Repulsive "Wifely Expectations" pact
 

HERE IS A NEW LINKY FROM NBC news on this story for those who think this is fake
Here is another source for the story from NBC

http://www.nbc4.tv/family/6812175/detail.html


http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive...contract1.html

Here is the link to the contract this horrific man made his wife live by and the contract below.
http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive...contract1.html

http://home.comcast.net/~ashleyandburt/1.gif

http://home.comcast.net/~ashleyandburt/2.gif

http://home.comcast.net/~ashleyandburt/3.gif

http://home.comcast.net/~ashleyandburt/4.gif

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I don't know what to say... except that i'm truly sickened.
The emotional abuse and other abuses that this woman suffered i cannot imagine. :(

sweetpea

I shouldnt make light of this....I really really shouldnt, because I know that this must have been awful for a woman that wasnt willingly living a "submissive" lifestyle. It makes me sick to read it knowing that this wasnt a "consentual" thing.

but....I think I will rewrite this and make it effective for Dave hehehehe

Is this for real?

The good news: His owner in prison was provided the same documentation, and the general population was informed of his child-porn charges...

This shows what happens when sickos run loose over the vulnerable.

I love the fonts for the headers.

So the guy was nuts, BFD, at least he didn't kill anyone. I'm far less shocked and horrified by this than a guy who kills his wife.

I saw this on TSG. I should have popped some popcorn, this was truly entertainment. This guy is a mega sicko. The "GBD" was like "DKP" in Molten Core runs in World of Warcraft. I couldn't believe it.

I would have laughed and thrown it in his face, then walked out on my 3" heels into the real light of day. That's sick.

well duh ;) granted, of course it's worse to have killed someone. But that does not take away from how awful this situation was.

I was not asking you to compare this to killing his wife...

sweetpea

Shani... that's funny. I have no problem with people who are willingly in such situations ;)

sweetpea

It's so awful that it's hard to take seriously. I can't tell you what I would have seriously considered doing to this man, lest you be forced to testify against me. :)

Perv's sicko pact

they were married for 9 years.. and had 2 children... at what point did the contact come into play?

It take 2 to Tango and all.

I'm guessing my wife would be OK with the first paragraph. After that it's hard to tell if she'd be laughing at me or leaving me, probably both.

Obviously there's no boilerplate for this kind of thing, so Mr. Frey obviously spent a lot of time and energy writing this. It's actually a much better document than what I originally expected, from a legal standpoint. There aren't any obvious errors beyond the fact that no sane person should ever expect it to be honored like a legal contract.

I wonder if he'll be the bitch for the Aryan Brotherhood or Latin Kings in the joint.... Either way, I'm hoping that he'll think fondly of the paragraph about lubrication when he's sentenced to pound-him-in-the-ass prison. Good luck, Mr. Frey.

Well, i see where you are coming from with that logic...

However, in domestic violence situations, and i am openly making the assumption that this marriage was a clear cut DV situation, as it falls into that criteria... where the self-esteem of the abused individual, (in this case his wife) becomes so distored, they feel they are so worthless, they often fear leaving the relationship.
Depression often accompanies these types of situation, so those might have been reasons she stayed for the duration of the 9 years?

sweetpea

Good question Mal, that information was not given. :confused:

sweetpea

It says she "never signed" the contract. I'm guessing she never had to participate in it. That's good.

I would feel sorry for this woman and I do in a way, but she stayed and put up with it. There is always a way out. Maybe she had no family and/or friends to help her. Maybe she is a glutton for punishment. I don't know but that contract seems like too much of a hassle. That guy has major insecurities and a skewed vision of relationships. Now myself, I shave everyday, I own heels, and I sleep naked. Most of the things come naturally in a relationship without forcing it through a contract.

I'm with Fredweena on this one except I would put out a cigarette on his contract too as I stepped on it with my heels and walked out in my thigh highs and mini skirt. :p

Although that's easier said than done when you are tangled up in an abusive relationship. This is why you should *really* get to know the person before committing.

^^ So true.

sweetpea

This guy should have his sentence given to him by the judge in a similar format.

