Sober & Clean thread.

[Anormalguy]

My first thread, using an idea that I borrowed from another forum. I know that this is very personal, & I'm a newbie here, so it won't surprise me if this thread dies quickly. If you'd like to share, cool. If not, that's understandable.

After about 10 years of heavy pot smoking, followed by 20+ years of sucking down booze like a thirsty fish, I quit drinking late last year. No medical condition that I'm aware of, no rehab, & no AA. I can't pat myself on the back because I've been through more failed attempts than I can count.

[Halx]

Congratulations! For people who have never been addicted to things, its hard to sympathize with the physiological and psychological urges one feels.

I'm fighting off an addiction to World of Warcraft. I know that doesn't sound too bad, but.. its bad. My wife still plays it and even wants me to get back into it, but I MUST resist. Its tough 'cause I can imagine myself installing it again and getting wrapped up once more.

[Cynthetiq]

Congrats. I'm on my second year, and will hit my 3rd in several months.

I quit many times, but never everything all at once. There are a few that lurk here and there. They may not post because they want to keep their anonymity. But you may be surprised to find someone sent you a caring PM.

good luck.

[Willravel]

My name is Will and I'm addicted to food. When I was younger, I reached the weight of at least 250 lbs., which was a wake-up call for me. It's been about 6 months since I last binged on food.

Originally Posted by Halx

For people who have never been addicted to things, its hard to sympathize with the physiological and psychological urges one feels.

I like to explain it like this:
"Have you ever eaten a piece of cake, and it was delicious and filling? Did you go back and eat two more pieces right after and then a few more the next morning? No? I don't understand that. It makes absolutely no sense to me not to eat several pieces of cake in one sitting and then finish the cake later. I don't understand people who can just eat a hand-full of chips or that only eat half a piece of pizza. How in the world could you have enough? It's delicious and the feeling is unbelievable.

The fact of the matter is that I'm not wired the same as you, as most people. My brain says "eat it, and eat it all". Consequences aren't even an afterthought."

The only reason I'm healthy now is the continual battle with the impulse to binge. And sometimes I lose that battle, sometimes badly. I know this battle will be with me for the rest of my life and it's a daily exercise for me to accept that.

I won't liken food addiction to alcoholism or addiction to narcotics, but it's an addiction and it's serious.

[Anormalguy]

Will, food addiction is very real, much more than people realize. I recently read Louie Anderson's excellent book Goodbye Jumbo Hello Cruel World, in which he discusses his struggles with food & struggles with himself. It's a follow-up to his book Dear Dad, which explores his childhood with an alcoholic father. Both books are well worth reading.

Cynthetiq, congratulations on your sobriety. It's not easy (how's that for an understatement ?), major recovery mojo to you!

The strange thing is in social settings I was usually a very controlled drinker, but once I got home look out. It's very easy to rationalize excessive drinking when "you're not hurting anyone."

[Cynthetiq]

Originally Posted by Anormalguy

Will, food addiction is very real, much more than people realize. I recently read Louie Anderson's excellent book Goodbye Jumbo Hello Cruel World, in which he discusses his struggles with food & struggles with himself. It's a follow-up to his book Dear Dad, which explores his childhood with an alcoholic father. Both books are well worth reading.

Cynthetiq, congratulations on your sobriety. It's not easy (how's that for an understatement ?), major recovery mojo to you!

The strange thing is in social settings I was usually a very controlled drinker, but once I got home look out. It's very easy to rationalize excessive drinking when "you're not hurting anyone."

true, I did the same for 20 years. but remember you're part of "anyone"...

[RangerJoe]

I've been lucky enough not to have an addiction to anything... well besides smoking. BUT, I have been on the outside looking on on family members with addiction. My dad is an alcoholic. Has been for as long as I remember.

When I was 8, he went into the hospital for surgery on his organs after he pretty much killed them. (Which organ is it? I don't quite remember). On the day of my brother's wedding, we had to go to the hospital to visit my dad. He then went into rehab, got out, and was in AA for eight years. After eight years of total sobriety, he fell back into drinking. Sure, at first it was a drink here, a drink there...

I now don't associate with him. He showed up at Christmas one year and yelled at me because I told my son to tell him no when he tried to get him to drink a beer. He calls random family members up at 3 in the morning, drunk. He's a well known name to the police officers, from being arrested so much for PI's (his license was taken away a long time ago).

I do have to say, though, that growing up with that, I rarely drink. I know that it's healthy to just let lose every once in a while, but that's a rare occasion. I know that alcoholism runs in my blood and I don't want to end up like my father.

