In addition to any and all punishment he may receive, I'm pretty sure at least some time should be spent making him live under something this demanding and intolerable... at least for a while.

I am appalled at this, though not strictly shocked. People do crazy, often hurtful things to other people and I'd much rather focus on keeping my relationships unlike this as opposed to focusing on similar situations.

Well, looks like someone forgot to take his crazy pills.

What is really scary is that it has nothing to do withthe guy being insecure it is just a set of orders to be followed that seem whimiscal. A bit of Karma there he now follows other life style rules.

Child porn WTF.

It sounds perfect,If I had a woman to do my will, mind you you would get bored, part of sexual excitement can be the randomness of it.


I have to ask who if presented with that would not laugh and say F***k off.

Honestly, there are some women out there... men too actually.. that believe any man/woman is better than no man/woman at all and will put up with a lot of crap in said relationship, because he/she says that he/she loves her/him.

But I also think that everyone has a breaking point... and eventually you say enough's enough... too bad this woman didn't do that before there were children involved..

Whoa, Lucky she didn't sign it.

Guy needs some graphic design lessons... amongst other things.

He did kidnap her, rape her three times, beat her, and downloaded child pornography. After knowing that, I'm close to as horrified.

Before knowing that, this sounded like every 5th case on Divorce Court. There are a lot of fucked up guys who have merged kinky behaviour with a strict, religious upbringing to come up with some seriously wack ideas on marriage.
And there are some seriously fucked up women who are attracted to them.

I think it was the horror I recall you having in your original post to this, I assume before you edited? Can't recall exactly, but undoubtedly it was a knee jerk reaction of mine to some of the melodrama lately on the boards.

He's likely to have time ahead for all manner of learnin'.

There's nothing inherantly wrong with that contract--I know of couples that consensually enter into agreements like that with each other, and it's fulfilling and great for them both. It's a shame he couldn't have found a nice submissive girl to work his stuff out with. If only he had known himself well enough before he got married to have done that... Would have saved his poor wife a lot of suffering.

I'll never understand the sub/dom thing. Being that submissive seems more like something that needs counseling than encouragement. Dom/dom has always been more of my taste. :thumbsup:

Feel a bit guilty for laughing, but that was one of the funniest things I've read in a long time! :lol:

Yeah, it's not really my cup of tea either, but it certainly is what works for some people.

Shave every third day? Gawd, I can't go two days without :rolleyes:

I have to agree that it's not the silly contract when taken alone, it's the convoluted mindset of the idiot as a whole that makes this story what it is.

So, Shani, who is gonna wear the garters? :lol:

I'll say this, the time that he spent coming up with this contact, could have been better spent applying lube to himself.. How freakin' lazy is he that he won't even do his own lubing...

Given the many mentions of church attendance, I think this is a bit more off kilter than most. I really believe that if he had found a submissive girl who enjoyed this kind of life, he would have found her horribly sinful, especially since he allows good behaviour time out. If this were a workable situation for anybody, why would you need a good behaviour day so that you could do NONE of these things you're expected to do every day?

Let's go back to the fact that he kidnapped her, restrained her and raped her repeatedly, and beat her. Then a while after that, he was caught downloading pictures of children engaged in porn. How does this represent a relationship and mindset that could in any way be healthy?

There are plenty of lifestyle D/s couples who are religious. I don't see any contradiction there.

I don't know about those GBDs. Maybe he put those there in an attempt to make the agreement pallatable to her?

I'm just saying... I think there's a chance it might not have come to that if he had happened to hook up with somebody with whom he could have worked out these issues. Not like I know anything about anything here. My only point is, there ARE couples who consensually enter into arrangements very much like the one described in this document, and being frustrated in that avenue might have led to some of the places this guy went.

Me either. He just seems batshit insane religious.

As for the rest, I respectfully disagree. I don't think the way to appease a tyrant is to submit to him until he gets it out of his system.

I know next to nothing about the whole dominate/submissive arrangement, but I've always heard there were supposed to be control words to make sure it doesn't go to far. This guy obviously didn't have those, or didn't care.

I think two people could easily arrange this relationship and have it be happy one. This one appears to have been arranged by him, unsigned by her, enforced by him. I think he could have had all the subservient women in the world, and he still would have hunted for one who defied him. And given his recent arrest, it might have been a girl.

I realize its in vogue to make fun of religious people these days, unless of course its in the form of a Danish cartoon, but I think his being batshit insane has nothing to do with religion.

Can they put the woman in jail too then?

nope. i only edited to add a link. That's it Ustwo :)

And i know you well enough now to know how you react, i was only providing a rebuttal... no worries :icare:

:)

sweetpea

Let me re-phrase, he's batshit insane and using portions of his religion to enact his insanity.

