Bartering Sex for Stuff or Services - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

World's King · 08-30-2008, 01:22 PM

Quote:

While she was studying in Brazil during college, the one thing Stephanie Gerson longed to do before leaving was spend time in the thick of the Amazon rain forest. Unfortunately, she couldn't find a tour that would take her past the forest's edge.
Survey at college finds 27 percent of men and 14 percent of women willing to trade favors or gifts for sex.

Survey at college finds 27 percent of men and 14 percent of women willing to trade favors or gifts for sex.

So, when a college-aged busboy at a resort she was visiting began flirting with her, she asked him if he thought a tourist could survive alone in the jungle.

"He laughed and told me I was nuts," says Gerson, 27, who works part-time in online marketing for a chocolate company in San Francisco.

Then he told her that he'd grown up in the jungle in a nearby indigenous community. That was all Gerson needed to hear. Although she wasn't attracted to the guy, Gerson flirted right back in the hopes that he would be her jungle tour guide. It worked. The busboy wormed his way out of work, and the two headed into the rain forest.

"It was amazing," Gerson says of her adventure in 2000. "We built our homes out of palm leaves, I saw animals I'd never seen before, he taught me the medicinal properties of all the plants, we picked fruit off the trees, we swam with and ate piranhas. And, of course, we had sex ... for almost two weeks."

Body currency system

Gerson never felt sleazy or uncomfortable with her unspoken arrangement with the busboy.

"It was a good barter both ways," she says. "I got to stay in the jungle, and he got to have sex with a cute, young American girl."

Such trades aren't so unusual. Throughout history, humans have used their bodies to get what they want -- from ancient Egyptian ruler Cleopatra, who cemented her power through liaisons with Roman rulers Julius Caesar and Mark Antony, to the man and woman who were arrested at a Fort Wright, Kentucky, motel in late June for allegedly swapping sex for gasoline. Regardless of our motivation, scientists say we're hardwired to use our bodies as a bargaining chip.

A recent study of 475 University of Michigan undergraduates ages 17 to 26 found that 27 percent of the men and 14 percent of the women who weren't in a committed relationship had offered someone favors or gifts -- help prepping for a test, laundry washing, tickets to a college football game -- in exchange for sex. On the flip side, 5 percent of the men surveyed and 9 percent of the women said they'd attempted to trade sex for such freebies.

And although they weren't hard up for resources, the students surveyed "recognized the value of this socioeconomic currency system," says Daniel Kruger, research scientist at the University of Michigan School of Public Health, who published his findings in the April issue of "Evolutionary Psychology."

"It's more about getting what you want than getting what you need," he says. "Unless you think everyone needs a $200 Louis Vuitton bag."

The handyman hookup

But unattached coeds aren't the only ones who barter with their bodies. Some professionals will attest that their skills are, well, sexy.

"Women are turned on just by the simple idea of their guy getting off his ass and doing something for them," says Rocky Fino, author of "Will Cook for Sex: A Guy's Guide to Cooking."

It works both ways, he adds.

"Give it to me first thing in the morning, and I'll play [handyman] all day," says Fino, a 39-year-old father of two and part-time construction worker.

Ben Corbett, a 39-year-old contractor from Boulder, Colorado, credits his tool belt with prompting the barrage of come-ons he fields from female clients -- most of them married -- on a regular basis.

"It starts with the flirting, and it just progresses," says Corbett, who has run a construction and remodeling business for 20 years. "They'll touch my hand, and there's all this physical contact. Or they'll run around in their pajamas."

"Once," he says, "I was painting the hallway right outside a client's bedroom, and she was lying on her bed like a girl at a slumber party with her legs up and her arms crossed and her head resting on them, asking me if I had a girlfriend.

"It's all about the fantasy of being taken by the rough-hewn construction guy," muses Corbett, who, despite the temptation, has avoided getting sexually involved with his clientele for fear of jeopardizing his business.

It's the biology, stupid

Call it crass, sexist or gender stereotyping all you want, but there are thousands of years of biological programming at work here, says Dr. Chris Fariello, director of the Institute for Sex Therapy at the Council for Relationships, a nonprofit relationship-counseling group based in Philadelphia.

Plain and simple, a partner who provides more resources -- wealth, shelter, home repairs -- is seen as more attractive and stands to reap more sexual rewards.

