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jbrooks544 · 02-26-2004, 06:42 PM

This sounds not too far off from my 3.5 yr old girl. My oldest is a boy, now 5.75 and he was never 1/4 as tough to deal with as the girl. My personal experience is that girls are whiny and mine cries and has several cry/hysterical fits per day lately. I wouldn't over-analyze things. We don't give her attention when she is like that. If she is whining I say "I can't hear you when you talk like that" and don't respond until she asks nicely. Just don't give up. If she disobeys you then just bring her out to the car with you or if at home - 1, 2, 3 off to room for 5 mins. I had very good AM with her yesterday - wakeup, dress, eat in car, off to daycare with no crying or fits. I did it by starting off the second she woke up with a gentle talk - outlining what I expected and what I was going to say and how she would say "yes daddy" and not cry. It helped. When she would start to not accept an answer and want to cry, I would remind her and she stopped. It is a real struggle though.

Don't give her extra attention - positive or negative for being bad or crying. Just do 1,2,3 and at three she goes in the corner or room or loses a privilege or gets a favorite toy taken away. There is some book out now on the 1, 2, 3, thing and it works.

As for the spanking thing - personally, I think it is very bad for kids and teaches them violence, etc. Plus, where I live, or at my day care I would have the police or DSS show up wanting to take my kids away if I spanked them. I can't see how this will help you raise happy and well adjusted kids. I'm not judging - I'm just saying I really can't relate and wouldn't even consider spanking. Can't see how it could possibly help. You don't want to beat your kid into submission. You just have to try to get through this period - stay firm - don't give in - be strong.

Again, I feel your pain and have been going through a tough time with my little girl for the last year at least. Many kids have much bigger problems so let's try to be thankful that they are healthy and ok in most ways and that this is just something that will pass. By the time you figure this phase out she will enter a new one and you will start over again. My five year old is a joy. When she is 5 she will be eager to please and be a ray of sunshine all day - really.

I would try to completely change the way you react and interact when she is bad. Not because you are doing anything wrong really, but just to completely inturrupt the current cycle of give and take between the two of you. All this while still enforcing boundaries and rules and behaviors of cours. I mean, If you yelled before - maybe try to talk calmly and softly. If she was getting attention by acting up then just ask her once to stop and then the 1, 2, 3, thing and BAM! consequence - off to room or corner for 5 minutes. If she makes a fuss BAM 10 minutes. We use an egg timer.

02-26-2004, 06:42 PM	#9 (permalink)
jbrooks544 Addict	This sounds not too far off from my 3.5 yr old girl. My oldest is a boy, now 5.75 and he was never 1/4 as tough to deal with as the girl. My personal experience is that girls are whiny and mine cries and has several cry/hysterical fits per day lately. I wouldn't over-analyze things. We don't give her attention when she is like that. If she is whining I say "I can't hear you when you talk like that" and don't respond until she asks nicely. Just don't give up. If she disobeys you then just bring her out to the car with you or if at home - 1, 2, 3 off to room for 5 mins. I had very good AM with her yesterday - wakeup, dress, eat in car, off to daycare with no crying or fits. I did it by starting off the second she woke up with a gentle talk - outlining what I expected and what I was going to say and how she would say "yes daddy" and not cry. It helped. When she would start to not accept an answer and want to cry, I would remind her and she stopped. It is a real struggle though. Don't give her extra attention - positive or negative for being bad or crying. Just do 1,2,3 and at three she goes in the corner or room or loses a privilege or gets a favorite toy taken away. There is some book out now on the 1, 2, 3, thing and it works. As for the spanking thing - personally, I think it is very bad for kids and teaches them violence, etc. Plus, where I live, or at my day care I would have the police or DSS show up wanting to take my kids away if I spanked them. I can't see how this will help you raise happy and well adjusted kids. I'm not judging - I'm just saying I really can't relate and wouldn't even consider spanking. Can't see how it could possibly help. You don't want to beat your kid into submission. You just have to try to get through this period - stay firm - don't give in - be strong. Again, I feel your pain and have been going through a tough time with my little girl for the last year at least. Many kids have much bigger problems so let's try to be thankful that they are healthy and ok in most ways and that this is just something that will pass. By the time you figure this phase out she will enter a new one and you will start over again. My five year old is a joy. When she is 5 she will be eager to please and be a ray of sunshine all day - really. I would try to completely change the way you react and interact when she is bad. Not because you are doing anything wrong really, but just to completely inturrupt the current cycle of give and take between the two of you. All this while still enforcing boundaries and rules and behaviors of cours. I mean, If you yelled before - maybe try to talk calmly and softly. If she was getting attention by acting up then just ask her once to stop and then the 1, 2, 3, thing and BAM! consequence - off to room or corner for 5 minutes. If she makes a fuss BAM 10 minutes. We use an egg timer. Last edited by jbrooks544; 02-26-2004 at 06:49 PM..