The most ridiculous thing you've ever heard from a customer - Page 2 - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

viejo gringo · 03-16-2006, 09:15 PM

Friend : No, I have not payed any money to Norton since I got
my PC in 2002...why???

does that have anything to do with the 1300 infected
files you found??....VG

Glad they have lots of Scotch...

Toaster126 · 03-16-2006, 10:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by biljan

I called AAA when I locked my keys in the car, hour and a half later they show up.

No joke- the guy gets out of the truck, first words to me---
"are the keys inside"

It took every ounce of my being to contain my sarcasim.

Why were you so upset? They get lots of calls where people are locked out and the keys aren't inside.

Martian · 03-17-2006, 01:31 AM

It's funny that I was just discussing with a colleague today the phenomenon of people who somehow manage to miss the speaker. This annoys the drive through staff, since it means that we have to fill the order at the window.

Speed of service is a huge deal at Tim's. Our target time for service in the drive through is twenty seconds at the window. Technically there's an overall target time as well, but window time is the one that counts. If you miss the speaker and we have to fill a large order at the window, we're looking at two to two and a half minutes. That's our whole hour shot. Fortunately I have no seniority at the new store, but at the old one it meant that I was the one who got shat on by the manager.

How exactly one misses the speaker, I know not. It's a four foot tall rectangular box jutting out of the ground. There are eight foot tall menu boards flanking it. Theoretically, anyone travelling in the drive through lane is going 5-6 mph at the most. And yet...

We also had a woman today who came through the drive through with absolutely no voice. I mean that literally, she could not speak for whatever reason, yet she still attempted to order at the speaker and was very annoyed that we couldn't divine her order.

Her passenger sat silently throughout the whole affair.

That's just today. I'm going to go take a nap now, but maybe later I'll recount the tale of 'pee guy', possibly the best/worst retail story I've got.

Poppinjay · 03-17-2006, 05:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by amire

While working at Kroger's:

Customer: Do you take Kroger Plus Cards?
Me: ...

I have a reason for that... You may have worked at a Kroger's that used to be a Dillon's. They merged a while back and they both issued identical cards except for the store name, then they changed some Dillon's to Kroger's.

cowudders14 · 03-17-2006, 11:04 AM

Possibly my best story comes from when I worked in a petrol station. 6 pumps. It was quite busy and all pumps were in use with a queue down the road. I'm in high speed mode but still being careful and making sure I look at every customer before authorising their pump. I'm glad I did.

On pump 4 was a guy, leaning on his car, holding the nozzle in the same hand as a lit cigarette, and chatting on his mobile with the other hand. Instead of starting his pump I quickly stopped all other pumps in the station and fired up the PA. On all pumps. "Would the man on pump 4 please extinguish his cigarette and switch off his mobile phone. I apologise to everyone else who has just had their pump stopped. When it is safe again I'll re-start them.

This guy then started yelling and waving at me, and calling me every name under the sun. I think he got the message when I just ignored him, and the full shop and the full forecourt were all staring at him with a "stop delaying me you dimwit" face on.

I fired up the PA again and repeated mostly the same thing, and he then threw the nozzle on the floor and drove out, tyres screeching, still on his mobile and still smoking!

My colleague went out and checked the pump and I re-started the other pumps, while virtually everyone else burst out laughing!

Poppinjay · 03-17-2006, 11:24 AM

Darwin was sitting there, right next to Andrew the Death Angel. Arguing about who gets the credit. They didn't keep their eye on the ball.

Martian · 03-17-2006, 12:35 PM

Right. So, pee guy.

This happened at the other Tim Horton's I worked at. I did a variety of jobs for that store; I was basically the guy who filled in wherever I was needed.

This particular night I was working the overnight shift. The store in question is right downtown, next door to a bar, down the street from a pool hall and a bit further down the street from three bars that are collectively known to be the seediest places in Oshawa.

The gentleman in question was a regular. He was suspected to be homeless and clearly had some mental issues. On the night in question, he was also very, very drunk. We didn't especially like dealing with him.

On this night he came in and started causing trouble. So, at the behest of the girl I was working with, I asked him to leave. He didn't put up too much of a fight, just walked out the front door.