Or, as Fariello puts it, "I don't get anybody in my office who says, 'My husband sits on the couch all day and eats bonbons, and I want to have sex with him all the time.'"

All I have to say is... Where do I sign up.

What do you think? Is this prostitution? Or just being clever.

RangerJoe · 08-30-2008, 01:31 PM

Is this in reference to your future career as a pimp?

I think it actually depends on the situation. I've had guys flat out offer me money for a cam show or a blow job. I refused because that seems sort of sleazy to me. I have, however, used my body and flirtations to convince guys to do things for me. I don't know. Maybe there's not a difference there, but the situations feel different.

World's King · 08-30-2008, 01:37 PM

Future career? I'm a Pimp now baby...

JStrider · 08-30-2008, 01:38 PM

As long as everyone involved is happy I think its totally fine.

RangerJoe · 08-30-2008, 01:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by World's King

Future career? I'm a Pimp now baby...

Suuuuure you are.

(;

World's King · 09-01-2008, 11:43 AM

Reall? No one else has anything to say about this?

Annapolis · 09-01-2008, 12:23 PM

I believe that it happens far more than people would ever admit. In my city there is a famous multi-billionaire married to a woman much younger. The difference between she and Anna Nicole Smith? Now one will be referred to eternally as a gold digger and the other is referred to in the newspaper as a citizen of high character. Both bartered their bodies for money.

mixedmedia · 09-01-2008, 01:45 PM

Maybe I'm just weird, but I really haven't had a problem getting people to help me without offering them sex. Too bad charm has lost its charm.

mrklixx · 09-01-2008, 02:56 PM

How else is Forest supposed to get into a reg'lar school?

Halx · 09-01-2008, 04:59 PM

Sex makes the world go 'round.

It's a simple concept that people have been finding mutually beneficial ways to work out a deal since the beginning of time.

levite · 09-01-2008, 06:05 PM

Sure, it's prostitution by another name. I'm not saying that necessarily to condemn it-- I believe prostitution should be legal. But, like the old joke says, we've established what you are, now we're simply quarrelling about price....

Ayashe · 09-01-2008, 06:08 PM

I will only prostitute myself to my current lover, frankly it would be fun. It seems wrong to me outside of that.

dlish · 09-01-2008, 06:16 PM

exchanging goods and services is just plain old business. simple as that.

mixedmedia · 09-01-2008, 06:25 PM

So the question that arises in that sorry ass Robert Redford-Demi Moore movie is moot.

As long as there is a transaction being made then all is good. Is that a fact?

dlish · 09-01-2008, 06:45 PM

depends on your moral viewpoint MM.

for some its ok. thats fine

for others its not. thats fine too.

what i have a problem with is bribery and sex because it has too many sinister things going on. but showing some cleavage to a police officer whos pulled you over isnt all that bad.

getting something in return for something else is part of fair trade of human nature.its up to the individual to decide i or shef he wants that or not.

if you see something you dont like, theres no obligation to purchase. if theres an offer and an acceptance, then the deal is sealed. why would anyone have a problem with that?

mixedmedia · 09-01-2008, 06:57 PM

If it's up to the individual, then other people in that individual's life have no relevant say.

If it was your wife, for instance, obviously, and she bartered sex for, say, wood flooring that you couldn't afford...it would be okay?

Halx · 09-01-2008, 07:08 PM

You have to decide if its in her wallet to spend in the first place.

Anormalguy · 09-01-2008, 07:18 PM

[QUOTE=mixedmedia;2516699...If it was your wife, for instance, obviously, and she bartered sex for, say, wood flooring that you couldn't afford...it would be okay?[/QUOTE]

Hell no.

mixedmedia · 09-01-2008, 07:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Halx

You have to decide if its in her wallet to spend in the first place.

Who has to decide?

If it's just a simple exchange, what could possibly be the problem?

biznatch · 09-01-2008, 07:32 PM

Heh, I'd like to offer sex for things. But it works better when women offer sex than when men do.

Halx · 09-01-2008, 07:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mixedmedia

Who has to decide?

If it's just a simple exchange, what could possibly be the problem?

Everyone has their own value to sex. You know this. Some will never share it with others that do not love them. Some see it as a way to get to their goal. The couple, in this situation, decides.

mixedmedia · 09-01-2008, 07:57 PM

My point is that most people place a different value on the sex of a person that they love than an anonymous person in a news article. Therefore flippant statements about the appropriateness of such actions on the part of a woman are purely situational and contingent on that woman's place in a man's life. Be it mother, sister, girlfriend or wife. I find it to be a little naive, therefore, for most to assert that it is no big deal.