I seriously hope the wife gets some counseling. While she didn't sign the contract, the fact that she put up with a man this fucked up shows she has some serious issues of her own to sort out.

Are you certain this is for real? I can't seem to find it anywhere else that doesn't have a link back to The Smoking Gun.

I know there are some nuts out there like this. What I can't believe is that the woman stuck with him for any time at all. Though I know some do/would.

I am REALLY hoping that they never had any kids. That's why I went searching, to see if I could learn more about the situation. I cannot imagine the trauma of living with a father like this. I hope the wife gets 100% of the property at least AND most of all I hope that she finds a guy who has a lot more respect for women.

Shani - your situation does not result from a lack of respect but from an abundance of it, I believe. This guy was the opposite of anyone in your kind of relationship.

Funny how it's sick just because you don't understand it. In a D/s relationship, many of the above would be pretty common.

He wanted a submissive... his mistake, which was very wrong was applying his ideals to a person who didn't agree.

(and no, i wouldn't treat a woman like that- just being informative.)

Here is another link about it. http://www.nbc4.tv/family/6812175/detail.html

Sometimes I wonder what can go on in people's heads when they are in situations like this...........both his head and her head. :o

Well, yeah. But most dom/sub relationships are consentual. What makes this man fucked up is he sought to dominate regardless of the wants of the the sub. Also, this needs to be placed in context. The man allegedly was involved in child pornography and kidnapped his own wife. Coupled with the contract he sought, this makes for a fucked up man.

The difference between a dom and a fucked up man like this is the whole consentual thing. Ergo, this man is fucked up.

An organized wacko, isn't that an oxymoron? I smell hoax.

Sadly, there are two daughters... and this problem seemed to come to a head when the mother had the audacity to take the girls to church... Oh the horror...

I'm surprised there was nothing about weight in there. I've heard of people getting pre-nups with weight restrictions, sex acts, and some other interesting things.

I found a few of those requests ok, most were a little dominate and weird though.

I'm sure a lot of women would have a problem if the man they married was a doctor but decided teaching high school was better. They would have to change their lifestyle and when she tells people what he does for a living, it doesn't sound as good.

That brings up the question: Are we expected to change to fit who our partners ideal mate would be? Or should they love you even if you stopped bathing for weeks, started yelling and nagging, and didn't want to have sex?

Most people would break up with someone if their personality changed, I would think.

I'm very curious about the husband's family background. How was he raised? What was his Parent's marriage like? Does have any siblings?

Also, what on earth were the circumstances of their courtship?

Alas, questions that we won't have answered.

heeheehee...

thats pretty screwy...


would make a great april fools joke for someone tho

LOL

That is the funniest/scariest thing I have ever read. It boggles the mind that there are people out there who actually think of something like that. That dude is a serious wackjob.

Sounds like something one of those psycho freakshow Mormons would do. Some of them are really out there.

Oh that is the worst part of this. Now, unless they manage to imprison this guy, the mother will have to deal with him, fight him for custody, or fear him kidnapping her daughters. I cannot imagine the fear in the girls and mother's hearts if this guy is truely released on bail. He's nuts and unpredicable. What makes it seem worse is that he doesn't beleive he did anything wrong.

I can't really imagine getting a better relationship out of a contract like that. Prenups are bad enough for relationships.

Fake!

Supposing it is legit, did anyone else notice the amount of obvious grammatical errors? There is absolutely no way that I would be pushed around by such a dumb fuck.

/me looks around for Rod Serling, 'cause if he isn't in that guy's world he must be in mine.

I'm hoping it's a hoax but if it isn't, wow.

I'll take a guess. His Dad is a controlling perfectionist. He's the type of Dad that wants his son to win every sporting event and gets violent with the ref/other Dads at the game. His Dad has what seems to be a perfect marriage to his wife, who does everything he wants. The son was probably psychologically if not physically abused. Other siblings don't matter too much, unless they are bragging about being in a great relationship, and he has to compete with them.

I have no idea about the dating process, but I bet she was attracted to him, and it's probably like every other abusive relationship out there.

