allaboutmusic

The news always seems to be full of tragedy these days, but this one really upset me:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/wales/south_east/7210155.stm

I missed the story the first time (when it actually happened back in August), so it's the first time I heard about this horrible story. The perpetrator is still at large. I'm not normally a vengeful person, but if they ever catch whoever did this, I hope he gets what he deserves.

I know this is general discussion and I'm supposed to have a question for everyone to discuss, but at the moment I'm just angry... I'm sure I'll have something when I've cooled down in a bit.

savmesom11

Question or not I would like to just stress the need to educate people regarding depression and suicide. How very sad she didn't feel as if there was some where she could turn for help, support, and therapy. I am sad for her and her family. I wish she would have picked up the phone and called a suicide prevention line, someone could have helped her realize her worth.

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* I do not believe that struggles are a sign of life falling apart, but rather a step of life falling into place. *

jewels

Stories like that are so sad.

It's difficult enough to testify and build a case against a rapist, and with women concocting stories to bleed cash out of sports stars and others, it must be incredibly rough.

Sigh. Very sad.

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We are always more anxious to be distinguished for a talent which we do not possess, than to be praised for the fifteen which we do possess.
Mark Twain

Manic_Skafe

I often wonder what these threads are supposed to accomplish. Horrible news is shared with the forum and the only appropriate thing to say is, "oh that's terrible."

Maybe it's just me but I'm not exactly sure where we're supposed to go from here.

- -

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Infinite_Loser

I never really feel any remorse for people who kill themselves, regardless of circumstances. Sure, it's terrible that she was raped and all, but you can't exactly blame the rapist for the girl committing suicide.

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I believe in equality; Everyone is equally inferior to me.

hrandani

I find that sentiment darkly hilarious coming from one of the most prominent bible-thumpers on this board.

WWJD indeed.

Infinite_Loser

Ah... It's the infamous "WWJD?" response. Since you obviously know more than I do, please tell me what Jesus would do.

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I believe in equality; Everyone is equally inferior to me.

Jenny_Lyte

You're kidding, right? Are you saying that if she had not been raped, she still would have committed suicide?

Infinite_Loser

No, that's not what I'm saying at all. Committing suicide is a personal decision. That is, no one forces another person to kill themselves (Not including situations of duress). Generally people don't commit suicide over one situation. It's generally a compilation of a number of problems. If it wasn't the fact that she was raped which pushed her over the edge, it would have been something else.

*Shrugs*

Still sad that it happened, but I don't have any remorse for those who decide to kill themselves instead of seeking out more constructive ways of dealing with their problems.

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I believe in equality; Everyone is equally inferior to me.

Jenny_Lyte

While it's true that suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem, I don't think it's fair to judge someone's choice to kill themselves. Hopefully none of us have been raped and hopefully none of us will. To comprehend the psychological effects of rape without going through it, is like taking advice on flight from a goldfish.

Infinite_Loser

Erm... I don't need to be raped to understand why suicide is always a bad idea.

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I believe in equality; Everyone is equally inferior to me.

hrandani

I never pretended to know anything about Christianity or the Bible, or Jesus for that matter, but the evidence speaks for itself on the subject of compassion for others:

"Then said Jesus, "Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do ..."
Luke 23:34

"Judge not, and ye shall not be judged: condemn not, and ye shall not be condemned, forgive, and ye shall be forgiven."

"For this is the message that ye heard from the beginning, that we should love one another." 1 John 3:11

"Beloved, let us love one another: for love is of God; and every one that loveth is born of God and knoweth God ... Beloved, if God so loved us, we ought also to love one another, God dwelleth in us, and his love is perfected in us." 1 John 4:7, 11-12

"Let all that you do be done with love." 1 Corinthians 16:14

"Finally, all of you be of one mind, having compassion for one another; love as brothers, be tenderhearted, be courteous; not returning evil for evil or reviling for reviling ... " 1 Peter 3:8

Jenny_Lyte

But that's just the thing. For these people, it's not a bad idea. We can't begin to understand why they chose to do what they do unless we are in their shoes. And I find it disrespectful to even try and pretend that we do understand.

Infinite_Loser

/slightlyofftopic

You seem to be mixing three different concepts here. Firstly, you seem to assume I don't feel bad that the situation happened. This is false, as I've said twice that it's unfortunate the situation happened. Secondly, you seem to believe I said something about the girl going to hell or being privy to eternal damnation when, indeed, I mentioned no such thing. Third, and lastly, you seem to be under the impression that love = acceptance of personal choices when it doesn't.

/endslightofftopicness

There's a few people on this board who have been raped before (Even though I haven't seen one of them in a long, long time). Regardless of circumstances, suicide is NEVER the answer. Suicide, for intent's and purpose's, is the 'easy' way out as it prevents the person from ever dealing with his/her situation. To sound dickish (Or like WK), she wasn't the first person to have ever been raped and she won't be the last. If she had problems dealing with the fact that she was raped, then she should have talked to someone. But blaming her suicide on the rapist is not only extremely short-sighted, but it ignores other factors and causes that led to her taking her own life.

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I believe in equality; Everyone is equally inferior to me.

Baraka_Guru

I tend to agree somewhat with Infinite_Loser. It is a sad story, and I feel bad for the girl and her friends and family, but her choice to take her own life placed grief onto her survivors.

I depart from Infinite_Loser's thoughts on this when I feel sympathy for the girl (remorse isn't quite the word, I don't think, since it is normally reserved for one's own actions). She was suffering greatly and had ultimately succumbed to it. Being angry at her or thinking she was too weak to deal with her problems isn't constructive, especially for her friends and family. Although we cannot logically blame her rapist for her death, he should certainly be held accountable for causing her suffering and should face the consequences of his actions.

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Knowing that death is certain and that the time of death is uncertain, what's the most important thing?
—Bhikkhuni Pema Chödrön

Humankind cannot bear very much reality.
—From "Burnt Norton," Four Quartets (1936), T. S. Eliot

Terrell

I think that if they catch the rapist he should stand trial and face punishment for the rape. In my opinion, he should not be held legally responsible for her death, since he didn't kill her. She chose to kill herself, and I don't think that a criminal or civil jury should hold her suicide against the rapist. The rape charge however should stick, and he should go to prison for the rape. (I don't know if they will be able to convict the rapist without her testimony, I hope they can)

Toaster126

The alleged rapist didn't kill her. Wtf at the coroner saying "direct consequence".

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"The question isn't who is going to let me, it's who is going to stop me." (Ayn Rand)
"The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers." (M. Scott Peck)

itsnick

Gotta point Manic....but I do hope that the more we know the more we (society) will realise how much we fail people in such circumstances, and how many people slip through the gaps without us knowling....what;s really terrible is that we have this to post...

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“Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts." Mark Twain