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Have you personally tried to sit down with her and calmly talk with her? Patience is the biggest virtue here. We have realized that with our son. Simply not talking about the issue and immediately punishing them without letting them know why they are being punished. She is begging for attention, and she is getting plently of attention- but it may be negative. Like people say "negative attention is better than no attention" to a child.
One thing you can try is creating games out of tasks. That way she is more apt to listen and calmly go along without too much trouble. Try not to raise your voice, spank, give a time out, until you have tried to calmly reason with them in a kind, gentle manner.
Remember, it's the parent's responsibility to change a child's behaviour. And, it may also have a lot to do with Daddy not being around as much. All the weight is on you and Daddy is not there. Is she a Daddy's girl? If so, that't it right there.
What we do now more than ever is create family time every day and focus on him and what he wants to do. If he does not receive attention, he will start acting up as well. Remember- ATTENTION- are you giving positive or negative?
Pick up a parenting book, even. Those are always great to read together as parents and help you and your husband discuss important issues so that you both are on the same page in parenting issues.
best of luck- kids will try your patience- demonstrate your patience with them- they will notice.
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