Here's a video of Frey going to court on Friday (click the Most Popular tab and then look for the Man Accused of Kidnapping Wife video).

http://www.ketv.com/video/index.html

Hoax? I don't think so.

nope. Not fake, unfortunately. I know the photographer who worked the story. Met him at a seminar years ago. I didn't believe it either so I called him up and he confirmed.

Thanks for the link. Wow.

The contract had me laughing out loud initially but now I can't help but wonder at the guy's backstory. Upbringing, occupation, falls onto head, you name it.

I'd just have to say I'm speechless!!!

ummm...
excuse me, not a fake ... this guy is in jail right now.

Here is another source for the story from NBC

http://www.nbc4.tv/family/6812175/detail.html

just google his name... there are many stories on this.

sweetpea

Sad, just sad. I mean, it sounds great if you wanna be a sub. But damn, poor woman.

In addition to any and all punishment he may receive, I'm pretty sure at least some time should be spent making him live under something this demanding and intolerable... at least for a while.

I am appalled at this, though not strictly shocked. People do crazy, often hurtful things to other people and I'd much rather focus on keeping my relationships unlike this as opposed to focusing on similar situations.

Well, looks like someone forgot to take his crazy pills.

What is really scary is that it has nothing to do withthe guy being insecure it is just a set of orders to be followed that seem whimiscal. A bit of Karma there he now follows other life style rules.

Child porn WTF.

It sounds perfect,If I had a woman to do my will, mind you you would get bored, part of sexual excitement can be the randomness of it.


I have to ask who if presented with that would not laugh and say F***k off.

Honestly, there are some women out there... men too actually.. that believe any man/woman is better than no man/woman at all and will put up with a lot of crap in said relationship, because he/she says that he/she loves her/him.

But I also think that everyone has a breaking point... and eventually you say enough's enough... too bad this woman didn't do that before there were children involved..

Whoa, Lucky she didn't sign it.

Guy needs some graphic design lessons... amongst other things.

He did kidnap her, rape her three times, beat her, and downloaded child pornography. After knowing that, I'm close to as horrified.

Before knowing that, this sounded like every 5th case on Divorce Court. There are a lot of fucked up guys who have merged kinky behaviour with a strict, religious upbringing to come up with some seriously wack ideas on marriage.
And there are some seriously fucked up women who are attracted to them.

I think it was the horror I recall you having in your original post to this, I assume before you edited? Can't recall exactly, but undoubtedly it was a knee jerk reaction of mine to some of the melodrama lately on the boards.

He's likely to have time ahead for all manner of learnin'.

There's nothing inherantly wrong with that contract--I know of couples that consensually enter into agreements like that with each other, and it's fulfilling and great for them both. It's a shame he couldn't have found a nice submissive girl to work his stuff out with. If only he had known himself well enough before he got married to have done that... Would have saved his poor wife a lot of suffering.

I'll never understand the sub/dom thing. Being that submissive seems more like something that needs counseling than encouragement. Dom/dom has always been more of my taste. :thumbsup:

Feel a bit guilty for laughing, but that was one of the funniest things I've read in a long time! :lol:

Yeah, it's not really my cup of tea either, but it certainly is what works for some people.

Shave every third day? Gawd, I can't go two days without :rolleyes:

I have to agree that it's not the silly contract when taken alone, it's the convoluted mindset of the idiot as a whole that makes this story what it is.

So, Shani, who is gonna wear the garters? :lol:

I'll say this, the time that he spent coming up with this contact, could have been better spent applying lube to himself.. How freakin' lazy is he that he won't even do his own lubing...

Given the many mentions of church attendance, I think this is a bit more off kilter than most. I really believe that if he had found a submissive girl who enjoyed this kind of life, he would have found her horribly sinful, especially since he allows good behaviour time out. If this were a workable situation for anybody, why would you need a good behaviour day so that you could do NONE of these things you're expected to do every day?

Let's go back to the fact that he kidnapped her, restrained her and raped her repeatedly, and beat her. Then a while after that, he was caught downloading pictures of children engaged in porn. How does this represent a relationship and mindset that could in any way be healthy?

