Is a child capable of sexual harassment? - Page 2 - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

JustJess · 03-13-2006, 01:33 PM

There are differences between play and non-play. In my own experience, there is a difference in how the child in question reacts. Your instincts will go haywire when you hear them say certain things.. certain much-too-aware things. Certain ways of relating to adults and other children. There is just something OFF. I wish I could define it, but I don't have the correct terminology for it. It's just a matter of being wrong in some circumstances and not in others.

Mostly, innocent play will not involve more than looking, poking at, giggling sorts of things. Even in innocent play, one kid can react strongly/poorly, feeling uncomfortable. The other kid will learn to back off and not cross those boundaries. In non-innocent play, there is more intent behind it, and you'll recognize it if you're willing to. (Many of us would rather live in denial of reality, unfortunately.) It will make you uncomfortable and you won't even realize why immediately.

Anomaly_ · 03-13-2006, 11:19 PM

JustJess, your situation illustrates the difference between innocent play and sexual acting out in response to trauma. Child-on-child abuse is very common, and there is almost always an adult perpetrator that acts as a catalyst. Research has revealed that the wiring of an abused child's brain is actually altered. Not surprisingly, ostensible 'sexual' interaction among non-abused children is usually of the innocent variety that isn't like the skewed primitive response you describe.

ClostGoth · 03-14-2006, 06:08 AM

Speaking from personal experience... My kids are perfectly clueless. However, I have kept some kids (daycare) that were VERY aware sexually. If you pay attention to the child most of the time you can tell if they are acting out because they were exposed to inappropriate material, actually molested, or are just innocently more aware of their own sexuality. Some kids really are very senusual and will from an early age touch themselves and others experimentally. The ones you really have to watch out for are the ones who KNOW. I've seen kids as young as three hump things and mimic sex acts. When it comes accompanied with other behavior problems... THAT'S when I start to worry about their home life and the possibility of abuse.

Plaid13 · 03-14-2006, 10:19 AM

With stuff like this i say the first time the boy does it he should be yelled at and punished by the school in whatever they normaly do for basic little punk pranks. if he does it again and makes someone uncomfortable to go to school they should be thrown out of school. force them into homeschooling or to another school. Dosnt matter if its sexual harassment or not noone can really know that without knowing a whole lot about the boy and what hes been through in his life. But noone should be afraid to go to gradeschool because they fear someone might touch them the wrong way.

When i was in kindergarden and early grade school i used to get chased by girls at recess and get kissed and stuff and at the time i hated it but it never upset me to the point where i didnt want to go. it was just girls being icky. Wish they would still do that. Thats the kinda stuff kids should do. girls kissing boys boys looking up the girls skirt basicly innocent kid stuff. When they stick there hand in someone elses pants something is very wrong. If the kids parents didnt teach the kid not to do stuff like that maybe they shouldnt be allowed to have kids. and if the parents taught or showed the kid how to do that.... they should be hung and someone should get the kid alot of professional help. Kids should just know better then to stick there hand in someone elses pants unless he was giving her a wegie or something innocent and annoying like that.

On a side note. the japaniese have a disturbing kids prank that wouldnt be acceptable at all here but is perfectly normal there. Its called kancho and it makes a wegie look pleasant. The kid takes both hands and puts them together with two fingers pointing forward and.... rams it up someones butt. Think what people would do if that was done in the US.

03-13-2006, 01:33 PM	#41 (permalink)
JustJess Unencapsulated Location: Kittyville	There are differences between play and non-play. In my own experience, there is a difference in how the child in question reacts. Your instincts will go haywire when you hear them say certain things.. certain much-too-aware things. Certain ways of relating to adults and other children. There is just something OFF. I wish I could define it, but I don't have the correct terminology for it. It's just a matter of being wrong in some circumstances and not in others. Mostly, innocent play will not involve more than looking, poking at, giggling sorts of things. Even in innocent play, one kid can react strongly/poorly, feeling uncomfortable. The other kid will learn to back off and not cross those boundaries. In non-innocent play, there is more intent behind it, and you'll recognize it if you're willing to. (Many of us would rather live in denial of reality, unfortunately.) It will make you uncomfortable and you won't even realize why immediately. __________________ My heart knows me better than I know myself, so I'm gonna let it do all the talkin'.

03-13-2006, 11:19 PM	#42 (permalink)
Anomaly_ Insane	JustJess, your situation illustrates the difference between innocent play and sexual acting out in response to trauma. Child-on-child abuse is very common, and there is almost always an adult perpetrator that acts as a catalyst. Research has revealed that the wiring of an abused child's brain is actually altered. Not surprisingly, ostensible 'sexual' interaction among non-abused children is usually of the innocent variety that isn't like the skewed primitive response you describe.

03-14-2006, 06:08 AM	#43 (permalink)
ClostGoth Crazy Location: Omaha, NE	Speaking from personal experience... My kids are perfectly clueless. However, I have kept some kids (daycare) that were VERY aware sexually. If you pay attention to the child most of the time you can tell if they are acting out because they were exposed to inappropriate material, actually molested, or are just innocently more aware of their own sexuality. Some kids really are very senusual and will from an early age touch themselves and others experimentally. The ones you really have to watch out for are the ones who KNOW. I've seen kids as young as three hump things and mimic sex acts. When it comes accompanied with other behavior problems... THAT'S when I start to worry about their home life and the possibility of abuse.

03-14-2006, 10:19 AM	#44 (permalink)
Plaid13 I want a Plaid crayon	With stuff like this i say the first time the boy does it he should be yelled at and punished by the school in whatever they normaly do for basic little punk pranks. if he does it again and makes someone uncomfortable to go to school they should be thrown out of school. force them into homeschooling or to another school. Dosnt matter if its sexual harassment or not noone can really know that without knowing a whole lot about the boy and what hes been through in his life. But noone should be afraid to go to gradeschool because they fear someone might touch them the wrong way. When i was in kindergarden and early grade school i used to get chased by girls at recess and get kissed and stuff and at the time i hated it but it never upset me to the point where i didnt want to go. it was just girls being icky. Wish they would still do that. Thats the kinda stuff kids should do. girls kissing boys boys looking up the girls skirt basicly innocent kid stuff. When they stick there hand in someone elses pants something is very wrong. If the kids parents didnt teach the kid not to do stuff like that maybe they shouldnt be allowed to have kids. and if the parents taught or showed the kid how to do that.... they should be hung and someone should get the kid alot of professional help. Kids should just know better then to stick there hand in someone elses pants unless he was giving her a wegie or something innocent and annoying like that. On a side note. the japaniese have a disturbing kids prank that wouldnt be acceptable at all here but is perfectly normal there. Its called kancho and it makes a wegie look pleasant. The kid takes both hands and puts them together with two fingers pointing forward and.... rams it up someones butt. Think what people would do if that was done in the US.