Cynthetiq

Wasn't selective, before you edited your post, it stated clearly and solely that the definition was describing and applied to political parties.

I didn't accuse you of being a bigot. I never stated your thoughts were bigoted.

I inquired about your definition and applied your rebuttal of someone's definition to Archie Bunker, not a skip, not a hop, not a jump, simple application of logic.

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Ustwo

There have been times I've been physically disgusted by things I've seen. When I was dissecting out a vein under the lungs on a cadaver in anatomy class on a man who died of lung cancer and I had to cut through the spongy calcified lung cancer tissue in order to reach it, I was close to retching. I don't think anyone here would fault me for it, it was reflexive.

When I see two males in a sexual act I get a like visceral reaction. Its not violently ill, like I was close to feeling with the dissection, but its a gut feeling of EWWW.

I am 'tolerant' of homosexuality and homosexuals, I am friends with and have patients who are, but the defining act of being a male homosexual makes me cringe when I see it.

Being tolerant doesn't mean you have to like something.

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docbungle

Look, I don't want to start a stupid argument over semantics, but it seemed to me as if you were saying something akin to:

I find homosexuality disgusting = I don't think Archie Bunker was a bigot.

Pray tell.

Or, put another way: because someone sees homosexuality as disgusting, they are unable to define bigotry, because they probably are one.

My political reference was an example of what bigotry is and what it isn't.

I don't see any simple, applied logic in your Archie Bunker analogy. But we just seem to be miscommunicating, and I'll leave it at that.

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analog

Seems like there's some "hate the practice, but not the person doing it" going on here, which is always very interesting.

Also, I added to my opening post: I guess I didn't get it across, but it was an all-night thing. She went on and on for the rest of the time we were out. I won't provide details because this thread isn't about this incident, but trust me- this was gay-hating bigotry.

The purpose of this thread, and I'm really glad so many are latching onto it, is exploring the line between your personal comforts and those of a potential SO.

For another example- there was a girl I worked with at another job whom I never dated, but I had sex with her once. She was a racist. She wasn't blatantly open about it, didn't treat anyone badly to their face, but very strong in convictions if it came up in conversation, or once the person in question had left and it was just us "whities". I could have sex with her, because her racism was not so bad that it made me want to walk away from her entirely- mainly because she internalized it. Had she been the least bit vocal or outwardly prejudiced, i'd likely not have even spoken to her. But hell no, i wouldn't date her.

Sex is sex. Most people will look past a LOT just for sex. That's why the option is in the voting, and that's part of the consideration.

This whole thing is about any kind of conflicting moralities or specific ideals- pro-life/choice, for/against guns, maybe YOU are a bigot and your SO isn't, anything. I've met (note: met, not continued to hang out with after having said this to me) guys that have told me they wouldn't date a girl who'd date or fuck outside her race. To them, their moral code is correct, and they hold their potential SO's to their moral code- and anything contradictory might be a deal-breaker.

docbungle

Ah. Well, I would grow tired of someone very quickly if all they did was complain about things (whether it be going off on an anti-gay tirade or anything else) whether I agree with them or not. Big difference between not approving of something and refusing to shut up about it.

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raeanna74

The only thing I think I would be immovable on is a lack kindness towards others.

As for bigotry. I have yet to meet someone who was completely unbiased towards other people with regards to race, culture, and lifestyle. I may be wrong but I hope to see that some day.

Hubby and I actually do tell joke or cut at other races or cutures occaisionally. Usually they come up when we see someone who is behaving in the negative way that often occurs within a certain culture or race or even age. (ie. really old people who drive really slowly and forget to turn off their turn signals - and don't tell me it's not common very old person behavior.)

The lack of kindness can go across the board to all people. In this case this woman seemed to have a lack of kindness in that she tortured her friends with her negative outlook all night long. I wonder if her problem wasn't partly with the show of public affection gay or straight. Though it does sound like the lifestyle was part of it. I wouldn't pursue anything with a person like that who can't get over something so minor. It didn't matter whether they were gay, or black, or real young, or much older. She was a complainer.

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Cynthetiq

bigot defintion = political parties descrition = Archie Bunker not bigot

Not at all, it's miscommunicating which is why I was asking for clarification, and thank you for your clarification.

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Lasereth

Who cares what the definition of bigotry is. Obviously the girl had a problem with gay people and analog can either get over it or it's not gonna work. If me and my GF had morality conflicts like that we'd simply never work. I say go for a one night stand if you can but don't expect a happy relationship with someone that close minded.

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analog

just to re-state, before the info gets twisted: I wasn't with her, she was "with" my friend for the evening.

Gilda

Well, there certainly would be little point in my dating someone who found homosexuality disgusting, but I get the point of the OP.

I have, surprisingly, heard on more than one occasion a lesbian expressing disgust for male homosexuality, and there's no way I would date a woman who made a point of expressing such a point repeatedly, both because of the bigotry and because of the hypocrisy.

Any equivilent view that a date felt the need to repeatedly express would meet the same result, for example disgust for a white man kissing an Asian woman or a black man with a white woman, to name two pairings I've heard disdain for. I wouldn't want to be with a woman whose morality I found offensive.

Gilda

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nezmot

I don't care what her morals are - but if someone does something annoying - they're being annoying. Going on and on about gays, or saving the whales, or being a vegetarian, or a democrat, or a republican, or who decide to turn every conversation into an argument about guns, or racism, or Americans, or all of those (often admirable convictions) is just a pain in the arse after the 1000th time.

Some people become so focused and hung up on a very limited set of topics, that they can't seem to get over it and live a life of balance and normality -it's almost as if they don't want to.

I don't care what anyone believe in, but I'm not keen on fanatics - they usually have a very parochial (and normally very dull) view on life that I find irritating.