Sorry it didn't work out between you two, but you'll survive, right? You deserve to be appreciated.
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Originally posted by slimcr
if she needs it, I'll get it for her.
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If she's not giving back, then there is no point to the relationship because it is pretty much guaranteed not to progress into anything else other than her taking. Relationships are about both taking and giving. You don't always have to give and take 50%, but as long as it balances out in the long run, you've got something going. So, if she doesn't also give, i.e. make an effort to do something for you (her presence making you happy doesn't count), then it's time to get out of the relationship.
Not sure if this is helpful to you, but here is a snippet from the chapter in my human sexuality textbook about relationships:
The chapter opens with a formula for relationships, called the ABCDEs. A-Attraction, B-Building, C-Continuation, D-Deterioration, E-Ending.
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The D's--Deterioration
Deterioration is the fourth stage of a relationship. It is not necessarily a stage that we seek, and it is certainly not an inevitability. Positive factors that can deter or slow deterioration include putting time and energy into the relationship, striving to cultivate the relationship, and showing patience--for example, giving the relationship a reasonable opportunity to improve. Negative factors that foster deterioration include failure to invest time and energy in the relationship, deciding to put an end to it, and simply permitting deterioration to proceed unchecked.
A relationship begins to deteriorate when one or both partners deem the relationship to be less enticing or rewarding than it has been. Couples who work toward maintaining and enhancing their relationships, however, may find that these become stronger and more meaningful.
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More quotes:
"Active means of response include doing something that may enhance the relationship (such as working on improving communication skills, negotiating differences, or seeking professional help) or making a decision to end the relationship. Passive methods of responding are basically characterized by waiting for something to happen--by just doing nothing."
"It is irrational (and damaging to a relationship) to assume that suitable relationships require no investment of time and effort."