[EDIT] People should note that the journal entry is NOT representative of my normal state of mind. That is what makes it strange to me. I also don't make as many typing mistakes.[/EDIT]
No this isn't quite as stupid as what your probably expecting.
I had an unusual first experience last night.
My housemate was having her boyfriend over and they were having sex in her room. It was noisy in a smacky squishy way. That isn't very interesting.
What is interesting is my reaction to hearing this. I suddenly felt like I was alone and that no one truly cared about me. I got an adrenaline dump, heart racing, sweating, and nausea. No one was on AIM and there was no one I could call (friday night, home alone working... lame I know)... so I wrote a
massive journal entry which explains my state of mind at that moment perfectly. I was so desperate to talk to people that I went to IRC to chat with a videogame clan that I played with years ago. I had to leave and sleep in a friends room on campus because I couldn't stand to be "alone."
I only started to feel better after watching "I'm gonna git you sucka" sandwiched in between two girlfriends.
Sure I have the same insecurities everyone else has, but I have never had trouble dealing with them before...
So I'm throwing this out there? Ever had to listen to other people have sex when you really really didn't want to?