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sexymama · 02-10-2004, 07:51 PM

Tonight I need to rant.

At the gym tonight my daughters told me that their dad can't come to any of their meets and they really want him to. He can't come because the only one he can make it to, I supposedly said he couldn't come to. I had emailed him to let him know Lebell would be here that weekend, but never told him he couldn't come up. (Although I must say I think it is odd that with 8 meets the ONLY one he can attend is the one in which my fiance is in town.) So, when we left the gym, I called him, in front of the girls and said, "I'm calling because the girls mentioned that you can't come to any of their gymnastic meets because the only one you can come to is the one when Lebell (okay, I used his real name) is in town. I never said you couldn't come." He started to argue with me; but I was in front of the girls so I calmly responded, "well, _____, I would never keep you from your children and want you to know that as far as I'm concerned, you can come." He got very quiet. Then I asked if he'd like to talk with the girls. That was my way of letting him know they had heard the entire conversation.

Why am I mad, you may ask? It sounds like he just didn't understand. I say, bs! He has this win/loose attitude and he thinks that the children can't love us both. In the long run, they will have to choose one or the other. I disagree and know that they can love both of us. I will raise them simply because I'm more capable; but he is still their father. I never say anything bad about him to them as I know that is not good for their self-image.

How do you all deal with ex's and raising your children? What hints do you have? What works and what doesn't work?

02-10-2004, 07:51 PM	#1 (permalink)
sexymama My own person -- his by choice Location: Lebell's arms	Divorced parents Tonight I need to rant. At the gym tonight my daughters told me that their dad can't come to any of their meets and they really want him to. He can't come because the only one he can make it to, I supposedly said he couldn't come to. I had emailed him to let him know Lebell would be here that weekend, but never told him he couldn't come up. (Although I must say I think it is odd that with 8 meets the ONLY one he can attend is the one in which my fiance is in town.) So, when we left the gym, I called him, in front of the girls and said, "I'm calling because the girls mentioned that you can't come to any of their gymnastic meets because the only one you can come to is the one when Lebell (okay, I used his real name) is in town. I never said you couldn't come." He started to argue with me; but I was in front of the girls so I calmly responded, "well, _____, I would never keep you from your children and want you to know that as far as I'm concerned, you can come." He got very quiet. Then I asked if he'd like to talk with the girls. That was my way of letting him know they had heard the entire conversation. Why am I mad, you may ask? It sounds like he just didn't understand. I say, bs! He has this win/loose attitude and he thinks that the children can't love us both. In the long run, they will have to choose one or the other. I disagree and know that they can love both of us. I will raise them simply because I'm more capable; but he is still their father. I never say anything bad about him to them as I know that is not good for their self-image. How do you all deal with ex's and raising your children? What hints do you have? What works and what doesn't work? __________________ If you can go deeply into lovemaking, the ego disappears. That is the beauty of lovemaking, that it is another source of a glimpse of god It's not about being perfect; it's about developing some skill at managing imperfection.