SabrinaFair

Hello lovely ladies...

All right. I just thought I'd get some feedback from a larger audience to a rather interesting dilemna. I must begin with a slight back history so you can understand the circumstances leading up to a rather bizarre evening that still has me reeling.

First of all, Nick. Nick is a romantic musician with an interest in philosophy and performance art. The best way I can describe him is "out there." He's very individual, very creative, and a lot of fun to be around if you have a sophisticated sense of humour. He's not had a real relationship since high school. That being said, a history.....I've known Nick for about 13 years. Considering that I'm not-quite 20 years old, that's a freakin' long time. He was the first guy I ever liked. Seriously. My first crush. We were friends through most of elementary school, until he moved after sixth grade. We met up again a couple of years later, exchanged some letters, then lost contact again. I didn't see or hear from him for like two or three years. Then September 2002, I found out he was attending school a little more than an hour from UofL, where I attend. So, I get his e-mail address from a friend that attends the same school (God bless school-provided e-mail accounts) and send a message. A couple of messages are exchanged, we met and caught up, fun times. We saw each other maybe three times that semester, then kept up by phone until the next September. He came up to visit me, and things kept their usually friendly rapport until my roomate left to attend a party out of town. He then acknowledged the attraction between us. So after much much MUCH diliberation, we ended up making out for about four hours. That's it...kissing. So much fun! I've had much more passionate encounters, but never one quite so fun. Late that night, I slipped on my silk nightie, the one I got on sale at Victoria's Secret. I made us a bed out of a relatively uncomfortable futon. As we laid down, he whispered, "I bet this is what it feels like to be married." I suppose I should interject that Nick has this romantic notion of marriage. We spent that wonderful evening together, and nothing more become of it, because I started dating someone else a couple of weeks later. Although it hurt him, he pretended to be happy for me and we continued to be friends in much the same manner we always have. Somewhat from a distance, but always able to pick up where we left off.

So last week, I went to Nick's town because my boyfriend lived there. I was going to break up with him (Ryan) Nick took me to dinner first, while I waited on Ryan to get home from work. We had a nice conversation, and he did his best to comfort me as I mentally prepared myself for a rather wrenching breakup.

Nick came to see me last night. We got some dinner, sang some Dashboard Confessional, and talked like friends until about 9 o'clock, when I opened up a rather large bottle of wine. We shared that bottle of wine and talked, flirted, danced around the issue. Although Nick can irritate the crap out of me sometimes, I'll always be amazed by his smile.

So...what I'm getting at here is that while intoxicated, Nick asked me to marry him. At our drunkest, we had a conversation about getting married in two years, moving to Savannah, and then having children when I get out of law school. WFT? We ended up taking a walk...please keep in mind it's the coldest winter I can remember. So we walked and talked, and held gloved hands. And he asked me again...out in the snow, on the street where I live, he got down on his knee and asked if I would marry him in two years. "Sabrina, with the bluest eyes, will you marry me?" he said.

To quickly wrap up this rather legnthy story...we're not entering into a relationship because of the distance. And I seriously doubt he'll hold me to that proposal, which I think I accepted in my deluded state. But anyway. I know he was drunk...but have you ever heard the expression, "Where there's smoke there's fire?" I'm just not really sure what to make of all this. I'm just starting to remember somethings. I drank a lot of wine. We said "I love you". Which is true, although my love for him is largely as a friend. He said, "I want you to have my children, and...you could inspire me." I remember asking him if he would want to wake up next to me...he said something to the effect of, "Are you kidding? I'd love that." So yeah. I really would like to hear what other people have to say about this. If nothing else, it was nice to get the story out there. Sorry I took so much of your time (if you're still reading this)

Much love,
Sabrina