11-30-2008, 05:37 PM	#7 (permalink)
ratbastid Darth Papa Location: Yonder	This year we're doing Piggy Bank Christmas. We dumped the piggy bank and my other cup of change and rolled it up, and it came to about $125. That's what we're spending on Christmas.

11-30-2008, 06:44 PM	#9 (permalink)
Tully Mars Living in a Warmer Insanity Super Moderator Location: Yucatan, Mexico	I quit doing commercial Christmas about 15 years ago. My daughter was still young and wouldn't understand so she still got presents. Everyone else got a card for a few more years and then nada, I just stopped completely. I still visit friends and family, call them etc... just don't go out and buy stuff. Ask others not to buy me anything as well and let everyone know my thoughts on what the season's become. Honestly most of it's crap no one wants anyway. For a while I used to give what I would have spent to a couple local charities. Then about 8-10 years ago I started halving that at Christmas then sending the other half in June. I saw a news story that said everyone tends to give during Nov. and Dec. and food programs etc... experience short falls at mid year. Last year I gave some to a couple charities down here and sent a check to one back in the states. I'll be doing the same this year, just in a lesser amount. __________________ I used to drink to drown my sorrows, but the damned things have learned how to swim- Frida Kahlo Vice President Starkizzer Fan Club

11-30-2008, 07:14 PM	#10 (permalink)
Vigilante Broken Arrow Location: US	I guess if I was single I might not do much with christmas. The holiday bustle generally annoys me as it does many men. Being married though, we do christmas as usual every year, it's just the amount of cash we spend that varies. My sister-in-law is kind of out of the loop because of her own doing, so we generally share presents with my wife's parents and they share with us. It's fun; we hang out, laugh and do whatever families do on the holidays. __________________ We contend that for a nation to try to tax itself into prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle. -Winston Churchill

11-30-2008, 08:23 PM	#11 (permalink)
Willravel ... a sort of licensed troubleshooter.	My gifts get bigger and more elaborate every year. It's a blast. I won't downsize Christmas until I'm dead.

11-30-2008, 08:49 PM	#13 (permalink)
Randerolf Fireball Location: ~	Holiday in Cambodia No Christmas Gifts This Year Dear TFP, This year, the economy has made it tough, so instead of doing our usual gift exchange and Roman orgy, let's do something more meaningful together like: Play in the park Volunteer at the soup kitchen Cheers, Randerolf I like this idea of canceling gift giving and simply enjoy the holidays -- especially with money crunch that so many people facing. My best friend and I don't buy each other anything for our birthday; it's very casual and has nothing to do with money. We simply find it more enjoyable that way. Since I'm overseas, Christmas will be less complicated (oddly enough) this year, and most people I know don't want anything from me since I'm so far away.

11-30-2008, 09:35 PM	#14 (permalink)
snowy Kick Ass Kunoichi Location: Oregon	We give cookie plates. Everyone loves them, I enjoy baking them, and they're not spendy. I can please a lot of people for very little money, and my mother is always touched that all of the cookies are ones I learned from her. __________________ If I am not better, at least I am different. --Jean-Jacques Rousseau

11-30-2008, 10:08 PM	#15 (permalink)
genuinegirly Eat your vegetables Super Moderator Location: Arabidopsis-ville	What a great family tradition, Snowy. Sounds like considerably less hassle. __________________ "Sometimes I have to remember that things are brought to me for a reason, either for my own lessons or for the benefit of others." Cynthetiq "violence is no more or less real than non-violence." roachboy

12-01-2008, 11:55 AM	#17 (permalink)
ShaniFaye Submit to me, you know you want to Location: Lilburn, Ga	Dave and I have been downsized since we met. We only buy for my daughter, we dont even exchange with each other. We prefer to take a trip to the mountains for new years to hide away for a few days, thats our gift. __________________ *I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!!*

12-01-2008, 01:01 PM	#18 (permalink)
mrklixx President Rick Location: location location	Can't downsize from zero. __________________ This post is content. If you don't like it then you are not content. Or perhaps just incontinent. This is not a link - Do not click here I hate animated avatars.

12-01-2008, 01:23 PM	#20 (permalink)
Strange Famous follower of the child's crusade?	Most definitely, set myself a budget of 10 sheets or under for each present - and stuck to it in all cases other than my girl (but I saved enough on other people who got something for 8 or whatever to spend 20 sheets on her and stay under budget overall) __________________ "Do not tell lies, and do not do what you hate, for all things are plain in the sight of Heaven. For nothing hidden will not become manifest, and nothing covered will remain without being uncovered." The Gospel of Thomas

12-01-2008, 02:57 PM	#21 (permalink)
World's King Here Location: Denver City Denver	My mother's salary doubled in the last three months so Christmas is gonna be pretty big this year. Not that it matters. It's the thought that counts... (You have any idea how hard it was for me to type that?) __________________ heavy is the head that wears the crown

12-01-2008, 03:16 PM	#22 (permalink)
stevie667 Too Awesome for Aardvarks Location: Angloland	We've downsized massivly, i'll only be getting 1 ferrari this year. __________________ Office hours have changed. Please call during office hours for more information.

12-01-2008, 03:47 PM	#23 (permalink)
ItWasMe But You'll Never Prove It. Location: under your bed	We downsized years ago. The bulk of what we spend is toys for our own children. We put the names of our siblings, and sometimes parents, into a hat and draw. We are a Mystery Santa for the one we draw. For friends, or for siblings that we don't draw, we can do a variety of things. Bake cookies, banana bread, etc. Print family pictures from our computer, and frame them as gifts (frames come from dollar store or other store, depending on budget). We can include a note about that memory. This year I will probably take most of my pictures on my pc and burn them onto cd's to give along with the printed pictures. Eighteen years ago, we received a few framed photos from a relative ... childhood photos that we hadn't seen in years. That was special to us. One year an older relative went through her jewelry box and gave many old pieces, some "family heirlooms" as Christmas gifts. We have purchased sweatshirts on sale and raided my craft supplies for fabric paint, lace, pearl strings. Homemade play-dough is usually well received by the youngest crowd, especially since I can scent it with my soap/lotion scented oils. Homemade soap and lotions and lip balms usually go to my coworkers, who spend the rest of the year asking me if I have made more recently. Many years ago, I spent a year crocheting afghans with whatever yarn scraps I could get my hands on. And I gave away probably ten of them come Christmas. I still see most of those afghans on sofas, beds, and people when I visit. __________________ . . . . . . . . . . . . . . "Ok, no more truth-or-dare until somebody returns my underwear" ~ George Lopez I bake cookies just so I can lick the bowl. ~ ItWasMe

12-01-2008, 05:27 PM	#24 (permalink)
stonefaceddog Upright Location: anywhere but here.	We're downsizing this year. It has more to do with life events than the economy. An elderly uncle who was the social glue for the family get togethers passed away recently and my father is recovering from a life threatening stroke so the gift giving thing just seems out of place this year. Instead, everyone in the family agreed to just spend some time together as a family and enjoy that aspect of the holidays without the distractions of shopping and gifts. We'll be fixing some nice meals and just hang ing out.

12-02-2008, 02:23 PM	#25 (permalink)
dc_dux Location: Washington DC	I will be continuing a tradition of exchanging names with a group of friends and buying a book that the person would not buy for himself/herself. One lucky friend might be getting: Joe The Plumber - Fighting for the American Dream (Hardcover) - $24.95 : PearlGate Bookstore, Things Forgotten __________________ "The perfect is the enemy of the good." ~ Voltaire