Cynthetiq

Some of us have been here for many years now, in internet time it's probably several lifetimes. If you don't know TFP is in version 4.0, as part of it's own evolution it has changed each time eventually settling into what it is now, but still not settled. There is still growth happening and still growth to come. A wise doctor I know of stated, "I judged myself by my intentions, while the world was judging me by my actions." So while we can talk about wanting to grow, evolve, or change, it doesn't do any good until it actually happens.

For me, I thought I was a tolerant individual. I thought I had the patience of patience because everyone told me that I had alot of patience. Yet I find myself still frustrated by people who try my patience. I see it here in posts, I see it in me as I walk down the street. I used to actually skip over posts of members who's voices dissented and disagreed from my very own, who aggravated me and made me upset. But how is it growth if I didn't confront what it was? So over time, I started reading those members posts. I tried to understand just where they were coming from, and what it was about them or their posts that made me find it unacceptable. I found that it was something within me that was unacceptable. I needed to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as on what needs to be changed in me and in my attitudes. With that I found that these people are not so different from me, but more like me than ever imagined. Now as I read their posts I've grown to expect them to challenge me and my perceptions of the world and how I understand it.

Simply put some basic growth for me has been to no longer ignore those people and posts that annoy me, but to accept them head on and see how they fit into my world and life. It doesn't mean that I don't fall back into old habits, but it is important that I recognize them.

So here is the question from the time you first logged onto here, how have you grown? What has happened to you to make that turn from thinking about change and actually changing?

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I don't care if you are black, white, purple, green, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, hippie, cop, bum, admin, user, English, Irish, French, Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, indian, cowboy, tall, short, fat, skinny, emo, punk, mod, rocker, straight, gay, lesbian, jock, nerd, geek, Democrat, Republican, Libertarian, Independent, driver, pedestrian, or bicyclist, either you're an asshole or you're not.

Willravel

Yeah, my bad Cynth. I don't mean to try your patience, it's just that we can on occasion have drastically differing opinions on things. I think you're right that growth can come from confronting and learning about opinions other than your own.

I think I've changed a bit. Thanks to many, many member here, I now have a lot more friends. I've been able to widen my perceptions quite a bit thanks to everyone's different backgrounds and educations. When I logged on to TFP for the first time back in 2004, I was a centrist. Now I'm a far leftist, and not because I was fooled or was controlled, but because other people helped me to discover who I was and am.

Plan9

(thinks about this)

...

Nah.

...

I'm still retarded.

...

But I've only begun my journey here... and I really like this place a lot. The people here are unbelievably brainy and feature a razor wit. Thanks, people.

...

Alternative answer: "No, but my warning level got bigger!"

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Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

RenaissanceII

My growth was there, just waiting to happen.....
I had to suit up and show up and be willing to start the journey...

As a program friend tells me, "The best.....is yet to come."

And I am grateful that I am able to do it here (and other places) among friends...

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And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.
Anais Nin


I Wish You Well.

Shauk

I'm a slow learner

and no, I shoot myself in the foot again and again even if people tell me not to. I have to learn on my own. I can discuss as much as I want but I value my own unique perspectives on things since I can't possibly explain every little nuance that could flavor a general situation to be a little different than what people are envisioning.

its interesting to find out who's right or wrong in the end. kind of a tally against myself to see if I'm good at making good situations out of bad in any case.

Ourcrazymodern?

Not that I've been here that long: I feel like I've undergone a metamorphosis of a sort. The members have given me wings, and if I still mostly flutter, flying is coming. I love the TFP!

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BE JUST AND FEAR NOT

Push-Pull

Only been on a few months, but I have learned that honest, direct communication is key between spouses. Still not perfect about it, but have learned that it works, and will be practicing as the need arises.

Also learned that writing down your thoughts and feelings (journal) really does give me an outlet. It doesn't solve things perse, but does maybe clear my mind and allow me to think about things without all the emotion blocking the process.

I really do love this place and the people within......

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"No laws, no matter how rigidly enforced, can protect a person from their own stupidity." -Me-

"Some people are like Slinkies..... They are not really good for anything, but they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs." -Unknown-

DAMMIT! -Jack Bauer-

MSD

When I joined, I was a Communist; now I'm a moderate libertarian.
When I joined, I was religious; now I'm an agnostic atheist.
When I joined, I believed that the offensive should be avoided in humor; now I believe that nothing is sacred, especially that which is sacred.
When I joined, I was a 16-year-old breaking the age rule; now I'm a moderator and have banned dozens of people for not getting away with what I did.
When I joined, I had faith in humanity and believed that people could change things with hard work and relentless effort; now I understand that almost every company, business, and institution in the world is a bureaucracy set up to make change impossible unless it is ordered from the top.

The_Jazz

Hmmm, I guess I'm going to be odd man out again. I spent some time yesterday and today rereading some of my old posts, and I don't think that many of my perspectives have changed much. Perhaps that because I skimmed so much of the material in host's posts .

Seriously, as far as my opinions go, the core ones remain unchanged. Some of the situational ones (i.e. Alberto Gonzales) have sharpened, some because of information I've found here. Individuals rarely affect what I think about a given topic.

That said, I've certainly made more friends here than I ever thought possible. This is really my first and only foray into a forum, and I've gotten to know people a lot better than I thought I ever would, even in real life.

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"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety." - B. Franklin
"There ought to be limits to freedom." - George W. Bush
"We have met the enemy and he is us." - Pogo

shesus

Since joining TFP, many things have been questioned, experimented, and changed...I have definitely evolved since I joined. I have met a lot of people and made some great friends. I won't go into specifics because I don't think they need said. I know who has made impacts in my life and I'm sure they do too.

