kurty[B]

blizzak has good advice.

This is in my view, so you don't have to take any heed whatsoever. My best friend, is one of these girls. Extremely playful, extremely lively, fun to be around, and loves to flirt, even does things that make you think she's very interested and she may very well be. When I first met this girl I never even thought of her in a sexual manner, more like a sister to me, and so I never second guessed her actions, or tried to tie hidden meanings to every hug and kiss even. We partied together, were snowboarding buddies for two full seasons (60+ days of snowboarding each season), experimented with drugs together, and even fondled each other (that was the real test of our friendship), after that situation blew over we realized we're best friends and that sexual attraction is simply an after thought, I like her more as a friend. She's introduced me to two long-time girlfriends, by the way.

Back to talking about her though, and not us. I've watched her over the years flirt with men. Entices them, plays with their minds and hearts, teases them. She'll even break it down for me afterwards "Oh, I want this guy so bad, he's so hot!", and she'll play with them, and play with them, get what she can out of them and then toss them aside for the next best thing. Or, (I've had a problem with this and confronted her about it), she'll pick out a guy that she can get something out of, alcohol, fancy things, merely material things, tease them, pull them along, let them poor themselves and their attraction to her just to get what she wants from them. She'll make it seem like she's truly interested, flirt, hugs, and what not, get what she wants and then right when she realizes she won't be getting any more, or loses interest she'll right in front of their face move on to the next guy. You can watch girls do this in bars... I've seen her do this to the manager of a rock-climbing gym (although I didn't complain, both her and I had free access to the gym for six months while she was dating him). Basically, I never had interest in her, and after I saw how she treated boys/men/possible boyfriends I didn't really want anything to do with that aspect of her life anyway.

To describe myself a little, I'm not much of one to get played. If I feel that genuine love (not sexual, but simply generosity and compassion) from a girl I'll bend over backwards for her, do anything for her, but as soon as I feel she's simply playing a game I take a step back and really look at the situation. Sometimes I wonder if I'm on the defensive a little too much. Don't hand this girl your heart... Again, do what blizzak says, don't focus everything, your thoughts and all on her, socialize with other girls, sure you still may be more intriqued with her, and lust/love (whatever you want to call it) after her more than others, but don't make her your sole desire. I must also add in, the girl I described above, she's changed a lot over the years, she's grown, and she has been in a serious relationship for two years now (sure had her ups and downs, and during the downs she tended to go back to her old ways), but putting things in her perspective she's only playing the field till she found someone she could really confide in... Keep that in mind. While you might set your mind on this girl, she might have her mind set on finding what's best for her, and while you may be on her list of top options, doesn't mean her mind is focused on you as yours is on her.