Praise the Lord and pass the lubrication - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Craven Morehead · 02-16-2008, 01:19 PM

Quote:

God wants you to have sex
By Susan Thurston, tbt* Staff Writer
Published February 15, 2008

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Here's the deal

Relevant Church holds services at 10 a.m., 11:30 a.m. and 7 p.m. Sundays at the Italian Club in Ybor City, 1731 E Seventh Ave. Call (813) 242-4800 or go to www.relevantchurch.com

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This latest challenge isn't about losing weight, saving money or eating more vegetables.

It's about having sex. Lots of it. As in every day, if you're married. Or not at all, if you're single.

An openly edgy Christian church in Ybor City is launching what they're calling a 30-Day Sex Challenge to help members improve their relationships and rediscover themselves.

Single folks are to abstain from sex for 30 days, even if they are in a committed relationship. Married folks, on the other hand, are supposed to have sex every day for 30 days.

Leaders at Relevant Church, which meets at the Italian Club on Seventh Avenue, will launch the campaign Sunday, fresh off Valentine's Day.

Already, it's gaining attention.

"Of course, all the guys say it's genius," said Pastor Paul Wirth. "The married women think we're out of our minds."

Church members, most of whom are in their 20s and 30s, will get a journal to track their sexual encounters - or lack thereof - and jot down their feelings. Ranters can vent on the church's blog, which is set to go up after the challenge starts, at www.30daysexchallenge.com.

During the challenge, Wirth, 39, and Jason Sowell, 29, who creates brochures and other print media for the church, will tie their Sunday sermons to the campaign, using the Bible as their guide. They hope all 350 members take part, at least to some degree.

"At the end, the teacher isn't going to grade the homework," Wirth said. "But if you can get a couple to be intimate three days a week, their relationship is going to change."

* * *

Doug and Lorena Webber started attending Relevant Church about eight months ago. They live in a big, pretty house in Safety Harbor with their two daughters, Sara, 2 1/2, and Sophia, just 9 weeks. They've been married for more than seven years.

Recently, Doug started his own video production company after being laid off from his job. Lorena is a stay-at-home mom. Feeling pressure to downsize, they have their house up for sale.

The couple has a good bedroom life, but admits that between work, kids and lack of sleep, sex sometimes gets pushed aside.

So when their church announced plans to start a 30-day sex challenge, they decided to give it a try.

"At first I was like, 'Oh - okay,' " said Lorena, 28. "But I think it's going to be really good. You get so busy with life. Life gets in the way."

Doug, 38, didn't hesitate. What guy would, he asked?

Dig further and he explains that, sex aside, it's an opportunity for them to reconnect as a couple emotionally and spiritually.

"It's a great way to regain the focus that we need," said Doug, who occasionally drums in the church band. "I say it's creative but in all reality, it's God's plan for married people. God created it to begin with."

* * *

Church leaders came up the idea while brainstorming ways to help couples tackle their top concerns: sex and money. The nearly 3-year-old church took on money in a recent series. Now it's time for sex.

They choose 30 days so people would build sex into their routines. They wanted to create habits that would spill into all areas of their lives. They didn't want a onetime stunt.

"When you talk about sex, everybody expects the church to say God hates sex," Wirth said. "That's just not true. I really believe that God wants us to have great sex."

The campaign centers on the notion that increasing intimacy will increase communication. Couples will think of each other's needs first and, in turn, get their own needs met. Forget about washing the car or finishing that report - they've made a commitment to each other to feel the love.

For singles, refraining from sex can open opportunities to explore goals and desires without short-term distractions, church officials said. Dating couples can focus on conversation and activities that determine their clothes-on compatibility.

Lynne Santiago, a licensed mental health counselor and clinical sexologist in Tampa, said some couples could benefit from 30 days of sex.

"If sex has become routine or boring, the commitment could force them to stretch their comfort zone a bit and become more creative," she said. "That could be good for the sexual bond, which can be like glue for a relationship."

It won't work, however, for couples with core problems, she said. An abusive spouse, for instance, could use the Bible-based message as fuel for further sexual abuse.

Instead, Santiago advises many of her clients to get to know each other on a physical level while refraining from sex. Weekly homework assignments start with non-erotic touching - such as hugging for 15 minutes straight - and graduate to erotic touching. At the end, most couples feel closer and communicate better.

"Women like to feel mentally connected," she said. "That turns them on."

Mary McGinnis, a licensed marriage and family counselor in Tampa, cautions against using a one-size-fits-all fix on relationships.

"Sexuality is incredibly complex and that approach may sound good and particularly good to some people, but ... I would be somewhat concerned that we would be treating the symptom and not the core issue."

* * *

Relevant Church leaders know the campaign may shock, even disgust, some people in and outside the church. But that was the idea. Create a buzz about a topic a lot of people don't like to talk about.

Even its proposed billboard along Adamo Drive, near 22nd Street, didn't pass the billboard company censors, Wirth said. Posting the 30-Day Sex Challenge Web site was fine. The message, "Are you up for it?" wasn't. Neither was the content of a video linked from the Web site that showed a few bellybuttons and a guy without a shirt.