I've learned a lot about myself and I'd say it's from regular life, but most of my life altering experiences have been because of people on TFP. For example, I know that I wouldn't be in AZ if it weren't for TFP.

I think I know myself better and I'm still on that journey. It will continue with or without TFP, but it's more interesting with TFP in my life right now.

Also, I was finally accepted for my dirty mind after years of being the inappropriate one.

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Whatever did happen to your soul?
I heard you sold it

Choose Heaven for the weather and Hell for the company

Ustwo

Interesting questions to me are those for which I do not have a clear answer.

This is an interesting question.

While I have changed in a lot of ways since joining TFP, I can't say if any of it was DUE to TFP.

TFP has helped cement the views I had prior to joining about humanity as a whole. If anything I'd say I've been more of a catalyst for some others viewpoints, while remaining mostly unchanged myself.

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Agents of the enemies who hold office in our own government, who attempt to eliminate our "freedoms" and our "right to know" are posting among us, I fear.....on this very forum. - host

Obama - Know a Man by the friends he keeps.

MSD

Two other things I should mention:
1: I credit SecretMethod70 with inspiring my trek across the political spectrum. I started to really think after a few things he said, and that's what started me toward where I am today

2: I also completely reversed my views on gun control. I used to support it in whatever form it came in, and now I oppose everything other than NFA restrictions, the prohibited persons list (minus felons who have completed their sentence, I think that shuld be up to a judge and jury rather than a zero-tolerance issue) and background checks.

snowy

This is a really good question.

I think the change in myself brought about by TFP is not reflected in politics, but rather emotional growth, understanding of myself, and care for myself. TFP has inspired me to live a healthier life--mentally and physically.

Thank you, TFP.

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If I am not better, at least I am different. --Jean-Jacques Rousseau

Sultana

Big changes:
I am definitely not afraid to address, explore, and discuss my sexuality.

I am not afraid to present my PoV, even if it goes against what others may be posting in that thread.

I am much more open about sharing painful, ugly details of my life that don't make me look good (in my journal, mostly).

I am more tolerant of viewpoints other than mine, as long as they are presented with respect.

I am more aware of the importance of evaluating and validating my own feelings, and taking honest actions (even if difficult) because of how I feel about things and situations. This is likely tied strongly into personal counseling I was having simultaneously.

Not bad. Not bad at all.

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"Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath.
At night, the ice weasels come." -

Matt Groening

My goal? To fulfill my potential.

Daniel_

When I joined I was bored, depressed, oppressed, aching to divorce my cheating wife, and hating every moment I was at work.

Since then I have found interest, a new wife, a new job, and a new courage to state what I feel to be right.

I have found friends, opinions and modes of personal expression here that I would not have found otherwise.

Thanks folks.

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Overhead, the Albatross hangs motionless upon the air,
And deep beneath the rolling waves,
In labyrinths of Coral Caves,
The Echo of a distant time
Comes willowing across the sand;
And everthing is Green and Submarine
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mixedmedia

TFP has enabled me to experience myself more fully than I ever thought possible.

I don't feel so much like I have changed, I mean, my outlook on the world around me has not changed.

It is the looking in that has changed. TFP has given me a place to express details of my inner experience as a person, and as a woman, that I don't know I'd ever have expressed without it.

For that I will be forever grateful.

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Most people go through life dreading they'll have a traumatic experience. Freaks were born with their trauma. They've already passed their test in life. They're aristocrats. - Diane Arbus
PESSIMISM, n. A philosophy forced upon the convictions of the observer by the disheartening prevalence of the optimist with his scarecrow hope and his unsightly smile. - Ambrose Bierce

onodrim

Many forces in my life since high school have helped shape who I am today, and TFP is undeniably one of them.

When I joined TFP, I was still holding on to fragments of my fundamentalist Christian upbringing. I found out that my boyfriend, SecretMethod70, was an admin at a "porn site," and freaked out. He assured me that there was more to the site and I should give it a chance. Within a week of joining, I realized that not all the members here were evil perverts and most of them were actually really cool people! While I was already on a path to overcoming many of the repressions that I had grown up with, I'm sure this was a huge catalyst to embracing my own sexuality, which I was ashamed of in my house.

My world growing up was very small, and any attempt to break free was immediately squashed. Joining a large community like TFP with so many people and so many varying viewpoints was hugely helpful in broadening my world view, and not being afraid to explore new thoughts and ideas.

Ideologically, I am a very different person today than I was around the time that I joined, and TFP has certainly played a part!

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"The world is so exquisite with so much love and moral depth, that there is no reason to deceive ourselves with pretty stories for which there’s little good evidence. Far better it seems to me, in our vulnerability, is to look death in the eye and to be grateful every day for the brief but magnificent opportunity that life provides"
-Carl Sagan

analog

Well, to be fair, I don't think WK was a member yet.

As for me, I'm sure some things have changed. Hell, when I joined more than 5 years ago, I was still a Computer Science major in college- the first time I went to college.

Shortly after joining here (though the two events are not related) I gave up on computer programming... I realized that I hated doing it... I remember talking to people and realizing that I, personally, could never have a career I didn't love doing.

So, I took up my writing full-time. After getting a really nice management job (note: still a "job"), I realized that even just the writing wasn't enough... I needed my full-time "thing" to be something I loved, so I went to the subject I'd kind of ignored so long ago... medicine.

I can honestly say that it's through the friendships and conversations I've had on these boards that I've been lead towards some of my favorite choices. "Do something you love." It never occurred to me how important that was... and maybe it's not as important to everyone... but for me, it's the only way.

So yeah... my growth as a person has been influenced greatly by my time on the site. Right now, i'm just trying to figure out if it's only been 5, or 6 years. lol...