The store I was working at had a front vestibule. The layout was such that we couldn't see the area directly beside either of the doors into the store, but we could see the area immediately outside the vestibule. So we knew if someone was in there, but couldn't see the interior of the vestibule itself.

Thus, we knew that when he walked out the door he was still in the vestibule. My co-worker was mopping the dining room, so she took a detour to kick him out of there. She poked her head into the vestibule, then ran back out. She immediately informed me that this charming gentleman was playing with himself in our vestibule.

Well, she was wrong. He wasn't playing with himself. He was urinating. When he finished, he sauntered out, calm as could be and began walking casually down the street.

I've no idea if the cops ever actually caught up with him. We called them all the same. After that, the task of cleaning the mess fell to me, unfortunately.

And thus the legend of pee guy was born.

blahblah454 · 03-17-2006, 02:59 PM

I can't think of anything specific at the moment. But I just really hate it when you work somewhere that takes coupons and the freakin coupon has rules and such on it and they still try to argue with you. IT SAYS RIGHT ON THE PAPER WHAT YOU CAN AND CAN'T DO! I just get really angry with people who don't check over something that seems so common as that. ahhh well.

Ace_O_Spades · 03-17-2006, 03:35 PM

the stupid idiot wanted a 2 inch slump on his batch of manhole covers... that's one of the most ridiculous things I've ever heard, you wouldn't need a 3 inch slump on anything that wasn't gonna be a foundation or a heavy load bearing beam... silly contractors.

Halx · 03-17-2006, 03:42 PM

Back when I used to do tech support, we had a few customers who used to call just to talk. One guy was paralyzed from the waist down.. sorta. I guess this guy was so lonely that he had to call his ISP's tech support to have some company. One day I got his call and wow.. he went on forever and ever about how he could get me drugs and about this sex 'therapist' that he had come over and perform sexual acts on him. Taking that call was one our out of my shift, so i wasn't particularly upset.

We also had another dude who would call every week with the same problem. Something about his modem settings. He claimed that people broke into his house and changed his modem settings.

Reading the account logs of customers like these was something we reserved for when it was really slow. Wow.. you start to wonder about the sanity of some people.

World's King · 03-17-2006, 03:50 PM

During my short lived career as an EMT...

Lady hunched over on a coutch. With a look of great pain on her face.

"I ripped my snatch."

ngdawg · 03-17-2006, 09:45 PM

King wins

Zyr · 03-18-2006, 02:10 AM

If win is the right word.

Poloboy · 03-18-2006, 09:44 AM

While working at a pool as a lifeguard, a woman walked up and informed me that "the pool deck is quite slippery when it gets wet." Holding my tongue, all I said was "Yeah, better be careful." She didn't seem satisfied with this response so she then told me that "you all should do something about that."

Yeah...ok. Let me go get a few towels and dry up the pool deck for you lady.

rhaevyn · 03-18-2006, 01:10 PM

I was debating posting this, because it's not really something ridiculous I've heard from a customer, but here it is:

I worked at an ice cream shop for a year, and yes, there were times when customers would pay for small things with just coins. However, there was one time when this big family, who spoke very little English, came to our window and ordered a lot of ice cream sundaes, totaling around $35.00. Yep, they paid entirely in coins; not even quarters, it was mostly nickels and dimes. We were very busy that night, so we had to bring a couple people in from the back room, not only to help complete the order, but also to help count the money so that we could get to the other customers quickly.

Thankfully, that only happened once.