Eager not to overly offend, the church tweaked the billboard and video. The message remains: Let's talk about sex in an honest, meaningful way.

* * *

Brent Cayson, 28, signed up for the abstinence challenge to gain perspective, strength and stability. A band manager who's had "friends with benefits," he recognizes a lot of committed couples won't like it.

"It definitely puts the pressure on. It will be difficult for a lot of people," he said. "Luckily, I'm single right now."

The son of a pastor, Cayson says he credits Relevant for tackling a subject many traditional churches won't.

Wirth said he had no choice.

"Relationships are at an all-time low, and no one seems to have a handle on how to make them work right," he said.

In the long run, Wirth hopes the campaign draws people who otherwise don't come to church. His recent money series grew attendance by about 25 percent.

Doug Webber, the married guy in Safety Harbor, says his nonchurch married friends are certainly intrigued.

"This is your church?" they ask.

Then, "How do I join?"

- Would you sign up for a 30-Day Sex Challenge? Tell us why or why not at tbteditors@tampabay.com.

http://www.sptimes.com/2008/02/15/Li..._to_have.shtml

levite · 02-16-2008, 02:36 PM

I don't know about the whole single people abstain for thirty days, since the notion that one should not have sex at all before marriage-- at least in Judaism-- seems to be only in regard to the value placed in ancient Middle Eastern cultures on female virginity.

But in other respects...yeah. This is good. I do believe God wants us to have lots of sex. If God didn't want you to do it, it would hurt. And if there was nothing holy about having sex, I doubt people would shout God's name so much when they have it....

Shauk · 02-16-2008, 02:36 PM

somehow I think they were inspired by craigslist

Quote:

You're a really, really sweet girl. I knew when I met you at that party last year that you were different, but I wan't sure how. You were really hot, one of the only other sober people there, and you speak spanish, which I enjoy thoroughly. We had a nice chat, I got your number and my friend Anne has emailed me no less than three times telling me you ask about me a lot. I was psyched to meet up with you the other night, and you looked so hot, again.

But your a Jesus freak. I mean, I know about the guy, and I think it's cool to have a spritual side and all, but you're really all about him, aren't you? It took about 5 minutes for me to realize that we were going to talk about god all night. And I really tried to sympathize with your faith that Jesus gave you a second chance at life after a rough childhood. I was struggling to find encouraging things to say, and I held my toungue pretty well. But here's the deal:

I don't believe in god, babe. Nope, not even an inkling. I'm what you call an Atheist, because your organization needs a word to describe people who don't believe what you believe. Atheist is a newer, kinder word. I would have been a heretic, sinner, witch, blasphemer or satanist had we met in another century, but now, I'm an atheist. Or secular humanist, or, as I like to say, normal. And, sadly, you're in a cult. A Messianic cult, which may be better than some other cults, but it's still a cult, and you're completely brainwashed. I mean, there's very little room in your thinking for any kind of science, let alone philosophy or literature that isn't written in praise of your Leader, and that just sucks, conversationally speaking. I mean we can't really talk about anything without your ultimate arbiter coming into play, at which point the conversation is over. Here's an example from the other night:

Me: Yeah, there was another protest about same sex marriage downtown today, I checked it out.

You: Well homosexuality is a sin against god's plan, you know.

Me: Right. More wine?

What do I say then? You trump everything with the J man, and I have to change the subject, because to debate the issue is to bring up your faith, which is pretty much not debatable. I mean, sure, I could just say I believe this because a magic pie I worship tells me so, but where would that leave us? Pretty much right here.

The toughest part is, all of your holiness is really getting in the way of my porno titfuck fantasy of you. I mean, I really want to do this, it's completely absorbing my thoughts lately, but I feel like Jesus is standing between me and my desire to make love to your breasts. I can almost see his face right in your cleavage saying, No! You will not fuck these titties, non-believer!

So, since nobody really knows what Jesus would do anyway, I'm enlisting the Son of God to get me on your tits. And here's my plan: I'm going to play along with your Jesus land fanstasy for a bit, and slowly convince you that, yes, Jesus wants us to get freaky. Any act that inspires you to yell his name in ecstasy HAS to be god's will. So, baby, let's fuck for Jesus.

Amen.

haha

02-16-2008, 02:36 PM	#2 (permalink)
levite Minion of Joss Location: The Windy City	I don't know about the whole single people abstain for thirty days, since the notion that one should not have sex at all before marriage-- at least in Judaism-- seems to be only in regard to the value placed in ancient Middle Eastern cultures on female virginity. But in other respects...yeah. This is good. I do believe God wants us to have lots of sex. If God didn't want you to do it, it would hurt. And if there was nothing holy about having sex, I doubt people would shout God's name so much when they have it.... __________________ Dull sublunary lovers love, Whose soul is sense, cannot admit Absence, because it doth remove That thing which elemented it. (From "A Valediction: Forbidding Mourning" by John Donne)