One wonders if he was always like this, in which case she's been victimized for 9 years, or did something happen that sent this nutjob off the deep end.

This is why we have things like the National Domestic Violence hotline. You can't get away from these sickos without help. She's lucky to be alive.

my favorite thing about this is the fake legalese he used to write it.

...and now it's evidence in a real court case! at least it wasn't a total bust.

Thank you for pointing that out

For anyone who would like to know more about the National D.V. hotline or anyone who might need to make that phone call themselves:

1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
1-800-787-3224 (TTY)

http://www.ndvh.org/

"Break the Silence... Make the Call."

Sweetpea

Hmmm. I'd say that a good 75-80% of that "contract" describes the relationship Grace and I have. The difference, of course, being that for us, it's entirely consensual, and no contract of any kind is needed because I like our relationship to be this way. Heck, it was my idea in the first place and it took Grace awhile to warm up to it, though she does seem to enjoy it a lot more now that she's relaxed in the role of the dominant partner. It's also a more subtle thing; I treat Grace's suggestions as if they were orders, and she knows that that's how I'm going to interpret them, so there's actually no need to make any modifications for when we're around others. And my "reward days" tend to involve a good deal less freedom rather than more :).

IMO, the problem here isn't with the contract or the terms therein, it's in the lack of consent. It's like sex or bondage. If it's consensual, with both parties going along fully from the outset, it's cool. If forced on the victim, as seems to be the case here, it is an extreme form of emotional abuse.

Gilda

He had no respect for his wife or his children to ask for or engage in the things he chose to. Respect was completely absent. Sad.

Does anyone have any actual evidence that they weren't in a consentual D/s relationship for years? Maybe she got tired of it and found it difficult to relate this to him and ended up just going to the police instead?

Before you all jump on me for not joining the chants of "oh, that poor woman", what would you be saying if the genders in this case were reversed?

And no, I'm not saying there was nothing wrong with the guy, but I think a lot of you are assuming way too much.

I bet that Cheney actually has a 'Presidential Expectations Pact' like this with George W.

This thing looks like it was written by an adolescent with the silly picture font headers and erratic sentence structure. It looks like it was meant to be some kind of a joke.

Maybe it's just me, but can someone remind me what exactly is the problem here?

While the circumstances surrounding this aren't humorous, the contract itself, is. Under the right conditions, I think my wife would go along with 80-90% of this (while she can negotiate icy hills and stairs in ski boots, my wife has never managed to figure out heels).

If I whipped out a contract like this, it would be the last thing I'd be whipping out for some time. If she didn't die of laughing on her way out the door, I'd be having John Bobbitt nightmares for a month.

he kidapped, raped and beat his wife following years of emotional abuse, he is in jail now. This 'contract' was posted as evidence in his trial.

Still wondering what is wrong here? :confused:

sweetpea

I would also like to note that this thread took some different turns that i did not expect and that i learned from.

sweetpea

It's a tricky one to call. I mean, on what I see here, it looks like it might have started out as a fairly standard sub/dom interaction, which is hardly outlandish in these sexually enlightenificated days. I mean it's a fine line between being submissive and being abused, the main standard being 'consent'.

I notice there's not much noise coming from the wife's camp, which makes me wonder how much of this she was originally agreeable to. They were together nine years, you say?

Still the whole contract deal makes him look like a pretty pathetic, whiny, needy dom. He ought to have tried a bit less hard. The key to domination is subtlety. ;)

Mine was an attempt at sarcasm, the very lowest form of humor. I'm like that...

It's common for a victim in an abuse case to be much less outspoken. The longer they've been in the relationship the less outspoken they will usually be. This is because they've been 'programmed' not to complain or speak up. They're emotionally scarred and it's probably best that they heal their wounds first because jumping into the battle once again.

Is this guy currently out on parole?? It would explain even more why she might not be vocal in order to avoid raising his ire and endangering herself.

Just curious: What is it that you found that you didn't expect in this thread?

oh okay.

then put /sarcasm... otherwise i can't tell :)

sweetpea

I was so busy taking the Domestic Violence perspective on this situation (well, i *do have a social work degree, so that is natural because of my training) That i failed to see how the contract part of this situation could easily be part of a happy and fulfilling relationship between a dom./sub. couple. It surprised me that i didn't at once see how this contract could be used for that purpose.. since i've always been personally interested in dom./sub. roleplay, but i've never been a part of a relationship like that, and do to my own experience limitations, i was blind to that perspective in this.

i guess it pointed out to me, how personal perspective and personal experiences truly affect one's social 'filter' of perception.

sweetpea