I have also learned to have a low tolerance for drinking in guys. A beer when he comes home from work while he's watching the news is okay. 3 beers and half a bottle of whiskey is not. Not to me anyways.

I'll stop ranting.

[World's King]

I'm an alcoholic.


I was sober for almost five months. That's was the longest I went without a drink in ten years.

[Baraka_Guru]

I'm addicted to the Internet. It sounds lame, I know, but it's true. I think it sits in for the various other addictions I could possibly have as coping mechanisms to some things I've experienced in the past.

My father's a (more or less) recovered alcoholic, and my sister is currently on a methadone program. My two brothers have both struggled with alcoholism, but seem to be keeping it under control.

My family has struggled with these on top of cases of depression. We don't like to talk about it much, and I'm pretty much detached from it all now that I live out of town from them.

I should probably have several sessions of cognitive therapy, but I can't afford it. So this would explain my current situation. I think about it occasionally—about how I could be doing so many other rewarding things instead of wasting my time on the Internet. But it's hard to fight my compulsions. I'm sleep deprived and get down on myself when I look at the big picture. I am currently working on a number of things that will hopefully draw me to more rewarding experiences. Learning to play guitar is one of them. I want to write, but I don't have the energy, and I feel my creativity has been too sapped over the years.

It's a struggle. But I'm getting by.

[Willravel]

Originally Posted by RangerJoe

I'll stop ranting.

I find immeasurable worth in the experiences of those who have to deal with people who are suffering from addiction. Often the retelling of that experience can help as motivation to not inflict pain on the people we love (or anyone, for that matter). I can't speak for anyone else, but I'll take any motivation I can get.

[RangerJoe]

Originally Posted by Willravel

I find immeasurable worth in the experiences of those who have to deal with people who are suffering from addiction. Often the retelling of that experience can help as motivation to not inflict pain on the people we love (or anyone, for that matter). I can't speak for anyone else, but I'll take any motivation I can get.

So, I'm a little off today (hence the actual posting (, but are you referring to trying to explain that to my dad?

Because, if so, we've tried. =P Right now, I believe he's at the point of selfishness. All of his kids are grown, he has no worries or responsibilities, so if he wants to drink, he should be able to drink. Who cares about not seeing the grandkids? (;

[abaya]

Originally Posted by Baraka_Guru

I'm addicted to the Internet. It sounds lame, I know, but it's true.

No, it's not lame. I am, too. It is the primary hindrance that I allow to get in the way of being more productive on my PhD work. Sometimes it gets in the way of emotional intimacy with my husband, too (we both sit on our laptops for hours and hours on end). It has been this bad for a long time, probably 3-4 years now.
-----Added 28/8/2008 at 02 : 53 : 58-----

Originally Posted by RangerJoe

So, I'm a little off today (hence the actual posting (, but are you referring to trying to explain that to my dad?

I think he's talking about himself, RJ, and that he appreciated you telling your story of dealing with your dad. It was not "ranting." It was valuable.

[StephenSa]

I've had an alcohol addiction for quite some time and struggle with it. I tried AA and hated it, I tried therapy and that only temporarily slowed things down. I recently went twelve days without drinking and that was a good stretch for me but fell off the wagon last night. I'm still searching for my way out. I recently got involved with some healthier after work and weekend activities to keep me busy so I CAN'T drink. That has helped and I hope it will get better from here. I've found the only way to keep from it is to put myself in a place where I just can't do it. Its a daily struggle but I'm trying. Congrats to anyone that finds a way to stop or get it under control.

[Willravel]

Originally Posted by RangerJoe

So, I'm a little off today (hence the actual posting (, but are you referring to trying to explain that to my dad?

No, just to us.

[PonyPotato]

My father is an alcoholic.

My sister is a drug addict.

My mother is a gambler, though not yet to a self-destructive degree.

I moved a few states away partly to get away from their destructive behavior. I can't stand being around people who have such little regard for themselves and the people around them.

I hope all of you dealing with addictions are able to kick them and stay clean. It's important. I carefully monitor my own behavior and ask Crompsin to alert me if he notices anything awry so I don't follow the same path as my family.

[RangerJoe]

Originally Posted by Willravel

No, just to us.

I misunderstood. My apologies. =P

[abaya]

Originally Posted by merleniau

I carefully monitor my own behavior and ask Crompsin to alert me if he notices anything awry so I don't follow the same path as my family.

That is a very, very wise and responsible thing to do. Most people suck at accountability, especially with regards to something as selfish as addiction. I do. It has to be very serious accountability, with strict consequences, before it affects my behavior.