03-17-2006, 01:31 AM	#43 (permalink)
Martian Young Crumudgeon Location: Canada	It's funny that I was just discussing with a colleague today the phenomenon of people who somehow manage to miss the speaker. This annoys the drive through staff, since it means that we have to fill the order at the window. Speed of service is a huge deal at Tim's. Our target time for service in the drive through is twenty seconds at the window. Technically there's an overall target time as well, but window time is the one that counts. If you miss the speaker and we have to fill a large order at the window, we're looking at two to two and a half minutes. That's our whole hour shot. Fortunately I have no seniority at the new store, but at the old one it meant that I was the one who got shat on by the manager. How exactly one misses the speaker, I know not. It's a four foot tall rectangular box jutting out of the ground. There are eight foot tall menu boards flanking it. Theoretically, anyone travelling in the drive through lane is going 5-6 mph at the most. And yet... We also had a woman today who came through the drive through with absolutely no voice. I mean that literally, she could not speak for whatever reason, yet she still attempted to order at the speaker and was very annoyed that we couldn't divine her order. Her passenger sat silently throughout the whole affair. That's just today. I'm going to go take a nap now, but maybe later I'll recount the tale of 'pee guy', possibly the best/worst retail story I've got. __________________ I wake up in the morning more tired than before I slept I get through cryin' and I'm sadder than before I wept I get through thinkin' now, and the thoughts have left my head I get through speakin' and I can't remember, not a word that I said - Ben Harper, Show Me A Little Shame

03-17-2006, 11:04 AM	#45 (permalink)
cowudders14 Bringer of good Moos... Location: Midlands, UK	Possibly my best story comes from when I worked in a petrol station. 6 pumps. It was quite busy and all pumps were in use with a queue down the road. I'm in high speed mode but still being careful and making sure I look at every customer before authorising their pump. I'm glad I did. On pump 4 was a guy, leaning on his car, holding the nozzle in the same hand as a lit cigarette, and chatting on his mobile with the other hand. Instead of starting his pump I quickly stopped all other pumps in the station and fired up the PA. On all pumps. "Would the man on pump 4 please extinguish his cigarette and switch off his mobile phone. I apologise to everyone else who has just had their pump stopped. When it is safe again I'll re-start them. This guy then started yelling and waving at me, and calling me every name under the sun. I think he got the message when I just ignored him, and the full shop and the full forecourt were all staring at him with a "stop delaying me you dimwit" face on. I fired up the PA again and repeated mostly the same thing, and he then threw the nozzle on the floor and drove out, tyres screeching, still on his mobile and still smoking! My colleague went out and checked the pump and I re-started the other pumps, while virtually everyone else burst out laughing! __________________ Moo! I'm mooey! Last edited by cowudders14; 03-17-2006 at 11:24 AM..

03-17-2006, 11:24 AM	#46 (permalink)
Poppinjay You had me at hello Location: DC/Coastal VA	Darwin was sitting there, right next to Andrew the Death Angel. Arguing about who gets the credit. They didn't keep their eye on the ball. __________________ I think the Apocalypse is happening all around us. We go on eating desserts and watching TV. I know I do. I wish we were more capable of sustained passion and sustained resistance. We should be screaming and what we do is gossip. -Lydia Millet

03-17-2006, 12:35 PM	#47 (permalink)
Martian Young Crumudgeon Location: Canada	Right. So, pee guy. This happened at the other Tim Horton's I worked at. I did a variety of jobs for that store; I was basically the guy who filled in wherever I was needed. This particular night I was working the overnight shift. The store in question is right downtown, next door to a bar, down the street from a pool hall and a bit further down the street from three bars that are collectively known to be the seediest places in Oshawa. The gentleman in question was a regular. He was suspected to be homeless and clearly had some mental issues. On the night in question, he was also very, very drunk. We didn't especially like dealing with him. On this night he came in and started causing trouble. So, at the behest of the girl I was working with, I asked him to leave. He didn't put up too much of a fight, just walked out the front door. The store I was working at had a front vestibule. The layout was such that we couldn't see the area directly beside either of the doors into the store, but we could see the area immediately outside the vestibule. So we knew if someone was in there, but couldn't see the interior of the vestibule itself. Thus, we knew that when he walked out the door he was still in the vestibule. My co-worker was mopping the dining room, so she took a detour to kick him out of there. She poked her head into the vestibule, then ran back out. She immediately informed me that this charming gentleman was playing with himself in our vestibule. Well, she was wrong. He wasn't playing with himself. He was urinating. When he finished, he sauntered out, calm as could be and began walking casually down the street. I've no idea if the cops ever actually caught up with him. We called them all the same. After that, the task of cleaning the mess fell to me, unfortunately. And thus the legend of pee guy was born. __________________ I wake up in the morning more tired than before I slept I get through cryin' and I'm sadder than before I wept I get through thinkin' now, and the thoughts have left my head I get through speakin' and I can't remember, not a word that I said - Ben Harper, Show Me A Little Shame

03-17-2006, 03:35 PM	#49 (permalink)
Ace_O_Spades The Death Card Location: EH!?!?	the stupid idiot wanted a 2 inch slump on his batch of manhole covers... that's one of the most ridiculous things I've ever heard, you wouldn't need a 3 inch slump on anything that wasn't gonna be a foundation or a heavy load bearing beam... silly contractors. __________________ Feh.