There are plenty of lifestyle D/s couples who are religious. I don't see any contradiction there.

I don't know about those GBDs. Maybe he put those there in an attempt to make the agreement pallatable to her?

I'm just saying... I think there's a chance it might not have come to that if he had happened to hook up with somebody with whom he could have worked out these issues. Not like I know anything about anything here. My only point is, there ARE couples who consensually enter into arrangements very much like the one described in this document, and being frustrated in that avenue might have led to some of the places this guy went.

Me either. He just seems batshit insane religious.

As for the rest, I respectfully disagree. I don't think the way to appease a tyrant is to submit to him until he gets it out of his system.

I know next to nothing about the whole dominate/submissive arrangement, but I've always heard there were supposed to be control words to make sure it doesn't go to far. This guy obviously didn't have those, or didn't care.

I think two people could easily arrange this relationship and have it be happy one. This one appears to have been arranged by him, unsigned by her, enforced by him. I think he could have had all the subservient women in the world, and he still would have hunted for one who defied him. And given his recent arrest, it might have been a girl.

I realize its in vogue to make fun of religious people these days, unless of course its in the form of a Danish cartoon, but I think his being batshit insane has nothing to do with religion.

Can they put the woman in jail too then?

nope. i only edited to add a link. That's it Ustwo :)

And i know you well enough now to know how you react, i was only providing a rebuttal... no worries :icare:

:)

sweetpea

Let me re-phrase, he's batshit insane and using portions of his religion to enact his insanity.

One wonders if he was always like this, in which case she's been victimized for 9 years, or did something happen that sent this nutjob off the deep end.

This is why we have things like the National Domestic Violence hotline. You can't get away from these sickos without help. She's lucky to be alive.

my favorite thing about this is the fake legalese he used to write it.

...and now it's evidence in a real court case! at least it wasn't a total bust.

Thank you for pointing that out

For anyone who would like to know more about the National D.V. hotline or anyone who might need to make that phone call themselves:

1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
1-800-787-3224 (TTY)

http://www.ndvh.org/

"Break the Silence... Make the Call."

Sweetpea

Hmmm. I'd say that a good 75-80% of that "contract" describes the relationship Grace and I have. The difference, of course, being that for us, it's entirely consensual, and no contract of any kind is needed because I like our relationship to be this way. Heck, it was my idea in the first place and it took Grace awhile to warm up to it, though she does seem to enjoy it a lot more now that she's relaxed in the role of the dominant partner. It's also a more subtle thing; I treat Grace's suggestions as if they were orders, and she knows that that's how I'm going to interpret them, so there's actually no need to make any modifications for when we're around others. And my "reward days" tend to involve a good deal less freedom rather than more :).

IMO, the problem here isn't with the contract or the terms therein, it's in the lack of consent. It's like sex or bondage. If it's consensual, with both parties going along fully from the outset, it's cool. If forced on the victim, as seems to be the case here, it is an extreme form of emotional abuse.

Gilda

He had no respect for his wife or his children to ask for or engage in the things he chose to. Respect was completely absent. Sad.

Does anyone have any actual evidence that they weren't in a consentual D/s relationship for years? Maybe she got tired of it and found it difficult to relate this to him and ended up just going to the police instead?

Before you all jump on me for not joining the chants of "oh, that poor woman", what would you be saying if the genders in this case were reversed?

And no, I'm not saying there was nothing wrong with the guy, but I think a lot of you are assuming way too much.

I bet that Cheney actually has a 'Presidential Expectations Pact' like this with George W.

This thing looks like it was written by an adolescent with the silly picture font headers and erratic sentence structure. It looks like it was meant to be some kind of a joke.

Maybe it's just me, but can someone remind me what exactly is the problem here?

While the circumstances surrounding this aren't humorous, the contract itself, is. Under the right conditions, I think my wife would go along with 80-90% of this (while she can negotiate icy hills and stairs in ski boots, my wife has never managed to figure out heels).