Halx · 09-01-2008, 08:26 PM

Oh, that was a little feminism that I didn't see coming right at me. My mental scope of the issue always included men as well as women, so I'm not sure I agree with you. Everything in life changes with its proximity to you.

mixedmedia · 09-01-2008, 08:28 PM

I think the OP article made it plain what was at issue.

So tell me straight up, is it okay for your wife to sleep with another man for an item or a service?

Halx · 09-01-2008, 08:32 PM

Not unless we agree it is. The reason why the scope changes is because she's in a relationship with me. If she were single, its entirely up to her.

mixedmedia · 09-01-2008, 08:46 PM

Okay...I'm just wanting to get at whether the dynamic changes once a woman is in a relationship. And I understand that it does.

What I don't understand is what makes it alright when she is not in a relationship. Why we would want to give the idea to anyone that it is alright.

In the main story of the article, I don't get the impression that the trip to the rain forest was a direct exchange...rather the sex was a consequence. I think her story is a reach, an attempt to make an issue out of something more mundane. And, in fact, a patriarchal attempt to alarm people. Which is being used to spur a debate that is quite different from that being posed in the story...I take exception to it.

Halx · 09-01-2008, 08:48 PM

*gives mm a blank stare*

mixedmedia · 09-01-2008, 08:54 PM

y'okay.

dlish · 09-02-2008, 02:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mixedmedia

If it's up to the individual, then other people in that individual's life have no relevant say.

If it was your wife, for instance, obviously, and she bartered sex for, say, wood flooring that you couldn't afford...it would be okay?

of course not. thats why i said it depends on the individuals viewpoint on it.

morals values and sometimes decency have more importance than just money, materialistic things or sex.

its up to the invidual to decide whats more important. if un un-attached person did it, then i have no problem with that.

if someone propositioned she-lish they may end up with a fat lip.

Merlocke · 09-03-2008, 01:11 AM

Why that's covered in the 5 minute management course:

Lesson 1:

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings.
The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.
When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbour.
Before she says a word, Bob says, ‘I’ll give you $800 to drop that towel.’
After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.
When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, ‘Who was that?’
‘It was Bob the next door neighbour,’ she replies.
‘Great,’ the husband says, ‘did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?’

Moral of the story:

If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.

-=-

In terms of the thread, bad trade. But at the end of the day, it's the oldest trade and will continue to be so until it stops being valued as something of worth to the other party.

08-30-2008, 01:37 PM	#3 (permalink)
World's King Here Location: Denver City Denver	Future career? I'm a Pimp now baby... __________________ heavy is the head that wears the crown

08-30-2008, 01:38 PM	#4 (permalink)
JStrider Poo-tee-weet? Location: The Woodlands, TX	As long as everyone involved is happy I think its totally fine. __________________ -=JStrider=- ~Clatto Verata Nicto

09-01-2008, 11:43 AM	#6 (permalink)
World's King Here Location: Denver City Denver	Reall? No one else has anything to say about this? __________________ heavy is the head that wears the crown

09-01-2008, 01:45 PM	#8 (permalink)
mixedmedia has all her shots. Location: Florida	Maybe I'm just weird, but I really haven't had a problem getting people to help me without offering them sex. Too bad charm has lost its charm. __________________ Most people go through life dreading they'll have a traumatic experience. Freaks were born with their trauma. They've already passed their test in life. They're aristocrats. - Diane Arbus PESSIMISM, n. A philosophy forced upon the convictions of the observer by the disheartening prevalence of the optimist with his scarecrow hope and his unsightly smile. - Ambrose Bierce

09-01-2008, 02:56 PM	#9 (permalink)
mrklixx President Rick Location: location location	How else is Forest supposed to get into a reg'lar school? __________________ This post is content. If you don't like it then you are not content. Or perhaps just incontinent. This is not a link - Do not click here I hate animated avatars.

08-30-2008, 01:31 PM	#2 (permalink)
RangerJoe Addict	Is this in reference to your future career as a pimp? I think it actually depends on the situation. I've had guys flat out offer me money for a cam show or a blow job. I refused because that seems sort of sleazy to me. I have, however, used my body and flirtations to convince guys to do things for me. I don't know. Maybe there's not a difference there, but the situations feel different.