My mother is a gambler. I have always disliked it. She dealt with it by becoming a card dealer, go figure (still feeds the fire, but doesn't cost money and is a little less self-destructive since it's actually a job). I know what you mean about staying the hell away from it.

[Glory's Sun]

I kicked a few drug addictions on my own.. 4 years ago.. almost 5.

as far as alcohol.. I've been sober for a few hours now.. does that count? :P

[Anormalguy]

Originally Posted by StephenSa

I've had an alcohol addiction for quite some time and struggle with it. I tried AA and hated it, I tried therapy and that only temporarily slowed things down. I recently went twelve days without drinking and that was a good stretch for me but fell off the wagon last night. I'm still searching for my way out. I recently got involved with some healthier after work and weekend activities to keep me busy so I CAN'T drink. That has helped and I hope it will get better from here. I've found the only way to keep from it is to put myself in a place where I just can't do it. Its a daily struggle but I'm trying. Congrats to anyone that finds a way to stop or get it under control.

I've avoid AA because of the "higher power" concept. Some people tell me that AA isn't about religion, that your HP can be whatever you're comfortable in believing, but others tell me differently. I guess that part of me says there's only one person in control of my addiction, & that's me. I believe that is the self-centeredness that AA says an alcoholic must overcome.

I don't want to sound as though I'm flaming AA or NA, they work/worked for many, many people.

I can't currently avoid being around alcohol. My wife drinks, mostly at home same as I did, & there's always liqour in the house. So far the temptation hasn't been very strong, but I don't know when I might snap & say screw it, I'm having a drink.

[MSD]

I have a genetic predisposition toward addiction and compulsive behavior. For the past 5 or 6 years, I went through cycles of bing drinking and abstinence. I have it fully under control, but I have to keep myself looking out for the signs that I'm losing control and cut back if I think I'm going overboard. I don't want to hit the point of no return, I have too much fun when I'm drinking and have gotten to the point that I don't regret anything in the morning.

Maybe I'm not "sober and clean," but I no longer black out and hear stories of what an ass I made of myself the night before. That's my personal victory against addiction and destructive behavior.

[inBOIL]

I've never been psychologically addicted, but I did become physically addicted to paxil. When it was time to quit, the withdrawl symptoms were a bitch; nausea and dizziness so bad that all I could do was lie in bed or carefully make my way to the bathroom. I even had to shower sitting down because I couldn't trust myself to stay upright.

I kind of understand the difficulty with a psychological addiction, as there were a few times when I thought "If I just take one pill, all this discomfort will dissapear in 30 minutes." But the thought of having to take one pill a day indefinitely was irritating enough to overcome my desire for relief.

[Cernunnos]

I may have been addicted to online gaming as a teenager. I would regularly arrive home from school, settle down with my favorite MMORPG or shooter at the time, and play for the remainder of the afternoon and evening. I wouldn't even take a break for dinner, preferring to eat while at the computer. Over the past few years, my interest in gaming has severely waned, to the point where I am not playing for more than a few hours per week. Compare those few hours to around 35-45 as they previously were (the equivalent of a full time job), and you can see how it could have been an addiction.

My schoolwork undoubtedly suffered as a direct result of the imbalance in my life, as did my social relationships and family connections. I had no other hobbies that were anywhere near as significant, so they were kicked to the curb. I developed into an intelligent young man, but without any sort of useful skill set or exploration outside of virtual worlds.

I've changed this over the past few years and will continue to improve myself as an individual. I wasted too much time on what produced nothing of substance, no tangible benefits outside of immediate pleasure.

[Merlocke]

Addicted to video games here. Life virtually stops until I've finished the game, or have missed so much time not eating, not getting work done, etc and just have to quit to catch up again from under the mountain of procrastination. I'm looking forward and dreading the release of starcraft II and diablo III - kicked the WOW addiction awhile back myself as well.

Funny enough - now I'm addicted to working - even though I'm technically semi-retired at the ripe old age of 28.

[Nisses]

Used to be addicted to video games (Diablo II cost me more than I would like to admit).

Last one was World of Warcraft.
I finally overcame it by uninstalling and stopping the payment.
Even now I still have trouble actually getting motivated to do stuff. I can feel the urge to simply copy it from the HD of my housemates and start over.
The worst part is: I am even bored while playing it, but I still want to play... annoyingly stupid.

And I've stopped playing for a year now. I wonder when that urge is finally going to stop.

I dread the day Diablo III releases, because I'm sure I won't resist.