03-16-2006, 09:15 PM	#41 (permalink)
viejo gringo Registered User Location: Deep South Texas	Friend : No, I have not payed any money to Norton since I got my PC in 2002...why??? does that have anything to do with the 1300 infected files you found??....VG Glad they have lots of Scotch...

03-17-2006, 02:59 PM	#48 (permalink)
blahblah454 Let's put a smile on that face Location: On the road...	I can't think of anything specific at the moment. But I just really hate it when you work somewhere that takes coupons and the freakin coupon has rules and such on it and they still try to argue with you. IT SAYS RIGHT ON THE PAPER WHAT YOU CAN AND CAN'T DO! I just get really angry with people who don't check over something that seems so common as that. ahhh well.

03-17-2006, 03:42 PM	#50 (permalink)
Halx Please touch this. Owner/Admin Location: Manhattan	Back when I used to do tech support, we had a few customers who used to call just to talk. One guy was paralyzed from the waist down.. sorta. I guess this guy was so lonely that he had to call his ISP's tech support to have some company. One day I got his call and wow.. he went on forever and ever about how he could get me drugs and about this sex 'therapist' that he had come over and perform sexual acts on him. Taking that call was one our out of my shift, so i wasn't particularly upset. We also had another dude who would call every week with the same problem. Something about his modem settings. He claimed that people broke into his house and changed his modem settings. Reading the account logs of customers like these was something we reserved for when it was really slow. Wow.. you start to wonder about the sanity of some people. __________________ You have found this post informative. -The Administrator [Don't Feed The Animals]

03-17-2006, 03:50 PM	#51 (permalink)
World's King Here Location: Denver City Denver	During my short lived career as an EMT... Lady hunched over on a coutch. With a look of great pain on her face. "I ripped my snatch." __________________ heavy is the head that wears the crown

03-17-2006, 09:45 PM	#52 (permalink)
ngdawg peekaboo Location: on the back, bitch	King wins __________________ Don't blame me. I didn't vote for either of'em.

03-18-2006, 02:10 AM	#53 (permalink)
Zyr Crazy Location: Hamilton, NZ	If win is the right word. __________________ "Oh, irony! Oh, no, no, we don't get that here. See, uh, people ski topless here while smoking dope, so irony's not really a high priority. We haven't had any irony here since about, uh, '83 when I was the only practitioner of it, and I stopped because I was tired of being stared at." Omnia mutantu, nos et mutamur in illis. All things change, and we change with them. - Neil Gaiman, Marvel 1602

03-18-2006, 09:44 AM	#54 (permalink)
Poloboy Insane Location: Canada	While working at a pool as a lifeguard, a woman walked up and informed me that "the pool deck is quite slippery when it gets wet." Holding my tongue, all I said was "Yeah, better be careful." She didn't seem satisfied with this response so she then told me that "you all should do something about that." Yeah...ok. Let me go get a few towels and dry up the pool deck for you lady.

03-18-2006, 01:10 PM	#55 (permalink)
rhaevyn Insane Location: Pittsburgh, PA	I was debating posting this, because it's not really something ridiculous I've heard from a customer, but here it is: I worked at an ice cream shop for a year, and yes, there were times when customers would pay for small things with just coins. However, there was one time when this big family, who spoke very little English, came to our window and ordered a lot of ice cream sundaes, totaling around $35.00. Yep, they paid entirely in coins; not even quarters, it was mostly nickels and dimes. We were very busy that night, so we had to bring a couple people in from the back room, not only to help complete the order, but also to help count the money so that we could get to the other customers quickly. Thankfully, that only happened once. __________________ ~Alex~ You've come far, and though you're far from the end, you don't mind where you are, 'cause you know where you've been.