09-01-2008, 12:23 PM	#7 (permalink)
Annapolis Crazy	I believe that it happens far more than people would ever admit. In my city there is a famous multi-billionaire married to a woman much younger. The difference between she and Anna Nicole Smith? Now one will be referred to eternally as a gold digger and the other is referred to in the newspaper as a citizen of high character. Both bartered their bodies for money.

09-01-2008, 04:59 PM	#10 (permalink)
Halx Please touch this. Owner/Admin Location: Manhattan	Sex makes the world go 'round. It's a simple concept that people have been finding mutually beneficial ways to work out a deal since the beginning of time. __________________ You have found this post informative. -The Administrator [Don't Feed The Animals]

09-01-2008, 06:05 PM	#11 (permalink)
levite Minion of Joss Location: The Windy City	Sure, it's prostitution by another name. I'm not saying that necessarily to condemn it-- I believe prostitution should be legal. But, like the old joke says, we've established what you are, now we're simply quarrelling about price.... __________________ Dull sublunary lovers love, Whose soul is sense, cannot admit Absence, because it doth remove That thing which elemented it. (From "A Valediction: Forbidding Mourning" by John Donne)

09-01-2008, 06:08 PM	#12 (permalink)
Ayashe Psycho	I will only prostitute myself to my current lover, frankly it would be fun. It seems wrong to me outside of that.

09-01-2008, 06:16 PM	#13 (permalink)
dlish Currently sour but formerly Dlishs Super Moderator Location: Australia/UAE	exchanging goods and services is just plain old business. simple as that. __________________ An injustice anywhere, is an injustice everywhere I always sign my facebook comments with ()()===========(}. Does that make me gay? - Filthy

09-01-2008, 06:25 PM	#14 (permalink)
mixedmedia has all her shots. Location: Florida	So the question that arises in that sorry ass Robert Redford-Demi Moore movie is moot. As long as there is a transaction being made then all is good. Is that a fact? __________________ Most people go through life dreading they'll have a traumatic experience. Freaks were born with their trauma. They've already passed their test in life. They're aristocrats. - Diane Arbus PESSIMISM, n. A philosophy forced upon the convictions of the observer by the disheartening prevalence of the optimist with his scarecrow hope and his unsightly smile. - Ambrose Bierce

09-01-2008, 06:45 PM	#15 (permalink)
dlish Currently sour but formerly Dlishs Super Moderator Location: Australia/UAE	depends on your moral viewpoint MM. for some its ok. thats fine for others its not. thats fine too. what i have a problem with is bribery and sex because it has too many sinister things going on. but showing some cleavage to a police officer whos pulled you over isnt all that bad. getting something in return for something else is part of fair trade of human nature.its up to the individual to decide i or shef he wants that or not. if you see something you dont like, theres no obligation to purchase. if theres an offer and an acceptance, then the deal is sealed. why would anyone have a problem with that? __________________ An injustice anywhere, is an injustice everywhere I always sign my facebook comments with ()()===========(}. Does that make me gay? - Filthy

09-01-2008, 06:57 PM	#16 (permalink)
mixedmedia has all her shots. Location: Florida	If it's up to the individual, then other people in that individual's life have no relevant say. If it was your wife, for instance, obviously, and she bartered sex for, say, wood flooring that you couldn't afford...it would be okay? __________________ Most people go through life dreading they'll have a traumatic experience. Freaks were born with their trauma. They've already passed their test in life. They're aristocrats. - Diane Arbus PESSIMISM, n. A philosophy forced upon the convictions of the observer by the disheartening prevalence of the optimist with his scarecrow hope and his unsightly smile. - Ambrose Bierce

09-01-2008, 07:08 PM	#17 (permalink)
Halx Please touch this. Owner/Admin Location: Manhattan	You have to decide if its in her wallet to spend in the first place. __________________ You have found this post informative. -The Administrator [Don't Feed The Animals]

09-01-2008, 07:18 PM	#18 (permalink)
Anormalguy After School Special Moralist Location: Large City, Texas.	[QUOTE=mixedmedia;2516699...If it was your wife, for instance, obviously, and she bartered sex for, say, wood flooring that you couldn't afford...it would be okay?[/QUOTE] Hell no.

