...

I am very disturbed by this revelation.

Well..one time my friend convinced me to masturbate in the cemetery near another friends house...is that spontaneous?

I just wanted to let it be known that this thread, this VERY thread, induced me to experience a bout of spontaneous masturbation earlier this morning. :D

Good work abaya, you win in my books...every last one of them

I think there's going to be a lot more spontaneous masturbation if all the pretty ladies on the forum keep talking like this. :D

true story:

When I was in the Air Force (Bill O'Rights, please please please don't read this....) I was stationed at a base that had an alert aircraft facility on it. One of our jobs as security was to stand in the back of this building 24 hours a day and stare at it (in the off chance some crazy fanatic attempted to burrow his way through the blast exhaust).

Anyway, I was fortunate enough to be posted here one day when I found that the person who was posted there some time before me had left some reading material behind. (Hustler, for the sake of the story). Anyways, the sun went down and I found myself grabbing the magazine, heading up to the top of the facility where no one could see me, and proceeded to lay my seed on the roof of the Zulu Alert Facility, all thanks to a couple of skateboarding lesbians.

My M-16 never left my side.

A couple summer ago I was working for my father in law and I was drilling holes in cement with this drill that vibrated alot, and to operate it properly you had to operate it like a jack hammer and almost sit on it. So for long stretches of time I was placing my dick on a vibrating drill. Needless to say, I had to run to the port-a-poties a couple times to 'get the sin out'. That's as spontaneous a masturbation story that I've got.

Anyone else read this and immediately think, "this is my rifle... this is my gun... this is for shooting... this is for fun" :D

Now that you mentioned it...I can't get Stewie Griffin's face out of my mind.

I've had a spontaneous BJ performed on me once, in a secluded area of central park...and an empty staircase in NYC..

Other than that, I once stared at my penis in the mirror after peeing while an airplane bathroom, and decided "what the hell, he's been on here for 6 hours, he deserves it".

You people are crazy.

Thanks for giving it a word. I try to be better about doing homework or studying these days... but when there have been times in the past where I'd use masturbation as an excuse to put off doing homework. If you're trying to kill time, you can drag it out forever.

ho! are we gonna talk about blowjobs now? :suave:

I've always wanted to join the mile-high club, but I've never been on a plane with any of my girlfriends. So when I was flying home this past Christmas, I decided I would at least masturbate on a plane. But there was a lineup waiting to use the washroom when I finally got in, so I didn't get the opportunity.

Anyway, just thought I would add my own tangent.

-Tamerlain

Splat, splat, splat splat splat splat splat, dribble, ooze:love: :lol:

I wish I could get that many splats out... :|

Some days are diamonds. Just responding to the thread, y'know.
Many responses are spontaneous, right?

Just because I took the thread from second to third base is no reason to call me a ho, mixedmedia;)

Well you can call me "ho", with solo sex I don't say "no"
Though I'm young I'll keep on at it till I'm old.
I've enjoyed the odd occasion of spontaneous masturbation
And been the cause for others, I've been told.

Some of you may have been wondering just where the hell I've been in this thread.

To those of you wondering, well, I've been masturbating.

To those of you not wondering, well, I've been sewing.

And for those of you wondering what he was sewing, it's a sock for his masturbating.

Did you do it on the balcony, JJ?

(the sewing, of course :D)

LOL! That is the exclamatory ho, my friend. I would never call you a Ho unless I had good reason to. :p

Why? Is it less sinful if you're wearing a sock?

think of it as a tube sock :lol:

and for the Worlds King - perhaps a toe-sock :D

:thumbsup: way cool.

...we people are crazy:lol:

You want to know what I'm doing right now, while reading this thread? I'm folding diapers, that's what.

Needless to say, opportunity, motivation and energy are a bit subdued these days.

Just you wait though. The pressure is slowly building and some day when I least expect it... Ka-pow! :D

*whew* I feel much better now. Something about girls and girls and girls has some strange effect on me.

I have to be careful with spontaneity the worst thing is when you are on the subway and suddenly there you are... I think I need to invest in a rubber raincoat.

I think vibrating panties might be a useful investment. Are they quiet?

The more important question: Are you?
I couldn't wear them in public. :lol:

I can be if I try really hard... one of my exes used to revel in touching me under the table when we were out having dinner. Particularly fun when we were once out with friends, and I had an orgasm while the waiter was taking orders... he actually asked me if I was feeling okay. Ahh, good days.

Excellent.

My wife fondled me under the table and characterized it as a very exciting experience. Needless to say, I also enjoyed it.

You should try it on her sometime. The more public, the more fun it is to conceal it.

Oh yes, that will be so much better. I think they actually put you away for life if caught masturbating in public and wearing a (pervert) raincoat. :)

(I'm doing it again right now)

Oh, wait, there's my wife...

Ah, the things you find when you're looking for broken avatars...

Thanks for the trip back in time, Jazzy. :)

Thanks for the bump.

Hell, yeah. All the time. I was a driving masturbator as well. Recalling the early morning events with my man at the time got me very hot on my way to work. I didn't even care if anyone saw, maybe the prospect of someone noticing may have helped.

These days it's at the oddest times. At home, yes, but in the middle of a drab TV show or nonsexual movie scene. Sometimes, the odd post here at TFP might do it.

This is where self restraint comes in handy. :)

Damn, if that lady burst into flames from masturbating, she needs to lube up a little more. Thats some serious fire starting friction there...