In the event of emergency,find a 3-story,10-foot-high building.
Just follow the red arrow and watch your head on the way in.
If your building collapses, give yourself a blowjob while waiting to be rescued.
If you have set yourself on fire,run quickly to the shower.
Avoid mind altering drugs whilst waiting to be rescued.
If you are sprayed with an unknown substance,stand and ponder your options.
Always carry your magic flashlight with you in case you need to clear debris.
Because as we all know.
It sucks to get trapped under stuff.
Vortex,dead animals and the biohazard symbol have a lot in common. Think about it.
In times of crisis and widespread panic it is often a great chance to loot desirable consumer goods.
Hide these items.
It's a confined space you idiot.
Don't fart.
If you do let one rip then cover face.
The phone may seem like a lifeline in times of need.
But washing your hands with contaminated water will only make the numbers on your phone disappear.
If you choose to fight the power by trying to escape.
Beware.
It fights back.
When all hope is gone,go to basement.
Start your own meth lab,and die with a smile on your face.
