DDDDave

Two old ladies were outside having a smoke when it started to rain. One of the ladies pulled out a condom, cut off the end, put it over her cigarette, and continued smoking.

Miriam: "What's that?"
Agnes: "A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet."
Miriam: "Where did you get it?"
Agnes: "You can get them at any drugstore."

The next day, Miriam hobbles herself into the local drugstore and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms.

The guy, obviously embarrassed, looks at her kind of strangely. She is, after all, over 80 years of age!

He very delicately asks, "What brand do you prefer?"

Miriam: "Doesn't matter, Sonny, as long as it fits a Camel."

The pharmacist fainted.