If I whipped out a contract like this, it would be the last thing I'd be whipping out for some time. If she didn't die of laughing on her way out the door, I'd be having John Bobbitt nightmares for a month.

he kidapped, raped and beat his wife following years of emotional abuse, he is in jail now. This 'contract' was posted as evidence in his trial.

Still wondering what is wrong here? :confused:

sweetpea

I would also like to note that this thread took some different turns that i did not expect and that i learned from.

sweetpea

It's a tricky one to call. I mean, on what I see here, it looks like it might have started out as a fairly standard sub/dom interaction, which is hardly outlandish in these sexually enlightenificated days. I mean it's a fine line between being submissive and being abused, the main standard being 'consent'.

I notice there's not much noise coming from the wife's camp, which makes me wonder how much of this she was originally agreeable to. They were together nine years, you say?

Still the whole contract deal makes him look like a pretty pathetic, whiny, needy dom. He ought to have tried a bit less hard. The key to domination is subtlety. ;)

Mine was an attempt at sarcasm, the very lowest form of humor. I'm like that...

It's common for a victim in an abuse case to be much less outspoken. The longer they've been in the relationship the less outspoken they will usually be. This is because they've been 'programmed' not to complain or speak up. They're emotionally scarred and it's probably best that they heal their wounds first because jumping into the battle once again.

Is this guy currently out on parole?? It would explain even more why she might not be vocal in order to avoid raising his ire and endangering herself.

Just curious: What is it that you found that you didn't expect in this thread?

oh okay.

then put /sarcasm... otherwise i can't tell :)

sweetpea

I was so busy taking the Domestic Violence perspective on this situation (well, i *do have a social work degree, so that is natural because of my training) That i failed to see how the contract part of this situation could easily be part of a happy and fulfilling relationship between a dom./sub. couple. It surprised me that i didn't at once see how this contract could be used for that purpose.. since i've always been personally interested in dom./sub. roleplay, but i've never been a part of a relationship like that, and do to my own experience limitations, i was blind to that perspective in this.

i guess it pointed out to me, how personal perspective and personal experiences truly affect one's social 'filter' of perception.

sweetpea

Maybe the inmate that makes Travis his bitch will give him a similar contract. "Thou shall allow me to rape you anally when I want it, and how I want it, and you will be enthusiastic about it, else lose a GBD. Now bend over."

well, although initially i would want revenge and to wish such horror on someone like this man... i still wouldn't want it to happen to him, although i know it might, i still feel compassion for him for the abuse he will most likely suffer, maybe i am too soft.
That kind of abuse (or any abuse for that matter) still remains something i would wish on no one, not even my worst enemy.

sweetpea

Exactly...and don't you think you'd have that conversation before you tied the knot (and I mean from both sides of the aisle -- he to her and vice versa)? I'm not blaming this woman but it makes me wonder if this was a sudden mood shift on his part after she married this nut job. Were there no signs of something out of line for her before they were married? And to be married for nine years....wow.

After reading it, there's only a few parts in it that I would consider downright cruel as long as the wife agreed to it. Is the guy a bastard for attempting to force it on his wife? Yeah, but the actual contract isn't as NEARLY as bad as everyone is saying if you're into that sort of stuff. If you think about it, if there was a woman that was willing to this contract, he and his wife would theoretically never have an argument and never have marital strife. The contract is designed to prevent any negative situations or any comments that would hurt the husband.

Sure, it's sick, but I personally think there's a different theory behind simply being a controlling sex maniac as many are making him out to be...in between the lines is a simple contract that would prevent arguments that make marriage suck. This guy just took it waay too far.

Negative comments or complaints when said in a nice way can lead to positive improvements in a marriage. This contract basically deleted any of the necessary communication for a good marriage. Even in a D/s relationship there needs to be a lot of communication from both parties with regards to both positive and negative subjects.

The contract was written by someone who was very insecure and selfish. Not by a good Dom.

certainly a minimum sentence of 20 years will be a appropriate in this case.... I think its even crazier that there were apparently kids being bought up in this situation...

