JumpinJesus

For anyone who's read shesus' journal, you are aware that as of June, we will be unemployed temporarily. Chicago Public Schools holds a few teacher job fairs every year and one of them was today. Having found out that we are being staff reduced, we decided to attend today's event in order to seek employment in our trained field.

Our morning started out fairly typical. Get up, shower, shave, find something snazzy to wear - one must dress to impress in an interview, after all. I have 2 suits. One I like better than the other. I put this one on and remember that I'm one dapper motherfucker when I wear it. I'm feelin' good, lookin' good, and ready to have a number of random principals bite and scratch over my employment.

We leave the house, resumes and certificates in hand and walk to our nearest Starbucks for our morning jolt. We stop at the Water Tower for a quick smoke before making our way down Michigan Avenue towards Navy Pier (the sight of today's job fair). We're debating whether we should walk or take a cab. Walking would be nice as it's a beautiful day out and we love the exercise. We decide, however, that taking a cab would be the best option as we don't want to be late nor do we want to show up sweaty from our jaunt. We cross Chicago Avenue and see a firetruck making its way toward us. We have plenty of time to cross. As we reach the curb we hear the telltale crunching sound of an automobile accident. We turn to see that a taxi has failed to yield the right of way to the emergency vehicle and has been struck rather hard by the firetruck. Shesus and I look at each other and say, "You know, those cabbies deserve it because they never ever yield to anyone. Serves him right." Luckily no one is hurt so we continue walking.

At this point I realize that finding a cab won't be as easy now seeing as how the firetruck and cab are blocking Michigan Avenue. We continue walking and spy a cab on a side street. We hail it and begin to climb in.

"Where are you going?" Asks the cabbie.
"Navy Pier," says shesus.

At this moment, I realize something dreadful has happened. As I was getting into the cab, my coffee cup hit the door jamb. I look down to see that my shirt and jacket are now covered in raspberry mocha.

"Goddammit. Nevermind Navy Pier. We need to go back to Dearborn," I say as shesus looks at me incredulously.

"What did you do??" she asks.

Well, I didn't do anything. My coffee did it.

We get home and I decide to change into my other suit. It's not my favorite one but it works. I now have to find a shirt to match the suit and do this with enough time to make it back to the job fair before it gets too crowded and we become just two more faces in the sea of hopefuls. There's a problem.

The suit pants are gone.


Gone.




Vanished.




We search high and low, every closet, every hanger, every drawer. They're just not here. I have no idea where they are or where they went. My choices now are: 1. Go to the job interview in my coffee stained suit and hope no one notices, 2. Wear my other suit without pants, or 3. Say, "Fuck it." and go to the next job fair in June. We chose option 3. I'll take my dapper suit to the cleaners and hopefully get this mocha out.

Fucking karma. Never laugh at the misfortune of a cabbie again.


Do you have any interesting stories of instant karma knocking you right off your feet?

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"I can normally tell how intelligent a man is by how stupid he thinks I am" - Cormac McCarthy, All The Pretty Horses