JumpinJesus

For anyone who's read shesus' journal, you are aware that as of June, we will be unemployed temporarily. Chicago Public Schools holds a few teacher job fairs every year and one of them was today. Having found out that we are being staff reduced, we decided to attend today's event in order to seek employment in our trained field.

Our morning started out fairly typical. Get up, shower, shave, find something snazzy to wear - one must dress to impress in an interview, after all. I have 2 suits. One I like better than the other. I put this one on and remember that I'm one dapper motherfucker when I wear it. I'm feelin' good, lookin' good, and ready to have a number of random principals bite and scratch over my employment.

We leave the house, resumes and certificates in hand and walk to our nearest Starbucks for our morning jolt. We stop at the Water Tower for a quick smoke before making our way down Michigan Avenue towards Navy Pier (the sight of today's job fair). We're debating whether we should walk or take a cab. Walking would be nice as it's a beautiful day out and we love the exercise. We decide, however, that taking a cab would be the best option as we don't want to be late nor do we want to show up sweaty from our jaunt. We cross Chicago Avenue and see a firetruck making its way toward us. We have plenty of time to cross. As we reach the curb we hear the telltale crunching sound of an automobile accident. We turn to see that a taxi has failed to yield the right of way to the emergency vehicle and has been struck rather hard by the firetruck. Shesus and I look at each other and say, "You know, those cabbies deserve it because they never ever yield to anyone. Serves him right." Luckily no one is hurt so we continue walking.

At this point I realize that finding a cab won't be as easy now seeing as how the firetruck and cab are blocking Michigan Avenue. We continue walking and spy a cab on a side street. We hail it and begin to climb in.

"Where are you going?" Asks the cabbie.
"Navy Pier," says shesus.

At this moment, I realize something dreadful has happened. As I was getting into the cab, my coffee cup hit the door jamb. I look down to see that my shirt and jacket are now covered in raspberry mocha.

"Goddammit. Nevermind Navy Pier. We need to go back to Dearborn," I say as shesus looks at me incredulously.

"What did you do??" she asks.

Well, I didn't do anything. My coffee did it.

We get home and I decide to change into my other suit. It's not my favorite one but it works. I now have to find a shirt to match the suit and do this with enough time to make it back to the job fair before it gets too crowded and we become just two more faces in the sea of hopefuls. There's a problem.

The suit pants are gone.


Gone.




Vanished.




We search high and low, every closet, every hanger, every drawer. They're just not here. I have no idea where they are or where they went. My choices now are: 1. Go to the job interview in my coffee stained suit and hope no one notices, 2. Wear my other suit without pants, or 3. Say, "Fuck it." and go to the next job fair in June. We chose option 3. I'll take my dapper suit to the cleaners and hopefully get this mocha out.

Fucking karma. Never laugh at the misfortune of a cabbie again.


Do you have any interesting stories of instant karma knocking you right off your feet?

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"I can normally tell how intelligent a man is by how stupid he thinks I am" - Cormac McCarthy, All The Pretty Horses

shesus

Oh baby, you left the funniest part out. Not only did the mocha deface Calvin Klein, a sin within itself, but you also had mocha all over your forehead. And yes, I was laughing the whole way home...so I have on some old clothes waiting for karma to strike me down.

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Whatever did happen to your soul?
I heard you sold it

Choose Heaven for the weather and Hell for the company

Sultana

I'm so sorry your day was so messed up! That sucks, hardcore.

I'd also *love* to know where yuor pants are, and how they came to be missing. When was the last time you wore that suit?

You have an engaging way of writing.

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"Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath.
At night, the ice weasels come." -

Matt Groening

My goal? To fulfill my potential.

Toaster126

Sorry, didn't realize you'd need those pants back, JJ. I think you left them on my hotel floor.

On a serious note, I hope the job search goes well for you kids.

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"The question isn't who is going to let me, it's who is going to stop me." (Ayn Rand)
"The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers." (M. Scott Peck)

Elphaba

Karma loses track of me from time to time. Then I up and say something foolish to get her attention. I gotta learn to keep my mouth shut.

Carno

Haha... that is a bummer.

One time I was playing baseball with some friends, and the game was tied and my team was last at bat. The kid in front of me struck out and I, being a douchebag that wanted to win a little too much, made some stupid comment about him sucking. So then I go up to bat, and the first pitch that comes in socks me right in the fucking eye. My nose started bleeding like a sieve, and I had a huge black eye for about two weeks.

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Misz

Haha great story I have one of my own, my friend was trying to moonwalk and I was takin the piss out of him laughin and stuff anyways I walk into the labs ( kind of slippery flooring in there ) and try and bust out a moonwalk, I swang my leg to far back causing me to go off balance and land flat on my face, infront of the hole class.

