Grancey

Never try on a pink fluffy bathrobe when wearing a black shirt....


What did you learn today???

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Quiet, mild-mannered souls might just turn out to be roaring lions of two-fisted cool.

RangerJoe

I learned not to go outside wearing red fuzzy tweety pajama pants, a tank top, a pink sweater, glovess, a hat, red flowered socks, and brown crocheted house shoes. Although warm, you end up looking slightly retarded.

jewels

Read the requirements for ID on the SS-5 online before heading out to get your daughter a social security replacement card so she can get her ID/learner's permit.

Does it really make sense that school transcripts qualify as ID but a birth certificate doesn't?

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We are always more anxious to be distinguished for a talent which we do not possess, than to be praised for the fifteen which we do possess.
Mark Twain

dlish

dont speed because your good run will always come to an end with a bright flash

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An injustice anywhere, is an injustice everywhere

I always sign my facebook comments with ()()===========(}. Does that make me gay?
- Filthy

mixedsubstance

I learned that I remembered more than I thought about what we learned in Kinesiology this last week...but it's getting harder...

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Well, isn't that just kick-you-in-the-crotch, spit-on-your-neck fantastic?!?

*Without energy, there would be nothing.*

SabrinaFair

I learned that an unjust enrichment by itself does not create a constructive trust.

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"With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful. Strive to be happy."
-Desiderata

Vigilante

I learned... well, I learned nothing today that I didn't already know.

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We contend that for a nation to try to tax itself into prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle.
-Winston Churchill

hunnychile

Never trust a coworker to tell the "Boss" the truth about any other coworker/manager. Everyone is out to cover their own ass - - no matter what goes down, be it illegal or otherwise.

Just saying...

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"I need compassion, understanding and chocolate." - NJB

The_Jazz

I learned that there are interesting opportunities out there.

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"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety." - B. Franklin
"There ought to be limits to freedom." - George W. Bush
"We have met the enemy and he is us." - Pogo

ObieX

i learned about this:




oh yea.. thats right...

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We Must Dissent.

Meditrina

I learned that when your child yells at you to leave them alone, you should; but stay close by and ready for the hug.

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"Toughness is in the soul and spirit, not in muscles." ~Alex Karras

ryfo

That when the cat is asleep DO NOT disturb her! ( Anyone got any band-aids?)

nomcat

Wait for the pizza to cool before having a bite... molten tomato isn't fun.

Destrox

I learned today that jackasses think I like to race simply because I drive a Civic EX...

He was driving a Porsche, are you kidding me?

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You bore me.... next.

Hain

"Don't wizz on the electric fence!"

"User attempted to skateboard down stairs on laptop," is not a valid cause of "accidental damage" when sending company laptops back to the manufacturer for repair. They do occasionally read them.

clavus

Don't tell your kid's teacher that his behavior problems might be because his mother was killed by clowns last week.

Teacher's don't deal well with that kind of crazy talk.

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Ass, gas or grass. Nobody rides for free.

Amaras

Don't believe the hype. Like, EVER.

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Propaganda is to a democracy what the bludgeon is to a totalitarian state.
-Noam Chomsky
Love is a verb, not a noun.
-My Mom
The function of genius is to furnish cretins with ideas twenty years later.
-Louis Aragon, "La Porte-plume," Traite du style, 1928

Catdaddy33

Always check new clothes for "inspected by" stickers, otherwise you'll wonder why people call you #18.. (today is first real cold day of the season here)

RangerJoe

Don't give your heart away so easily.

BadNick

Don't believe most of what you read.



My lesson also relates to both of the above:

When I was young and had a summer job at a famous high-end women's clothing warehouse, my buddies and I used to put our names and phone numbers and "please call anytime" on those little "inspected by" slips...each of us had our favorite size fantasy. We never got a call back

jewels

When you feel overwhelmed by a task, don't put it off because you can't decide where to start. Pick a random place to start and the rest will eventually fall into place, showing you that it wasn't half as bad as you were making it out to be.

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We are always more anxious to be distinguished for a talent which we do not possess, than to be praised for the fifteen which we do possess.
Mark Twain

lotsofmagnets

it is possible to un-meet a person.

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mother nature made the aeroplane, and the submarine sandwich, with the steady hands and dead eye of a remarkable sculptor.
she shed her mountain turning training wheels, for the convenience of the moving sidewalk, that delivers the magnetic monkey children through the mouth of impossible calendar clock, into the devil's manhole cauldron.
physics of a bicycle, isn't it remarkable?

Leto

quoted, cause this pic is just necessary.

I've been enjoying this brew for several years now.

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You said you didn't give a fuck about hockey
And I never saw someone say that before
You held my hand and we walked home the long way
You were loosening my grip on Bobby Orr

http://dune.wikia.com/wiki/Leto_Atreides_I

Amaras

No matter how hard you try, you cannot run away from your past. As it is a part of you,
you must face it, and learn to live with it.

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Propaganda is to a democracy what the bludgeon is to a totalitarian state.
-Noam Chomsky
Love is a verb, not a noun.
-My Mom
The function of genius is to furnish cretins with ideas twenty years later.
-Louis Aragon, "La Porte-plume," Traite du style, 1928

SSJTWIZTA

Don't wizz into the wind, either.

if you've been really, really sick...make sure its a fart thats coming.

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First they came for the Jews and I did not speak out because I was not a Jew.
Then they came for the communists and I did not speak out because I was not a communist.
Then they came for the trade unionists and I did not speak out because I was not a trade unionist
Then they came for me And there was no one left to speak out for me.
-Pastor Martin Niemoller

stevie667

Don't try to climb a wall wearing a giant inflatable sumo suit and then expect it to stay in one peice.

Also, make sure its your own wall, and not the one at the back of the next door neighbours house.


A service announcment provided by the alcohol for morons appeal.

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Office hours have changed. Please call during office hours for more information.

jewels

Know that what you're looking for is not where you last left it.

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We are always more anxious to be distinguished for a talent which we do not possess, than to be praised for the fifteen which we do possess.
Mark Twain

3GPositive

If using "ready mixed" allways check it really is ready mixed.

I built part of the base for my shed last weekend, got all the bricks neatly laid and the joints dressed... and then discovered a little bag of cement in the bottom of the "ready mixed" mortar bag. Yup, I'd built the wall using just wet sand.

stevie667

These days thats called 'rustic' masonry

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Office hours have changed. Please call during office hours for more information.

Merlocke

since don't piss in the wind was taken, I suppose I'll go with "never pet a burning dog".
Gawd I miss warcraft... (too busy to play)

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-=[ Merlocke ]=-

BadNick

in case you do: Stop, drop and roll

Cervantes

Don't play Peekaboo with a kitten...


My nose be molested yarr...

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- "Philosophy is questions that may never be answered. Religion is answers that may never be questioned.."
- "Religions take everything that your DNA naturally wants to do to survive and pro-create and makes it wrong."
- "There is only one absolute truth and that is that there is only one absolute truth."

Charlatan

Be careful who you sit next to on the bus... you could get barfed on.

(...this didn't happen to me but did to the guy across from me)

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"My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars."
- Old Man Luedecke

Fremen

In lunch-time traffic today, I learned I can grip vinyl with my ass-cheeks pretty good...

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Google

uncle phil

"don't pull the mask off the ol' lone ranger..."

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"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
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"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
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never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.

noodle

don't question the bartender.

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