I dont really think I'd get any pleasure from the idea of him being sexually assaulted in jail. I really dont want a world where anyone is the victim of things like that, or the perpetrator. All people are entitled to a degree of protection, even the worst. I think the argument though would have to be for his total isolation from society, becaise he clearly is dangerous and abusive... hopefully within his confinement he will be re-educated to the degree that he can not be a threat to women when or if he is ever free again

Missing the point
 

It seems to me that a number of people have taken an overly simplistic view here.

My key issues are

a) A written piece of paper describing sexual activities is not evidence
of anything. It may simply be a fantasy. Fantasy does not equal
reality. Many people write erotic stories and/or enjoy describing
situations which never occur - and which they have no intention
of actually participating in.

b) If the woman went along with one or more of his fantasies, or shared
them, this too is ok.

c) Neither of the first two points are relevant to whether or not he raped
her (in my mind). If he raped her or assaulted her, that is a crime
pure and simple. The document is not relevant.

d) If she signed this... I doubt that it means anything. I don't know
law, but my understanding is that there are normally rights which
cannot be simply signed away. And signing under duress -
I'd assume that would make it unenforceable also.

(On the other hand, if such a document was enforceable in this
location - then it'd be grounds for some political lobbying. I'm saying
that the law should not allow slavery, which is what this would be)


To recap. This document seems irrelevant to the case. The moral question, in my view, is whether he raped and/or assaulted his wife. By this I mean, did he have sex with her or hurt her in a matter that she did not consent to at the time.

And... if she did not consent... did she make him aware of this?

If he is a Dominant, he's either new and/or inexperienced at it. One thing everyone is over looking is the fact that she never signed it, or agreed to it. And for those of us on the board familiar with the D/s lifestyle, you can't enforce a "contract" not agreed to and still try to pass it off as a D/s "contract".

Safe, Sane and CONSENSUAL... sounds like she didn't consent.

(Note: What is "Sane" for some, is absurd and totally insane for someone else. No one walks the path of this lifestyle exactly like someone else does.)

Ohh I'm sorry, but I just laughed my ass off over this.

Okay the only realy people I feel badly about are the children. Those kids should NEVER have been brough up in this type of relationship if the mother wasn't willing to be in it from the very first time she saw this letter. If she didn't like what was in the document from the start she should have been put on edge. Once her husband tried to enforce even ONE of the things she didn't agree with she should have up and left period. She stayed with him for 9 years and then had not one but two children with him, unacceptable. If your afraid of a given situation okay, but the adding of one of your children should turn on the mother bear response in your body, giving you more then enough strength to leave the situation.

It's like voluntary slavery! The American pubic never fails to live down to my lowest expectations.

This raises an interesting question.

Who produced the document in court. The lawyer(s) acting for the complainant, or the lawyer(s) acting for the defendant? Anybody know?

(I think that's the correct terminology yes?)

There are so many issues here it is difficult to keep track. This guy is a therapists nightmare. His preconceptions about the relationship between a husband and wife crosses into a concentual D/S relationship. Dom Subs usually have their moments when they act out their fantasy, and most times there is a "code word" used to stop the situation. Though it appears the dominant is in control, psychologically the sub has all of the control. Once they say the word, the incident stops, period. The sub allows the dom to do what they want until the word is said.

This on the other hand is like surfdom/ slavery. This is just nuts. He didn't want a relationship, he wanted a human sex toy. She wasn't allowed to talk to him about anything which might upset him. Unbelievable. There are women who feel they cannot get out a situation like this. I know some have said there is always a way out, and yes that is true. However, it is not easy to see the way out looking from the inside. I am curious as to whether this contract was enforced for the nine years or their marriage.

On top of everything, he was arrested for child porn, nice guy. I hope his wife and kids get the help they will desperately need to deal with all of this.

Oh sweet jebus! I'm speechless, what a nutjob!

Apparently not Freys either since it had to be shaved off every third day. :D

LOL... good catch....
:lol:

What is repulsive, is that this guy didn't ask his wife permission FIRST

should have walked OVER him in the 3" inch heels