ShaniFaye

It wasnt as "instant" as your, but close enuff to me to count lol

My sister had a lumpectomy for her breast cancer. I was telling her it was no big deal (from what I'd read) not to worry, dont be a baby etc etc....I find out a few weeks later that I have to have one (this is the part that makes me think "karma") "because of my sister" he said if it werent for my sister he would give me the choice on if I wanted it or not.

lol Im gonna kick my sisters butt one day

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I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!!

Charlatan

(struggling hard not to laugh... struggling hard not to laugh... struggling very hard not to laugh...)

Instant Karma is a bitch.

I can't remember the last time something like that happened to me. I'm just not the mean sort that would laugh at someone else's misfortune...

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"My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars."
- Old Man Luedecke

noodle

I laughed my butt off when two people I couldn't stand the most at work handed in their notice and one got fired on the spot.

The very next day, I witnessed two car accidents on the way to work (minor fender-benders, but STILL), my work cell phone broke, my laptop started making NASCAR noises and the hard drive completely, physically crashed. I haven't laughed at anyone's misfortunes since.

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MSD

I once lost a pair of suit pants on the way to school. I had to give a presentation for my public speaking final, I was supposed to dress up, and somewhere between home and school, my car must have teleported my pants into hyperspace, or dumped them into a wormhole, or something, because they weren't there when I took the rest of my suit out of the car.

Poppinjay

I suffered the karma from anger today. My wife wanted me to schedule a service appointment for our lemon. But the service station she wants to use doesn't exist in the phone book, directory service, google, or mapquest. I drove by it and saw that it was actually there, but they apparently go by a different name in the phone book, which I could not divine.

So I was pissed off at them. Who the fuck puts up signs with one business name, but operates in all contact info under another name.

Meanwhile, while I'm rushing around trying to get this errand done, my wife is calling me and having her co-worker hold the phone outside the car so I can hear the noise that it's making, that it only makes while the car moves.

So of course all I can hear is wind.

I have to walk the dogs, so I grab our storage key so I can combine a couple of tasks - walking the dogs and getting silicone spray out of my automotive tub in the storage room. So I get down to the storage room and with dog leashes in hand find that it has been re-arranged with everything else wedged in ahead of my automative tub.

So I cuss, and walk the dogs. I take them back up to our walkup, and get my lunch together and grab the trash and head out. I decided to go ahead and pull everything out of storage so I can get the spray and see if it will fix out other car's problem. I get all grubby in my white buttdown shirt.

So I throw the trash in the back, and work on the car for a few minutes, spraying silicone at a squeaky belt. The noise stops, and I get in the car to go, but first drop by the dumpster where there was somebody leisurely washing his car in the trash drop off spot.

Pissed, I just stop in the middle of the parking lot, and get out with the motor running to grab the trash in the back seat. But the door was locked. As was the door I just closed. And all my keys and cell phone were inside.

Soooooo.... $65 dollars later, I learn not to get in a lather about other people's lack of mental acuity.

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I think the Apocalypse is happening all around us. We go on eating desserts and watching TV. I know I do. I wish we were more capable of sustained passion and sustained resistance. We should be screaming and what we do is gossip. -Lydia Millet

ngdawg

Never try to prove to your 13 year old how flexible YOU are and she isn't...that's all I'm sayin....MRI is this Thursday.

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Don't blame me. I didn't vote for either of'em.

Redlemon

Mine was completely internal. I bragged about something recently. The thing about which I bragged may have flipped around and bit me on the ass. It's a little too personal/raw to share right now, and not resolved yet, so... yeah.

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I can't read your signature. Sorry.

JustJess

Karma and I have a friendly little discussion just about every day. It's all about my commute to work.

When I am nice to other people, which frankly, I am wont to be, things go more smoothly during my commute. If I stop to help that woman carry the stroller full of baby down the stairs, or direct someone who's lost, or give up my seat for the old or pregnant person... magically, my subway arrives just as I'm getting to the track. Or a bus that's not always there arrives magically just as I'm getting off the train, to take me the 10 blocks home so I don't have to walk (I never wait for it, just take it if it's there).

But when I'm cranky and stubborn and impatient, shit goes WRONG. No trains for 20 minutes. No buses anywhere in sight. Thinking uncharitable thoughts can get me screwed. And gods forbid, NEVER MENTION HOW WELL THINGS ARE GOING. That's a straight shot into the shitter for the rest of the day. Yeesh.

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My heart knows me better than I know myself, so I'm gonna let it do all the talkin'.