09-01-2008, 07:32 PM	#20 (permalink)
biznatch Junkie Location: France	Heh, I'd like to offer sex for things. But it works better when women offer sex than when men do. __________________ Check it out: The Open Source/Freeware/Gratis Software Thread

09-01-2008, 07:57 PM	#22 (permalink)
mixedmedia has all her shots. Location: Florida	My point is that most people place a different value on the sex of a person that they love than an anonymous person in a news article. Therefore flippant statements about the appropriateness of such actions on the part of a woman are purely situational and contingent on that woman's place in a man's life. Be it mother, sister, girlfriend or wife. I find it to be a little naive, therefore, for most to assert that it is no big deal. __________________ Most people go through life dreading they'll have a traumatic experience. Freaks were born with their trauma. They've already passed their test in life. They're aristocrats. - Diane Arbus PESSIMISM, n. A philosophy forced upon the convictions of the observer by the disheartening prevalence of the optimist with his scarecrow hope and his unsightly smile. - Ambrose Bierce

09-01-2008, 08:26 PM	#23 (permalink)
Halx Please touch this. Owner/Admin Location: Manhattan	Oh, that was a little feminism that I didn't see coming right at me. My mental scope of the issue always included men as well as women, so I'm not sure I agree with you. Everything in life changes with its proximity to you. __________________ You have found this post informative. -The Administrator [Don't Feed The Animals]

09-01-2008, 08:28 PM	#24 (permalink)
mixedmedia has all her shots. Location: Florida	I think the OP article made it plain what was at issue. So tell me straight up, is it okay for your wife to sleep with another man for an item or a service? __________________ Most people go through life dreading they'll have a traumatic experience. Freaks were born with their trauma. They've already passed their test in life. They're aristocrats. - Diane Arbus PESSIMISM, n. A philosophy forced upon the convictions of the observer by the disheartening prevalence of the optimist with his scarecrow hope and his unsightly smile. - Ambrose Bierce

09-01-2008, 08:32 PM	#25 (permalink)
Halx Please touch this. Owner/Admin Location: Manhattan	Not unless we agree it is. The reason why the scope changes is because she's in a relationship with me. If she were single, its entirely up to her. __________________ You have found this post informative. -The Administrator [Don't Feed The Animals]

09-01-2008, 08:46 PM	#26 (permalink)
mixedmedia has all her shots. Location: Florida	Okay...I'm just wanting to get at whether the dynamic changes once a woman is in a relationship. And I understand that it does. What I don't understand is what makes it alright when she is not in a relationship. Why we would want to give the idea to anyone that it is alright. In the main story of the article, I don't get the impression that the trip to the rain forest was a direct exchange...rather the sex was a consequence. I think her story is a reach, an attempt to make an issue out of something more mundane. And, in fact, a patriarchal attempt to alarm people. Which is being used to spur a debate that is quite different from that being posed in the story...I take exception to it. __________________ Most people go through life dreading they'll have a traumatic experience. Freaks were born with their trauma. They've already passed their test in life. They're aristocrats. - Diane Arbus PESSIMISM, n. A philosophy forced upon the convictions of the observer by the disheartening prevalence of the optimist with his scarecrow hope and his unsightly smile. - Ambrose Bierce

09-01-2008, 08:48 PM	#27 (permalink)
Halx Please touch this. Owner/Admin Location: Manhattan	gives mm a blank stare __________________ You have found this post informative. -The Administrator [Don't Feed The Animals]

09-01-2008, 08:54 PM	#28 (permalink)
mixedmedia has all her shots. Location: Florida	y'okay. __________________ Most people go through life dreading they'll have a traumatic experience. Freaks were born with their trauma. They've already passed their test in life. They're aristocrats. - Diane Arbus PESSIMISM, n. A philosophy forced upon the convictions of the observer by the disheartening prevalence of the optimist with his scarecrow hope and his unsightly smile. - Ambrose Bierce

09-03-2008, 01:11 AM	#30 (permalink)
Merlocke Location: Canada	Why that's covered in the 5 minute management course: Lesson 1: A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbour. Before she says a word, Bob says, ‘I’ll give you $800 to drop that towel.’ After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, ‘Who was that?’ ‘It was Bob the next door neighbour,’ she replies. ‘Great,’ the husband says, ‘did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?’ Moral of the story: If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure. -=- In terms of the thread, bad trade. But at the end of the day, it's the oldest trade and will continue to be so until it stops being valued as something of worth to the other party. __________________ -=[ Merlocke ]=-