pan6467

OK most here know how much I love my job and what I do. But everyone, even those who love their jobs have issues.

So here's mine:

I am an addictions counselor, I even have professional letters after my name. I love helping people, because trust me I don't do this job for the money.

Anyway, I lead groups and in doing so, I believe the best way to develop trust is by self disclosure. I hide nothing from my past whether in group, on here, in a relationship whatever. Hell, I even told my parents when I did coke.

So last week, I did the self disclosure, told about my addiction to gambling and how addiction is addiction and the only way to overcome it is to find something to believe in and hold onto faith that life gets better.

Well, it turns out a client believes he knew me from my past. (No way he could have but.... ok). Said client got a phone call from someone he believed didn't know he was there, didn't know his last name and he was avoiding.

This person happened to be a bookie, who happens to live in the same town as me.

So the client files a grievance saying I ratted him out to the guy. Even though, he admits to having quite a few people know where he is and that would also know his bookie and could tell said bookie the client was in treatment.

Besides being totally false, there are several issues that show there is no way this could be true.

1) I only used 1 bookie my entire life, 20 years ago in college and that was a 1 time shot.

2) I was a poker/horses gambler.... I never really bet on sports, it was too unpredictable and I could not change the outcome, so to me it was like the lottery or slots.... not fun. (True with horses you can't change the results but there was something about betting on the ponies I truly loved).

3) I never met the client, I have no idea even how to find a bookie, and I would not risk my job to turn anyone over.

All those aspects and a few more (such as my character, my morals, how I have reacted to other clients, etc) should be enough. Guess not.

Now comes the investigation of my ethics and my career.

I have no problem with knowing I'll come out of this in probably greater shape than I started. My reputation and respect from my peers is unsurpassed, they know I am damn good at what I do and that I love the job.

But this incident will make it hard to self disclose anymore and since self disclosure is a very important part of my way to help and treat, I fear this may affect the way I am able to help.

__________________
I just love people who use the excuse "I use/do this because I LOVE the feeling/joy/happiness it brings me" and expect you to be ok with that as you watch them destroy their life blindly following. My response is, "I like to put forks in an eletrical socket, just LOVE that feeling, can't ever get enough of it, so will you let me put this copper fork in that electric socket?"

ratbastid

Self-disclosure is always risky, in any circumstance. One incident of the risk actually turning into threat doesn't invalidate all the great results you've achieved. Let this incident confirm your work and the faith you have in your techniques.

Toaster126

Don't let the bad apple discourage you from apples. Or something like that.

I respect what you do, and the world needs more people like you. Keep your chin up.

__________________
"The question isn't who is going to let me, it's who is going to stop me." (Ayn Rand)
"The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers." (M. Scott Peck)

raeanna74

I wish you the best and hope this problem doesn't last long.

I wonder if the guy just felt too guilty about what he was doing and so you became his 'scapegoat'. There's my unprofessional analysis anyway.

You deserve a pat on the back for what you are doing and how you go about it. We need more people out there who love their work.

__________________
"Always learn the rules so that you can break them properly." Dalai Lama
My Karma just ran over your Dogma.

msh58

that would definitely put me on the defensive also, I would just shut down all self disclusure after something like that.

hoping you don't though, even if it means paying for it with an investigation every now and then. Think the field you're in needs people like you.

good luck this time around, hoping you have more if thats what it takes to help these people. You seem to be a good judge of that. take care.

percy

I don't see the problem. Have the phone company provide a list of all calls out or in to see if the person you were supposed to have spoken with can be traced. Even sign a petition (oath) stating you never spoke to the person you are accused of speaking to.

I'm assuming the client phone lines and the office lines are seperate numbers so it shouldn't be a big deal. Could be the client is trying to transfer blame so as not to face his addiction responsibly but I'm not qualified to make that assessment.

highthief

Are there not other ways to counsel other than by self-disclosure that are effective? Surely not every counsellor uses that technique?

Not saying you should abandon it, but if it is going to make you uncomfortable or cause a lot of grief, I imagine there are other options.

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Si vis pacem parabellum.

Rodney

I agree with several others; don't let one bad experience stop you from doing something you believe is truly beneficial.

I think the guy who filed the grievance is in bad shape, has a lot of problems, and is still at the stage for wanting to blame somebody else for some or all of them. So he's a damaged person flailing around for any excuse to make some of his problems "not his fault." And you happen to be one.

Stand up, get through this. Shake his hand and give him a hug. Tell him, and the people you work for, that you look forward to working with him when you get this all cleared up. And mean it.

Poppinjay

The guy is still in recovery, right? It probably doesn’t surprise you that he’s doing this.

One of the things about having suffered the same kind of difficulties is that you can spot the same behaviour a mile away.

You’ll come through it cleaner, with more respect. You’ve disclosed.

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I think the Apocalypse is happening all around us. We go on eating desserts and watching TV. I know I do. I wish we were more capable of sustained passion and sustained resistance. We should be screaming and what we do is gossip. -Lydia Millet